Chapter Text
Shen Qingqiu was gripping his fan tight, uncomfortable as he walked in the streets of the Red Light District like a convicted man. He wasn’t prejudiced against brothel workers, of course! As a modern man, he didn’t have many of the typical ancient (fantasy) sensibilities and rigid morals, but still!!
He was being forced to go to a brothel, lest he lost points for being OOC. Shen Yuan had been a virgin in his past life, for fucks’ sake! He thought his first time would be with a sweet young lady his age after years of dating, not whatever awaits for him in a house of please.
“Whoa, A-Jiu is so tense! Those brainless martial siblings are giving you a hard time again? Come here, this Meihua will make you relax in no time~”
Taking a deed breath, Shen Qingqiu closed his eyes and accepted his fate.
The young woman in twin buns, Meihua, then kept massaging his shoulders as she chatted, “Did you know the Pei Sect is in shambles?? They’re trying to keep it quiet, but the young Sect Leader are emptying the coffers trying to satisfy the wishes of his new rogue lover. Some people even say she’s a succubi or fox demoness in disguise.”
Another young lady in a braid added, “Oh, I heard about it! He even expelled his eldest son from the sect for speaking up against her, and the boy used to be his favorite! Demon apparitions had also become more common in the region.”
Turned out the scum villain had a spy network in the brothel, and it wasn’t OOC to come without taking their usual services.
“Really? This master will look into it, thank you.”
Meihua gave a sigh, “A-Jiu is too good, going to help that shameless people after the Sect Leader tried to blackmail you into marrying his lazy ugly daughter.”
“It’s good to collect favors from political figures.” Shen Qingqiu bullshitted wisely, having no idea about the relevance of that sect.
“True, A-Jiu is so smart!” She massaged his scalp next, and Shen Qingqiu melted.
In the end, no one in the Warm Red Pavilion made a move to get into his pants.
Shen Qingqiu gave out an internal relieved sigh.
When Shen Qingqiu got home, he got jumpscared by the protagonist at the doorstep, who quickly scanned him up and down before lowering his eyes demurely. “Oh, Binghe! How are you?”
“Welcome home, Shizun, this Binghe is well, thank you. This disciple was waiting for us to eat” Oh damn, the mission was so sudden and absurd that Shen Qingqiu completely forgot to tell his little roommate he would arrive late.
Shen Qingqiu was still getting used to living with another person again after years of only sharing his apartment with action figures and posters of Luo Binghe.
At least his little bun didn’t ask where he was, Binghe didn’t feel that comfortable with him yet.
“Did Shizun change his perfume? He’s smelling pretty flowery now.”
Way to say he smelled like courtesans, little brat!
“No, this master was just testing some new perfumes down the mountain.” But really, he’s an unmarried adult man, not a teenager coming back late reeking of alcohol! Protagonist, you can’t human stick him for apparently being a sad bitchless guy who needs to pay for pleasure!
He’s going to ignore that, with the Scum Villain’s face and rank, he could get nearly every woman he set his eyes upon, Shen Jiu had been akin to a monk in terms of sex life, and Shen Yuan knew all the women who were worth it belonged to the protagonist.
Luo Binghe hummed. “Oh, this disciple sees. Did Shizun also eat in the city? Will he still want Binghe’s cooking?”
He had indeed eaten quite a few snacks in the Pavilion, but “This master will always want Binghe’s cooking!”
That made his sulky little bun finally brighten up and offer him a shining smile. “Really? This Binghe is honored!”
There was a man in his forties next to a too-young courtesan in training in the middle of the first floor of the Warm Red Pavilion. He was too close for Shen Qingqiu’s liking, wasn’t there rules against that??
Was that how people saw his relationship with Ning Yingying?
Shen Qingqiu was about to get up and save the girl when the lady at his side followed his gaze before touching his shoulder. She huffing a laugh and saying, “A-Jiu doesn’t have to worry, that man is just a cut-sleeve that likes to come here for the music, he was a daughter the age of that girl so he also likes to look after her.”
That made Shen Qingqiu look better at the scene and indeed, it looked just like a doting father with his child.
That made him embarrassed for almost making a scene, but the lady quickly took notice of his mood and distracted him.
That memory was tucked to the back of his mind.
With OOC finally unlocked, Shen Qingqiu was determined to change the plot.
The scum villain was only given in a silver platter because everyone hated him (except for Yue Qingyuan, and see where that led him). Turning the original goods’ pitch black reputation was of vital importance, so even if Shen Qingqiu wanted to spit blood he had to cover for every one of the scum villain’s misdeeds.
He tried to make friends with peak lords and peers, gave a raise to the hallmasters in Qing Jing and allowed for more free time among everyone in the peak for them to focus on their own projects and de-stress.
And then… There was Luo Binghe.
Of course Shen Qingqiu spoiled him rotten, but also… The Immortal Alliance Conference loomed over the horizon.
It might be scummy (ha) of him, but the white lotus was so very gullible, as exemplified by the Skinner Mission where even almost killing him by throwing the demon at his direction Luo Binghe could still do wild mental gymnastics to paint his teacher in the best light possible, still looking at him like he hung the moon in the sky.
Years of beating? That’s called training! His Shizun had just really high expectations of him, trust, so it was no surprise if Shen Qingqiu was a little harsher with Luo Binghe compared to the other disciples.
Shen Qingqiu would be a fool to not take advantage of this opportunity!
(All possible guilt was quickly tucked away deep into his mind, he could mull it over when his survival was guaranteed—or preferably not at all.)
If Luo Binghe was ready to throw his life away in the name of Shen Qingqiu, like a scrawny little dog that never knew love or daily steady food, what was a few years of intense training in a special environment?? (He pointedly ignored how hellish it was down there for the protagonist in the webnovel. In the end, he survived! All’s well that ends well, right? Right? Shen Qingqiu surely wouldn’t have his dreams haunted after completing that plot mission. It was all the System’s fault! Airplane’s fault, even!)
Just to test the waters, Shen Qingqiu did it again, in a less obvious way this time. He put Luo Binghe’s life in apparent danger (which was actually non existent of course) just to see him bounce back like nothing had happened.
A guilty ache gnawed at his stomach. He hadn’t hurt the white lotus, but it still must have been very scary for the little bun.
Afterwards, Shen Qingqiu caressed Luo Binghe’s hair, his heart growing all gushy at the way Luo Binghe inclined his head and inched closer, silently asking for more. Cute puppy behavior. The poor thing must be truly touch starved, after his mother was gone and all the bullying, to even accept his scum master’s mockery of affections.
The white lotus deserved someone who took care of him.
“Here, Binghe, this master bought this new hair oil that is good for curls.”
Luo Binghe clasped hands above his mouth. “Shizun! Such an expensive thing—This lowly disciple doesn’t deserve—”
“Hush, stop badmouthing my disciple, won’t you?” He put a finger on Luo Binghe’s mouth to silence him. “How did you even know this brand? Oh, no matter.”
Shen Qingqiu carefully washed Luo Binghe’s hair.
“What does Binghe normally use for his hair? This master doesn’t smell the oils that this master usually makes use of.”
“Rice water.”
Shen Qingqiu winced.
Luo Binghe blinked. “My mom taught me that, but if Shizun doesn’t want his rice water to be used for such a thing…”
“What? Binghe is free to do anything he wishes. This master just thinks there’s better products out there.”
Shen Qingqiu couldn’t even argue Luo Binghe was in need of it because the protagonist’s hair was always lustrous and the picture of vitality!
Shen Qingqiu scratched Luo Binghe’s scalp a little with his elegant short nails.
[+200 Satisfaction Points!]
Seeing the little bun so happy made the master relieved, but at the same time he felt even more of a sham.
Your master is a terrible man, Binghe! No amount of apologies would be enough!! Don’t sell yourself so short!!
At the same time, Shen Qingqiu prayed Luo Binghe would always accept him despite his shortcomings and bad deeds, he was counting on it.
Really, in a way he was worse than the original.
Shen Qingqiu ensured that female disciples were to never enter his house alone, unless accompanied by a male martial brother, as he knew Ning Yingying would otherwise sometimes drop by the Bamboo House unprompted to ask if he needed any help, try and organize things (though Luo Binghe shooed her from that after he started living with Shen Qingqiu), or simply to chat about her day.
Talk about impropriety, young lady! Had no one taught her how to protect herself from suspicious men?? It was no wonder people suspected he was preying on his young disciple.
Ning Yingying was distressed at the news. “Shizun, please don’t ban Ying-er!! Ying-er is sorry about breaking your vase!! And your teacup!! And your fan—”
She threw herself at her master, but at the corner of Shen Qingqiu’s eye he saw Luo Binghe’s somber face. His white lotus had just arrived from errands and bore holes with his eyes on Shen Qingqiu.
Shen Qingqiu shushed her. “It’s for your own good.”
At this turn of events, Luo Binghe seemed quite… satisfied? Oh, now he would have more time with Ning Yingying now that she wouldn’t be pestering Shen Qingqiu, and now she had to ask someone to accompany her to the Bamboo House, so who better to pick than Binghe?
Patting himself on the back mentally, Shen Qingqiu took a sip of his tea.
However, just not being seen alone with little girls anymore wasn’t enough! They could still claim it happened in the past and then later he tried to cover it up, and there was also the his famous outings to brothels…
How could one even hope to come out as a white lotus reputation after all of that?? Shen Qingqiu would have to have been a monk to not touch all those beauties after so much time in the houses of sin.
While Shen Qingqiu was despairing inside walking the Qiong Ding gardens for another Peak Lord Meeting, he caught sight of two disciples making out in a corner.
An elder appeared, rolling his eyes as he shouted at the two young men to go back to their duties.
The gay man in the brothel flashed through his mind.
A monk.
Or a gay man.
That’s it!! The answer to all his problems!
“Shizun seems to be in good spirits today, did something happen?” Luo Binghe asked with a large smile. His little bun put down some pork buns as snacks in the low table Shen Qingqiu was at pretending to read reports while plotting to save his life.
Shen Qingqiu elegantly devoured one of the buns, letting out a delighted little moan by accident then pretending it didn’t happen. Luo Binghe was a dear and always ignored such unbefitting things.
“Nothing, this master this realized something. Oh right, Binghe, you don’t need to take my dinner tonight, this master is going down the mountain. Alone.” It was necessary to stress the last part, so Binghe wouldn’t ask to go with him or follow after him. Dear lord, the scandal it would be!! He could already imagine the gossip about a degenerate master corrupting his pure, earnest disciple.
Luo Binghe’s face fell, but he tried to cover it up with a strained rise to the corner of his lips. “This disciple understands. May this one ask where Shizun will go?”
He bopped the white lotus’ nose, a little smirk worming his way to his face.
A place you’re still too young to go.
If he said that, of course a teenager would be even more eager to go!
“Just some little business in the town at the foot of the sect.”
Luo Binghe pouted, but complied.
“A-Jiu!! It was about time you came back!” The well dressed auntie greeted him sweetly with a hug.
It was one of the few uncomfortable situations where he felt guilty for stealing the Original Goods’ body. He supposed even the worst criminals had people they genuinely cared about. It didn’t take away from all the suffering he made Luo Binghe endure, but it turned him more human in Shen Qingqiu’s mind rather than a one dimensional villain.
“I’m thinking on a new song. And I would like some help.”
“Oh?”
He would perform a song in the brothel (also dance, that’s pretty gay, right?) together with the ladies!
After the practice they cooled off. It was an interesting night, the ladies there were very fun and knowledgeable about the arts and literature and trashy books, and he didn’t have to put up that much of his poser peak lord facade around them.
Shen Qingqiu came back smelling faintly of sweet flowery perfume, and Luo Binghe looked like a wronged dutiful wife receiving back her scoundrel of a husband. He suppressed a laugh, his disciple could be so silly sometimes!
He couldn’t just reveal to the world his spy network or weird friendship with prostitutes, so the cover story was: Shen Qingqiu just visited them for intellectual entertainment and to hear the music. And he couldn’t possibly do anything more to the workers because he was a cut-sleeve, only interested in men but too thin faced to search for male nude models.
“Here Shizun, this disciple made you lotus buns.” Too busy plotting, Shen Qingqiu absentmindedly took a bite from the buns filled with lotus seed paste on the white lotus’ hands, at certain point even almost biting the poor disciple’s hand off! Luo Binghe wheezed and Shen Qingqiu noticed what he was doing, uh there was even a trace of saliva in the white lotus’ hands. Ha, talk about embarrassing! That’s not how a proper master cultivation should eat!
Anyway, his plan was infallible.
What more did gay people do again? Shen Qingqiu thought of his past life and some movies.
Oh right, have a female friend! Some gay guys could even touch a woman’s boob and not get flogged by it, but aside from Shen Qingqiu’s personal discomfort, in this traditional setting wouldn’t allow for some of the things he remembered.
Women were surprisingly scarce in Qing Jing—someone was probably doing them all a favor and keeping the fairer sex far away from the Scum Villain—so where else could he find women in his close vicinity other than Xian Shu? Alas, men are usually forbidden in there, but a select respectful few (like Luo Binghe would be in the future and charm the prettiest flowers for his harem) were allowed in, and Shen Qingqiu was determined.
So in the next peak lord meeting he carefully kept agreeing and helping Qi Qingqi, which she immediately noticed and narrowed her perfectly manicured thin eyebrows at him.
Worry not, Shimei! Shixiong only intended to be your gay friend!
“What is your intention with all of that? You never take anyone’s side.”
“This shixiong only wants to strengthen the bonds between peak lords.” He noticed her reading a book behind the table during the meeting when Shang Qinghua babbled on about boring logistical things. “This shixiong also loves literature, we could drink and talk about our favorites.”
Strangely, Shen Qingqiu managed to find a lot of xianxia webnovels of Zhongdian in book shops from this world, aside from historical books. So even if he didn’t have the original goods’ memory to fall back on, he was still fairly well read.
At the literature mention, Qi Qingqi actually smirked. “We can meet on Zui Xian then.”
How that ended up with Shen Qingqiu out of his mind reading raunchy danmei novels and complaining about the awful plot every 5 seconds to an entertained Qi Qingqi was beyond himself. She in turn defended her favorites and took pleasure in being devil’s advocate.
It was nice letting out his hater self after being a poser all day. Plenty of his long-ass rants was done via speech to text after all, especially when his hands hurt too much for him to type reliably.
Shen Qingqiu looked at his Shimei like he was about discuss extremely serious business. “This master thinks he might be g—a cut-sleeve.”
Qi Qingqi took a sip of her wine before saying her piece just to make Shen Qingqiu on edge. Then she snorted. “Oh yeah, and what’s the news?”
“Wha—”
“After knowing Shixiong a little better, it gets obvious.” She stated simply.
Uh, Shen Qingqiu is going to consider that a win originated from his acting skills and not think about it too much.
Homosexuality never came up in the webnovel, not even as some grotesque villain caricature.
Shen Qingqiu took the opportunity in poetry class to say: “Love come come in all shapes and sizes, and everyone is also different internally, and it’s okay. So for homework you will bring poems from custleeve authors and study them.”
The disciples were a little confused, but agreed readily.
In another class about qi theory and deviations, Shen Qingqiu made an offhanded comment about himself as groundwork.
“You need to take good care of your mind, it’s important to choose the right company or the stress and heart demons will only fester, especially romantic partners, don’t be like this master.”
He heard gasps throught the class.
“Shizun’s lover treats him badly??”
“He’s not mine anymore.” Shen Qingqiu sniffs derisively.
As expected, that gossip spreads like wildfire, and in a few days even Qi Qingqi drops by to hear more about it.
The Scum Villain was already a tryhard, applying light-looking makeup (his meimei called it no-makeup makeup) every morning during the OOC Lock had been weird as hell. His appearance was already flawless, what did he want mascara and lipstick for, ah?
Wait… Wasn’t makeup pretty gay as well?
Shen Qingqiu decided to experiment a little, and even asked the help of the brothel ladies for something a little more showy to help even the average man realize he’s wearing makeup, and therefore not straight!
It was even a little fun… No, only necessary for his cover.
Luo Binghe blushed as he encountered Shen Qingqiu in front of the mirror applying a little red to his lips.
“S-Shizun?!” He chocked out.
“Ah, am I that bad?” Shen Qingqiu quickly took hold of his fan to cover his face, and smearing the light silk with lipstick, damn.
“Of course not! Shizun is the most beautiful!”
“Smooth talker, save that for the ladies” Shen Qingqiu huffs, bopping Binghe’s nose and leaving a red dot on it.
Luo Binghe frowns a little and says, “Can this disciple ask something? About ladies.”
“Go ahead.” Hoho, is this the moment he says he has a crush on Ning Yingying? The adorable thing!
“Shizun says any shape of love is acceptable, but he only talks about this Binghe with girls.”
What?
“This Binghe had a brief moment of feelings for Ning-shijie, but it’s slight compared to— Ah, this Binghe also likes men!”
ShenQingqiu.Exe not working.
Wails roiled inside his mind. What the fuck had Shen Qingqiu do to bend the protagonist?! That didn’t make any sense.
Ha, Luo Binghe was just confused because Shizun, his father figure and role model, was revealed as being gay. No need to think too deeply about it, in due time Luo Binghe would discover his stallion potential.
Seeing his disciple biting his lip nervously, the master drew him closer, caressing the soft curls.
“It’s alright, Binghe, Shizun is sorry.”
At any case, just to not trigger such conversations again, Shen Qingqiu started using gender neutral terms to refer to his disciples’ future spouses.
He just refused to accept he had warped the story so much as to bend the protagonist, imagine the indignity!
And Binghe didn’t act gay, so he was safe, right?!
Shen Qingqiu found Luo Binghe and Ming Fan in a secluded corner speaking in hushed tones, holding a flower bouquet and Ming Fan gave Luo Binghe what looked suspiciously like a love letter.
“Shizun, this disciple likes boys”
He blanched, and quickly walked away with his heartbeat on his ears.
Where did he fuck this up??
Would Binghe gather a harem of guys, then??
And Ming Fan wasn’t even pretty, how could he even qualify?
Damn, he needed a drink.
That early evening, Shen Qingqiu decided to hang out in one of Zui Xian’s private spaces with Wei Qingwei.
Two bottles in, Shen Qingqiu’s face was flushed as he complained. “Kids these days know no shame, what are two boys even doing so close alone, ah?”
Wei Qingwei gave a carefree laugh, easily gulping down his forth bottle looking barely affected, the bastard. “Heh, it’s healthy for young men to explore each other.”
Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes. Then Wei Qingwei was suddenly too close.
“Why don’t you give this shidi one chance, Shen-shixiong? I promise to treat you much better than your ex~”
NO, absolutely not!
He ran away like his robes were on fire.
That wouldn’t do, what he needed was…
“Wow, Shizun, these flowers are so pretty!” Ning Yingying’s eyes sparkled at the tasteful bouquet that Shen Qingqiu was parading in his return to the peak.
“Thank you, Yingying, one day you’ll also receive beautiful flowers from a young man your age.”
“A man??” She got even more interested. Her voice was loud. “Shizun accepted flowers from a man?!”
Luo Binghe’s Shizun senses seemed to have alerted him of Shen Qingqiu’s presence as the white lotus was quickly going over to them.
“Let me put them in water, Shizun.” Luo Binghe was staring at the flowers like they personally offended him.
Haha, so cute! Binghe was just like a son jealous his mother was seeing someone.
“This master will do it himself, thank you, Binghe.” These flowers weren’t cheap, and Binghe had a look like a puppy up to mischief.
“Hehe, Shizun always let A-Luo carry things, so Shizun must really like it.”
Shen Qingqiu decided the best way to save his own skin was to come out of the closet. Wait, wait, not like that, he wasn’t actually gay or anything, but having no attraction for the fairer sex would help explain much of his lechery rumors an horrible predator accusations, right?
The next week, during class Ning Yingying boldly brought a poem written by Shen Qingqiu himself. He held back a laugh by biting on his lip behind his fan.
Shen Qingqiu prayed all his hard work had been enough.
“Luo Binghe, become strong, dominate your demon side and then return to Qing Jing!” Shen Qingqiu was the picture of the strict master.
He stared deeply into Luo Binghe’s eyes.
“This master knows you can do it.” Please don’t kill me when you go back.
Luo Binghe jumped.