Chapter Text
It was always difficult, agreeing to ideas and proposals away from the ghosts. Especially when said proposal was offered up at a random boot sale with no prior warning. Trying to predict what they’d want was sometimes easier said than done - she’d got it horribly wrong on more than one occasion. Alison was only at the bootsale because Mike had thought it would be a good idea to get to know the community a bit more (and the fact he was after some old beyblades to rip down some of the hallways - she’d seen his ebay searches) so it wasn’t like she’d had a debrief with the ghosts to talk about what they’d want her to say. So, it was only natural that she’d bumped into someone who worked at one of the war museums on the outskirts of town with zero idea of how the Captain would react to anything she said about the house and its history. The bloke she’d met was overly friendly and northern - she already knew his mother’s name, his sister’s name, the fact he had a gay uncle in America who’d been in the army, and that said uncle was getting married next summer. It had sparked his interest in world war two by listening to his uncle's stories about army life, and now he worked unravelling its history.
“Do you get many visitors?” Alison had asked, more interested in him and his work than the random toot Mike was browsing.
The man smiled and shrugged. “A few. It’s a bit of a niche aspect of the war. Most people are interested in the tanks and the weapons and the uniforms but - I think it’s nice to delve into the people who fought. I think letters and personal stories are just as fascinating as a spitfire. We’ve got some really interesting history, there’s so many stories still to tell. Some of those soldiers didn’t have any more family, you know? We give them a chance to be remembered and honoured. To have their voices heard.”
It was a sweet thing to try and achieve. There was no telling if the Captain would approve, but she thought he’d find it just as nice (even if he wouldn’t admit it). “That is lovely. We’ve actually got a chest full of letters and documents from when there were soldiers at Button House. Never got the time to look into them properly.”
His face lit up at the mention, the excitement clear and instant. “Button House! Oh, if you would be willing to donate them to the museum I would be glad to go through them. If I can I try to trace through to friends and family, put together a story and source some photos for anyone who was in service. Sometimes they just get added to our database but - once they’re immortalised on the internet I think it’s a job well done.”
Alison smiled at that, nodding her agreement. “Oh, yeah! Yeah sure, that would be lovely. What was your name?”
“Daniel Roan, even if I’m not there just put my name on the box and it will get sent to my desk.” Daniel told her with a big grin, holding his hand out for her to shake.
Alison took it and shook, hoping that the Captain wouldn’t have too much of a problem with what she’d just agreed to.
- .... . -.-- / --. .- -.--
Back at the house, Alison quickly sought out the Captain while Mike was distracting most of the other ghosts by ripping his new beyblades down the hallway. She needed to let him know now before Daniel turned up next week and she realised she’d forgotten to warn him. The Captain didn’t really do well with anything out of routine, but she’d found if he had some warning then he could manage. Even if managing was just, disappearing for the day.
She found him in the kitchen, reading the paper that Mike always left out for everyone each morning. Julian was listening to the radio, but she decided to risk it anyway and ask with him here.
“Captain?” Alison asked gently, not wanting to startle him.
He glanced up, straightening from where he’d been leaning over the table. “Alison. How can I help?”
“Oh, no it’s um- you know those boxes in your room?” There was no point in trying to ease him into it, better to be direct.
His expression changed slightly, tighter and wary. “Yes. What of them?”
“Well, I met this guy at the bootsale today. He works at the museum down the road, looks at letters and documents and photos of soldiers in the war and I said I’d give him those to look through.” She told him, gesturing a little with her hands as his expression didn’t change. He stayed silent, and so she kept going. “They get put onto the internet if he can’t find any family left, immortalised.”
He stared at her for a few moments, clearly trying to work out how to say what he wanted to say. “Well. I er- I really don’t think- Is that needed? There are um- sensitive! Sensitive topics discussed in some of those letters. Things that were private. Not for anyone’s eyes other than the recipient of the letter.”
Alison knew dangerous territory when she saw it with the Captain. Anything involving too much emotion and he shut down. Treading carefully was key, and she spoke gently. “I think that’s sort of the point, Cap. He tells the stories of people who can’t tell it themselves. I think it’s rather sweet.”
Julian hummed from his seat by the radio. “Might be some saucy entanglements to be uncovered.”
Before the Captain could react in outrage, Alison spoke up again and ignored Julian’s comment. “If you want I can go through them first. If there’s names you’d rather keep here with us. Or anything of yours.”
That only seemed to panic him more, and the Captain went hard in the other direction, his hesitation switching to rejection. “No, no. Send them, it’s fine.”
Alison glanced at Julian, and then back at the Captain. “If you’re sure…”
He made a weird noise, and then cleared his throat. “It’s fine. Send them off to this chap. They’re only gathering dust in my room, it’s not like I can get them out and read them.”
“Well, I can get them out for you and put the ones you want on the desk-” Alison started to say.
The Captain interrupted quickly, starting to walk away from them. “No, no. Don’t trouble yourself with that, I doubt there’s anything of value to me in there anyway. Send them.”
He disappeared out the wall, and Alison shared a quick look with Julian.
“There’s definitely something in there.” Julian said.
“Agreed.”
- .... . -.-- / --. .- -.--
It was a few months after the boxes were delivered that Alison’s phone started buzzing. At first she frowned at it, wondering who the hell ‘Daniel’ was. But then it dawned, and excitement surged up in her chest.
Answering the phone, Alison tried to find a quiet spot away from the ghosts. “Oh, hi Daniel!”
“Hello, Alison! Is now a good time?”
Alison glanced around the room, finding it free for now. “Um, yeah sure. Did you get the box? We had to leave it with the lady on reception and I’ve been worrying ever since that it didn’t reach you”
Daniel laughed. “Oh no, no, I did. Yeah, it’s been such a treasure of information I’ve been connecting all sorts of dots with other documents we’ve already got. Button House has been sort of like the missing piece and it’s kept me very busy. I’ve actually collated a few finalised files already. Started with the CO of the place. He was a really good Captain by all accounts, ran a smooth ship. You can tell from the letters of the soldiers stationed there - it’s free and open. Some of the tighter nastier blokes who ran places like this you end up with letters with no life in them for fear of getting ridiculed but this… it’s so full of stories. Sorry, I ran off on a tangent. I’m calling to ask if you want the digital files?”
Alison grinned at her phone as she wandered around the room. “Yes please! Yeah. That would be great. Who have you got so far?”
“Perfect! I’ve got the Captain - I figured you’d be interested in him with the house history?” Daniel said.
Alison had to control her celebration to not sound too crazy keen. “Oh yeah absolutely.”
“Yeah, and then I did some digging around his name and the people he interacted with the most and found out some stuff - I won’t tell you it’s… it’s a story to be told itself. The other file I’ll send is around his Lieutenant, Havers. Though he did make it to Major after he left Button House.”
Alison hummed, glancing out the window. “Havers. Okay, that’s-”
“Havers?” The voice of the Captain was unexpected, and she wheeled round to face him. The vulnerable expression of hope took her off guard, and she stared at him for a second too long.
Alison held up a finger for him to wait, though he kept coming closer to stand within earshot of the voice on the other end of the phone. “That’s perfect. Will you email them?”
Daniel hummed at the end of the phone. “That I will. They’re quite big files but shouldn’t take long to get them across to you. If you wouldn’t mind checking you're happy with how I’ve credited the house as a source and then I can get everything uploaded to the database without bothering you. Are you happy for us to keep the physical copies for the museum?”
Alison looked at the Captain, and he hesitated a moment, before nodding slowly. “Yeah, that's no worries. Uh, yeah that’s alright you can keep them.”
“Perfect, thank you Alison. I think they’ll be really important for people to see. There’s one piece from this story that I’m definitely going to display, it’s item 606 in the file I’ll send over on Havers and 1212 in the Captain’s file. There’s crossover so, each person has the same document, it's just ordered differently.” Daniel told her. “Have tissues ready. Their story is quite something.”
The Captain had an unreadable expression as he stood there listening, his gaze unfocused towards a random spot on the floor.
Alison kept her gaze on him as she said her goodbyes to Daniel, pocketing the phone.
He didn’t move, and it was only because Pat, Robin, and Fanny came bundling into the room that the spell that had overtaken him broke, and the Captain straightened up.
“What’s going on in here then?” Pat asked cheerily, though his gaze lingered on the Captain, a concerned exchange between him and Alison.
Alison shook her head, trying to avoid anyone questioning the Captain too deeply. “Uh, I just got off the phone with the guy from the bootsale.”
“Oh, Daniel! The northern lad?” Pat asked, standing close to the Captain.
Alison nodded, crossing her arms. “Yeah, yeah. He’s sending me some files, so I was about to go get the laptop.”
“We watch moonah landing?” Robin asked. Fanny huffed.
“Maybe later. I’m going to look at these first.” Alison said.
- .... . -.-- / --. .- -.--
It was inevitable that she ended up with a convoy of ghosts, and while she wanted to give the Captain the space and privacy to look at this on his own - he wasn’t voicing any complaints about having company. Actually, he hadn’t said a word since he’d uttered Havers name, and Alison didn’t know if it was best to just look now or wait and give him some time to process whatever it was he was processing.
Dumping the laptop onto the coffee table in front of the sofa, Alison loaded up her emails.
“It’s not come through yet so, you lot might be waiting a while.” Alison said slowly, glancing at the Captain.
He still said nothing.
Pat circled between concerned glances at the Captain, then the laptop, then Alison, and back again.
“Well why is it taking so long?” Fanny demanded, peering at the laptop.
Alison sighed, “It’s a big file so- oh no there they are.”
The inbox lit up, two files listed. Captain James [REDACTED] , Button House. Major Anthony Havers, Button House. There was a small message from Daniel explaining that both files held quite a few of the same documents but were adjusted to the individuals. She hovered over the Captain’s file, glancing up at him.
“Ready?” She asked him.
The Captain clenched his jaw, and the swagger stick spun through his hands at an alarmingly rapid rate. But he nodded stiffly.
“Did you want to see what Daniel is going to display first?” Alison asked quietly, grateful that the other three were being respectful enough not to talk over her.
The Captain cleared his throat, adjusted his tie, and then nodded again. “Yes. Please.”
She opened the file.
19th August 1941
It has been some months now on the front line, fighting away from home. I’d needed it, to get away. Button House had become more dangerous than the Jerry, for me anyway. If I’d stayed longer, well. It would have been trouble for not only myself (a hazard I could have dealt with), but for him too.
I can only write about him here, in this little notebook that will either be buried in a drawer years from now or will be buried with me in the field of war. Either way the only time anyone will read it will be when I am long gone to avoid bearing the consequences.
Regardless, I love him. I have loved him since the moment we met, and the only way to keep him safe from my affection was to leave. Lord, it broke me to leave him but I had to. We never spoke about our secret, never touched if there was an inkling of risk at being seen but. What we did have… I knew it was deeper than a passing fancy. It wasn’t nothing. It was dangerous and beautiful and I refused to allow such a lovely man to reap the consequences if we had continued.
I wanted him too much. Each day became harder and harder to resist greeting with a kiss, harder and harder to not follow him to his room each night. He was far better with restraint - though I knew he wanted more, he was strong enough to maintain that professional distance. I was the one who continued to cross the line… and I couldn’t have him.
Hence my station here in North Africa. That’s not to say I didn’t want to fight for my country, but the distance was required to keep him safe. To keep Britain safe and to keep him safe are my only two interests. I’m glad it’s me here too. War… he is too good for this.
One day, when all this is over, I’ll see him again. Perhaps one day I’ll see him across the room and I’ll be able to greet him with a smile and a kiss. For now I’ll settle with kissing his portrait goodnight - it’s hidden in my cigarette case. Another danger, but one I’m willing to risk.
Goodnight, James my love. I hope you think of me as I think of you.
Alison blinked away her tears, and she turned to the Captain.
“Oh, Cap.”
The Captain stood frozen, his gaze swimming with unshed tears. He turned, and within a moment he had marched out of the room and through the front wall without a word.
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