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Not So Secret-Secret
“Splash me! Splash me, I’m low Jude!” Sharpness yelled as Jude obligingly tossed a health pot his way.
Sharp placed down two cobwebs quickly to heal while Judelow continued the attack against Tai.
”His armors low, he’s mending already!” Jude responded.
”Bro, it’s ‘cause I just got out of a fight!” Tai complained. “You two fuckers jumped me while I was looting Spongs!”
”Looting? Spongs? In the same sentence?” Sharp asked, amused. He ender-pearled out of the webs next to Jude who was already chasing a running Tai across the mountain-scape.
“Yeah bro, he was talking about some ‘invisible king’ bullshit with a voice changer and-“ Tai gets cut off, popping a totem. “FUCK! WHY DO YOU GUYS DEAL SO MUCH DAMAGE?”
”Skill issue, Tai!” Sharpness calls, right on Tai’s tail.
”Skill issue my ass. You guys shamelessly jumped me into a 2v1!” Tai shrieks, dodging Jude’s attacks.
“Too bad, arrow cannon boy,” Jude teased, putting down a pressure plate.
Tai tried to jump back, but he was too late. The ground opened up from under him and swallowed him whole. After a couple seconds of rough piston noises, Sharpness and Judelow heard a decisively satisfying thump! as Tai finally fell into the crit-out chamber.
Jude quickly dug down a seemingly random block, revealing a hidden ladder, and scrambled down before Tai could escape. Sharpness followed, ecstatic that they’d caught the most annoying person on the server.
As they reached the bottom and found Tai, still helpless and cursing inside the trap, Jude ran up to kill Tai.
Without thinking and still high from the rush of trapping Tai, Sharpness yelled, “FUCK YOU TAI! YOU’RE NO MATCH FOR ME AND MY BOYFRIENDS’ TRAPS!”
His words didn’t register until it was too late.
For a moment, the chamber went quiet. Jude froze mid-strike, and Tai even stopped his fruitless attempts at escaping.
Sharpness’s eyes widened, but before he could play it off as a stupid joke, Tai burst out laughing.
Full on, belly shaking, wheezing-for-breath laughter.
Jude’s normally collected facade dropped as his face burned bright red, refusing to meet Tai’s eyes.
”You two are dating?” Tai punched out between fits of giggles. “The server’s most dEaDlY deathtrap duo? The two dEaLieSt players on Strength?”
“Tai, shut the actual fuck up!” Sharpness snaps, his own face redder than a tomato. “You better not fucking tell anyone about this!”
”Why should I not?” Tai smirked. “This is the most gossip this server has gotten in weeks!”
Jude groaned. “If we let you out with your gear and strength intact, will you please keep quiet about me and Sharpness?”
“Hmm…I don’t know…” Tai pretended to think about it.
“Just fucking kill him already!” Sharpness lunges over, about to strike Tai.
”No, no! Wait!” Tai says quickly, a little panic showing through. “If you let me out unharmed and stop jumping me, I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
Jude looked wholly unimpressed but sighed, mining the blocks trapping Tai.
Tai jumped out and stretched a little, his muscles slightly aching after being cramped in a tight chamber for the past half an hour.
”You better not tell anyone.” Sharpness threatens, his eyes promising a swift and painful death.
”Nope! Not a single soul!” Tai grins, already climbing up the ladder to freedom.
“Oh my fucking god, this is the third time Tai’s messaging me for resources!” Sharpness complained, getting up from where he was sharpening his sword.
“So? Can’t you just refuse? It’s not like he could force you to, you’d just drop his ass,” Jude snorted, not looking up from sketching his new trap idea at his desk.
“Bro. Did you already forget? He knows about us!” Sharpness ran his hand through his hair. “This guy is actually blackmailing me because he’s too much of a bitch to gather his own arrow canon materials.”
Jude snickered, amused. Despite his earlier off guard reaction to Tai finding out that he was dating Sharpness, he didn’t really care if people knew or not.
He was only slightly surprised and embarrassed on behalf of Sharp, who definitely, decisively, does care if their friends knew.
For Jude, it didn’t matter, if he was happy with his boyfriend, that was all that he cared about. Fuck whatever Tai and the rest of the server thought!
He respected Sharpness’s feelings, however, which is why he kept their relationship a secret.
“Dude, its not funny!” Sharpness sighed dramatically.
“Yep. Not funny. Not funny at all. Super unfunny.” Jude agreed with the straightest face he could manage.
Sharp gave Jude a sidelong glare, before huffing and getting up.
“Well, I guess I have to go collect Tai’s stupid arrows,” Sharp rolled his eyes, heading up the oak stairs of Jude’s base.
“Have fun, babe!” Jude called after him.
Sharpness turned back just long enough to flash a vulgar gesture at his boyfriend, before turning around again and sprinting up to spawn.
When he’d first seen Jude’s base, he thought it was stupid that the trapper built it right near spawn.
I mean, he was practically begging to get robbed blind, then jumped.
It would have been a piece of cake to catch him off guard at his base and steal all his shit.
Well, it should have been.
As it turns out, Jude, unlike Sharpness, had more than half a functioning braincell.
Confident in his trapping abilities, the rabbit-hybrid purposefully made his base seem easy to enter, baiting anyone stupid enough down into his lair brimming full of traps.
That was how they started dating, actually!
When Sharpness fell into another one of Jude’s clever traps after being masterfully baited into the base with the promise of turtle potions, he made a deal with Jude to not get killed.
Did it work?
Kinda.
He got killed anyways, but in the end, he got his shit back, including his strength. So he didn’t lose anything!
Instead, he gained the most valuable thing he had.
They agreed to team up after learning they were both solo, and slowly, their mutually beneficial agreement morphed into something deeper. Stronger.
When Jude had first shyly asked Sharpness to be his boyfriend, he was ecstatic.
But soon, he thought about the repercussions to their relationship.
The whole server, if they knew, would be quick to exploit the duos’ weaknesses: Sharpness and Jude’s unwavering loyalty towards each other.
Also, it’d be super embarrassing. The server’s best pvper, falling for his rival?
With his head lost in thought, Sharpness almost didn’t notice Tai leaning against the tree a few blocks away from him.
“Do you have my arrows?” Tai asked with a shit-eating grin.
“Bro, you asked for them literally 5 minutes ago. Chill, I’m about to get them right now,” Sharpness replied, glaring. “The only reason you’re not dead right now is because you know about me and Jude.”
“I know!” Tai exclaims. “Isn’t it wonderful!”
Sharpness didn’t allow Tai the satisfaction of a response.
After three mindless hours of grinding, Sharp finally got the shulker full of arrows Tai requested. Making his way to Tai and N00B’s base, he inwardly cursed himself for being stupid enough to accidentally spill him and Jude’s secret relationship in front of Tai.
At the base, he dropped off the shulker and was about to head back home, when a confused N00B appeared at the doorway.
“Sharp? What are you doing here? Why is there a shulker box in front of my base?” He asked.
“It’s Tai’s arrows he wanted,” Sharp huffed.
“Wait, why are you out here running errands for Tai?” N00B was skeptical. “Is this one of Jude’s fucking psychological 200 IQ traps?”
At the mention of his boyfriend’s name, Sharp felt a small blush creep up his ear. Hopefully N00B was too dumb to notice.
N00B was, in fact, not too dumb to notice. But he kept quiet anyways, staring expectantly at Sharp for an answer.
“Well, I might have accidentally spilled some private information to Tai, and now he’s blackmailing me with it.” Sharpness mumbled.
“What did you say? It can’t have been that bad?” N00B pressed.
“He saw me with my boyf- Jude, and-“ Sharp got cut off by N00B’s surprised laugh.
“So you and Judelow are dating!” N00B says thoughtfully.
“What? No!” Sharp quickly denies, but to no avail.
“I knew it!” N00B continued, blind to Sharp’s horrified expression.
“Bro! Shut your mouth! It’s a fucking secret!” Sharpness looked one moment away from slitting N00B’s throat with his sword. “I’m going back to my base, fuck you and fuck Tai!”
He didn’t think much about N00B’s knowing smile when Sharp claimed his relationship with Jude was a secret.
As he was flying back home on his elytra, he pulled out his communicator to complain to Jude.
You whisper to Judelow: bro
Judelow whispers to you: ?
You whisper to Judelow: N00B knows about us
Judelow whispers to you: LOL
Judelow whispers to you: ACTUALLY??
You whisper to Judelow: YES DUDE ITS NOT FUNNY
Judelow whispers to you: yes it is :skull:
Judelow whispers to you: how tho
You whisper to Judelow: bro i was dropping off Tai’s fucking arrows
You whisper to Judelow: and i saw N00B
Judelow whispers to you: so?
Sharpness groans, dragging his hand down his face. Does Jude really need him to spell it out for him? Wasn’t he supposed to be the smartest trapper on the server?
You whisper to Judelow: i uhm
You whisper to Judelow: i accidentally let it slip
Judelow whispers to you: AGAIN
Judelow whispers to you: LMAO
You whisper to Judelow: BRO IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
Judelow whispers to you: ok but actually do you want me to do anything
You whisper to Judelow: idk bro
Judelow whispers to you: well whatever you decide ill support u
Judelow whispers to you: love ya babe see u soon
Sharpness allows himself a small smile. No matter how much of a bitch Jude was, he knew he could always rely on him. That was part of why he loved him so much.
< conexion > /whisper Jude i love u too
< ParkerGameBrain > WHAT
< conexion> SHIT [x5]
< ItsN00B > LMAO WHAT
< _Tai > SHARPLOWWW
< conexion > TAI SHUT UR ASS UP I WILL DROP U
< Judelow > sharpness…
< DoomedCow > PARKER U OWE ME 20 BUCKS
< conexion > IT WAS TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT
< Saparata > dawg no amount of context will fix that :skull: :sobs:
< conexion > BRO???
< Judelow > well the secrets out
< Judelow > sharpness is my lovely boyfriend :heart:
< conexion > i hate u all
< Spongs > clearly not jude LOL
| conexion left the game
< _Tai > BRO REALLY RAGEQUIT :sobs:
| conexion joined the game
< conexion > whatever
< conexion > at least i have a boyfriend
< conexion > who loves me
< ParkerGameBrain > bro KEEP IT IN THE BEDROOM
< _Tai > sharplow is real
< Judelow > tai if i were u id watch my back
< Judelow > ur the biggest quickdrop in strength besides for spongs
< _Tai > …
< Spongs > sharplow valentines day 2026…? :eyes:
Sharpness shoved his communicator back in his pocket. Despite his cheeks quite literally resembling a tomato, he couldn’t help the stupid grin spreading on his face.
Maybe the server knowing about him and his boyfriend wasn’t the worse thing in the world, after all.