Archive of Our Own

Mike was acting strange this past month. Lucas knew it, Dustin won't stop whispering to Lucas about it, and Max has been off for months now but Lucas is sure even she would point it out if she was ever around long enough to ask. It started when the tallest of their party came over to the arcade - Dustin's Idea to force the four remaining party members outside - to hang out for the first time in months with one of his ugly moping faces.

Max, for once, was also here and immediately poked at the bear fully expecting the short response she got but Lucas was confused. Apparently Mike wasn't flying out to see the Byers this spring break, "I thought your mom already bought your ticket?"

"Yeah well plans changed."

Despite Dustin's light pressing afterwards it was clear that was the end of that and everything went back to normal. Or the party's new normal which was Max watching the clock waiting for it to be long enough to leave without being cruel, Mike grumpy and snippy, and Dustin shooting Lucas worried looks.

Until today. The day before spring break, his big game.

He didn't expect to see El and Will at the front of their school.

El, or Jane truly, was wrapped up in Max who didn't look like she was believing her own eyes. And as Lucas came closer, listening to the hum of their friend group brought back to him for the first time in months, Will caught his eye. Like he had been looking for him. His face broke into a large smile, his two front teeth peeking over his bottom two like a rabbit or something. Like looking at Lucas made his day. He waved him over and Lucas hurried to their little group, met with a full force hug.

Lucas couldn't stop smiling as he felt Will pat his back in his excitement. "Byers!" They separate and Lucas realizes how much he missed the oldest of the party. Things feel warmer with him around.

"Dustin didn't think you'd make it before we had to go! Where were you?" Woah his voice got deeper. Lucas wondered if he was even aware.

"Probably with those meatheads of his." Sniped Dustin with an eyebrow raised.

"Shooting balls into laundry baskets this early?" Mike tagged on, "I can see it."

Will looked between Lucas and the other two with obvious confusion, like he didn't recognize them at all and Lucas felt hot with something - maybe shame or embarrassment - before Will settled on asking, "You play for the schools basketball team?"

Mike seemed to perk up with this confusion, "That's what I asked! And he misses a bunch of Hellfire games for them." Will and Jane both seemed lost as to what that was. "It's insane."

"Those assholes don't even like us." Dustin.

And much to his surprise Max chimed in too. "And he's been on the bench the whole year." Lucas felt torn on her joining, she didn't seem very pleased with what she said, but maybe he was hoping she wanted him on the court when she might not give a shit what he does. He misses understanding her.

"Bench?" El asks very unsure of speaking up and Will does that nose scrunch he does when he dislikes something.

"Being on the bench means I am on the team but not doing anything on the court or...at all." Lucas tries and it's unclear if El appreciates it or got him. When would she have given a shit about sports anyway?

Will looks empathetic at least. "You haven't gotten a chance to play at all?" Like it was unbelievable. At least Lucas thinks Will thinks it's unbelievable he doesn't get to play. It felt like a vote of confidence.

"Well I might, tonight's the championship game."

Mike looked offended, "Tonight?!"

"Tonight!"

"Eddie's going to be pissed Lucas!" Dustin groaned like Eddie was some ineffable force of nature and not a super senior that ran a club in a high school.

"It's not my fault it's tonight!"

"How is this even possible!" Mike asked and Max at least seemed amused at the two boys lack of knowledge on anything involving Lucas's new hobby.

"It's called a tournament. They won the last game so they play again tonight." She smiles hearing El laugh at her tone.

"What like you care about basketball?" Mike asked incredulously and Max rolled her eyes.

"Well what time is it?" Will very kindly asks, like two of the 6 of them weren't going radioactive at the thought of being forced to go.

"It's tonight at 7."

"Who's Eddie?" El asks looking between the boys.

Dustin is happy to explain, "Our DM for our campaign which is the biggest campaign ever and Lucas we need you!"

"Yeah and they don't at all." Mike tags on.

Before anyone can follow up Lucas can hear Andy yell his name from across the parking lot. Not willing to jog up to Lucas but once Andy see's Lucas turn to him does a sort of beckoning motion. It makes whatever this morning of humiliation is even more sour.

"Look they can't even bother to come up to you when you're with us."

"Just cause you're with the nerds and freaks." Dustin notes and Jane seems to get it then.

"They are mouth breathers?"

"Yes! Precisely E-Jane, Jane. They are mouth breathers." Mike smiles and Lucas realized in that moment that those two physically hadn't been near each other this whole time. Maybe time apart changed them like time together changed him and Max.

"Have you ever considered I'm tired of being a freak to everyone around me?" He's trying to pull it all back on a truth that comes too naturally. Being a loser in and of itself, because he's a nerd, isn't bad. Well it sucks because assholes too stupid to follow a rulebook look at you funny, but it's impossible to express to these people - his closest friends - how even with them there's just things they don't understand. It's an isolation that's almost crushing. He felt it going to everyone's house for the very first time. This nagging 'would these parents hate me', 'will they get mad at me being in their house', 'will they be disgusted if I sleep over', that he couldn't shake until proven otherwise. He felt it when he was still with Max and they'd hold hands just a little too long and he could feel someone watching in public. He felt it near Billy for almost a year. They don't get it. They haven't had to look over their fathers shoulder at news articles about kids his age looking like him being murdered for being near the wrong women. They didn't get threatened to be killed for liking a white guys sister.

When Lucas hears his coach yell, "SINCLAIR!" from across the way he's already made up his mind.

The "I gotta go." He tosses out feels like acid on his tongue and his whole body feels heavy.

And yet he doesn't really feel grounded as he meets the rest of his team. He can feel the annoyance rolling off of Andy at him wasting their time, he can feel this thick tension that is always there when he steps a little too far to the left for their taste. Those bombs in his locker stopped a few months back but he hasn't forgotten the hours of practice to impress them it took for it to all stop. His friends think this is easy, they think he's happy walking this tightrope with a coach who views him as a Black shoe-in rather than a person with potential. And now with Will back, Lucas can feel this strange feeling lodged in his throat, there's an open slot for Hellfire that desperately needs a fill and Will just showed up ready to fill it.

/////

After the opening assembly Lucas is caught between Mike and Dustin.

"Are you actually turning your back on us for some stupid sports game?" Dustin starts.

"I don't understand why you can't ask Eddie to move it to tomorrow. Everyone is staying in Hawkins right? We could even invite Will! He'd love it."

"Or," Mike says, "You ditch your shit game and shitty new friends and hang out with people who actually care about you."

"The only people in Hellfire who care about me is you guys, because if they did care we could postpone it to another day. The semester doesn't even end until June. We have plenty of time!"

"Unless you give a shit about finals!" Dustin counters.

"So we do it after finals!" Lucas wants to rip his hair out.

"In 2 months? No way!" Mike whines. Lucas feels his patience thinning.

"Guys it doesn't matter when, why do I have to pick some mystical date, just ask him for me."

"So you can keep pretending not to be a freak some more?" Mike again, he thinks he knows what this is about. He doesn't.

"You don't get it."

"We've all been bullied our entire lives Lucas, I think I do!" Mike says in such a way Lucas almost wants to believe him.

Lucas looked around just to make sure they were alone enough to speak this into the air, like someone would catch him if he didn't check, "I don't think you do at all! Billy didn't send you into a dresser and threaten you did he?"

Mike's face twists in confusion, "What's that got to do with anything!"

"You can't ever get it man! Not a chance in hell. Because for you being a loser is a choice. I mean. I can't stop being Black. Dustin can't stop having dysplasia. So out of all of us I don't think you get it Mike."

"Well that's just not fair."

"None of this is fair to me. But I am doing this for me, and I am asking as a friend. Please come to my game. Just once."

Dustin seemed to actually be thinking on this for once instead of firing off from the hip as they took the two tickets he gave them. Mike seemed frustrated that Lucas didn't give him something he can bark at and be in the right about. These were his friends weren't they? And he's begging them to do what? Just show up for him? He felt like an idiot.

But he still had to find Max. Maybe he could convince her?

/////

He did not. That much was clear. Maybe they were late? But the doors were supposed to close soon and he wasn't even supposed to be poking his head out but he really had hopped to see them. This past year he hasn't asked anything of any of them. He's been a good friend, and when he wasn't he's always apologized and meant it. He doesn't repeat offenses. This is all he asks. He tries to stay optimistic.

And the wait pays off! The doors open as more people file in and a smile worms it's way onto his face as two brunettes in essentially matching outfits awkwardly shuffle their way inside. Both murmuring to one another trying to see where to sit in equal parts confusion and excitement. Both his friends had posters tucked under their arms and Will ended up using his to point out a vacant spot, front row. They made it. Will and El made it to his game!

Lucas shut the door softly and went back to the rest of his team with a hummingbird where his heart used to be.

How did those two even get the tickets? Would they tell if he asked? He's surprised El even showed up. He figured if Max wasn't here she'd be with her. If one thing was clear to him, Max missed El more than anything and the feeling was definitely mutual.

He found himself not listening to anyone as he fell into line again.

Maybe it was because they're both girls.

He knows he doesn't get girls, but he likes to think he relates to the way they clump together outside bathrooms. Or giggle to each other with shared looks boys don't quite understand.

Whenever Patrick wasn't around Lucas felt off. Surrounded in a way he would never get used to. Patrick being around meant he wasn't alone with the others who just didn't get it. Both of them shared this refusal to buckle. Lucas could tell Patrick's home life sucked, he in some ways reminded Lucas of Will - not that any jock would ever want to hear that - but he found himself seeing Will in the way he carried himself. Like he was avoiding conflict over actually agreeing with the shit this team slewed half the time. On top of that, this was the first cool Black guy Lucas ever met. He was older, handsome, put together. He was actually cool. And a pretty decent player too.

The sounds of doors shutting and the final people settling in washed over him.

But Patrick couldn't be emotionally vulnerable with Lucas like girls are together because nobody wants to be what Will used to be in this town. And if he was whilst being a Black boy in Hawkins he was asking for something worse than trouble.

You can't be emotional and on the team anyhow. They bounce off one another's sheer anger with anything bent out of shape, or they spend hours talking about nothing or talking about the game. Drinking and kissing cheerleaders and making fun of one another for emotional slip ups like missing their girlfriend. Lucas didn't like these people but he needed them to like him enough to feel safer. It was exhausting always pretending and hoping it will get easier.

Last summer he thought they were so different, the whole girlhood thing. But lately he's been wondering if their outward differences have created emotional overlap in response. Maybe it was just because of how Max broke up with him. Or how he felt about that anyway. He wasn't really sure when he started thinking of women as women and not as 'an other' so strongly. It doesn't really feel like his friends have caught up to that either. Was this another way being Black forced him to age or was it their shared traumas catching up to him first? Maybe it was because the once well known douche Steve Harrington was now best friends with a total loser band kid like Robin Buckley with 0 romantic chemistry and the fact they could be friends made the idea of women less nebulous. Or it was a more recent development that left him flush in the face as Erica held it over his head.

He looked at the floor.

Liking boys was new. And maybe that changed what liking women meant to him too. Not really a default anymore but something he is aware of. He liked liking girls, he liked the idea of liking boys. One boy maybe. One waiting just outside those doors maybe-"Sinclair, are you with us? Don't freak out on us in our final hour." Jason, of course. Yeah he was here.

He nodded and Jason seemed neutral to it. A good thing. "Now let's go out there and show these guys who we are!"

The doors burst open with the sound of the band blaring. And Lucas was happy to see Will and El looking for him. He felt incredible. The two were quick to unroll their posters and hold them up for him once El pointed him out to Will.

'We <3 You Lucas!' Read El's.
'Let's Go Lucas!' Read Will's.

It was everything to him. Will and El's posters were highly decorated and the two had matching smiles and Lucas felt light.

He couldn't stop looking back at them as everyone settled down, not once that shitty singer from Nashville or whoever started a terrible rendition of the Star Spangled Banner, and not even as he sat on the bench all game. He kept sneaking glances just to find the two staring back at him half the time. He almost laughed as it seemed El tried more than once to make the opposing team miss a shot with her mind. He had his friends again.

/////

"Get in there Sinclair!"

"W-what?"

"You're subbing in! Go get off your rear and get in there!" And as he got up he could hear over the loud gymnasium Will and El go insane over it. He almost felt embarrassed, all he did was stand up.

If he thought that was a lot he wasn't ready for their reaction to him making the final point of the game.

The two gave a bone crushing hug, nearly knocking him over, before Lucas was swept up into the crowd. This had to be what being on top of the world felt like.

They won! He had made sure they won!

And his friend were right there with him the whole time.

/////

"Sinclair! You coming with us or what?" Jason barked from across the locker room. Lucas wished had he washed up faster.

Swallowing some fear down he picked his words as carefully as possible. "I would I just have some friends from out of town. Y-you probably saw them at the game?"

"Oh what, that brunette of yours a girlfriend or something? She's cute. I get it." Andy threw out as he pulled his shirt on.

Chance laughed, "She couldn't get enough of you out there." Had he been watching or something?

"I'm just surprised it's not that redhead from the start of the year." Patrick said absent minded and Lucas wanted to shut the whole conversation down. It wasn't a secret nobody here but him gave a fuck about Max and he wasn't in the mood to thread the smallest needle of defending her whilst not sounding angry.

"Not my girlfriend, Andy. But they're waiting for me."

Andy paused, mid jacket slide on, "Do we know that boy. Her brother right?"

Was that right? Technically. "Yeah, her brother." Lucas shrugged, slipping his backpack back on.

Andy seemed pleased with himself - Lucas wondered if he used his brain very often off the court, "I know that boy, freak used to live here."

Chuck seemed to be enlightened for the first time in his life with recollection, "Zombie boy! You hang out with Zombie boy, Sinclair?"

"Careful he might infect you." Paul laughed.

Lucas opened his mouth at first, maybe to defend Will. Maybe to defend himself. But bit down on that and pivoted hard. "I know his sister." It came off aloof enough.

"Well I would be careful with her anyway." Hunter teased, "Never know how that shit spreads right?" And the other boys laughed like it meant nothing to them.

Lucas nodded, "Thanks, I will."

He felt like the worst friend in the world.

/////

Lucas walked out alone, ahead of the other boys going to their own cars, to see Will and El waiting for him. Posters rolled back up, Will holding both now, as El excitedly talked about something he couldn't make out. Before he could wave them down though, the doors behind them opened with a bang. The two kids jumped at the sound and Lucas felt like time slowed. Pouring out the doors was the Hellfire club. Mike, Dustin, and his sister of all people at the front of the pack screaming excitedly. Lucas didn't move, his smile dying immediately. And it got worse, having seen the two kids with posters walk up to Mike. Their conversation was surprisingly short from what Lucas could see. And Mike walked off with Dustin and Erica for some reason.

Once Lucas remembers his feet work he walks over a bit confused but mostly glad to see they had in fact been waiting for him.

"Lucas you were amazing!" Is what he hears first from Will. He isn't even sure Will knows anything about sports now that Lucas thinks about it. But the compliment leaves his cheeks warm.

"Very bitchin'! It was very cool."

"Was I?" Lucas can't fight back a grin.

"I think so?" Will says in that sincere tone he sometimes dips into. When he really means something.

"Did it feel cool?" El follows up. And Lucas can't help but nod.

"It did. I felt amazing. Thanks for showing up by the way."

El nodded but Will frowned. "You don't have to thank us for that."

Lucas simply raised his eyebrows and Will folded his arms. But El saved them from whatever that was about to become.

"Mike gave us the tickets! We worried we would not be let in with no ID."

That somehow felt worse and better to hear at the same time.

"Mike's going to bike El home once he's back from dropping off Erica." Will says very off topic and strangely annoyed. What happened in the 12 hours between this morning and now? Maybe Mike and Will got in a fight again? He used to think that was impossible but after last summer they felt different. Mike still feels different.

"Aren't you staying with the Wheelers too?"

Will nodded, "I wanted to ask if you wanted to hang out. To celebrate?" And El looked between them like she was in on something.

Lucas thought his heart stopped beating for good. Of course he agreed.

And it didn't beat again while they chatted and waited for Mike to show up.

Nor did it beat again when Jane with sly smile - one he usually saw with Max back when things made sense before they pulled a fast one on some innocent soul - stole Will's bike "for practice" Hopping to bike home with Mike.

Nor when Will and him started walking home side by side.

It started up again when Will laughed at something he said. Whatever stupid thing he had ended up saying anyway he didn't really remember speaking. And he felt his heart return to normal when Will looked ahead of them finally breaking eye contact.

"I missed you. I missed everyone of course but I wanted you to know that I thought about you." And Will looked back at him with a very open expression, "I wish I knew when you joined the team you know."

Lucas wanted to look away. "It slipped my mind."

"Right. And it had nothing to do with Dustin and Mike?" Nail on the head.

Lucas shrugged, "I didn't say it had anything to do with them."

"You didn't say it didn't either. They're being jerks about it." Will huffed.

"The basketball team is full of jerks." Lucas says because it's true, and because he himself needed to say it. Maybe needed to hear himself say it too.

"You didn't join for them." Will frowns. And he isn't wrong either.

"Doesn't change the fact that they don't know me."

And Will pauses whatever frustrated comeback he had waiting to really look at Lucas. "Last summer I wanted to play with everyone despite you guys being jerks. It-it doesn't have to be because people are nice right? I mean, it's also about how it makes you feel." And when Lucas nodded Will smiled, "I think it can be nice getting to be something you usually aren't for a little."

Lucas agrees but he doesn't think that idea fits just right. "I don't want to be them. I don't think I do anyway. I like how it feels being with them, but they're scary too."

Will doesn't respond immediately so Lucas keeps going.

"You guys left, and Mike has lived in his room or Hellfire ever since, and Dustin has been obsessed over Eddie like seriously, and well. Max has been, just gone. Like a ghost or something. And I'm tired. But I don't like Andy, and I will never be respected by Jason. Or Chance, or Hunter." He sighs, looking down at his hands as they push his own bike.

"Sometimes it feels like even when I can blend in I never stop being different. Like they always see right through it all."

"Yeah." Will says far too fast and when Lucas looks up Will's cheeks flood with colour. "Well not, yeah because it's right but, I get it. I think. Not like- because of that. I'm not-" He looks sheepish at his own hands that fiddle with the hem of his flannel shirt.

It makes Lucas chuckle. "You're not Black Byers? Why didn't you tell me." And Will giggles.

"Shut up, that's not what I meant. It is but. I mean I get it." His face relaxes and Lucas passingly thinks he is beautiful. "People have always seen me as being different when I never did anything unusual, or at least to me. I don't know how to stop being seen as different."

Gay is what different means to Will. Lucas realizes this is the closest they have ever came to really talking about it.

"I...I get that too."

"What?" Will almost seems amused, looking over at Lucas with confusion, "I was trying to relate to you first?"

Lucas feels his shoulders meet his ears. "Are we not talking about the same thing right now?"

Will suddenly looks like a rug was taken out from under him. "Being different?"

"Being...different." Lucas wants so badly to say queer but what if everyone in this life has been wrong and Will has been straight. Would that make sense? Argues a logical part of his brain. Would what Will just said make any sense if he was? He decides the answer is no. "Liking boys?" He says in a small voice and Will almost turns green.

"I-I don't!"

"You don't?" Lucas doesn't mean to sound so surprised.

"Do you? W-what did you mean by 'too'? You like Max!"

Lucas feels backed into a corner, but, often the only way out is charging head first. "I like boys too." And something about how he says it disarms Will Byers entirely. Lucas feels insane watching as Will soaks in this secret of his.

They come to a stop and Will faces him properly. "You-do you mean that?"

"Yeah man, why would I say something like that for nothing?" Something 'Like that'.

Will nods more to himself than to Lucas. "Sure."

So Lucas decides to be brave again, "Do you? Like them too?"

And is rewarded with Will's face painted red. "Not like you. I mean, I do, but it's exclusive." They share something fragile held with their eye contact alone as whatever bravery Lucas had seems to have rubbed off onto Will. "I only like boys." It's said with certainty.

Lucas feels giddy.

"Have you ever...been interested in anyone?"

And Will looks away with a mix of emotions. "I think so."

Oh. "Didn't pan out?"

And Will's laugh is a bit bitter, "Not even close. I mean, I didn't expect anything but, it was worse."

"Oh." He hopes it was in Lenora. At least then it wouldn't be someone Lucas knew. And Will would move away from there someday soon back to the party or someplace cool for art school. Never having to see this guy again.

"But I think I've started to uhm," Will tries to look back at him, "I think I started liking someone new recently? Or I want to." He tries to form some words and Lucas hopes it's him. Is that bad to think? Just because Will's actually gay doesn't mean he's gay for him. "I dunno, I never thought I could move on from- from him. So I don't want to say who I like now."

"You could!" Comes out far too fast and Will freezes, "No pressure! Totally no pressure."

"Uh well," Will almost seems willing to answer before his shoulders sag, "Do you like a boy? If it's okay I ask."

Lucas almost blurts it out I like you. "I do." I like you a lot. I keep thinking about you. But I've been so caught up in the party and in Max and myself. I missed you Byers. "I really do."

"Really do? Woah! Is it, do you think it's serious?"

"A little. I knew I liked him for a few months now. But he's always been pretty." Shut up man. He wants to slap himself on the mouth. Or wrangle his own neck. Something.

Will looks intrigued now too, "Pretty? You think he's pretty?" He says it like that would be a dream come true.

"He is! Like hands down prettiest guy I've ever seen." Lucas starts walking again and watches as Will goes to follow. Bounce to his step like this conversation took a weight off his shoulders for him like it did for Lucas. And he does feel so much lighter now.

"Do you think you have a chance?" Will says quieter now, and Lucas gives it some thought. He just heard Will's trying to get over a boy he's been into seriously to like some other guy. He has no clue who either is, he doesn't even know if Will likes guys like Lucas. What if his type is something so far off from himself he never could stand a chance. And there's a nagging voice asking if Will could ever seen a Black guy as an option to begin with. The Byers aren't racist, or at least aren't practicing from what Lucas knows. But that doesn't mean anything about dating a Black boy. Kissing one. Mike isn't racist but that didn't mean that Halloween a year and a half ago didn't happen.

"I'm not sure. It's different."

"Because you're Black or because you like girls too?"

Huh. He didn't think the other was something that could make dating guys harder.

"Do you think me liking girls makes me like guys less?"

Will shrugs, "I didn't know you could like both before. Do you think you'd leave a guy to date a girl just cause she's a girl?"

Lucas is a bit frustrated. "If I did I don't think I really liked that boy very much right? I mean. Would you leave a Black boy because a white one wanted to date you?" He knows Will was being hypothetical but it felt wrong to be asked to begin with.

Will looks at least uncomfortable so now they're in similar boats.

"I don't see how it would matter. Or well." He gives himself a pause. "Are you asking if I would rather be seen with a guy who's Black or white? I think I never had to think about it like that."

"Cause you always imagined a white guy." He hates being blunt with Will but he couldn't help it.

"N-not recently." Will says, but he seems all turned around from the conversation thus far. "I don't know. I haven't really let myself think about liking guys. Not until a few months ago anyway. I mean I was so in love with...with him." So he liked a white guy but doesn't anymore. Maybe this guy was from Hawkins. And he met some cool non white guy in Lenora.

"You never thought you'd end up with anyone else before a few months ago?"

"I...I mean! Yes? I know how immature it was. He wasn't even mine. He would probably be grossed out if he knew."

"So what? If he is we'll kick his ass for you."

Will looks at Lucas like he is making a genuine decision, a serious one, and lets out a slow breath. But something he finds in Lucas's eyes makes him stand a bit straighter. "You can't kick Mike's ass."

"Oh shit?"

Mike?

Why would Mike be grossed out? He always defended Will, he wouldn't be mean about this right?

Will just sighs, "I know."

"Did he say something? I just, I can't see him being mean about this to you of all people."

Will sniffles but isn't crying and seems to draw in on himself. "He did. He said he didn't mean to be a jerk about it but I know if he knew how I felt. How much I felt. He'd be disgusted. I was mean about him and El too. It wasn't fair of me."

"But Mike and El did suck last summer. I think I helped them suck worse before you moved."

"Yeah well, I called her stupid. I didn't even really know her." He sounds ashamed and yeah that was mean but Lucas knows Will wouldn't have said it without a reason.

"Geeze Will." He aims for joking and Will is open enough to the idea that he smiles a little.

"I know. I was jealous. Everyone was growing up, I come back from...that, and everyone's dating people I don't even really know. It felt like I was just stuck being me. And, it also meant I was actually different. It wasn't just something my Dad said to me anymore."

"Wait so Mike said something about you being gay that summer?" And Will seemed to watch in real time as Lucas put the pieces together. "It's why Mike needed to find you that day, in the rain right? I never saw him like that before."

Will nodded.

"Holy shit."

"Yeah."

They walk a bit in a lull as Lucas takes it in. There's a billion excuses he has made and wants to make for Mike being an ass sometimes. But this clearly was different. Will clearly took whatever Mike said to heart. And Lucas can't help but think about how close those two used to be, especially after Will came back, to how they are now.

"Are you two okay?"

Will looks like someone shoved a lemon in his mouth.

"I don't think so."

"Well did he apologize at least?"

Will seems unsure. "I think he thinks he did. But he rarely called, and didn't send any letters after I left. It's like he saw me, really figured out I am what everyone thought and then pulled away. He-" Will steels himself, "He refused to hug me when I got here. I felt awful."

Fucks sake Wheeler. "I hope you move on from him soon." And he means it. "I think Mike has his own shit going on, because he wouldn't leave his room when you and El moved. So, I don't think he hates you. If it helps."

Will leans into his space and they brush shoulders for a second. Lucas almost stumbles over his feet when Will smiles. "It does help. So did this. I know it didn't help with your problem though."

Lucas isn't sure Will can help with some of it. "I know. I'm glad we got to talk about any of it. I haven't really talked to anyone about anything. Dustin and Mike and Max haven't...things here haven't been the same since you guys left. It's been lonely."

"I could tell."

Yeesh. "It's that bad?"

"It is." A beat passes. "Is it okay if I ask you about it?"

"Huh?"

"About being Black. I mean, I don't think we ever talk about this sort of stuff. But it's, it's you right? So like, we talked about me being...liking boys." He can't say it. "But you never talk about it. And I just wanted you to know if you ever wanted to, you can."

Oh.

"Yeah. Thanks, I meant to say. I might take you up on that."

"But not tonight?" Will guesses.

"I don't think so."

Will tries a different angle. "Were you asking if I was into not white guys too?"

And he was so he says as much.

"Did you think I wouldn't be?"

"No! No, not that. But I wasn't sure."

Will looks a little worried, "Is it because I did something or because I'm white?"

"The latter."

"Oh. Okay." And funnily enough to Lucas anyway that seems to make Will feel better.

Lucas wants to ask something else, anything to prod some more, but he can see his house coming into view now and knows they should probably wrap this up. On one hand so Erica doesn't somehow see them and come to the wrong assumption about them. And so that his parents don't see how close they are now and come to the right assumptions about him.

"Would it be okay if I tried something?" Lucas asks without really knowing what he wants.

Will smiles at the idea and agrees, "Sure, I mean what did you have in mind?"

"Hold this really fast." He ushers as he gives Will his bike and is thrilled to see Will track his every move. "Good."

"Now what?"

"Now." Lucas and Will are both surprised when Lucas kisses Will's cheek, "You ride that over to the Wheelers so I know where to come find it tomorrow."

And Will tries to speak clearly. Mouth flapping open and shut like a fish and Lucas grins like he's twelve again. He steps back from Will slow enough for Will to do anything but he stands there eyes wide and flustered.

"I'll see you tomorrow right?"

Will finally shuts his mouth and is stuck nodding as Lucas laughs. Maybe he broke him?

"Do I need to phone the Wheelers to get you or can you move?"

"I-I'm okay!" Will sounds adorable and Lucas feels warm all over. He did that.

"Good. Get home safe!"

"Mhm!" Will waves at him and Lucas waves back, forced to walk backwards until he almost trips on the curb. Will looks like he was torn between laughing and going over to help until Lucas calls out that he's okay.

Without turning back around he tries to open the door to find air.

"Saying goodnight to your boyfriend Lukey?"

He turns around with a groan as Erica smugly holds the door open. She must have stayed up waiting for him and saw the whole thing.

"Erica. You don't know what you're talking about." He hisses, looking around as he steps inside to make sure nobody heard her and her loud mouth.

"Oh Will! Goodnight Will! Do you want another kiss Will?" She mocks as he shucks his shoes off and remembers he can't smother her in her sleep.

"Shut up Erica!"

"Oh was that a new way dudes found to say goodbye or something? Please. I have eyes and ears that work."

Lucas ignored her pointedly and stomped upstairs. Finally safe in his room, he flopped on his back letting his body sink into his blanket.

He kissed Will and Will seemed to like it.

/////

Seemed to like it was an understatement. Will Byers was practically floating as he made his way back to the Wheelers house where he and El got to sleep in the basement and guest room. He quietly passed Ted's knocked out form on the couch as he crept downstairs to find the lights still on. He didn't pay much thought to it at first until he saw a bleary eyed Mike Wheeler sitting on the couch waiting for him.

"You're back!" Mike smiled and Will instantly felt a sea of emotions all at once.

"What are you doing?"

"I wanted to be first to wish you Happy Birthday. It's in like, an hour and a half." And it was shit like that that made Will's heart squeeze but he frowned.

"Did today just not happen for you or something Mike? I'm, you have been so weird and rude today and now you're what, acting like it didn't happen?"

"That's not true!"

"You blew Lucas off for some stupid campaign!"

"What like he's your boyfriend or something?"

And Will once again is pinned under Mike's words. It's not fair!

"I didn't, Will seriously I didn't mean it like that."

"How else is that suppose to come out?" Will snaps and Mike seems to understand that was once again too far.

"I was just, angry. I'm angry you didn't join us tonight and it slipped out. I mean you don't even like sports but Lucas's game was more important? Dnd was all you ever wanted to do last year!"

And that was the wrong thing to say. The humiliating thing to say really. Mike had a knack for finding his friends softest spots and poking at them with a knife. "Seriously? I wanted us to all to be together. I wanted the party together like we used to be Mike."

"Well it's not our fault Lucas ditched us for mouth breathers!" And it's clear to both boys that he doesn't even mean it but feels compelled to say it anyway. It's infuriating.

"No! No Mike! It's our fault for not meeting him where he needs us to be."

"What?"

"I-you were there for me after I came home from the Upside Down right?"

"Yeah?" It's like he can't see the connection.

"Well Lucas has shit happening to him too. So does Max. And...and so do you."

Mike looks uncomfortable. "Who told you that?" Like it's an accusation.

"Nobody? But I know it's true. And it's okay I just, we all need to try a little harder to be here for one another okay?"

"Sure." Mike says guarded and Will doesn't know what exactly to do with that.

"But you have to stop being mean because people care about you. Or because you're afraid of what they'll find." Will says tentative and like Mike might bite him for saying it. Which Mike now has a record of doing. And Mike doesn't want Will of all people to feel like he has to worry about that thing from Mike.

"I don't know why I do that." It's the closest Will thinks he will get to an apology for throwing his sexuality again in his face and he doesn't really like that. It's scary to want so badly for someone to be better. To see them slowly grow into someone you know should be a better person but choose not to be. It's worse when they seem to not even know why they don't try.

"Well figure it out Mike, because you can't." He takes a deep breath. "You can't keep hurting me because you're scared of something. It's not fair."

"I know."

"I know you don't mean it." Will starts to apologize for him and Mike can't seem to stop him from absolving him of his sins again. Like they both rely on Will to smooth this over for them both. "I know you didn't mean it then and don't mean it now."

"Max and El are hanging out tomorrow." Comes the curve ball from Mike and Will wants to cry because how is that fair. Again. "So maybe we can hang out?"

And a week ago, when Will was working on his gift for Mike, had he heard this he would be excited at the possibility.

But maybe Lucas's vulnerability gave Will new perspective. Maybe that kiss opened up the very real truth - not possibility but truth - that he didn't have to settle for the vestiges of a boy who clearly didn't exist anymore. Maybe he can figure out a future that included Mike but didn't center him.

It was oddly freeing to see Mike as a friend again. Not as a love to never be had.

So he leaned back into that free feeling he got when Lucas kissed him, the way his heart gave a juvenile jolt. And how lost in the whirlwind of crushing on someone felt when he was working at breakneck pace with El to make those posters today. He liked liking Lucas. He liked seeing Lucas in a new light. He liked walking back to the Wheelers with anticipation of Lucas coming over tomorrow to ask for his bike back, and childishly Will imagined riding on the back of his bike with his hands on Lucas's shoulders. After yo-yo'ing between hating loving someone who could never want him to soaring when Mike showed how special he was to him, Will liked this new certainty. Will liked Lucas's emotional honesty. Will also in the privacy of his mind liked seeing Lucas play a sport, he looked cool and attractive and all those other embarrassingly cheesy things Will couldn't help thinking. Like how much he wanted to kiss Lucas on the mouth.

He liked Lucas knowing he wanted to at least kiss Wills cheek, eyes so locked onto Will's own face he stumbled on his way to the door.

"I can't."

Mike seemed confused, "Why not?"

"Well maybe for a bit. But Lucas is coming over, I rode his bike home."

Mike seemed to pout at that. "What? Why did you do that?"

Will tried not to seem like a blushing teenage girl but it was a close thing, "He wanted me to get home safe, it's dark out."

"I live super close to him, you could walk home in like no time at all." Ah, Mike was jealous of something. Like those time's Will played over in his head where Mike would always sit next to Will even when someone wanted to sit there first. Like the party too Will figured, Mike was a bit possessive.

"He was just being nice. Lucas is nice."

"I know!"

"Woah."

And Mike looked embarrassed. Or caught.

"What's your issue with Lucas lately?"

"I don't like his friends, or how weird he was with you today."

"Mike."

"I know! I get it. You and him have been on me all day. I just don't like him like, leaving the party. I know he doesn't mean it like that but it feels that way. And the bike stuff, or you fighting so hard to go to his game. I lost you for months and now you're back and it's like you won't even look at me."

Will could almost laugh because looking at Mike was all he ever seemed to do until these past few months. It had been spurred on by Lucas's few letters sitting on his shelf next to the ones Dustin and the singular one Max sent rested.

Lucas had wrote about how things had been - Will now see's how much he smoothed over - but a paragraph about this older boy named Patrick really stuck with Will. It sounded so close to how Will used to think of Mike when they were younger and before Will had a word for a crush to cling to. That almost crush like idealizing.

Will had been struck upon first reading with the question of if Lucas could ever look at Will like that. Followed by horror at projecting his sexuality onto another, followed even further by the small what-if of Lucas resting his head on Will's shoulder.

Followed by another small what-if of who's hand was bigger, if they could press palm to palm and test who's fingers could curl over who's.

And now that Will spent so long trying to stamp out the urge to look at Mike here Mike was begging for it.

"I don't understand."

"I don't expect you to. I just, I miss you Will. Hawkins isn't the same without you. And I keep acting like an asshole because of how much I missed you."

"You could have wrote."

"So could you!"

"The last time I bothered you we ended up fighting Mike. I, I don't know how to guess what is okay with you anymore."

And Mike seemed caught on how to respond. Because what did he want from Will. Could he ever name it out loud? Would it matter? Mike would never be brave enough to do so and Will would never know.

But it wouldn't matter anyway.

"Can we just, be like we used to be? I miss being best friends with you Mike."

And Mike wanted to tear his skin off from the way that didn't feel like enough. But Will wanted it so he nodded.

"Cool."

////

Lucas had 0 idea as to what he was doing.

Will was in front of him smiling shy and cheeks already rosy as he waved at him from the door to the Wheelers place, Lucas waved back from the end of their lawn.

Will shut the door behind him and went to grab his bike from the open garage.

"Hey Lucas." Will is bashful.

"Hey!" And he was amazed that Will seemed to smile more at that. Maybe he thought about that peck all night too.

"I have your bike." He said obviously and it hits Lucas that this is Will's first time ever talking to someone with romantic interest in him that he liked back. Or liked enough to get so flustered about. Lucas was also probably the only person to ever kiss him that wasn't like family to him.

"Thanks! You make it back here okay?" He's aiming to lower Will's face from being a tomato to being pink, somehow just being in Will's line of sight has seemed to make him more flush.

"Mhm! Thanks."

"I hope it was okay, what I did. Did you mind?" It doesn't come off as smooth as he'd like but Will doesn't seem to notice that.

"It was more than okay! I, I didn't mind at all. Really."

"Cool. Sooooo." Lucas shoves his hands in his pockets, "It's your birthday."

"Yeah?" It's like he's hanging off every word Lucas says. Maybe Will liked being shown the boundaries first. Lucas didn't mind.

"Wanna spend it together?"

And Will nodded so hard Lucas worried his head would fall off.