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It’s raining the cold, comfortable sort of rain that makes hearts feel warmer.
The windows in Nick Nelson’s bedroom are fogged over, fairy lights glowing a dim gold against the grey evening. The house is quiet- his mum out for dinner, the raindrops creating a rhythmic sound as they rap against the glass. For a moment, the world belongs to Nick and Charlie. Then again, there’s hardly a moment when it feels as though it doesn’t.
Charlie sits cross-legged on the edge of the bed, fingers running along the folded edges of the paper in his hands. He’d unfolded the sheet several times on the walk over to skim it again nervously- but he hadn’t changed anything.
He’d known it was perfect from the second he was done writing it.
Nick leans against the headboard, watching him with that open, warm expression that still somehow makes Charlie’s stomach flip after all this time
“Are you going to tell me what that is,” Nick asks softly, “or are you just going to stare at it until it bursts into flames?”
Charlie huffs a nervous laugh. “It’s not that dramatic.”
“It looks dramatic.”
“It’s just,” Charlie swallows. “It’s our anniversary. I wanted to give you something that wasn’t just, like, chocolate or a hoodie I’d steal back.”
Nick’s smile deepens, scooching slightly closer to his boyfriend. “You can steal my hoodies whenever you want.”
Charlie crawls closer, knees brushing Nick’s thigh. He presses the folded page into Nick’s hands, then immediately snatches it back.
“No. Wait. I’ll read it. That’s less embarrassing.”
Nick grins. “Is it?”
“If you don’t stop teasing me, I’m going to rip it into pieces and then you’ll never get to read it, rugby idiot.” Charlie glances up with a smirk before looking back down, unfolding the paper with trembling fingers. He takes a breath.
And then he begins.
---
“i love you in every way you never think i notice.
in the way the morning light finds your hair before I do.
in the way your laugh settles somewhere permanent inside my ribs.
i love you like the stars love the starlight-
like the sycamores love the wind
i love you like the way i did the first day i saw you
back when we were dumb kids in form
the only thing i learned in that class
was that i loved you
and that i would for a very long time
i love you in the way my heart thumps in my chest
whenever you say my name
in the way i become a dumb kid all over again
every time i see your face light up
and i forget everything i thought i knew.
i love you like i love the color yellow;
the color of your gorgeous hair
and the stars in your eyes
and the honey of your voice
whenever you tell me you love me
i love you in the spaces between heartbeats.
in the stretch of seconds before you kiss me.
in the warmth of your hands when they find mine
if I could write my future,
it would look like this:
your name beside mine,
over and over and over again.”
---
Charlie’s voice wavers on the last line.
The room feels smaller now. Warmer.
Nick hasn’t moved.
Charlie peeks up nervously. “So, um… thoughts?… Y-you don’t have to say anything if-“
Before he can say another word, he feels Nick’s lips crashing into his, and everything else melts away.
Nick’s hand slides into Charlie’s curls, thumb brushing the back of his neck, and the kiss deepens. In that moment Nick is all that exists- his laugh and the stars in his eyes and the way he tastes like honey.
Charlie melts into him, palms sliding to Nick’s waist, breath catching when Nick murmurs his name against his mouth.
When they part, their foreheads rest together.
“Char. You,” Nick says, voice thick, “are unbelievable.”
Charlie’s heart is beating against his chest so hard it’s almost painful. “That’s either very good or very bad.”
“It’s very good.”
Charlie smirks, running a hand slowly through Nick’s hair. “You didn’t think it was too cheesy?”
“Oh, no, it was incredibly cheesy.” Nick smiles, voice soft as he places his hand on Charlie’s cheek. “I loved it. Thank you.”
Nick removes his hand and reaches over to his desk drawer, pulling something out; a folded page, creased like it’s been opened and refolded a hundred times.
Charlie blinks. “Wait. You-“
“I panicked last night.” Nick admits, cheeks rosy. “I thought you might do something just like this. And I didn’t want to be the boyfriend who just showed up with Tesco flowers.”
Charlie laughs softly. “You know I would’ve loved Tesco flowers.”
“Yeah, but this is more thoughtful.”
He hesitates.
“I wrote mine in French.”
Charlie’s eyes light up instantly. “You did?”
Nick rubs the back of his neck. “Don’t get too excited. It might be terrible. I’m not nearly as poetic as you are.”
Charlie stares into Nick’s eyes, his smile widening as his hand grazes his arm. “Nick.”
That does it.
Nick unfolds the paper, clears his throat and begins.
---
“Mon amour,
Tu es la douceur que je cherchais sans le savoir.
Le calme après la tempête.
La lumière qui traverse mes jours les plus gris.
Quand tu me regardes,
je me sens vu — vraiment vu —
comme si rien en moi n’était trop.
Je t’aime dans les silences.
Je t’aime dans les rires.
Je t’aime dans chaque battement de mon cœur
qui semble murmurer ton nom.
Si le monde devenait sombre,
je te chercherais encore.
Parce que tu es ma maison.
Toujours.”
---
Charlie’s hand flies to his mouth.
Nick’s cheeks redden as he lowers the paper, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Um. It sounds cooler in French.”
“It sounds beautiful,” Charlie breathes.
Nick swallows. “Do you… want me to translate?”
Charlie nods, eyes shining.
Nick shifts closer until their knees press together. He sets the paper aside and gently takes Charlie’s hands in his own.
His thumbs brush over Charlie’s knuckles.
Their faces are only inches apart now.
Nick’s voice drops, becoming softer as he looks into Charlie’s eyes.
“Mon amour,” he repeats quietly. “My love.”
Charlie’s breath hitches.
“You are the softness I was searching for to my own unawareness. The calmness after the storm. The light that moves through my greyest of days.”
Charlie’s fingers tighten around his.
“When you look at me,” Nick continues, a little embarrassed smile flickering before fading into something steadier, “I feel seen. Truly seen. Like no part of me is overbearing.”
Charlie’s eyes are glassy now.
“I love you in the silence. I love you in the laughter. I love you in every countless heartbeat that whispers your name.”
Nick leans closer still.
“If the world went dark,” he murmurs, voice almost a whisper against Charlie’s lips, “I would spend my life looking for you. Because you are my home. Always.”
Charlie doesn’t even realize he’s crying until Nick brushes a tear away with his thumb.
“You’re my home too.” Charlie whispers.
Nick kisses him again, slower this time, deeper, their hands still intertwined between them. Charlie shifts forward, pressing closer, feeling the warmth of Nick’s body through thin fabric, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under his palm.
Nick pulls back just enough to rest his forehead against Charlie’s.
“Happy anniversary,” Nick murmurs softly.
Charlie smiles, eyes still damp but glowing. “Happy anniversary.”
Outside, the rain keeps falling. Inside, the two stay wrapped around each other. Before they know it, they’re dumb kids again, laughing and loving and forgetting everything else they’ve ever known.
It’s temporary because it’s perfect.
And yet, it’s perfect because it’s temporary.
xx