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What an idiot. That guy, he was always such an idiot. Will hated him, well he thought he did. Was it truly ever hate? It was never hatred, even now, even after everything that has happened; no matter what he could do to get himself to think the opposite, that maybe he really did hate him, he just couldn’t. No matter how many times he shouted out meaningless words, although what was seemingly meaningless meant nothing and yet everything to him all at the same time. The thought of hating him felt right, like after all he put him through, all that he has said. He treated Will so cruelly. Mike wasn’t necessarily cruel, at least not always. At least, his brain tried to convince him that Mike wasn’t an asshole, and his brain definitely did a good job gaslighting him into believing that he wasn’t a bad friend. Maybe he’d get better with time. Time. That’s what it took to ruin the friendship, time. He always argued to himself, it was a constant argument with his own brain, always. His brain takes a step back to play this. I love him but I love him not the game. It wasn’t much of a game, it wasn’t very fun.
Will threw himself to the ground with a frustrated huff, wrapping up his previously wounded arm caused by a failed attempt to launch himself over an unpowered electrical fence. This was the first time he was traveling alone, at least without his partner, that was their role. Mike and Will were in charge of scavenging. Not anymore. He murmured hateful words, being totally nasty. He wasn’t able to finish his last sentence, realizing what he was saying was too harsh. At least too harsh of words that he would never say to someone that he definitely did not hate, even just about them. A sudden wave of guilt, he dropped his arm with a hiss. He hit his head on the wall softly, letting himself lean back.
It wasn’t always like this, it used to be so much better, they used to be so much better.
“Will!” The teacher yelled out, the daydreaming boy quickly snapping back to reality. “Sorry Mr. Castello.” Will blinked, realizing that everyone else was staring at him; he was shy, his face turning rosy red as he crawled back into his shell like a turtle. (turtle yay) Mike looked at Will with a what is wrong with you expression, Will caught it super quickly. The teacher resumed talking, as the class’s attention laid back on Mr. Castello. Mike's eyes only stayed on Will, genuine and confused. Will looked away quickly, a hand in his hair as he gently tugged on it. Stop looking at me, stop looking at me playing in his head as he closed his eyes harshly.
After class the first person that came up to Will was Mike, “What happened?” He spoke out, having to catch up to Will since he was walking way too fast. Once he caught up he grabbed Will's hand like he normally did. It made Will have that stupid glow in his eyes, he’d always hold his hand when he believes that Will is upset. It’s something that helps them both, Mike has confirmation that he is wanted around and Will knows that he is not alone.
“Nothing, it was just embarassing.” Will spoke, squeezing his hand as a grounding. He spoke rather quietly, like he normally would during school hours. He was always quiet. “It was pretty embarrassing, Mr. Castello always calls out people for sleeping in class. Why did you even try?” Will looked at him quickly. “I was not even sleeping, I was looking at the window!”
“Did you see something?” He paused, “I mean- when you were looking?” Will simply replied. “No.” He let his hair fall to the front as he hung his head. “It just felt.” He lifted his head once again. “Felt? Felt like what?” Silence on the other end. “Come on Will, talk to me?” Will stopped in his tracks. “I don’t like it. I feel like something is coming.” Will had always been like this, there was an incident that happened when he was younger, but it was getting scarier for Will. Mike could tell, he didn’t like it, at least he didn’t like that Will had to go through it.
Mike and Will were always attached to the hip, it was them before it was anyone else. Mike knew what no one else did about Will, and the same went about Mike. They were soulmates, platonic soulmates, no matter what, in this lifetime they would always have each other. And that’s how it worked, that’s how it always worked.
But ever since…
“WILL!” Mike shouted, shaking him awake from barely even two hours of sleep. “WAKE UP!” He was on top of him, yelling at him, being rough, trying to get him to wake up.
Unbelievable.
Will groaned as he was stirring awake, his eyes puffy and red. “Wwhat..” He croaked, rubbing his eye. Mike laughed, this was funny to him. “You said we were going out today to get materials. And everyone else is hungry, so we have to leave. Like now.” He sat on the edge of Will's mattress staring at him like an idiot. “I’m still going out, Mike.. can’t I just sleeppp..” Mike rolled his eyes at him, he was so freaking annoying. “No. Will. I don’t want to be out all day, and come back late. We're going out now. Get up.” The longer Mike talked and explained, the more Will dozed right back off.
“Will, dude, wake up.” Will felt a sudden hit, a pillow to his face, he fell back a bit, his eyes shot open before quickly returning the favor. “Asshole. I’m already awake.”
He was so annoying, every single day, the same thing. He was always a pain in the ass. But not always, when they were kids he was so sweet. He cared. He cared alot about Will. When they were kids, Will would always sleep over the Wheelers, especially when Joyce wasn’t home. Mike knew about what would happen in the Byers home, and that got Will a free ticket to stay over for as long as he wanted.
Will was respectful, and quiet. It was never an issue. And he made Mike a different person, at least when they were together. A better person.
Mike and Will would always sleep in the basement during the sleepovers, sometimes tangled up within each other. They were comfortable that way. Mike would always wake up first, Will hated mornings. When Mike did wake up, he never bothered waking up Will, he knew that he was going to wake up at some point and they could continue their games from the day before. Mike would watch him sleep for a minute or two, almost like he was making sure he was still alive, and then he would turn on cartoons to distract himself from the fact that Will was still sleeping because it was boring without him.
But now, Will can’t fall asleep, stay asleep, and he’s woken up before he could even refresh himself. He just wants to rest, he’s so tired. Rest sounds like heaven, if only he could lay down and rest forever.
“I’m starvingg.” Mike Whined. “You’re taking too long, asshole.” Will could only side eye him as he was packing his own bag for their adventure with the others. The others knew that look quite well, it was more often now that they would see it. They noticed Mike's sudden attitude change towards Will, and it would be worse on his off days. He didn’t treat anyone else like that. The group almost got in between, wanting to tell Mike to shut up because sometimes there just wasn’t any need for it.
But they never did.
“Will. Don’t forget your walkie this time.” Jonathan spoke out, pushing it into Will's chest for him to grab. “You scared us all half to death last time.” Will's attention switched from Mike to Jonathan with a nod. Taking the walkie and placing it in his bag. Will was reckless, with his own life at least. He had just found something to live for, and then it was stripped away from him. But the same with Mike, this whole situation was hard - for both of them.
This was hard on Mike and Nancy, they lost their parents, their sister and all they really had were each other. Mike was okay for the most part, Will helped him through it, and Mike did the same when his mother fell to the infection. It was something they bonded over, they only had their siblings, and eachother. They mostly had eachother. Atleast, they did.
At the time. They did.
“Mike?” Will and Mike are sitting on the edge of a high abandoned building, Mike's long black hair flowing in the wind. He wasn’t able to cut it due the state of the world and that would be the only thing Will could be grateful for. Will's hair was longer too, they had grown so much since the outbreak. It fit on them. Really well too.
Will looked at Mike, his eyes glowing, the boy he was looking at was so beautiful and he couldn’t help but acknowledge him. The way each strand of hair moved with the wind, the way that he couldn’t tell which speck on his face was dirt or one of his freckles. He was in love with his best friend.
Mike was already scanning Will's face before he even looked at him, but once Will's eyes read through his own they widened. A terrified expression, Mike had to look away. “Yeah Will?” He answered, it was delayed. “Do you think life will be like this forever? Fucked up? And confusing?” Mike had to look at him again, this time with a saddened expression. “It won’t” Mike's hand slipped into Wills, like when they were kids. “We have each other, and we have the group, and somehow Robin will make a super cool machine with Dustin and everything will be fixed again.” We have each other. That made Will smile to himself, letting his head hang low staring at the far away ground.
“Realistically Mike.”
“I am being realistic. We will be known as the ones who save the world. And you documented the whole thing.”
“Yeah right, I didn’t document anything interesting.”
“Not yet.”
Will laughed softly to himself, biting his lip into a smile before playfully shoving Mike. “You’re such a loser.”
Will recorded their surroundings like he had always done, documenting everything. The camera was comically large. Jonathan gave the camcorder to Will when he was a kid, and he kept it around ever since; it was outdated, extremely. Will loved recording everything as a kid, during halloween, and anything that made sense to record. He recorded their campaigns sometimes, the camera always directly across from Mike. Will would always pan a little closer to Mike’s face than anyone else. His stupid face. He loved his stupid face, no matter how rude he was. His hand clenched around the camcorder a bit, not realizing he was alright panning onto Mike instead of everyone else walking.
“Can you stop recording me?” Mike snapped at him. “You have one job.” Will stared at him for a moment, the camcorder slowly panning to the floor as Will held it by his side. Out of annoyance, or defeat. Mike. What a frog face. A stupid idiot frog face. He hated that face. A face that only a mother could love. Will switched directions out of anger, causing Mike to notice quickly. He wasn’t walking behind him now, he was walking besides Dustin. His brows furrowed when they started laughing together, it made him jealous like he didn’t just get angry at Will. They had no reason to be leaving him out. He looked down at the ground, hands stuffed in his pockets kicking rocks he saw while they continuously walked.
Steve and Dustin were leading the group, but now with an addition to Will. It made Mike mad. Ever since that night he was angry.
Will saw something he wanted to record and ran off. Like always. It was endearing, full of curiosity. Will was behind Mike now, finally how it was supposed to be. And they continued to walk, it was finally quiet, no more laughter. And Mike didn’t have to worry about the fact that Will could have been laughing at him, he’d be the joke of their conversations because of how rude he can be. He knew they were secretly conspiring against him.
Will pointed and gasped when he wanted people to look too, and Mike wouldn’t look. He was too stubborn, instead he cut short without warning.
He’d soon regret that decision once Will is suddenly slamming into Mike, who had been walking with his back to him. Will let out a small noise, and so did Mike. He turned around so quickly, looking at Mike. “Mike!” His camcorder fell out of his hand. “Are you okay?” Their faces met for a moment, they were so close. Their faces haven’t been this close in so.. “Get the hell away from me!” Mike shouted and shoved Will as he jumped away from him. “What is wrong with you?” Mike spoke harshly again. Will carefully stepped around the cam as he was unexpectedly shoved. He picked it up once again, staring at Mike with a darkened expression on his face. He was so annoying. “I’m sorry.” His voice was dry, annoyed. He held the camcorder so tightly the texture began imprinting into his hand. “Frog face.” He mumbled, thinking he was so slick and he wouldn’t be heard.
Mike looked back. Will wasn’t quiet enough.
Will gasped quietly, not expecting him to hear him. Did he? There’s no way he didn’t. Why isn’t he saying anything? “What do you want?” He snapped at Mike.
“Stop looking at me like that, if you have an issue say it.” Will was finally sticking up for himself, and this time no one was around to fight this battle with him. Everyone kept on walking away from them. It was just Will and Mike. “You’re going to ignore what you called me? You know I don’t like that name.” Mike finally spoke. “Yeah, and you know I don’t like a lot of things that you do but I guess that doesn’t stop you. But now I have to be careful with what I say?” Mike was taken aback. He stayed silent, before coming up with some bullshit argument.
“Not everything is about you, Will.” He shrugged his shoulders with an attitude, like he was supposed to be right and that what he was saying made complete sense. It didn’t. His arguments were always stubborn and full of things that didn’t even correlate, his mouth moved much faster than his brain.
“Mike, it is about me when you’re the one who is treating me poorly. You just can’t take it when it’s someone else doing it to you.” He didn’t grow out of that phase of his life.
When the apocalypse first happened Lucas was the one who took the heat, Lucas had Max when Mike had lost El. It wasn’t fair. That’s what Mike thought, so he took it out on Lucas. Ever since then they don’t come out together, because they can’t be trusted in a group together. They hang around in communications with Robin.
“Shut up Will, you don’t know anything. You just can’t get over the fact that I don’t want what you want.” What the hell did that even mean? “I don’t get why you are so angry at me, "You aren’t even making any sense.” He just wanted to have a normal conversation for once, but they never could.
“Stop bringing up our past, we're done. I don’t want you, Will.” He could only blink at him. “You are the one who brought it up, do you love pointing fingers so much?”
“Why do you expect everything from me, Will?” Will got closer, as if he was unable to hear him. “What. Mike. What am I expecting from you?” He replied, genuine and firm.
“You’re expecting me to figure out my emotions, and figure everything out for you. You want me to do all of this while there’s an apocalypse going on and that’s not right.” Will let out an aggravated sigh, are we serious? “I never told you to do anything, I’ve given you so much space. If you are talking about that night, you did that. I didn’t force you to do anything. You’re projecting onto me now.” Will takes a deep breath before continuing.
“I don’t get it, I don’t. So you’re mad at me for something that you did.” He stared at Mike like he was stupid, to be honest, right now he definitely was. He thought for a moment, “is that the reason you’ve been ignoring me?”
“I didn’t do it. It didn’t mean anything.” Mike argued back, those words will haunt Will Byers forever.
“It meant everything to me!” Will's tone got emotional, he wasn’t defending himself anymore he was simply just pleading for Mike to understand him. Literally any progress that they could make, he wanted it.
“That’s not my problem!”
“Yes. It kind of is.”
“How?”
“That night, all of what happened, you decided that you wanted to-” Will felt a sudden shove on his chest, rougher than usual. He took a moment to breathe before shoving him back. What the hell, what the actual hell was his issue. Mike shoved back once again, turning this into a game, they continued to shove each other. The shoves got harsher as this ‘game’ continued. “I don’t understand why you want me to be gay so badly!” He spoke so confidently. His tone came off way worse than Mike truly intended.
“What are you even talking about, I never brought that up.. I don’t want you to be anything that you don’t want to be Michael. I don’t understand why you are blaming me for what happened that night!” Will stopped shoving back, staring at him, his voice cracking.
“I just don’t want you to leave me because of what happened, I’m not pushing you to do anything. You won’t listen to me, we can go back to being best frie-” Will was shoved to the ground as Mike stood above him. — It was such a hard shove, it actually hurt. Will picked himself up, balancing himself on his hands as he sat up, staring up at Mike. “Asshole.” Will was angry, embarrassed, wishing that he could just disappear. Be anywhere but here, but no, he was looking up at his once best friend who is acting out after years of being close. “If you hate me for that night then stop pushing into my life just to be rude again.”
Mike dropped onto Will, grabbing his collar and shaking him. “It’s not that! Will you’re an idiot! Stop being selfish and only thinking about yourself in this situation. Why aren’t you considering how I feel?” Wills eyes widened “Selfish?” His breath hitched “I’m being selfish. Right. Mike, all I am is considering your feelings.” Mike shook him again, actually who the hell did he think he was. “Mike stop!” Will shouted grabbing ahold of his wrist, Mike looked so angry at him, it was so familiar. That look.
It wasn’t a look Mike gave him often, or at all. It wasn’t a facial expression he ever even saw on him. Only one person ever looked at him with that expression, from his childhood. It was scary. Will couldn’t help it, he wasn’t a little boy anymore and he wasn’t going to be helpless like he used to be whenever Jonathan and mom weren't home; no, he wasn’t going to.
Will's fist picked itself up out of fear, swinging right into Mike's face, hitting the point in between his nose and lips. Mike fell back sitting himself on the ground as he cups his hand underneath his face, catching all of the blood that was pouring from his nose. Will fell back, catching himself. “What the hell!” His tone was harsh. Will would never in a million years think about hurting Mike, but the way he looked at him, the way he was talking to him. That wasn’t his Mike. Will could only look at him and breathe heavily, he was shaken up. “Mike..” His voice was unsteady.
“I’m not forcing you to figure it out.” Will spoke with a heavy tone, like he was on the verge of crying.
“You keep mentioning it.” Mike was speaking almost with sarcasm, he could never actually take these situations seriously. He wiped the blood away, his own hand shaking.
“Because you won’t!” His hand shot up, as if Mike couldn’t hear his words loud enough and it’d help him speak louder.
“I’m not like you Will!” Mike yelled, he was getting tired of this argument.
“What is that supposed to mean?” And so was Will.
“I’m not gay, Will.” He was so, so serious. He was making total sense in his head. That man is so stupid.
Will could only stare at him to catch his breath. “Are you that mad about it because it would make you that way? Is that what it is?”
“Shut up Will, I didn’t mean it like that.” Mike was frustrated, his words weren’t coming out the way that he intended them to. That made him even more mad, he could only really speak clearly when he was talking to Nancy about this.
“You’re ashamed of me.” He shuffled closer to Mike. “Is that what it is?” Mike internally freaked out. The more he spoke the situation got worse; he couldn’t figure out what he could say that would fix this, and it was getting worse. Mike Wheeler is a mess.
“Will, see? You only think about yourself, I’m telling you the way that I feel right now and you’re saying that I’m being whatever towards you? I’m not, shut up?” Mike couldn’t explain it, that was his problem, he didn’t even understand it himself. “That’s what it sounds like! You’re the one who kissed me, Mike! You initiated it! And you are ashamed of me?”
He shouted it, he actually shouted it; it was a deafening sentence. The scene felt like feedback from a microphone blaring all around them, Mike couldn’t think of how to react, he didn’t even know where he was in the moment because the only thing that he could think of was the fact that Will just spoke on the can of worms he wasn’t quite ready to open.
Will was tackled back to the ground, Mike was on top of him this time. Mike was frustrated, so much that he started crying, Mike has never been this rough with Will.. He had only seen it with adults. More so, when was a kid. But, he swung on Will, then continuously. Will shouted, tried to block him.
The grass around them shuffled, as if something or someone was moving through it.
Mike's punches grew less and less, yet they didn’t stop. Quiet sobs could be heard as he slowing down, mumbling something probably about Will.
Dustin and Steve stormed out of the grass, they expected to see a hoard of zombies but were met of the scene, Will under Mike, they didn’t take even a second before trying to pull Mike off of Will. They’d never thought that it would get this bad. Yet, it did. The moment moved slowly.
“Are you okay?” Mike spoke softly at the crying little boy in front of him. “Will? Was it your dad again?” The small boy sat down next to him. He grabbed his hand, like he always did.
“Mike! Mike! Get off of him!” Steve pulled on him, but it wasn’t breaking. He was grabbing onto Will, as if he meant every single hit. He was grabbing so hard the fabric of his dirty fleece shirt ripped a bit.
“I’ll protect you, when we are older, I’ll be stronger.” He looked over at him, with a small nod. It was reassuring.
“Enough Mike! Get off!” They were finally able to break the grip, but remained struggling as he did not let up. Mike kept trying to fight, he really meant everything in this moment.
“Promise?” Will spoke, rubbing his eyes clean from tears. He held out his pinky from his unbusy hand. “Pinky promise.” Mike connected their pinkies.
A broken promise. A broken friendship. Ever since that night, that stupid night.
Mike's hand tightens, interlocked with Wills, his head resting on his shoulder as they watch the moon, the glare from the bright light flooded Will's eyes.
“When should we head back? Robin cuts off comms after 11pm” Will spoke in a soft tone, they were on this building all day and the energy was calm. So much calmer than it has been lately. “Soon. Not now, just a bit longer.” Mike's replies were drifty. “Are you falling asleep right now?” Will looked down at him as Mike looked up. “I’m not asleep.” Will didn’t let him explain himself, he quickly shooed him off of his shoulder.
They had to get back in one piece. And they were good at that, staying out late and returning back safely.
The light of the moon illuminated Will's face, and Mike couldn’t help but watch every movement. He watched the way Will reached into his own pocket, and how he took the box of cigarettes out and opened them. The way that his hands slipped on the cardboard, it was so dark, but he could make everything out perfectly. The silhouette of Will, everything.
“Mike?” Will had a loud volume, completely snapping Mike out of a trance. “Lighter please.” Mike had to take a moment to understand what Will was asking, and yet he still couldn’t. “What?” He simply responded, idiot. “Lighter.. You have it. Can I have it?” Mike blinked at him stupidly for a moment before responding “Oh! Oh yeah, lighter. Yeah.” He laughed it off, he totally just played it off right. “Mike… Give it to me, what the hell?” Mike quickly grabbed it after having to be told three times. “Thanks…” Mike nodded. “Yeah. Yep.” He was embarrassed right now, but he was totally playing it off. In his head! Will lit a cigarette by placing it in between his lips, the flame lit up his face. Mike could only stare at his lips this time, the way that they were around the cigarette, it made him nervous, he wasn’t sure why. He always felt this way, that was true, but there was something so strong that made him want Will right now. Will Byers. His childhood best friend. Best friend. No. No. He must be crazy.
He was crazy enough to scooch closer to Will, leaning in slightly and still not being caught. He watched Will breathe in the smoke, which meant the cigarette flew out next, those were the steps. Right? Mike took no chance, forgetting completely about the third and final step before he connected his lips with Wills. Both of their eyes shot open, like they couldn’t believe what was happening. Third step, blowing out the smoke. Out of surprise Will blew the smoke into Mike's mouth quickly causing him to choke and cough, breaking the kiss. Mike kept coughing, and Will could only sit and watch with the occasional hand out gesture as if he were going to comfort him. Once Mike stopped coughing he started at Will.
He knew that no matter what, nobody could know about the night that he spent with his best friend.
He didn’t want to remember it.