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‘Give me a moment to touch up my hair.’ The man uses the dark teleprompter as a mirror while adding a last spritz of hairspray to his already perfect coiffure.
‘Come now Divus, the Opening Ceremony is about to start.’
‘Patience, old man’.
His coworker sighs and shuffles the pile of notes in front of him.
‘Good evening everyone, and welcome to Night Raven Sports Channel as we begin our coverage of the 27th Olympic Games. My name is Mozus Trein, and I am pleased to be joined by my co-hosts, Ashton Vargas and Divus Crewel.’
‘Super stoked to see what this incredible pool of athletes will bring this year, Mozus.’
‘Likewise.’
‘Tonight marks the start of 3 weeks competition in which athletes from across Twisted Wonderland come together and represent their countries in extraordinary displays of elite athleticism across all disciplines. Night Raven Sports Channel is proud to offer you live coverage of all sporting events, as well as exclusive interviews with athletes and behind-the-scenes stories. As always, we’d like to thank our sponsors, Mystery Emporium and Ramshackle Holiday Resorts.’
‘We can see the athletes are beginning to make their way into the stadium—look at them taking selfies and waving to the crowd. Ashton, Divus, as with every Games, there are many returning athletes from four years ago and even more newcomers who are looking to challenge the defending champions and make a name for themselves. Is there anyone that you’re particularly excited to see?’
‘Yeah for sure Mozus. Man, I was crushed when Savanaclaw was knocked out of competition in the rugby semifinals last time—they were just obliterated by Diasomnia. Leona Kingscholar is leading the team this year as their captain, and they have been looking pretty damn formidable in the league lately so I’m excited for that.’
‘Absolutely. Given the longstanding history of rugby in Savanaclaw, I too was surprised by the upset. It was the first time Savanaclaw didn’t make it to the final match in 64 years. It will be worth tuning in when the preliminary rounds start in the second week of competition. How about you Divus? Any stars you have an eye on?’
‘Oh well, you know me. I’m always interested to see what the new pups have got in store. Lots of these athletes were still too young to be eligible for the last games and I love a wildcard. Who knows? Maybe they’ll show their seniors who’s in need of a new training regimen.’
Announcer: ‘Please welcome the current president of the Olympic Committee, Dire Crowley.’
‘Welcome, welcome! Spectators, coaches, officials, and most importantly, athletes. What an honour it is to be with you tonight at the 27th Olympic Games Opening Ceremony. And how wonderful it is to see more nations represented here than ever before. It is truly marvelous that we continue to make history in a way that can only be made possible by sport. I have no doubt that these forthcoming weeks will not only manifest tales of fierce competition but also those of friendship, bravery, heartbreak, and resilience. The Olympics has always brought forth true displays of magnanimity from our athletes. This year, I expect to see nothing less than the greatest demonstration of Olympic spirit. And now, without further ado, let the games begin!’
Announcer: ‘Please rise for the Olympic anthem and the lighting of the Olympic flame.’
‘That was Dire Crowley, president of the Olympic Committee and former Olympic Champion. He won way back in the day for the now slightly archaic sport of pigeon shooting.’
‘Pigeon shooting? You mean the bird?’
‘Indeed I do, Divus. You can see why I don’t anticipate them bringing the sport back anytime soon.’
‘Oho, certainly.’
‘ahem—Thank you to our audience for tuning in to the Opening Ceremony, brought you live by Night Raven Sports Channel and sponsored by Mystery Emporium and Ramshackle Holiday Resorts. We leave you here tonight with a cultural showcase from each of the participating nations. See you bright and early tomorrow morning for the first event of the games. Have a good night.’