Chapter Text
The afternoon sun filtered through the blinds of Josh Lyman's office, casting long stripes across the cluttered desk and the two men lounging in mismatched chairs. Sam Seaborn was leaned back, one foot propped on the edge of the desk, a half-smile playing on his lips as he flicked through a folded newspaper.
"You ever think about how hard it must be to find homes for all those animals?" Sam murmured, eyes catching on a small advert tucked into the corner — a local animal shelter pleading for adopters.
Josh, sprawled in his chair with an easy grin, glanced to see what had caught his friend’s attention. "You mean besides the fact that they keep breeding?"
Sam chuckled softly, his gaze lingering on a grainy photo of a tongue-lolling puppy. "Yeah, but even harder for cats, I think."
Josh raised an eyebrow, intrigued despite himself. "Why cats?"
Sam shrugged, warming to the topic. "Dogs are... well, dogs. Loyal, friendly, people want them. They even star in their own movies. Cats? They’re... finicky. Independent. Not everyone’s cup of tea."
Josh smirked, tapping a finger against his chin. "I’ve never owned a cat, but I’m thinking they’re cleaner, quieter. Easier to manage. Just as easy to get adopted, if you ask me."
Ever the competitive pair, Sam grinned, the spark of a challenge brightening his eyes. "Alright, how about this? We put it to the test. By next month, we see who can get more of their target animals adopted. Me with dogs, you with cats."
Josh’s eyes gleamed with excitement. "You’re on."
The energy rose with each detail affirmed. “Starts today.”
“Ends in four weeks.”
“We need proof: receipts, adoption records, whatever.”
“The White House staff is off-limits.”
“You and I can’t adopt, either.”
“We’re on!” Sam rejoiced.
The next morning, a few receipts and adoption records in hand already, both men arrived at work ready to prove their point. Josh suggested handing the paperwork over to Donna for safekeeping, but Sam vetoed that with a laugh. "I don’t think Donna’s above helping you cheat."
Their shared smirk gave way to a new idea. "Toby!" Sam said, nodding.
Josh agreed instantly. "Yes! Toby’d be the perfect bookkeeper."
They burst into Toby Ziegler’s office, talking over each other in their eagerness. Sam dropped a thick folder of receipts on Toby’s desk; Josh placed a paper sack from a sandwich shop beside it with a sheepish shrug.
Toby looked up at their sudden entrance, perplexity sliding into amusement. "What is this?"
"Our adoption challenge," Sam exclaimed breathlessly, as if that were enough explanation.
"We want you to keep track," Josh added, "make sure it’s fair. You know? You will, won’t you?" He implored.
Toby sighed, already resigned to the chaos that was sure to engulf him anyway. "Fine. But if that isn’t a bribe,” he indicated Josh’s bag, “I’ll expect one by lunch."
Weeks passed with good-natured one-upmanship. Sam and Josh traded barbs and updates, each convinced of their inevitable victory.
Sam used a recent contact in the local school system to arrange for a regular rotation of upper elementary kids to come practice reading aloud, each kid to a dog. The shelter’s halls echoed every few days with the sound of young voices and canine commentary, a steady stream of boomerang-effect adoptions followed in their wake, and continued.
Josh, not to be outdone, convinced a retirement community to transform an unused banquet room into a sensory sitting area, complete with cats. The room became a sanctuary of soft purrs and gentle strokes, where residents found comfort and companionship. The cats, in turn, basked in the warmth and attention, their eyes half-closed in contentment.
Sam’s next move was a mystery to everyone but him. Somehow, he found a racetrack with a generation of whippets ready to retire. No one knew how Sam even knew a themed wedding planner or how he persuaded her to adopt the whole lot. But the sight of sleek, slender dogs lounging in sun-dappled yards – wearing bowties and pearls – was a testament to his quiet determination.
Meanwhile, Josh discovered and funded a startup cat cafe. Though the building wouldn’t be ready by the end of the month, he secured prepaid adoption fees from the new owner and established promissory notes for all the needed felines. Receipts and paperwork were all legit, a testament to Josh’s meticulous nature. He tried to imagine the promise of a cozy cafe filled with the soft padding of paws and the aroma of fresh coffee… Maybe he’d visit when it was done, drag Sam with him in victory.
The friendly rivalry continued, each new idea met with a raised eyebrow and a sly grin, the stakes rising but the laughter never fading.
Finally, the day arrived. They gathered in Toby’s office, anticipation thick in the air. Toby had two labeled folders on his desk, each bursting with paperwork and receipts.
Josh leaned forward, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "So, Toby! Who won? Me or Sam?"
Toby reached under his desk and pulled out a third folder, thicker and heavier than the others.
"I did," he said dryly. "I backed the Independents."
Laughter erupted as Sam and Josh took the proffered folder and delved. Inside were records of adopted rabbits, rodents, reptiles, and even a few rare tropical fish. The folder bulged with the unexpected: a parrot, a burro, and—Josh’s eyes widened as he shouted with disbelief, “43 roosters?”
"Animal Control was called in after a local bust also revealed a cock-fighting ring," Toby explained with a shrug, "apparently."
Sam snatched the paper from Josh’s hands to see… “a farm?! You found them an actual farm, like in the country?”
They flipped through pages detailing relocated llamas, miniature goats, and an entire herd of wild horses.
Sam and Josh exchanged astonished, meaningful glances, then turned back to Toby with newfound respect.
"You win," Sam admitted, bowing his head.
"Yeah," Josh agreed with his own flourish, "you outdid us."
Toby straightened, a rare smile breaking his usual stoic demeanor. "So, what do I get? What did I win?"
Sam and Josh laughed. Then they looked at each other and laughed even harder, the sound filling the room. “We never thought about it.” Admitted Josh.
"Bragging rights," Sam chuckled. “That, for sure!”
"And maybe another sandwich," Josh offered.
Sam and Josh were still laughing as Toby shooed them back out of his office. Toby smirked after them feeling the kind of contentment that only comes from a challenge well met and friendships well kept.