Chapter Text
Z slapped their cards down. “Ha! Beat that! Four of a Kind!”
Muggy sighed. “Aww...That's too bad. You really thought you won!” She dropped her cards, revealing a Royal Flush.
Z jolted. “Wh-what?! NOOOO! You [censored]! I know you cheated!”
“Did I? Or do you just suck? This is the forty-fifth time you lost to me. Just admit you suck and keep moving. No matter what you try, you aren't winning that limited-edition Digimon Card Collection back.”
“I don't give a [censored] about my card collection! I want my [censored] house back!”
She laughed. “You still remember that? I'm surprised!”
Z flipped the table. “Play fair, [censored]!”
“Watch that mouth of yours in Miss Muggy's presence.” Parsley put the table back, then placed a cup of tea in front of Muggy.
“Thank you, Parsley.” She shooed him off. “I didn't cheat, just so you know. You just suck at poker.”
Z huffed, crossing their arms. “I. Want. My. [censored]. Back. NOW!”
“Okaaay! You want your stuff back, I get it! I get it! How about we play one final game? Whatever you have left that you're willing to give up, for everything else I won.”
“You stole,” Z corrected, angrily.
“I didn't steal anything. You just lost. Repeatedly. Badly.”
Z dug through their things. “Phone...Wallet...Hm...OH! This! I bet this!”
Z held up a medal. It was made of cardboard, covered in rusted metallic paper. The string was old and battered, and looked like it could break at any given moment. The medal had a simply-drawn emblem on the front and back, a yellow X and a yellow-green Z. Muggy looked at Z, the color matching.
“This is just junk I've been holding onto for years. If you take this [censored] off my hands, I think I'll feel much better. I'll throw in the wallet, too.” They dropped the medal and wallet onto the table.
“The wallet's a good call. I only want this medal because you're giving it to me, ha! You sure you don't want to keep this? It looks hand-made by a three year old. You have a child or something?”
“Just my [censored] friend. He probably trashed his years ago. Let's just stop with the formalities and go already!”
“Okay.” Muggy shuffled the deck. She removed a card from the top, then handed them two cards. She grabbed two cards herself. “Game time, Z. Show me your best strategy.”
Z looked at their cards.
“We already placed our bets. Put your junk on the table. That's the starting bet.”
“Don't tell me what to do.” Z dropped the medal on the table.
“Call.” She pushed over their tricycle.
“Hey, when did you get your feet on my [censored] bike?! I thought I lost that when I was five! [Censored]!”
Muggy giggled. Although she was crazy, it was quite an enchanting laugh. She pulled off the next card, then pulled off three more. She placed them in the middle of the table and flipped them over.
“Check.”
“Raise.” She pushed over their car keys. “Remember that bet?”
“That was a pain in the [censored], Muggy. Don't remind me of it.”
She removed another card, then placed a new card next to the three on the table.
“Raise.” Z pushed their wallet onto the table.
“Oh? Getting fearless are we? Raise.” She pushed over the card collection.
“My Digimon Cards! I'm going to grin your ceramic [censored] into fine dust! YOU HEAR ME?!”
Parsley grabbed Muggy's cup of tea and took a sip from it, since she hadn't drank it herself.
“Last turn.” Muggy grabbed a card, grabbed a second card, then placed it next to the four cards on the table.
Z looked at their hand. This was it. Their wallet and cheap medal were the last things they owned. If they won, they would get everything back. If not, they would have to live on the streets. Muggy smiled at them.
“Check.”
“Out of things to bet? What about your phone?”
“Check!”
“Raise.” She pushed over their house keys.
“Go on. Show your hand.”
“Fine.” A Straight Flush.
Z dropped their cards. “N...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I know you're cheating! I know you're a cheater, [censored]! I KNOW IT!” They tackled Muggy, knocking her out of her seat.
“Aah! Parsley! Help me! Get this heathen off me!”
Parsley stood. “Coming, ma'am!”
Z punched Muggy in the eye. “I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS [CENSORED]! GIVE ME BACK MY [CENSORED]!”
Parsley pulled Z off Muggy, them still swinging their fists at the air.
Muggy rubbed her eye, a large crack visible on her face. “Get them out of my house. Now.”
Parsley bowed, still holding Z. “Yes, ma'am.”
Z fought Parsley's grip enough to turn around in his arm and face Muggy. They waved a fist at her. “I'LL BE BACK, MUGGY! JUST YOU WAIT! YOU'LL REGRET THIS DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR [CENSORED] LITTLE LIFE! YOU THIEVING [CENSORED]!”
Parsley threw them outside, into the pouring rain. “Farewell, Mx Z.” He closed the door, locking it.
Z ran to the door, pounding it. “MUGGY! GIVE IT BACK! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU! MY HOUSE, MY CAR! YOU CAN KEEP THE CARDS FOR ALL I CARE! I JUST WANT TO GET HOME!”
Parsley opened the blinds and shook his head at Z. He closed the blinds afterwards, walking off.
“MUGGYYYYYYY!”
Muggy opened the door, tape over her eye and a piece of the back of her head missing. “Oh. In order so you don't get sick, I'll hand you back your umbrella.” She tossed it at Z, knocking them into the mud. “That's a reminder that, although I may be a bit rude, I'm not a jerk.” She slammed the door.
Z opened their umbrella. Holes littered the canopy, and the pole was slightly bent out of shape. Z huffed and stormed off. They decided to return another day, when “Muggy” had calmed down. They had no house, no car, and no money. They were lucky enough they still had a phone.
They found their way to a hotel, picking through the couch cushions in the lobby until they found ten dollars. They paid for the room, then lie down on their raggedy bed in their horrible broom closet. They covered their face with their arm, resting it across their eyes. They sighed. Their phone buzzed, vibrating against their chest. They turned on the screen to see it was a text from X; the first in years. They opened the chat to look at the full message.
“Hello, Z! I know we've fallen out of touch, but I wanted to take some time to ask you something reeeeeaaaaally important. Four's hosting the Number Fam-A-Gram again this year, and I really really REALLY want you to come! He got into a bunch of reality shows lately, so I just know they're gonna win! I need your help to stop him! He and Two have won every year so far!”
Another text popped up.
“OH! I also want you to come because I never see you anymore! I keep inviting you, hoping you'll come, but you never do! Is the outside world really that difficult, that you can't even make it to the Number Fam-A-Gram anymore? You used to have so much fun going too, I hope you can come this year.”
And a third.
“PS, I found this while digging through some old boxes. I remember making these! I can't believe I forgot it was in here. Four actually found it, but still. I have it now. Remember what everyone used to call us back in Elementary School? 'Variable Champions!' Those were good times, weren't they? Oh, I'm getting all emotional over a text. I guess I'll just have to wait and see if you respond.”
An image sent. X was holding up a matching medal, although his was in much fairer condition than Z's. He had the biggest grin you can imagine, even despite the fact Two's thumb was slightly blocking the camera. He wore the medal proudly around his neck, beaming like he'd just won the medal from a marathon. A final text appeared below it, so Z scrolled down to see what he'd said.
“Please make it to the Number Fam-A-Gram, please please! I really miss you! Also, do you still have your medal? I want to see yours again! I have to stop texting now, since Four's giving me a look. Love you, bye!”
“He still has that [censored]?” Z clicked on the picture, staring at X's smile. “And they look so happy, too.” They turned off their phone and tossed it on the shelf behind their mattress. “I lost it all, X. How do I tell you that? You'd be mortified, and Four'd probably [censored] kill me.” Z sighed. “What the [censored] do I do?”
Their phone buzzed a final time. Z grabbed it and looked at it.
“This is Four, X's CLOSE friend. You better come to the Fam-A-Gram, or X will cry. And if X cries, horrible things will happen to you. So come, or else! And you better bring that medal too!”
“Yep, Four's definitely going to kill me.” They looked back at the texts.
“And another thing, if you come, I'll let X win the Fam-A-Gram. Yeah, that's right! I'll betray Two! You never come, so X never gets to compete. He's REALLY torn up about it every year, but he's going to be even worse this year because I found that cheap medal for him. So come. NOW!”
Four punctuated his rage with multiple exclamation points. Z put their phone on mute, tossed it back on the shelf, then turned over on their side, facing the door.
“I lost everything because I was being stupid. I lost X because I was being a [censored] jerk.” They looked at the faint light leaking through the bottom of the door. It shone just like X's smile did. “I'm not going to lose you again. I was horrible to you, X. I'm sorry. Starting now, I'll do better.”
Somebody kicked the door. “Skibidi!”
“Shut your [censored], you piece of [censored]!”
“I'm sorry!” They ran off, crying.
“Starting tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow.”