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Just one more should be okay, is what Astro thinks while they grip the blade tightly. Astro closes their eyes while the grip their thigh quickly sliding the blade over their blue soft skin, ichor starts to leak down onto their grey carpet, probably most definitely staining it.
Astro sighs quietly as the pain shoots through their leg. They gently dab at the ichor, but.. they feel it is not enough.. they want to keep cutting, to keep feeling the pain from the blade, it feels comforting and reassuring to them. Astro hesitates but cuts a few more times their thighs almost fully covered in wide, self inflicted gashes.
A few moments later after they stand up and sit on their bed feeling dull and in agony from the deep wounds. They sit staring at a wall thinking all sort of bad things about themselves, until eventually- knock knock knock.
"Astro?" a familiar voice says from the other side of the door.
Astro knows that voice.. it's Sprout probably coming to ask them, if they would like to eat dinner early to avoid getting their blanket dirty since last night, someone got their blanket stained so Astro left early not completing their meal. Astro however stays dead silent since obviously... they are in the middle of something. They slowly slide their blanket on covering the ichor that dropped out of the wounds with a few clothing items.
"Come in." Astro says with a dull tone.
Sprout opens the door and smiles closing it behind himself, and glances at Astro's blanket looking more tight then usual.
"Hello there Astro I was wondering if you would like to come to dinner early today? Me and Cosmo have everything prepared" The strawberry says with a smile on his face.
Astro glances quietly for a moment with his gentle smile and nods. They quietly follow behind Sprout going into the kitchen where Cosmo is quietly frosting some cupcakes while singing something about.. Sprout wearing a dress? No questions asked Astro sits down while Sprout hands Astro their food.
"Thank you" Astro says quietly while Sprout smiles back.
"No worries I just didn't want to see you get upset again over your blanket" The strawberry says slightly embarrassed as he panics since Cosmo set the heat up, on the oven too high AGAIN!!!!!!
Astro quietly eats their dinner trying not to focus on the burning and tearing sensation on their thighs, it's hard to not focus on it but eventually they zoned out and ate their meal. Astro looks down to adjust his blanket and ichor has spilled all over the seat of the chair they are sitting on. Of course this sends them into straight panic as they clench their fists, trying to figure out what to do... Cosmo comes over to ask a question and notices the ichor.
"ASTRO YOU'RE LEAKING ICHOR" Cosmo shouts out of panic, the strawberry immediately comes rushing over out of confusion. Sprout hesitates but wonders if this is what he thinks..
"What am I going to do.. they both know now.. Sprout already knows.. everybody is going to know now." Astro thinks to theirself.. they shut down closing their eyes shut out of panic.
"Astro.. are you okay.." Sprout asks quietly while Cosmo frowns tearing up, Cosmo doesn't like when other people are in pain, he always likes to help others making them resort to healthier mechanisms since.
"Hey.. do you want to come with me Astro to a more private spot.. Cosmo won't tell anyone, I want to help." Cosmo nods agreeing with Sprout. Astro feels tears rolling down their face as they hesitate thinking about their options.. Sit and cry and look like a child, or listen to.. Sprout the toon that stole their heart.
Astro of course chooses a mix of both and sits and cries for awhile while Cosmo pats their shoulder a few times. Eventually Astro gets up and goes with Sprout to his room. Sprout helps Astro sit down on the bed.
"I want to help you Astro.. you said you stopped doing this." Sprout says with a normal tone but obvious sadness behind his words.
Astro just sits there crying looking weak, pathetic.. and untrustworthy. They broke their promise.. they promised to never pick up a blade again, and they broke that promise. Just like how they break everyone's promises, and how they ruin everyone's lives. Sprout stands up and leaves for approximately around 30 seconds and comes back, with bandages.
"Why.. why are you being nice to me" Astro says as their blanket is covering half their face. Sprout gives them this look as to say 'you know why.'
"May I please move your blanket? I'm assuming you cut in the same area as before?" The strawberry says in this relaxing, soothing tone which is comforting. Astro hesitates but moves it own their own. Sprout glances at the deep fleshy wounds with dried and running ichor surrounding their thighs. Sprout cleans them gently in silence while Astro glances.
"He probably thinks I'm pathetic and can't take care of myself when he isn't there" Astro thinks to themself with a dead look on their face, Sprout bandages their pale blue skin while occasionaly glances at their face.
"All done, you did well Astro I'm proud of you for complying with the help this time." Sprout subtly praises, last time he tried to bandage Astro they kept refusing and making it harder for the both of them, since Astro was actively cutting during that moment.
"..Please help me back to my room.." Astro says quietly, they never ask for help.. huh how weird. Of course Sprout can't reject their request and walks quietly with them back to their room. In Astro's room Sprout helps them on to their bed. Astro glances quietly they make eye contact for about a minute in silence.
"Can you please stay. " Astro says quietly, the strawberry smiles "Anything for you Astro love." Sprout quietly jumps in next to Astro. They sit in silence for a long time until eventually Astro dozes off. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you when you needed my support" Sprout thinks to himself with a frown.
Sprout gently reaches down giving Astro's head a light kiss and starts rubbing their stomach quietly for awhile. Eventually he falls asleep too, content curled up and rubbing the soft stomach, of his lover, Astro.