Chapter Text
“Yeah!” Shayne shouts, standing next to the Beopardy board, smiling at the cameras as they all clap in.
Angela slaps the table, unable to contain her giddy energy. The force of her attacks on the black tablecloth send the buzzers flying into the air.
“Woah, woah!” Courtney exclaims next to her, catching them.
Tommy, on Angela’s other side, throws his hands up to avoid getting whacked by a big, red button.
“Hello!” Shayne greets. “And welcome to Beopardy. I’m Shay-“
Angela claps loudly. Really loudly.
“-Yeah!” Shayne pauses to wait for her to stop.
Tommy gently tries to quiet her, to no avail.
Courtney laughs and joins in on the applause. “Yeah, Shayne!”
“I’m Shayne!” He declares.
“You’re Shayne!” Angela and Courtney chant, clapping wildly.
Tommy gently golf claps to their side.
“I’m Shayne!” He smiles at the camera with a boost of energy. “And today’s Beopardy theme is natural disasters. Um, we’re covering all of the disasters today, at least the ones that are widely known about. Definitely the ones that happen here in LA!”
“Wildfires, floods, earthquakes…” Tommy counts on his fingers.
Courtney giggles. “Shayne and I have a funny earthquake story. One time we were in a theater watching Spider-Man-“
“Another time, Courtney!” Shayne interrupts as his stomach growls for lunch that they will have to wait for after the video shoot. “We have to play this before a natural disaster hits!”
“Oh! Uh oh!” Courtney exclaims, and starts shaking while splaying her hands out.
Everyone catches on and joins in.
“Ahh! An earthquake!” Angela screams. “We’re all gonna die!”
They stop shaking and laugh.
“Um, alright. So,” Shayne continues. “Our contestants today are Tommy..."
“Hello.” Tommy nods at the camera, face stern, as Angela and Courtney clap for him.
“Angela!” Shayne proceeds.
“Hello.” Angela mocks, trying to turn her grin into Tommy’s stern expression.
“And, Courtney.”
“Hello hello hello hello hello…”
Everyone claps and chants “hello” with her.
“We have four people here today who have lived through at least one type of natural disaster, since that’s kind of a given when you live here in California.” Shayne explains. He points to the Beopardy board next to him. “Let’s check which disasters we are going to be quizzed on. We have: Shake It, that is earthquakes-“
“Boooo!” Tommy boos.
Everyone joins in on the “boos.”
Courtney gets up and shakes their butt at the camera while Angela giggles.
“-We have Twisters, that is tornadoes and hurricuriances-“
The contestants swirl around in their chairs, exclaiming: “Woo! Wee! Woah!”
“-We have Too Hot To Handle, that is wildfires and heat waves-“
They fan themselves and pant.
“-We have Soaking Wet-“
“Oop!” Courtney exclaims, and they all laugh.
“-Um…me right now…” Shayne smiles.
They all burst out into laughter.
“Uh, that is floods and tsunamis; we have Erupt, that is volcanoes; and we have Freeze, that is blizzards.”
"I'm erupting so hard right now." Angela smiles, but it quickly fades. "Cut that."
“I will not know anything from that column, Shayne.” Tommy states.
“I will not know most things from most columns.” Angela says, squinting at the board.
“Guys, we are the best people for this as Californians.” Courtney points out. “We’ve lived through or near most of these.”
“Right but I don’t know any facts about them.” Tommy responds.
“Angela and Courtney, I think you’ve both lived here the longest.” Shayne says.
“Since I was born.” Courtney answers.
“Same.” Angela adds.
“Okay, so Tommy, you Florida man, you pick first.”
“Okay. Let’s do…Soaking Wet for fifty.”
Shayne picks the card from the board and reads, “Globally, around what percentage of flood-related fatalities occur-“
Angela and Tommy buzz.
“-in low-income countries?”
“You’re not supposed to keep your hands on the buzzer.” Tommy mumbles at Angela, who does her wide-eyed shocked face when she realizes her mistake.
“Alright, let’s set up the rules right now.” Shayne says. “From now on, keep your hands on the table, and when you buzz early I will stop reading the question. Alright, but…Angela go ahead.”
“But…ninety percent.” She responds.
“That’s incorrect.” Shayne answers. “Tommy?”
“Thirty percent.”
“It is not thirty percent. Courtney?”
“Sixty-nine.” She smirks.
“That is the closest!” Shayne answers. “It was fifty percent. Courtney, you’re on the board! Go ahead.” He gestures towards the board. "Courtney?"
"Your wife!" Angela shouts out and giggles before covering her face in shame.
"Holy shit!" Shayne says. "You were laughing as you said it!"
“Wow." Courtney voices. "Okay…let’s do…earthquake for fifty.”
“Okay…” As Shayne reaches for the card, the building jolts. He stumbles into the Beopardy board, and it wobbles from the impact.
“Woah! Shayne, are you okay?!” Courtney asks, their hands outstretched to him.
“Holy tits!” Angela exclaims, eyes wide.
Tommy sits frozen in shocked fear next to them.
“Yeah…I…um, wow. Was that like a special effect?” Shayne asks the crew, who look at each other in confusion and shake their heads no.
He takes the card and makes his way back to his spot, but then the shaking starts. The cameras and lighting fall over, and the crew scramble to save the equipment before realizing they better save themselves instead and run out of the set.
Shayne’s balance fails as the ground beneath him shakes, and he grabs onto the board—which isn’t secure, so he falls backwards to the ground. His elbows stop his head from hitting the floor, but his impact is still met with a loud THUNK!
“Shayne!” Courtney exclaims, concerned for their husband. They get up to help him, but the ceiling collapses from above…