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Shadow stood in a corner, exhaustion weighing on his limbs as he waited out the mission debriefing. It was ridiculous that Team Dark was even forced to attend these, being an independent unit that, ostensibly, was allowed to work entirely on its own. He glanced at Rouge again, the bat looking just as annoyed as he felt. Really, the fact that they insisted on their team being here for this idiotic, redundant meeting was ludicrous.
It ended as sluggishly as it began, a slow shuffle being the only pace the soldiers could seem to manage. Finally, Shadow could leave headquarters and do something more worth his time. He told Rouge as much, when she gave him a questioning look in the hallway.
“You’re not having bird time?” She asked, all faux innocence.
Shadow scowled. “Don’t call it that. And it’s none of your business.”
Rouge’s responding smirk made Shadow dread whatever she was about to say. “Sure. Enjoy your bird time, hon.”
Shadow resisted the urge to snap at her as she walked away. Why did she insist on making it sound so… infantile? Shadow had never belittled her methods of reducing stress. Well, not publicly, at least. While a large part of him didn’t care what humans thought of him, another part (a conditioned part, surely) found his need for self-soothing shameful, wanted to hide it from the soldiers still milling around. Shadow shook his head, clearing the thought, and pulled out his emerald to chaos control home.
He appeared in his apartment in a flash of light, immediately feeling more at ease in the dim entryway than he had under the buzzing fluorescent lighting of GUN headquarters. The rising sun gave off just enough light to see by.
Shadow walked to the kitchen, pulling a large bag of seed from one of the lower cabinets. After Rouge had blackmailed him into doing a crazy old man’s chores in the name of ‘therapy,’ Shadow had started visiting him regularly. He found that the birds helped him settle, after more difficult missions. His enjoyment of them soon extended to the feral pigeons that he often spooked during runs, and he’d picked up this new post-mission ritual.
So, yes, he was having his bird time.
He tucked the bag under his arm, leaving his apartment nearly as quickly as he’d entered. This was part of the ritual, the walk there. If he was overly reliant on chaos control, he often started to feel untethered. Like he was a ball of chaos energy, rather than a proper person. The steady clunking of his shoes on wood, then metal, then concrete, served to tie him back to his body. The GUN-assigned therapist would probably have some nonsense to say about grounding techniques, if he told her about it.
Shadow took a deep breath, the morning air filling his lungs crisp and cold. He’d found that the spot where the most pigeons gathered was a longer walk, about twenty minutes, which usually gave him time to settle. He could run, but it always felt like a waste. This was one of the few times he got to slow down on his own terms, and it felt imperative to savor it.
He huffed. A year ago, he wouldn’t have even considered that an option. To protect the planet, he had thought, he needed to constantly set up new safeguards to ensure that humanity wouldn’t kill itself, even when he wasn’t actively on a mission. After enough of that, he had been ready to snap at any moment, while humanity would find any way to bring harm to itself.
Rouge and Omega had noticed, because of course they had, and it had led him here. Using his free time to relax, like he was a person. He focused on the sound of his shoes on pavement, the light breeze ruffling his fur. It was a pleasant enough morning, though the humidity clung to his fur.
Shadow arrived at his usual bench, a crowd of pigeons already forming. He was sure they could recognize his quills by now. They were somehow bolder than the pigeons he’d first encountered, trying to climb on his shoes as he sat down. Being on the edge of starvation would give them that sort of desperation, he reasoned.
Shadow opened the bag of seed, dropping a handful at his feet before throwing another some distance away. Shy birds didn’t survive long, in these circumstances, but Shadow could give them more time to build up confidence. He scattered another handful, the birds dispersing slightly. A horde was gathering now, what had to be at least a hundred crowding close to Shadow, some of them becoming bold enough to jump onto his lap and take directly from the bag.
The light weight of them and the scratch of their claws was always grounding. Not overwhelming, like most touch was. Perhaps it was just because they didn’t expect anything of him in return.
His peace was shattered when a flash of blue scared all but the boldest (or hungriest) birds off, then doubled back and stopped right in front of him, wearing a smirk that Shadow wanted desperately in that moment to punch off his face.
Sonic ignored Shadow’s growing rage, as usual. He leaned toward Shadow, scaring off the lone pigeon that had clung to his quills after eating its fill. “Whatcha up to, Shads?”
“You scared them off.” He just wanted one nice, peaceful thing. That was all he asked. One.
“Scared… what?” Sonic seemed genuinely confused, which for some reason made Shadow angrier.
“The pigeons.”
Sonic only looked more lost. “Uh, sorry, didn’t realize you were like. Doing something. What are you doing, by the way?”
Shadow was going to grind his teeth into dust. Sonic, of all people, was quite possibly the worst to find out that he did this. The blue hedgehog was addicted to teasing him almost as much as Rouge was. But he wasn’t going to leave, and Shadow… Shadow should just bite the bullet.
So he bit out, “Feeding them.”
“Huh,” was Sonic’s only response for a long moment, before he continued, “didn’t take you for that kinda guy.”
Shadow flicked an ear back, annoyed. What was that even supposed to mean?
Sonic glanced at the scattered pigeons, then to Shadow, and sat on the bench next to him, drumming his fingers on the wood between them. Shadow shot a glare toward him, then kept scattering seed. He still had half a bag to get through, and he was not going to let Sonic ruin this for him. The pigeons flocked back like nothing had happened, jostling one another. A few, after eating their fill, used Shadow’s quills as a perch.
After a few minutes, right when Shadow thought there may have been a miracle and Sonic might actually let the moment pass without a snarky comment, he turned toward Shadow and asked, “So you just do this? For fun? Or?”
Shadow growled, his annoyance doubled when the sound scared a pigeon from his quills. “If you are going to mock me,” he warned, hand curling into a fist, “I will throttle you.”
“Nah.” Sonic turned back to the pigeons, resting his chin on his hand. “I get it. They kinda remind me of you, y’know?”
Shadow blinked, confused.
Sonic caught it after a few seconds, clarifying, “You know, getting developed to help out humanity and all that. But once they weren’t as useful, humans decided to just toss ‘em out. More trouble than they’re worth, or whatever.”
How… oddly insightful. Shadow studied him for a moment. Quills relaxed, ears perked forward to catch the cooing of the birds, his posture loose despite his fidgeting. He was enjoying this, too. Sonic’s eyes had caught on a male that was trying desperately to impress another that was still trying to eat.
“They’re kind of a lot, though, huh? That guy over there’s just going for it, even though she’s clearly not interested.”
Shadow huffed. “I enjoy watching them make fools of themselves.”
Sonic barked out a laugh, earning himself a glare as a few pigeons spooked into the air. “Seems like you do that with the rest of us, too.”
Shadow just hummed, looking back at the flock. He’d almost exhausted his bag of seed, and the horde was thinning as birds had their fill and flew off. After a long stretch of comfortable silence, he said, “They used to be quite common. As lab animals. They were often preferred for behavioral studies. Did you know they have superstitions?”
Sonic leaned back with his hands behind his head, staring pointedly at the handful of seed that Shadow was about to throw. “Heh. Bet they think you’re some sorta god.”
“They likely recognize me as a caregiver.” Shadow watched a fledgling beg for food while loudly squeaking all the while. “An outsider to the flock, but a benevolent one.”
“So basically a god.”
Before Shadow could argue, a ping sounded, distinctly not Shadow’s pager, and Sonic pulled back his glove to check the communicator on his wrist. “Gotta run. Tails needs some help.” Right before Sonic sped off, he said, “I’ll come bug ya again some other time!” At Shadow’s responding groan, he snickered, then disappeared in a flash of blue.
Shadow sat with the thinning flock a while longer, finishing the bag of seed soon after Sonic left. When the sun had risen enough for suffocating heat to soak into his quills, Shadow lightly brushed his hands along his head to dislodge any lingering pigeons. Finding none, he pulled out his chaos emerald, returning to his apartment to shower and rest.
He’d had a pleasant morning, even with Sonic interrupting. Not that anyone needed to know that.