Chapter Text
WAG’s of the centaurs
[15 SEPTEMBER]
Lisa: SHANE HOLLANDER!!
Cassie: We invite you to our sacred space!
Shane: What chat is this?
Lisa: It’s a WAG’s centaur group chat!
Lisa: Though I guess now we have, me, Cassie, you and Harris, so there's as many men as there are women.
Shane: What do we do in here?
Harris: Gossip about our husbands! (And in my case sadly boyfriend)
Shane: You know, you could just propose..
Cassie: I love you Shane Hollander.
Lisa: We've been trying to say that!
Harris: That’s still so fucking scary, I don’t think I could ever be that strong, though I might have to be atp.
Harris: How did Ilya, Zane and Wyatt propose?
Lisa: Was very nerdy but very cute.
Lisa: Wouldn’t really help you though I think.
Cassie: Zane proposed in an aquarium in front of my favourite type of turtles, he planned a whole thing so there was no one except for us!!
Cassie: Very cute.
Harris: Shane?
Shane: Oh.
Shane: Ilya didn’t propose.
Cassie: What do you mean?
Lisa: What?
Harris: Huh?
Shane: I proposed.
Lisa: WHAT.
Cassie: HUH.
Harris: Okay, I have to admit I assumed that as well.
Lisa: Maybe it can give you the strength to also propose, Harris.
Cassie: YEAH! And please film it I want to see.
Lisa: Story time please Shane.
Shane: So you remember the plane crash, right?
Cassie: Yeah scariest fucking moment ever.
Shane: I got really scared.
Shane: We had had a fight before that.
Lisa: Aw shit, what happened?
Cassie: you chirp all the time though??
Shane: Not even remotely close to that LOL. Asshole has become a form of endearment for us I’m pretty sure.
Shane: And fighting (On the ice) is very much foreplay.
Harris: Fuck, I see you chirp each other all the time on the ice.
Harris: Now I’m not going to be able to unsee it.
Harris: Fuck.
Lisa: THAT'S SO CUTE!!
Cassie: Continue your story…
Shane: Anyways, he called me after to tell me he was fine, I cried and shit.
Cassie: We all did, I'm pretty sure.
Harris: Yeah it was fucking traumatizing, I was on the plane.
Shane: And then, I went to the store, bought like 150 candles or something.
Shane: Electric, I didn’t want to burn the house down.
Cassie: Thats so fucking adorable STOP.
Lisa: Awww.
Shane: It’s an inside thing.
Shane: I placed them in our bedroom, and then when he got home.
Lisa: “Our bedroom” And it's the best NHL players’ bedroom…It's still insane to me that you're married and share a bedroom.
Harris: I mean, yeah?
Harris: They are married.
Shane: I got on one knee.
Shane: Got soppy and stuff, and he said yes.
Lisa: That’s so cute omg.
Cassie: It is.
Harris: So I just buy a ring and go for it?
Shane: Well, I had already bought the ring, the day after he told me he loved me in like 2017.
Cassie: Hold on?? When did you guys get together?
Shane: We don’t really know, but officially the summer of 2017.
Lisa: What do you mean officially??
Lisa: Did you say ‘I love you’ the day you got together?
Harris: Did you hook up before that? Like the all-stars game or something?
Cassie: SINCE THE ALL-STARS GAME?
Shane: No.
Shane: Since our rookie season.
Shane: The summer before actually.
Cassie: THE SUMMER BEFORE YOUR ROOKIE SEASON???
Lisa: EXCUSE ME??!!
Harris: What…
Shane: Yeah.
Shane: I didn’t know I was gay back then though…
Shane: We hooked up all the way ‘till then. With a few fallouts, only like one I think.
Shane: Though I’ve probably been in love with him way before 2017.
Cassie: That's so cute what.
Shane: I don’t know exactly when I started loving him.
Lisa: Tell us your first hookup story…
Lisa: Please.
Harris: Lisa.
Cassie: Lisa.
Shane: No, it’s fine.
Shane: It was after an ad in 2009. None of you probably know it.
Shane: I don’t know exactly when Hayes was drafted but Bood in 2014.
Shane: We had already been hooking up for 5 years by then, I now realise.
Shane: So you don't know the ad, anyways.
Lisa: Tell more please!!
Harris: I’m invested too now.
Cassie: Yes, share with the class please.
Shane: After the ad, in the showers.
Shane: We showered at the same time.
Shane: And then…
Shane: Uhh, I kind of got..hard?
Lisa: EXCUSE ME??
Cassie: SHANE HOLLANDER.
Shane: In front of him.
Harris: I have to admit he is very hot.
Harris: I can understand.
Lisa: You can’t just say that!
Cassie: Is he wrong though??
Shane: Excuse me, Harris?
Lisa: We are just appreciating the male physique.
Cassie: Yeah. He’s very hot. Objectively
Harris: Anyone with eyes can see that.
Shane: You know what. You’re right, and his skin is very soft as well.
Shane: If you were wondering.
Shane: Anyways! Then he started jerking off while looking at me.
Cassie: Hey! So that’s insane!
Lisa: I live for it though.
Shane: I left as quickly as I could, and then in the locker room he asked me my hotel room number.
Shane: For some reason I gave it. I still remember the number LOL.
Shane: It was 1410.
Lisa: The first time you had sex with him was when you were 19??
Shane: Define sex.
Cassie: Dick in hole I guess.
Lisa: CASSIE EXCUSE ME??
Harris: EXCUSE ME?
Cassie: Sometimes I wish I was a gay man.
Harris: Why in the world would you want that??
Shane: Cassie?
Shane: Anyway.
Shane: But no we just sucked each other off, in that case.
Shane: The first time we actually had sex was like 2 years later.
Cassie: Two years??
Shane: We didn’t get to see each other very often, six times a year if really lucky.
Lisa: Damn, that must have been hard.
Shane: It was, though I didn’t know I was gay back then so I still got with Rose.
Harris: Shane. Sweetheart.
Harris: you had been sleeping with a man for god knows how many years and you didn’t know you were gay…
Shane: It’s not very accepted in the hockey community, so I still wanted to try and be with a woman.
Shane: To not disappoint the world and my parents.
Harris: I know, and I’m sorry for that shit :( It’s just funny. I knew when I was like 13 because I saw a hot man.
Lisa: And then what?
Shane: Well we eventually got together.
Shane: And now I’m here with the Centaurs :)
Shane: I guess happily ever after do exist LOL