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Namjoon watched with a heavy heart as Yoongi sat across the table from him, phone in hand and thumbs swiftly tapping against keys. There was no question that Jimin was on the receiving end of Yoongi’s texts, simply because of the beautiful gummy grin that was plastered all over his face. Normally, that smile would have Namjoon mirroring with one of his own, the bright intensity of his happiness lighting up the dark corners of his mind, though now it only left a bitter taste in his mouth.
He sighed at the light that danced behind Yoongi’s eyes, as it was just further proof that Namjoon didn’t need; it was only proof that the mere thought of Park Jimin seemed to stir every star, every galaxy within him in a way that seemed to illuminate him from the inside out. And the only reason Namjoon knew that gaze so well was only due to the fact that he had witnessed it so many times in their previous lives- the only difference being that it was always he who was on the receiving end of those looks.
Yoongi was blessed with the bliss of not having any recollection of their past lives, and it had been that way every time they met. Namjoon, on the other hand, remembered every detail. Every story, every line, every word that he ever spoke was etched between the spaces of his ribs and haunted him throughout the dead of nights. There were times that Namjoon had tried to explain their past experiences, their past stories and their past love, but Yoongi always gave him a wave of his hand with an excuse that he was too deep. It eventually made Namjoon smile, to hear the way he would never believe their millennia together, though the loneliness of that knowledge made it somewhat painful.
And years like these were the worst.
Namjoon had found that regardless of where he went, who he was and what he did, Yoongi eventually still wound up in his life. Sometimes he was too late, with Namjoon’s hair a sleek silver from age, or Yoongi’s body frail with disease. Sometimes he showed up just in time, with just enough years for them to rebuild their relationship along with their family. Regardless of their situation, Namjoon loved him more and more each time, his love only expanding with the knowledge of their years prior.
“You really love him, don’t you?” Namjoon finally asked, only to pull himself away from his thoughts and ensure that the pain that laid deep in his gut was still there. “You’re really in love with him?”
It hadn’t gone unnoticed to Namjoon that their more recent years had become increasingly difficult, as Yoongi had found interest in other people besides him. And it wasn’t abnormal for it to happen from time to time either, except he always came back to Namjoon even if he made a few pit stops along the way. It hurt in a new way entirely though, as he watched Yoongi fall so desperately in love with another man. For a few years, he tried to keep himself from worrying as their story would always take different twists and turns; that didn’t help the rot that twisted at Namjoon’s heart, daring to tear him up from the inside while Yoongi spoke of dedicating his life to a boy he’d only just met a few years ago instead of the one that fought for him in generations before.
Yoongi finally looked up, tucking his phone in his pocket before allowing himself to answer with a nod. “I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”
Namjoon forced himself to smile through the manner in which his heart shattered somewhere in his chest, his head dropping as he chuckled a low, hollow laugh only to please the boy he so desperately loved in front of him. The boy that he loved regardless of the time or place, of the year or the date, had drifted so far away that he was willing to dedicate his life to another man. And it wouldn’t have bothered him, except for the tone that Yoongi used, which was only called for in times that he was deadly serious and stubbornly unwilling to move. He was in love with Park Jimin, who was in love with him and proclaimed it often. There was nothing he could do, besides meet his gaze from across the table, his grin faded while he realized he was having to let go of Yoongi for the first time in any of his lives.
“As long as he makes you happy. That’s all I care about.” He muttered, watching as the blonde nodding his head in response, a thin thank you falling from his lips before he again picked up his phone and forgot the love sick boy across from him. This should have been seen miles away, as nothing lasted forever and Namjoon couldn’t keep such a brilliant boy to himself through every millennia the world knew.
But as long as he was happy, Namjoon would throw it all away.