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It was a beautiful sunny day. Light breeze and a few clouds in the sky. Slightly warmer than it normally was for this time of year, but Martin would take it. Especially on what today was. Valentine’s Day used to not mean much to him. Sure, he’d buy candy for the people he cared about, but it was like any other normal day…well…that was until he dated Jon. They never officially got to celebrate the day together as a couple, but this was just going to have to do.
He made his way through the cemetery. His first stop was to Tim’s grave, “Hey, Tim. How’s things been?” He sat down and pulled a pack of Smarties out of his bag, “Happy Valentine’s Day. And don’t give me a hard time about this. Friends can buy each other candy today. It’s not all about romance.”
Martin smiled at the memory of every single Valentine’s Day, giving Tim a small pack of his favorite candy, and Tim in turn, winking and saying, “Hey, Marto! You got a crush on me? You know, dance cards always open.” Which would make Martin blush and send him into a babbling mess of “No, Timothy, I can buy my friends gifts today. I even got Sash her favorite candy too. And Jon…well…I don’t even know what he likes, but I did get him some chocolate.”
Martin sighed, “It’s been…it’s been alright. Jon and I saved the world, did I tell you that? I’m sure I did, but you know, the head isn’t what it used to be. Apparently, getting hit in the head by falling beams is bad for the brain.”
Martin had suffered a pretty serious brain injury when the Panopticon collapsed. It had been a long road to recovery, he still forgot things and often repeated himself.
“London is different now. Those of us that walked the domains and made it out have started support groups. I like mine. It’s been nice to talk to others who suffered in the Lonely. Especially on days like today.” Martin stood, “I got to make my rounds, Tim. I’ll come visit again soon. Promise. Take care, yeah?” Martin kissed his fingers and laid them down on the stone grave. He began walking.
His next stop was Sasha, “Hey, Sash. Brought you something too. Happy Valentine’s Day.” He pulled out a Mars bar and laid it on her grave, “Tim said Hi…well…I’m sure you two are together now, and he probably tells you that all the time, but just in case, I know he’d want me to pass on that message.”
He sat down in front of her grave, “They just opened a cat café across from where the Institute was. It’s nice and I think you would have enjoyed it on your lunch breaks. I volunteer there now. Work isn’t…hasn’t been easy. Not with my brain. Did I tell you I have a brain injury? I probably did. Doctors say it might be getting worse. I forget stuff, and sometimes that’s not good, especially at work. Don’t worry. I won’t forget about you and Tim. I will be here for every Holiday. Including your birthdays.”
He idly picked at the grass, “Did I tell you that Jon and I got together eventually? You were right. It just took a lot of patience, and maybe a few life altering events, but we are—were happy together. He and I saved the world, you know that right? Elias wasn’t Elias. He was actually Jonah Magnus. Jon caused the world to end and then saved it. I was just along for the ride really. His anchor to his humanity.”
Martin stood, “I can’t stay long today, Sash. I have one more visit to make. I promise you and Tim I’ll come by again soon.”
Just like with Tim, he kissed the tips of his fingers and laid them gently on her stone. He walked away.
The next grave was the farthest away from Tim and Sasha. This had been done on purpose. Georgie and Basira had fought to get Jon a proper burial. Even though everyone wanted to blame him for what had happened. He was the one to cause the world to end, but they argued that he was also the one who righted it, giving his own life in the process.
Jon’s grave was behind a locked gate in order to keep vandals at bay, one in which Martin had a key.
At least Martin thought he had a key.
“Oh Christ. Where did I put that key? Hang on Jon, I know I have it somewhere.”
He patted down his pockets and checked his bag. It was not in there.
“Well…I guess I can still talk to you. I must have left the key at home. Brain injury, you know. Did I tell you that? It’s getting worse. Georgie and Melanie let me move in with them. Work has been…it’s been tough. I work one day a week now.”
Martin sat down outside the gate and stared at Jon’s stone, “Oh! Here, I brought you something.” He pulled out a heart shaped box of dark chocolates and slid them through the gate, “Here, love. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
He laid down on the grass, “They tore down what was left of the Institute and built a park there now. It’s really nice. There’s a big memorial stone with the names of all the victims who didn’t make it back out of the domains. I go there a lot and think. I try to write poetry still, but it’s getting harder and harder. Brain injury, you know. I told you that, right? No, of course I did. Get yourself together, Blackwood.”
Martin watched the clouds float by, “Can I be honest, Jon? I’m scared. Not like in the fear munching scared, but as in, my memory. It’s getting worse. There’s nothing they can do to really stop it. What if I forget what you sound like or look like? I promised Tim and Sasha I wouldn’t forget to come visit them on Holidays and their birthdays, but what if I do? What if it gets to the point where I don’t remember them?”
He felt tears come, “And then, what if one day, no one visits them, or you. That’s not right. I hope Georgie or Basira will still bring me here to visit. It’s almost like being in the Lonely again. I told Tim I was part of a support group for people who were trapped in their domains, but really, I didn’t want him to worry about me. I’m in a support group for people with brain injuries like mine. They’ve been really helpful. It’s been good to be around others like me.”
Martin wiped at his eyes, “Sorry. This isn’t how this visit was supposed to go. Here I am, crying and telling you all my problems. I miss you, you menace. Sometimes I wonder, if we’d just stayed at the safehouse, if we let the cabin take us, what would have happened? Would we have been happy? We’d be together, and that’s all I think I could have asked for. I shouldn’t have been so pushy about leaving. Maybe it would have been a comfortable existence in whatever the cabin had in store for us. But probably not. Nightmare world and all that.”
He sat up and pulled his knees up to his chest and stared at Jon’s name carved into the stone in front of him, “If my brain goes, and if I can’t take care of myself anymore, do you think…do you think Georgie would move me into a home like my mother? I hope not. I’ve been trying really hard to keep myself sharp. That’s why I volunteered at the cat café across from the Institute. Did I already tell you that or was that Sasha?”
Martin shook his head, “It doesn’t matter. I don’t think she would. She told me that I was welcomed in her and Melanie’s home for however long I wanted. I just…I wasn’t allowed to live alone anymore. I…I’m embarrassed to say this, but I was making tea one afternoon and left the kettle on the stove. Almost burnt my flat down. I just forgot to turn the stove off. I’m only allowed to use an electric kettle now, and Melanie is always there to make sure I turn it off. I feel bad intruding on their home with my problems, but they’ve made me feel comfortable. And the Admiral is good company.”
He sighed, “He’s getting so old now. His orange color has faded quite a bit to a softer almost butterscotch color. He likes to curl up on my lap in the mornings when Georgie goes to work and Melanie is still in bed. Basira comes by still. She travels a lot though. She said she promises to visit you when she’s in town next.”
Martin stood, “I don’t want to leave, but it’s getting late. Georgie worries about me if I’m gone for too long. She actually made me a notebook with a list of the stations to take to get around, it’s been really helpful. She also wrote her details down in it, in case I can’t remember them. I can’t kiss your stone today, but…” Martin blew a kiss to Jon, “…there. That should do for right now. I love you and I miss you so much. I wish…I wish every single day that things were different for us. I wish our fates hadn’t been sealed so early on. Maybe…maybe we could have met in other circumstances and right now we’d be happily married. Maybe we’d be adopted dad’s raising two kids and have our own farm of cows.”
He settled his bag back on his shoulder, “I promise, Jon. That if things get really bad with my brain, I won’t forget you. Love you.”
Martin turned and walked away from the grave. He would keep that promise. Even if he forgot everything else in his life, he would never forget Jon.