Chapter Text
It's 1 in the morning, and you're really fucking tired after your closing shift at the cafe. There's no food in the apartment, except Peridots snack food stash, which you usually wouldn't mind considering you don't eat much when you’re not high lately, but Steven is going to need food for school tomorrow.
You wish you could afford to send him to a private school, like the one his friend Connie goes to, but you don't make enough money working full time at the coffee shop and lifeguarding at the local pool during the summer, which is barely enough to pay for food and rent, you yourself usually just forego the former. Peridot makes some money freelance computer coding but she doesn't help you out all that much because most of her money goes to video games and the classes she takes at the local community college. Jasper works nights as security at a the Diamond club downtown and it helps you cover rent. You don't like that she lives with you but you need the money if you want to stay in your apartment so you don't have much of a choice. You don't like that Steven has to be around her and selfishly you don't like that you have to be around her either, but it’s what you have to do for now. You've been talking with Pearl about moving Steven back in with her Amethyst and Garnet but as of now there's not enough room in their apartment and they themselves have been low on money since Rose died. Steven stays there as much as possible as one of them is usually home to be with him so he doesn't have to be alone, and also Jasper isn't there.
You never leave him alone with her, even if you have to take him with you when you have work. Jasper has a temper, and you know for a fact that she's not above hurting Steven, the few bruises and one black eye that haunt your sleep are enough to prove that. You're only out now because you know that Peridot is there. She may be a bratty pain in the ass, she's the youngest of you, only eighteen, but if there's one thing she cares about besides video games, it's Steven.
You walk quickly down the street, your bare feet cold on the dirty concrete. Pearl is always telling you that you need to wear shoes but you ignore her. Of course you do wear them when you have to but you never liked shoes, and you don't like being told what to do either. You've spent too much of your life being controlled
As you walk down the empty sidewalk you watch the people around you out of the corner of your eyes. You've gotten good at that, watching people. They're mostly drunks smoking outside the bar down the street and yelling obnoxiously to each other but you still keep your distance.
When you reach the Stop & Shop you adjust your bag on your shoulder and walk through the sliding doors. Under the flickering fluorescent lights everything looks unreal. The grocery store is vacant and you grab a basket from beside one of the check out stations.
You walk farther into the store, looking over the shelves of food for what you need. You grab a carton of milk and some sugary cereal for Steven's breakfast. You also get pancake mix and some frozen sausage and eggs, along with some bread, peanut butter and jelly, and some of the gummies that Steven likes for his lunch.
On your way out you stop at the ice cream freezer and stare in through the smudged glass. You open the door and are hit with a wave of cold air that makes you shiver as you lean down, bracing one hand against your skinny bare knees and the other on the door handle. You scan the rows of off brand ice cream until you find the one you're looking for, cat shaped ice cream sandwiches called Cookie Cats. You grab a box off the shelf and drop it into the basket. They're kind of expensive but Steven loves them.
You head up to the only open register and check out in silence. When you walk back out through the sliding doors you check your phone for the time and it shows you that it's 1:15 am. You have some time to sit outside before Jasper gets up to go to work so you walk down the street to the alley behind the bar and drop your cheap plastic bags of food to the ground. You dig a cigarette out of your bag and slide to the ground, pressing a cheap blue plastic lighter you got from the gas station to the end until it lights.
You take a drag and let the smoke out, watching it curl and disappear into the air. You never actually inhale the smoke, just in and out. It's the action that calms you, not the drug. When your cigarette is burnt to the filter you toss it to the ground and push yourself up.
Your walk home is silent except for the sound of your bare feet hitting the pavement and the rustling of the plastic bags of groceries in your hands. When you reach your apartment building you walk up the dirty carpeted steps and down the hallway to your door. You dig your key out of your bag and turn it in the lock, pushing through the door and closing it behind you with your hip.
Inside everything is dark except for a dim light coming from one of the rooms down the hallway. You set the groceries on the counter, not bothering to put any of them in the fridge since its so cold in the apartment, and walk down the hallway.
You stop at the small bedroom where the light is coming from and walk in without knocking. Peridot sits with her face close to her computer, muttering and cursing under her breath. There's quiet, unintelligible noises coming from a pair of headphones that are pressed down over her pale blond hair and she's using one hand to control the mouse while the other digs into a bag of knock off Doritos that you know for a fact are stale.
You walk over and pull the headphones off her ears. She jumps and glares up at you, "what the hell, I was in the middle of a quest."
"Well pause it" you say.
She glares at you through her big round glasses but pauses the game before turning back to look at you. "What do you want?"
"I wanted to make sure Steven was okay."
"Yeah, he's asleep in his room, why?"
"You know why."
She groans and rolls her eyes, "would you stop being so paranoid, Jaspers not going to do anything."
"You don't know that."
"Look" she says, turning her computer chair so that she faces you, "I know you don't like her, I don't blame you, but she's not going to do anything to him, honestly I doubt she cares enough to."
You sigh and drop down on her bed. Something pokes you in the leg and you move to the side to see a power strip full of cords under the green alien sheets.
"Don't touch that, my whole system is connected to that" Peridot says, grabbing it and pushing it to the other side of the bed.
You settle back on the bed and run a hand through your dark blue hair, sighing. "I'm so tired" you say, looking down at where your bare feet sit on the dirty carpet.
"Then sleep" Peridot says, like it's that easy.
You laugh and shake your head, "I'd love to."
"Whatever, I don't get why you don't just sleep during the day" Peridot says.
"Because I have work at the pool" you reply.
"Well then quit"
You laugh again, this one almost genuine, "yeah, I'll just do that, and we can get kicked out of this place for defaulting on rent."
"Look, you need to stop stressing so much and get some sleep" Peridot says.
"Says the girl who freaks out when I touch anything on your side of the room"
"My job is complicated, if one thing goes wrong the whole project could be compromised" she says defensively
"Whatever, I'm going to bed" you say, standing and crossing to your side of the room
You pull off your skirt and change into an oversized t-shirt, dropping down in bed and curling up under the blanket.
"Can you turn the volume down?" you ask.
"No, I need to hear what the other players are saying."
You roll your eyes and roll over so your back is facing her, "whatever, goodnight."
She doesn't respond, already back to playing her game
You close your eyes and to the distant sound of Peridot's game you fall asleep for the first time in days.