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You are sickened by the weakness (of a heart that’s filled with fear)

Summary:

Desperation brings out the worst in people, but what will come of grian when war strikes his home, his family.

Grian, stuck between two losing battles, and all he has for bargaining is himself, but what do sacrifices mean when war is the only option?

Or: hermits go to war to save their friends

Notes:

Updates are gonna be kinda slow I’m not motivated but this will be done eventually I’ve invested too much thought into this for it to become nothing

Chapter 1: You will never break the chains

Chapter Text

Grian never liked the feeling of blood.

Hot and stinky, clung to every inch of innocence it would find, and could never be washed clean again.

He hated it most when it found itself in his wings, deep within the feathers, clung together like clots, turned from a bright red to a deep crimson.

No, grian didn't like it one bit. But that didn't stop the flood of red now pouring out of his nose. He was practically choking on it, all he could taste was iron.

He stood, legs shaking. blood covered hands going to cup his nose, only to recoil when met with white hot pain. Broken, definitely.

His whimper was met with a groan.

"Gr-ian?" Someone called out. Voice hoarse.

Grians eyes dart around, chasing after the voice. Mumbos limp form makes itself know within the dirt and dust that was once Grians base.

At least that's where grian assumed they were, he was having a hard time remembering what exactly happened to it though.

"Mumbo!" Grian lets out a weak groan as he rushes over to him.

"What happened?" Mumbo asked, perching himself up on his elbows as Grian crouches down to him.

"I don't-" grian pauses as he looks around his base, his chest aches at the sight. "I don't know."

"You're bleeding." Mumbos hand cups grians face, trying and failing to remove what blood he can.

"I'm okay, are you hurt?" Mumbo face contorts into a grimace.

"I think I'm a bit dazed from the impact, but I'm okay."

"Impact?" Grian questioned.

"Yeah I think— something feel out of the sky?" Mumbo groans as he stood slowly, inspecting the surrounding area. "Look." He points to something behind grian.

He turns and is met with something big and black in the middle of what used to be his wheat field.

His stomach sank, a new sense of dread filling his entire body.

This wasn't—? it couldn't be — surely it's not them?

"Grian?" He looked into his friends eyes, his face was covered in ash and dirt, "Are you okay?"His moustache quirked down in a frown.

"Yeah. I'm okay." Grians voice came out strained and croaky. Mumbo looked unconvinced, but nodded anyway.

"Do you reckon one of Doc's projects went rogue?" Mumbo asked, "or maybe-" mumbo trailed off, continuing to theorise what had happened and why.

"Maybe?" Grian was too busy desperately trying to get the blood off his face with his sleeve to fully comprehend what mumbo was saying.

"We need to find the others, come on." Mumbo equipped his elytra quick before taking to the sky, grian opened his wings and followed closely behind him, he did his best to ignore the ache in his nose and head.

 

As they flew they both noticed the hundreds of black spikes scattered across the server, impaling homes, shops, farms. It made Grian sick to his stomach.

There was a small huddle of hermits near Joel's ink shop, xisuma seemed to be taking account of who was there. A few heads turned at the sound of rockets coming closer.

"Grian and mumbo are here!" Etho shouted to the crowed as the two landed a few feet away.
Xisuma rushed to them, taking them both in.

"Are you both okay?" X said as a few other hermits came to check on the pair.

"G! You're covered in blood!" Skizzs voice dripped with worry as he rushed to Grians side.

"I'm okay, I think it's broken." Skizz grimaced leaning in to inspect it further.

"We'll have Zed take a look at that, don't worry." Skizz grabs his shoulders, guiding him over to a small huddle of hermits. It seems to be a makeshift first-aid area. 

Grian looks around, checking to see if anyone is badly injured. Scar catches his eye, he's propped up on a wooden table they seemingly found inside one of the shops, his leg currently being patched up by Zedaph.

"Zed, we've got another injury." Skizz guides them over to the pair. Scars face contorts in pain as he looks up, that pain melts away into concern when he meets eyes with grian.

"One second." Zed says, pulling tightly on the bandages he's wrapping around scar.

"Grian! Are you okay?" Scar tried to sit up, only to be scolded and told to sit still by Zed.

"I'm okay, what happened to you?"

"Just a scratch! No need to worry." Scar said, and grian found himself having a hard time believing him.

Zed was soon hunched over grian, closely inspecting his nose.

"Yep it's broken." Zedaph confirmed, he begins digging in a all bag attached to his hip "here have this," he says, pulling out a small bottle full of glistening red liquid and handing it to grian.

"This should fix the break, they'll still be brushing though, the only pots I have left are pretty weak."

"Thanks," grains says, downing the bottle in one go.

 

A few more hermits showed up not long after, most covered in some form of soot.

"That's only twenty-two who's missing?" Xisuma said to the crowd as they looked around to their server mates.

"Where's pearl?" All heads turned to grian "has anyone seen her?" He felt himself panic.

"I thought I saw her!" Gem piped up "she was in the shopping district before, whatever happened, happened."

"Then why isn't she here?" Grian shouted, far more aggressive then he meant, gem took a step back, guilt panged in grians gut.

"Someone try to message her!" Beef suggested.

"We can't, comms are down." False informed the crowed.

"What do we do then?" Desperation laced grians voice.

"It's okay, We'll split up a search party and find her!" Skizz said somewhere amongst the crowd, doing his best to defuse the situation.

"Is splitting up really the best idea?" Cub questioned "what if something else happens? It'll be harder to find everyone."

"What other choice do we have?" Gem argued "what if she's hurt, cub?"

Cub lets out a sigh, "I guess."

"We'll split into six groups of three, and four of us will stay here, incase she comes here." Xisumas voice boomed with authority as he took control of the situation.

"Don't worry," mumbos voice came somewhere behind grain as he felt a hand on his shoulder. "We'll find her." He offered him a small smile.

"Grian you stay here, mumbo go with impulse and Cub." Xisuma barked out.

"Shouldn't I go with them? I'm faster then elytra I can cover more ground." Grian protested.

"No I don't want you working yourself up. Stay here." Xisuma was stern, but grian could hear no aggression behind his voice. He let out a sigh of frustration none the less.

 

Grian watched as the hermits were split into groups, scar, Zed, himself, and xisuma were the last ones left.

"You alright G?" Scar asked looking down at grian from where he was sitting in a small patch of grass, wings twitching lightly.

"Yeah, just worried about pearl." He said as scar found a spot next to him. He hummed in response.

"She'll turn up, shes probably helping a cat out of a tree, you know her." Grian let out a chuckle at that.

It was nice, really, scar trying to calm grians worries, but it didn't work, because grian knew something no one else did.

But none the less, grian smiled at scar.

"Thanks."

 

It felt like hours before the first group came back, bearing no good news, pearl was still missing. It didn't take long for the rest of the groups to trickle back in, each one landing with a defeated frown and a shake of their head when asked, 'did you find her?'

 

A loud chatter erupted through the hermits, shouts of 'where could she be?' And 'did she leave the server' could be heard, grian tried his best to pay no mind to it, instead focusing on his breathing and the overwhelming sense of panic looming over him.

"Everyone quiet!" X shouted, "we need to stay calm, no one panic!"

And at that moment, whilst xisumas voice settled a calm over the hermits, is when the world broke.

Ground shaking , earth cracking, mountains moving, sky flashing shades of purple. People's screams could barely be heard over the echoing cracks of thunder.

Joel's shop trembles and cracks, it crumbles in on itself as hermits scatter to get out of the way.

"Everyone get down!" Joel screams.

A crash rumbles through the air as another large spike pierces through the dirt a few feet away from the group.

Grian sat up and looked around his fellow hermits, they looked worse for wear, but no one else seemed to be hurt by some miracle.

"Wha- what's that?" Gems voice shook as she stared at the spike, no, something on top of it.

Grian followed her gaze, and was met with a tall hooded figure with multiple large white wings standing atop the spike.

"Hello, Xelqua."

 

Maybe grian should have listened to the signs, the voices in the wind, the eyes in the trees.

He'd hoped it was it own paranoia, his mind playing tricks on him, he couldn't dare let himself think they were planning something, surely they'd been satisfied with the life games?

He should have known better, nothing can satisfy a watchers bloodlust. So then, why was he still surprised when they finally came after him?

"Who's Xelque?" Scar asked the watcher, stepping forward slightly. Only for X to pull him away.

X stepped in front of the crowd of hermits, pulling out his sword.

"What do you want." The watcher craned its head to the side slightly, looking down at X with curiosity.

"You shall know your place, voidwalker." X stood firm.

"I take no interest in your forced hierarchy, leave now." The watcher hummed at that.

"I am afraid I cannot. You have something of great importance to the council." The watcher drew a black sword from its cloak "I must bring him back."

Grians whole body shook as he stared up at the watcher. this was it, the moment he'd so desperately tried to run from.

"What 'him' are you talking about?"

"Xelqua, he belongs to the council, he belongs to the watchers."

"We don't have anyone here named Xelqua!" Impulse shouted from somewhere in the crowd, a few hermits yelling in agreement.

"Hm, quite intriguing." The watcher let out a sinister chuckle, "you never told them then? No matter, if you do not wish to come willingly" the watcher lifted its hand, "I have other means of persuasion."

A blinding flash of light, and then in the watchers hand, being gripped by her wrist, there was an unconscious pearl.

"Pearl!" Gem screamed, running towards the watcher, only for skizz to catch her before she could make it out of the crowd.

"NO!" Grian yelled before he could stop himself.

"You, or her. Shall you let her take your punishment for you?" The watcher smirked "I did not take you for a coward, Xelqua."

Grian rushes through the crowd before anyone could stop him, standing a few feet in front of X.

"Me, take me!" The watcher smiled wildly.

"Grian?" He could hear the confusing dripping in X's voice, Grian turned to look at him, a mix of confusion and betrayal laced his face.

"What is it talking about? What does it mean 'your punishment'?"

The watcher cut in before Grian got the chance to explain himself.

"A runaway cannot go unpunished." The watcher stated.

"Runaway?" Mumbo questioned from somewhere in the crowd.

"Let her go now, and I will come with you," grain practically begging the watcher, "I won't fight, I go with no tricks," his voice did not waver as he kept the watchers gaze "I will be the councils. Forever this time."

The watcher smirked.

"You really have lost your spark child, one measly threat and you're crumbling, just like that pitiful server of yours."  And at that the watcher let out a bellowing laugh, tossing pearl to the side like a rag doll.

Grain was quick to catch her, swooping her up mid air, cradling her close to his chest.

He turns his head to the crowd, immediately meeting Xisumas gaze. He walks towards him, carefully as to not hurt pearl.

"X, you need to listen to me," grian begins, slowly handing pearl over to the man "you need to get everyone away from this server immediately, start a new one as far and as off grid as you can, do not go through the hive, they will find you." Grian whispered fast, X seemingly overwhelmed by the amount of information being given to him, and also by the amount of questions going though his mind, can only shake his head in confusion.

"You need to trust me, get away from here, go into hiding, don't let them find her." Grian glances down at pearl, Xisuma follows his gaze. Grian places a hand on his sisters cheek, taking in her face, trying to memorise it one last time. Before he turns and walks towards the watcher.

"Grian wait! I don't understand!" Xisuma call to him desperately.

"Grian! No, what are you doing?" Scars voice makes grian stop in his tracks, he looks over his shoulder, and all he can do is give him a small sad smile.

"Do not keep the council waiting, child, their patience for you has already grown thin." The watcher grabs grians shoulder, squeezing hard. He winces at the contact.

The watcher turns and with a flick of its hands, a bright white portal appears.

All grian can bring himself to do is stare at it, and all of a sudden, grain can feel the shackles around his wrists, the ball and chain attached to his ankle, he's back, back to the never ending torment, back to the cages, back to the punishments. He will never be free.

He steps forward towards the portal, and breathes his last fresh breath of freedom, before letting himself be consumed by the bright light.

 

Mumbos feet carry him before he can really process what he's doing. He hears distant cry's of his name but he doesn't care, his eyes are set and his mind is made.

And before he knew it, he was already running into the light.