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Mairead had always been the competitive sort. In the circle, Apprentices would compete to see who could learn new spells the fastest. It could be friendly, Mairead had a fun thing going with another girl, but they all knew that the slowest to learn wouldn’t make it through. One way or another, there were always more Apprentices than Enchanters. Nothing in the Circle was ever without its edge. Mairead learned fast and she learned well, and thus she kept herself alive and whole. The world outside of the Circle might be a very different thing, but some of the same principles still applied. Those who learned fastest stayed safest. So, she threw herself into it. It worked, at least at first. She must have been doing something right, because she was good enough for people to listen to her. Then, more and more people died, and she knew it wasn’t enough. She had to do more, be more.
She learned everything she could from her companions. More spells, but not only that. How to use a sword, how to shoot a bow, anything that could possibly give her the slightest advantage. Anything that could keep one more person alive. She started carrying a knife, just in case she got cornered. She kept it hidden, partly for the extra advantage, but mostly so she wouldn’t look like a blood mage. (Sometimes she thought about that, too, but she always cut herself off.)
She learned the most from Morrigan. They would sit together, day in and day out, sometimes into the night, and Morrigan would teach her more and more. She was a more patient teacher than Mairead had expected. Inevitably, she thought about people who had taught her things in the Circle. Morrigan taught her far more than most of them. She would have never have survived the Circle. Mairead couldn’t imagine Morrigan broken down and quiet. Probably, she would have vanished one day. Mairead didn’t want to think about that, but she couldn’t help it. She tried to think of other things instead, and found herself thinking instead of the warmth of Morrigan’s body when they sat close together late at night. Sometimes, she wondered what it would be like to close that gap, and touch thigh to thigh. She never could bring herself to do it.