Chapter Text
“Ew! Angela! It smells like chihuahua in here!” Chanse scrunches his nose as they pile into her cramped car.
“Hey! Don’t disrespect Spork!” She shouts back.
“I’ll drive.” Shayne says, already buckling his seatbelt and checking to make sure everyone is in.
“Okay, Courtney. I’m going to count to three, alright?” Amanda says after taking shotgun. She grips Courtney’s hand with intense eye contact.
Courtney shakes their head profusely.
“One…” Amanda whispers. “Two–”
“GAAAAAAHH!!!” Courtney cries, gripping their arm. “YOU SAID THREE!”
“Yeah, well. I lied.” Amanda shrugs.
“Hit it, Shayne!” Chanse orders, and Shayne jumps in his seat. “She bombed Tommy’s car, do you think she’ll wait patiently for you to check your mirrors?!”
“These aren’t my mirrors! And the seat! Angela is so small! I need to move–”
“GOOO!” They all yell.
Their heads whip forward as the vehicle shoots backward, then they slam back to their seats as the tires screech, tracks left behind on the all-too-small Rancho Cucamonga Smosh Headquarters parking lot.
VroooOOOoooom!
“Shayne!” Amanda says. “A little faster!”
“Faster?!” He cries back. “Than this?! I’ll lose control of the car!”
“I don’t mean to alarm you…” Angela whines, “But a big black car has been chasing us for over a mile!” She squints her eyes, angry at herself for losing her last pair of car glasses.
“Shayne.” Courtney states, cradling her arm. “Switch seats with me.”
“What?!” He glances at them and they all lurch as the car swerves, but he redirects in time as an oncoming car honks.
They explain, “I always drive. You can’t do this. I’ll be better even with one arm. Get up.”
“I’ll drive while you two switch.” Amanda grips the wheel, and Shayne looks at them all in bewilderment.
They all lurch again at the sound of a BOOM!
“THEY’RE HITTING US!”
“SHAYNE, HURRY!”
“SHAYNE!”
“OKAY, OKAY!” Shayne unbuckles and army-crawls to the back of the car, Angela and Chanse grunting in pain as his elbows dig into them. Courtney maneuvers around him and slips into the driver’s seat.
She slows to 30 mph.
Amanda whips her head to Courtney. “What are you doing?!”
“Hold on, trust me," Courtney breathes, eyes glued to the next street. The black van closes the gap, inches away–
Courtney yanks the wheel to the right while slamming the throttle.
“AHHHH WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!” Chanse cries, "I'M TOO CUTE TO GO SO SOON!"
“HOLD ON!” Courtney orders as their surroundings spin in a blur…her friends scream, her newly-relocated arm cries, but she holds firm and doesn’t waver at all as a shriek escapes her own mouth. Finally, they settle as the car straightens and picks up speed.
“Is everyone okay?” Courtney asks over their shoulder.
After heavy pants, they nod their heads.
“I think we lost them.” Shayne states, glancing through the back window.
“Courtney, you are gifted,” Angela praises. “That was so impressive.”
She beams, smiling at her through the rearview. “Thanks! I always wanted to do that, do you believe?!”
“COURTNEY LOOK OUT!” Amanda cries, gripping her shoulder and pointing ahead.
Courtney jerks and turns the wheel wildly, sending the car veering into the oncoming lane as the infamous black van nearly hits them head-on.
“AHHHH!” They all cry as cars swerve away and honk angrily.
Courtney turns into an indoor parking lot, the barricade breaking off as she continues to accelerate.
Ring! Ring!
Shayne picks up to Spencer screaming, “SHE’S FOLLOWING US! SHE’S TRYING TO KILL US!”
“Turn there!” Damien’s voice cuts in, and they hear the squeaks of tires through the phone speaker as the crew’s equipment truck skids across asphalt.
“THIS IS NOT A CAR CHASE TYPE OF TRUCK!” Marcus cries.
“GUYS, WE NEED HELP!” Ian shouts.
“How are they being chased?! She’s after us right now!” Amanda asks as Courtney turns and turns and turns, crawling higher in the garage with the black van remaining close behind.
Beep, beep, beep.
Shayne scrunches his brow when he gets another call. “Uh, hold on, guys.” He taps to answer the new call.
“Shayne?! Oh, good! Guys, he picked up!” Olivia’s voice surprises him.
“Olivia?” He asks. “I thought you weren’t in today–”
“Well, I wasn’t! And I wasn’t supposed to pick up Keith and Noah, either! But I got a message from Anthony that there was an emergency at Smosh and to head over right away!”
“Wait, where is Anthony?” Shayne asks, and then cringes. “Sorry. I actually mean it, though. We haven’t seen him all day. What if he’s–”
Shayne gets another call.
For some reason, he hesitates to answer this one.
“You gonna get that?” Chanse asks.
Shayne sighs, and hits accept while holding his breath.
“...Hello, Shayne.”
Everyone clenches their jaws.
It’s her.
“You…” he spits out through gritted teeth.
“Moi.” Her sinister smile could be heard through the phone.
“WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT WITH US? IS THIS REALLY ALL JUST FOR REVENGE?!” Angela shrieks.
“It started that way, yes,” She admits. “But now…”
Boom!
SCREECH!
They all scream as the beautiful LA landscape inches closer to them. They whip their heads around to see the big van pressed up against their back bumper, and a grating metallic sound rings through their ears as Courtney grips the emergency break.
“WE’RE GETTING PUSHED TO THE EDGE!” Courtney cries.
Angela, Chanse, and Amanda pick up calls of their own to hear their friends screaming and crying.
All of their phones are bombarded with frantic Slack messages.
And none of them can think over the panic in their own minds.
“Guys!” Shayne cuts through the frenzy. “I have an idea.”