Chapter Text
Neil Josten wished he had a cigarette right now. Not to smoke, but the acrid smell of nicotine would mask the phantom scent of disinfectant lingering in his nose. But it was hard enough to get food; he didn’t need to put a target on his back by lingering too close to the register of the only grocery store in town. The tired cashier, a college drop out living with her parents again to save on rent (she complained about her mother constantly, in a loud enough voice that Neil could hear everything she said from the opposite end of the store), hadn’t caught onto him yet - but this was more due to her tendency to disappear into the breakroom for extended periods of time with her girlfriend than due to his stealth. So he inhaled deeply and headed back to the bus graveyard instead. The walk back wasn’t long enough to distract him from his cravings; as he slipped inside, he settled down out of sight and let the musk of motor oil do its subpar job of filling his senses.
His focus was interrupted however, as he heard footsteps approaching. He was near enough to the gate that he could hear people passing by on their way down the street to the apartment complexes tucked away in the forest. But rarely did they make their way down the gravel path to the gate itself. Slowly, he ignored the way his stomach lurched and moved into a crouching position.
He strained his ears and made out the sound of footsteps stopping right beside the gate entrance. There was the scuff of sneakers and the click of a lighter. Smoke trailed into the dusky sky, and despite the close call, Neil let the fragrance wash over him.
He stayed hidden behind the crates and barrels until a faint cry was heard in the distance. Neil tensed at the tone - even distance couldn’t hide the anger - but the footsteps receded and he was alone yet again.
He stayed outside a few minutes longer, lingering despite the dew soaking the hem of his jeans until he could be sure it was safe to move. Slipping away from the front of the compound - where crates and barrels and parts lay about haphazardly, some rusting in the weeds sprouting up between the concrete slabs - he made his way into the shadows.
The abandoned buses further away from the road were in worse condition than those near the entrance, but the jagged torn metal, molding cushions and rat shit were worth the extra privacy. Things weren’t as bad now - Neil found an abandoned too-small hoodie on the sidewalk by the school and took advantage of a summer rainstorm to clean up one of the buses. It took the better part of a day, his arms aching from filling a leaky bucket over and over again to drench the floors and scrub the floors out with the worn-out, stained flannel. He’d nearly passed out when he finished on the slick metal. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better not to leave the space noticeably clean. If anyone did venture inside the lot, spotlessless would be a glaring sign that someone had been living here. He doubted any of the townspeople would care, but you could never be too careful. A loose-lipped old lady or a gossiping teen could give everything away if his father’s people ever showed up. Better to live in filth and adjust to the feeling of spiders and ants crawling over him at night than to wake up again in sterile rooms in his father’s control.
He should have been long on his way, off to a different city, a different state, a different country, even - his mother would have beaten him to hell and back for staying in the same place for so long. She had always been on the move, thinking of nothing but the next set of identities. She was gone now, nothing but charred remains on the Georgia coastline, her bones buried by the sea she despised.
“You’re trapped out there,” she had said when Neil had asked why she was so reluctant to leave the mainland. They had, of course, but only out of necessity. “Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.”
If there was one thing she’d hated, it was being out of options. Neil was squandering her effort now, wasting the life she had given up for his sake, but he was tired. He was exhausted from the running and the flights and the endless stretches of highway in nondescript cars that Neil learned how to drive before his voice had even dropped. That would never have mattered to Mary, but she was gone, and Neil forced himself to curl into a ball on one of the less mildewy seats.
He was here, and she was gone. He would figure it out, but for now, he would ignore the shadowy figures lurking in the corners of his vision and let sleep claim him.
His solution was the furthest thing from what Mary would have chosen, but when Neil took stock of his assets and options, his unforgivably reckless plan was the best he could come up with. High school was wildly unfamiliar to him - while on paper, he was an 18-year old finishing up a high school senior from home due to religious conflicts (the last identity Mary had obtained for him), in reality, his formal education had been hit or miss since he was in middle school. His forays into the high school experience didn’t bear remembering, since most of his enrollments didn’t last past a few months at most. Nevertheless, high school would provide free meals, a place to shower, and shelter for the majority of the day. Once he got accustomed to the building and its security, he could figure out how to break in for a more permanent solution than his school bus graveyard home.
It was the first day of school, and the halls were teeming with life as he handed his records into the receptionist. She squinted at the documents and sent him to wait while she pulled up his schedule and printed it up for him. It took a few minutes to slot him into classes with openings, but fifteen minutes later, Neil was sliding into his homeroom seat just as the bell rang to signal the start of class. He made sure to play the role of a quiet, studious senior, scribbling down notes of everything his teacher said and keeping his head down to avoid making eye contact with his fellow classmates.
His gamble paid off. During the few minutes at the end of the period, their teacher gave them time to socialize, and no one approached him.
History was next on his paper print-out, and when he entered the class, he found himself searching for the desk with his name on it. The seating arrangement put him next to the window and beside an Andrew and Aaron M. Both of their names had been called out during rollcall in homeroom. They were identical twins and one of them had been chatting with his classmates while the other kept his bored gaze on the clock above the projector.
Their teachers’ announcement that they would have a group project and class trip was as unwelcome for Neil as it was for everyone else, judging by the groans that erupted after Mr. Smalls finished writing group assignments on the whiteboard. The scraping of chairs filled the room as students moved furniture to huddle together and read the handouts passed around. Neil accepted their groups’ papers from the people next to him and turned his attention back to the students he’d been assigned to work with.
They had all gathered around Aaron’s desk as it was the most centrally located. His twin eventually turned around in his chair, but just re-fixed his gaze on the clock at the back of the room instead.
The group went around and introduced themselves. Neil kept his short, only providing his name and grade. Kevin Day was possibly the only person in the class excited by the assignment, and he had taken up the majority of their allotted time rambling about the historical significance of Savannah, Georgia. Following his display of enthusiasm, Jean Moreau next to him looked as enthused as Andrew was, if that was possible. Their thick French accent nearly gave Neil a heart attack - it sounded far too similar to the people he’d met during his time in Canada - but he soon realized that they hailed from France. He was able to calm his stomach with a few deep breaths as he refocused on the last member of the group, Nicky Hemmick. He was already 18, trying to finish high school while working nights at Eden’s Twilight, a local nightclub.
“You didn’t hear that last part from me, though,” he added with an exaggerated wink. “Best way to get ass while paying the bills!”
Kevin looked distinctly uncomfortable while Aaron rolled his eyes. “Can you not talk about that in school?”
“Not everyone has the luxury of benefiting from heteronormativity,” Nicky said breezily, leaning back in his seat and kicking his feet up on the desk. Jean scooted their chair away from Nicky’s side with a frown. Meanwhile, Andrew reached over and forcibly pushed his sneakers back onto the ground, unbothered by how the shove nearly sent Nicky crashing to the floor.
“We’re cousins,” Nicky said apologetically, once he’d righted himself. For whatever reason, he directed the statement mostly at Neil. “They’re little assholes, but I love them!”
“Shut up,” Aaron grumbled. “You’re disgusting.”
An odd expression passed over Nicky’s face at his cousin’s statement, but it was quickly replaced by a bright smile.
Mr. Smalls reminded the class that there were only five minutes remaining in the period, and their group scrambled to look at the syllabus and handouts with the time they had left. Courtesy of Kevin, they split ways with a rough plan in place - and threats of pain if any member failed to live up to their assignment.
Neil wasn’t too surprised when Nicky walked beside him to his next class. “I’m right next door!” he proclaimed proudly after Neil told him where he was headed. “But don’t be too put off by Kevin. He’s such a hardass - if he doesn’t get an A on everything, he loses his mind. I’ve known him for years - really hoped moving in with Coach Wymack - well, he’s not a coach anymore but he used to be and now he does stuff for kids in juvie and rehab and he was my coach when I was here the first time - anyways, I really thought Coach would help him loosen up but I guess it’s not that easy. Here we are.” Nicky ended his ramble with a flourish at two classrooms right next to each other. Their doors were propped open. “You have anyone to sit with at lunch?” Neil shook his head just as the bell rang and Nicky pushed Neil’s shoulder lightly into the closing door. “Meet me out here, I’ll walk you!” he said as he disappeared into his own class.
Neil did his best to be invisible as his English Lit teacher droned on. The unassigned seats meant he could sit closer to the back of the class while still being near one of the windows, but even the easy escape option and plentiful sunlight wasn’t enough to keep him awake. More than once, he found himself drifting off only to be jerked back into reality. Only the ringing in his ears kept bringing him back to himself as the period dragged on. Finally, the teacher dismissed them and Neil barely made it out the door before Nicky was back at his side, herding him down the hall with the rest of the students with an early lunch period.
Nicky warned him as they entered the cafeteria that the food sucked, but staring down at his tray, Neil didn’t think it was worth complaining over. He could eat anything, after years of canned vegetables and ramen noodles and other non-perishables being his only diet, with Mary occasionally force-feeding him when he protested the limited options too much in his younger days. He could still feel her hand clamping down over his mouth and nose. She would hold him in place with the other arm until he had no choice but to swallow the mushy globs of cold peas and carrots on his plate. The mystery meat and glue-like mashed potatoes were hardly worth thinking twice about. At least it was hot - he hadn’t been able to heat anything up without worrying about the rising smoke drawing attention to his temporary home.
Nicky led him to a table near the back, and Neil stopped in his tracks when he saw Aaron and Andrew already seated. He made himself join them, sliding into place next to Nicky and across from Andrew, who was making a volcano out of his mashed potatoes and gravy. Neil thought he ate quickly, but Aaron’s plate was empty before he was even halfway through his serving. Neither twin spoke, but Nicky seemed excited to fill the silence with meaningless chatter, occasionally pausing to take a bite of his lunch before changing the subject and moving onto something else.
Neil let it wash over him as he finished his lunch.
The rest of the day was a blur, with Neil going from class to class and trying to map all of the exits and hiding spots in the building. He was in a sea full of strangers for his fourth period, which gave him time to orient himself in the building in his mind; drawing anything out would be too obvious if his notebooks were ever discovered.
He encountered Jean in fifth period Physics. They were seated as far back from the teacher as humanly possible. Neil avoided eye contact with them, and they didn’t approach him, seeming intent on taking detailed notes while Coach Moriyama, who was also the gym teacher, went over the rigorous syllabus and outlined his expectations of them.
Neil was in the hallway when a sneaker whizzed past his face. Dodging to the right, he nearly ran into a group of students who scowled at his near miss.
“It’s just Riko,” one of them said. “Chill the fuck out.”
Neil turned back down the hallway in time to see who he could only assume was Riko striding in his direction. He vaguely remembered him from their last period, but he paid no attention to Neil, choosing instead to grab Jean by their collar and slam them face-first into a nearby trashcan. Jean flailed to regain their balance while Riko aimed a volley of brutal kicks at their jean-clad legs. The last of these was a smack of his textbook against Jean’s upper thighs. Neil could hear the strangled scream that Jean tried to cut off from 6 feet away.
It only took that many steps for Neil to reach Jean - everyone else was either giving them a wide berth or standing to the sidelines, laughing at Riko’s violence.
With one hand, Neil grabbed Jean by the back of their shirt and yanked them upright. With the other, he shoved Riko back. Putting himself between the pair, he watched as Riko sneered, looking incredulous.
“How dare you interfere? Who are you?” he spat.
Neil could feel Jean shaking from where they were pressed up against Neil’s back. “Who are you?” he countered. “Oh, wait, I know. You’re just some asshole who thinks picking on someone weaker than you will resolve your plethora of personal issues.”
Riko didn’t respond, but his eyes flicked over his shoulder, and Neil turned around in time to see Coach Moriyama approaching rapidly. A unified gasp rose from the onlookers, and they quickly busied themselves as the teacher came to stop by Riko’s side.
“What is the meaning of this?” he barked. “It’s the first day and you’re already picking fights, Josten?”
Neil felt his stomach drop. Coach Moriyama already knew his name, and that alone was setting off alarm bells in his mind. “He started it.” He motioned to Riko, but faltered when he saw how smug Riko looked.
“Riko?”
“It was just some teasing, nothing serious,” Riko said. “Then this nobody came along and put his hands on me.” This seemed to be enough for Coach, because he nodded and sent Riko along.
Riko took a couple of steps back but notably did not leave. The smirk on his face told Neil everything he needed to know.
“Moreau,” Coach snapped, turning back to the other two. “My office. Now. And Josten?”
Neil looked at him and he was sure the man could see the disdain in his gaze. “This is the first day, so I will let you off with a warning. But you lay your hands on my son or any other student again, and you can join Moreau in my office and find out how we handle disrespect around here.”
It all clicked then - Riko’s arrogance and Coach’s ready acceptance of his excuses. Riko was his son. For a nauseating moment, the smell of disinfectant and the sting of a needle piercing his arm washed over him. The warning bell rang for their last period, mixing with the ringing in his ears. Neil refused to look at anything but Coach and his piercing gaze. He didn’t need to see to know the phantoms would be lurking just out of sight.
Coach shoved Jean down the hall in front of him while Riko sauntered down the hall. Neil had no choice but to follow him, keeping as much distance between them while practically jogging to his sixth period study hall. His caution was useless, however, because Riko turned into the same room he did, and Neil was left with no choice but to take the only open seat - the one directly in front of him as the teacher began taking attendance. Thankfully, Riko seemed intent on being a model student and left Neil alone, but he could still feel his eyes fixated on the back of his head regardless.