Archive of Our Own

It was over.

Kaito was a master at optimism — more so for others than himself — but even he couldn’t pretend there was a solution to this.

All his life, he had only one goal: to go to space and touch the stars. While the latter wasn’t quite possible as he found out later, he’d been dead set on this goal all his life.

Nothing got in his way. Too poor to study for the tests? There was not only a good local library some stations away, but he also had the luck of living in the ‘internet age’, as his grandparents put it. JAXA barely sent astronauts? Well, NASA (and other countries) did so; he only needed to study more languages, easy. They said he was too young to take the test? Nothing a little fake documents couldn’t fix.

Kaito wasn’t born with luck — he made it happen with sheer effort. He didn’t have the background, grades (at first), or financial situation to become an astronaut. More than anyone else, he knew it would only ever happen if he put blood and sweat into it.

And so he did. Oh, how much he did.

Only for it all to come crashing down.

Everything he’d dreamed about, planned, studied and exercised like hell… to go up in smokes. Just like that, his body betrayed him at the cruelest time.

He was finally here, in Hope's Peak Academy, so close to his dream he could touch it. Reaching the cosmos was no longer his most important childhood wish, but an actual possibility now. No, more than possibility: he was going to make it. He’d been selected as an ultimate after risking everything for the exam — and he doesn’t regret faking his identity.

In the end, the result is what matters. It was just a matter of time. Just a little bit more and he’d graduate Hope’s Peak and go straight to the NASA program…

Kaito Momota was going to be the youngest astronaut in history. He’d make his grandparents, who spent all his savings on his education, so proud and he’d be there, right in space, looking at Earth from so far away-

And it was all over.

His dream crashed and burned in less than a week. To think that annoying cough was a symptom of a disease... who could have known?

No, that was absolutely a lie. Kaito was too used to lying by now — about who he was, to others, and to himself… so much so that he thought (prayed, really) that the coughing was just a bad flu. When blood started to appear, he concluded it was indigestion and that was it.

That had to be it because there’s no way his body, of all things, was betraying him now.

After everything he did, not just the physical training, but the discipline it brought with it, following a strict diet regime, learning languages and formulas nonstop, all of that… for what?

To lie down on his bed now, like a loser, too tired from crying?

He can no longer go to space.

And Kaito can’t tell anyone, ever. Dying is better than having someone know.

Hope’s Peak is going to remove his ultimate status when they find out. He can’t even bring himself to imagine what to do next. Going to his grandparents and admitting he was kicked out of everything, school, astronaut program? Prove that he was what everyone probably thought of him (secretly)? What Kaito himself thought of the so-called ‘Luminary of the Stars’?

Just a damn ridiculous failure.

Training in such conditions became unbearable. Less so because of the strenuous exercise, funnily enough, but because Kaito couldn’t bear to see his assistants’ bright eyes now. Who was he to make them follow him, trust in him, when he didn’t achieve a damn thing? Shuichi was already a detective, regardless of what the shorter boy believed, and Maki was a full-fledged badass assassin.

It was already a stretch that Kaito made them think he was all that when he didn’t even go to space yet. Didn’t even accomplish a damn thing in his life when he was surrounded by people of his age who did it all and more.

He was surrounded by truly talented people, most of whom had long accomplished their dreams. Some of them were already fully fledged professionals well-known in their field of work. They already earned a good enough salary to the point where work was more of a choice for them.

And Kaito was just a little boy who still dreamed of going to space and had nothing to show for it. His title as an ultimate was a promise, as he liked to call it. Now, he saw it was just a child’s little wish.

At first, he thought Ouma was the same. His title was even more of a joke and straight out of a child’s playtime – as Kaito knew very well because he liked to call himself ‘the bestest pirate captain ever’ or ‘the undying coolest hero in the world’. Ouma was just playing even as a teenager.

But as it turned out, even the little asshole was closer to his ultimate title than Kaito. Sure, ‘ultimate supreme leader’ was silly – but a bit cool, which Kaito would never admit, even under the biggest torture – but Ouma had true leadership skills. And they weren’t in your face like Akamatsu’s, it was the type of thing you only realized you followed his plans to the letter after it was all said and done.

He admitted once to Kaito that he didn’t want to steal her thunder and was happy to just plan things out and make them happen. Usually, Kaito would’ve brushed it off as a lie, but it was an unusual day for them, really. It was after one of their worst public fights. They interrupted class and actually punched each other. He didn’t even remember the exact things they said but it was, as always, Ouma wanting Maki to leave the school. Kaito wishes he could understand the reason for their animosity.

They were forced to clean three classrooms after that fight and maybe it was the fact that it was just them (and there was no need to perform their roles anymore) but something made them just sit down and open up – well, as much as they could. Kaito himself had a really hard time admitting to even the smallest inconveniences. He couldn’t let himself appear weak or untalented, especially with such stars around them.

Somehow, he felt Ouma was the only one who got it. Both really respected and liked Shuichi, who didn’t see how capable he was, and the same as Akamatsu, who did have confidence in herself but could overdo her good intentions. Ouma didn’t think much of his talent and he didn’t believe he fit in the class.

That was the first time Kaito saw Ouma for who he was. A cast-out who wanted (but couldn’t) fit in. A liar who wanted trust and closeness but couldn’t offer it himself – would even spit at those who offered. A total contradiction. A jackass.

Pretty much like Kaito himself.

Somehow, he found solace in hanging out with Ouma after that. Their fights never really got violent anymore. Their arguments were more for motivating each other and fighting off boredom (on Ouma’s side).

After Kaito realized the coughing didn’t stop and the blood started, he knew he couldn’t stay around his classmates anymore. And as much as Ouma felt comfortable now, his gaze was too sharp and intelligent. Kaito couldn’t let him expose his (new, public) weakness to everyone.

He couldn’t leave this school now. Not when he was so close to his dream. Not when he found a place he (wanted to) belong… when he could actually become something of worth.

So he starts avoiding Shuichi and Maki first. Then he excuses himself from gym classes — they’re not obligatory to the ultimates and who’s keeping score anyway? — and eventually, he pulls away from the rest of the class. Sure, he’s still always eating with everyone and joining in, but it’s a little difficult to spend hours together when blood gets in the way every couple of hours.

Kaito expected Akamatsu would be the most difficult one to evade, what with her class president position and her (used to be wonderful, now it’s just annoying) endless caring disposition.

Turns out Ouma is the one who doesn’t leave him alone. Every time Kaito goes to escape and cough, the little asshole is right around the corner. Getting away from him becomes more and more difficult.

Last time, Kaito had to actually slap the leader’s back too strongly ‘by accident’ so he had enough time to escape and spill out all the blood in the sink — only then realizing he got into the girls’ bathroom.

If Ouma suspected anything, he didn’t say anything. It was creepier feeling his eyes on his jacket’s back than anything the boy could’ve said.

It’s a day before Golden Week now and everyone is making preparations to leave to visit their families or their places of study. Kaito was going to see his grandparents, just like he did the last two years — technically. His friends knew that for a fact, mercifully never invited him for anything during this holiday, and his grandparents were under the impression that he’d spend time with his friends.

Such a little lie (to his standards in particular) so why did he feel so guilty?

He loved his grandparents so much and was so grateful for everything they did for him. His classmates were some of the best people he knew — yeah, even Ouma and Tsumugi, though they were weird as well — and some of the closest friends he’d ever made.

And yet why couldn’t he stop lying to them?

Why was he still keeping up this charade?

Kaito already knew why — he always did. Ever since he was a kid, he knew there was nothing special about him. He got some attention by boasting, sure, especially from ugly people. But that type of attention usually died out pretty quickly, especially when actual talent and charisma appeared. Kaito could only hold their attention if he was special.

Deep down, he knew he wasn’t. But getting into Hope’s Peak gave him hope – hah, maybe the blood up his throat was making him dumber, to find this funny – that someday, maybe, he could be too. Even if now he wasn’t up to par with his classmates (or even his kouhai), there was always the possibility he’d get there someday.

When he would truly earn the title of ‘Luminary of the Stars’.

But it was all some stupid childhood dream. His body was getting worse by the day, and he couldn’t even bring himself to stand up for long. He was always escaping class by finding some excuse and even makeup wasn’t covering his paleness — so he knew how to apply foundation, leave him alone. Just another important astronaut skill.

It was getting to a point where he, with his acting skills, wasn’t really convincing anyone. He knew of a fact many of his classmates suspected something was very wrong. Most would thankfully keep to themselves like Shinguji, Ryoma and Tsumugi.

The problem was the ones who couldn’t leave him alone. Who were always asking why he was sweaty, why he was so tired when the day barely began, if he needed help for something — it was unbearable being close to K1-B0, Shuichi, Maki, and Akamatsu. When all of them were together, it was nigh impossible to escape. Last time, he was only able to escape when Ouma brought Gonta and a legion of bugs behind him, the supreme leader running panicked more than anyone in the group.

Kaito would have to thank him for that. Somehow, the little gremlin was the one who helped him escape the most recently. He knew the asshole knew. But Ouma never brought it up after the very first day he commented on how sickly Kaito looked.

Of all people, his silence was the most unexpected. And for some reason, the one that made Kaito feel almost… disappointed. He couldn’t pinpoint why.

Now wasn’t the time for that. He made a note to send a text to Ouma during the holidays while he’d go away to some mountain lodge he rented (thanks, Hope's Peak money). Maybe some mountain air would do him good.

Being away from everyone would give him peace of mind. And didn’t people say that mountain pure air cured pneumonia? Or was that something he saw in a movie?

He wasn’t sure anymore… his mind was getting foggier and it was difficult to concentrate. Funny, he didn’t even get up yet. He kept hitting snooze on his alarm and he had no idea what time it was.

By now, Kaito couldn’t remember how many times he fell asleep, only to be woken up by his coughing. His phone kept lighting up with messages but he couldn’t focus on anything. There was no strength left in his body to move even his fingers.

It was like his mind knew what he had to do (‘pick up the phone, damn it, answer people and say I’m okay, just out running or something’, or ‘go get up and take a shower, I’ll feel better’) but his body seemed like a separate entity.

The email he received from NASA kept appearing in his mind. Then the one from JAXA. Then the one from Russia… then that final nail in the coffin from China…

No, Kaito couldn’t think of that.

If he did, he felt he’d get dragged to a hole he couldn’t get out of.

But what was the point of him even being here if he wasn’t good enough?

If he was just an excuse for an ultimate, what was the point of trying?

Of existing?

Even his coughing seemed to get more distant. He wasn’t sure if he was coughing up blood or not — by now, he’d gotten too used to the taste of blood in his mouth.

He needed water. He needed something for his throat so badly.

Where was his medication?

Where was his phone? He was sure it was right next to him, right there, shining…

He- he needed to tell his grandparents he was fine. That he was going to see them tomorrow. Tell his friends he was fine too, that they’d get in touch after the holiday…

He needed-

When Kaito wakes up, it’s to the sweet relief of something cold in his head. His throat seems better now, like he drank something. But he doesn’t remember doing that…

There was also light from down the hallway, far away enough that it didn’t hurt his eyes. The room was still dark, so his eyes were getting used to it. He could hear birds outside and that same window was definitely open. But he didn’t remember doing any of that. How could he, when he wasn’t even able to get up?

But he felt better now. This coolness was so good that his head seemed much lighter. He could feel it was a wet towel and there seemed to be a water basin by his side.

How did that get in there?

Hearing some light movement from that same side, he’s terrified by the bright eyes staring at him in the dark. Like some cat, the eyes just watched. For a second there, he thought some demonic cat got into his room and was going to take his soul, but then he focused more as his eyes grew accustomed to the low light.

It was just Ouma.

Breathing in relief, Kaito smiled. He was too tired to even wonder why he’d even feel relief when his ultimate rival was right there, somehow magically in his room, while looking down at him when he was at his weakest.

With that relief, shame appeared right after. Of all the people in this academy, Ouma was the very last one who wanted to see him like this.

Like some loser dying in a bed.

It’s like there’s a spell between them. One is waiting for the other to say something. Kaito knows by now that when Ouma is like that — his face completely blank, his eyes so serious, so still, just staring and staring — there’s no way to get him to talk first. So Kaito bites the bullet.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” His voice was so rough it even surprised him. Even though his throat felt better, the result of all that coughing and not drinking any water got to him.

Ouma’s eyes didn’t change much but they seemed to relax a little. Mellow down a bit, even. But Kaito couldn’t really tell in this dim light. He wondered how Ouma managed to walk around and bring him a towel (and apparently cover him with sheets properly?) in this dark room.

“There are such things as doorknobs and locks but it seems like you don’t know how to use either.” Ouma said evenly. “Or how a shower works.” His words are cruel, but his tone is even, unaffected — too unaffected to feel real.

Shit, did Kaito forget to lock the door? He barely remembered what he did yesterday afternoon when he got to his room, in a fit of coughing. He beelined straight to bed and just slept. But something in his mind tells him that even if Kaito had locked it, Ouma would’ve just lockpicked it anyway.

Okay, he was grateful for the help, but he wasn’t going to take shit-talking lying down, especially not like this. He felt a cough threatening to burst anytime now.

He had to get Ouma out of there before he went into another long fit.

“Leave me alone, dude. Not in the mood.” Every word was painful to get out of his mouth.

Ouma narrowed his eyes for a second — damn, they shone so much in the dark, truly like a cat. Or more like a panther, some dangerous predator ready to strike — and then he felt his towel being taken away.

“Hey-!” Kaito tried to say but there it was: his coughing fit returned in full glory.

Of course, fate hated his ass. Not only did it deny his only dream, but now he was being a broken mess in front of the only person who couldn’t see him like this. The only person he had to impress, no matter what-

Kaito turned to his side, trying to suppress the coughing, but it only made it worse. Almost biting his lips, it was like his body was being possessed. Like something being dragged out of him, he crouched and just kept coughing. He couldn’t even think during this fit, just like the last ones. Only after it ended, he realized two things.

Good news: he hadn’t coughed up blood this time.

Bad news: he was in fucking fetal position now.

In front of Ouma.

Kaito wanted to die. This was beyond humiliating.

“This is sad, Momota-chan.” Ouma said in that awful fake evenly tone again. Like he was holding himself back from showing total disgust.

The words pierced Kaito. Somehow, this hurt more than any coughing fit — even the ones that drew blood.

But then Ouma gently set a new, cold towel on his forehead. The relief from the heat was unreal.

Kaito was so enjoying the respite of the cold that he didn’t notice a small bottle tipping his lips.

“Drink up, Momota-chan! It’s ambrosia, the nectar of the gods!” Ouma sang the words, but his hand was firmly holding the vial.

“Is it poison?” Kaito had to ask. You never knew with Ouma.

That question got him a snort and a full press of the bottle into his mouth.

Kaito was only worried for a fraction of a second, because then the sweetest thing he ever tasted was going down his throat, like honey. But this wasn’t honey. He had no damn idea what it was, but it was delicious. Not too warm or too cold, just the right temperature for his sore throat. He gulped down eagerly, mourning the loss of the liquid too soon. There was almost nothing in the little flask, like only half of it was left.

It was strange but Kaito felt good like this. Even though his body was still in terrible shape, just having this made him feel so much better. A cold towel, a sweet honey-like thing for his throat, being properly covered up with blankets… it was like he was back home. Kaito didn’t realize he missed being cared for this much.

And he’d never have thought, ever, in his entire life, that Ouma would take care of him. Absolutely not him and definitely not like this. With so much tenderness and attention.

Kaito had no idea how long he’d been out but judging by the light outside, it had to have been some hours. How long was Ouma here?

He didn’t care to ask. Ouma would lie anyway. Instead, he asked the other question in his mind.

“What was that?” His throat felt so much better.

If Ouma said it was actually ambrosia, Kaito might even believe it.

Instead, the supreme leader just shrugged and answered casually, “Just some cough syrup.”

“Bullshit.” Kaito knew all the cough syrups there were by now. He’d bought and tried plenty and none tasted like this or worked so well.

It seems Ouma knew that by now, his smile screamed, ‘I checked your entire room and found the meds.’

“It is a cough syrup, just one I asked Iruma-chan and Tsumiki-chan to make.” He explained while putting the now empty flask somewhere inside his scarf — where was there room to hide that?!

Kaito wanted to know more and he knew that sometimes, silence worked better with Ouma. Only sometimes.

“Can’t trust store-bought at a time like this. Plus, those two owed me a lot, so they had to return the favor in some way.” Ouma shrugged, acting like this didn’t matter.

Kaito knew by now Ouma loved to commission the smart students for his own inventions, from nerdy equipment from Iruma and Souda to ‘potions’, what both Ouma and Himiko liked to call concoctions they invented with the medically inclined students. It was no secret that Ouma also ran around collecting favors and making people pay him back later, like some mafia boss wannabe.

What was surprising was that Ouma fucking wasted a favor on Kaito.

“You don’t need to pay me back.” Ouma said, reading Kaito’s mind as (almost) always.

Kaito didn’t expect that. And he sure as hell didn’t expect what Ouma said next.

“Cadavers can’t pay debts after all.”

It wasn’t only the awful, awful words… but it was that gaze. Those bright purple eyes were burning with hatred. It was how Ouma looked at Kaito when they first met. Their first year was filled with actual fighting and hatred clashes until they both eventually calmed down. Kaito doesn’t know what happened for Ouma, but as for himself… guess his admiration and competitiveness outshone his initial hatred.

But now it was like they were right back in their first year. Ouma stared at him with daggers, looking more like an assassin than even Maki.

And that really hurt Kaito for some reason. He never wanted Ouma looking at him like that again. It almost made him forget to be offended. Almost.

“The hell are you talking about?” Kaito said, his tone much stronger now that his throat wasn’t burning.

“You’re an idiot, always been and always will be.” Ouma started, relentlessly. “But I never thought you could be an idiot to this level. I even gave you time to sort it out, make some stupid grand speech like you always do… and for what?!” He was now shaking his hands like he wanted to grab Kaito and punch him, but knew he couldn’t. “So you can play martyr behind everyone’s back and die here? Alone in your fucking room?” He was almost screaming by now.

Kaito was floored. While he knew Ouma knew, he never thought he cared. It always seemed like his secret was so below Ouma, the supreme leader didn’t give a shit about it. About him.

Turns out that wasn’t the case.

“I-”

“I’m not fucking done!” It really looked like Ouma was doing everything he could to avoid pouncing on Kaito. “You told no one! Not even your little adoring sidekicks, or any teacher, not even Hinata, one of the good ones!” Ouma was laughing now, a bit crazily. “I thought you were biding time or talking with NASA, doing anything! But noooo, you had to hide it and tell no one about it! Did you think that would work, seriously?”

Ouma was now looming over him, his breath erratic. His eyes were so bright and so angry. Kaito really liked seeing them up close like this. And anger definitely looked better than indifference in those eyes. Maybe it was the proximity, or those eyes, or Ouma actually saying the truth for once, or because Kaito was just goddamn tired now… but for once, Kaito decided to be honest.

“No. But I didn’t know what to do.” Kaito hated how both his voice wavered and his eyes started to well up.

Ouma noticed and backed off. He knew how awful it was to have others looking when they were weak. His classmate gave Kaito time to compose himself.

Taking the towel off his head and replacing it with another one, Ouma sat down again in the chair by the bed’s side. Why couldn’t he just reuse it? Kaito didn’t get it. But he wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Momota-chan…” Ouma said in a soft voice. So different from his usual tone.

Kaito felt less pathetic for crying when he heard that voice, for some reason.

Ouma continued, sitting down comfortably and resting his back on the chair. “You’re stupid.” He said as this was one of the big truths in this world. Like the sky was blue, the sea was vast and Kaito was dumb as hell.

“Pretty much everyone noticed by now. If you said something, like, on the first day of sick Momota-chan, all of them would come rushing and tuck you to bed. You can bet they’d find a cure in the same week, with your little sidekicks leading the race to the holy grail of ‘fix an astronaut medicine’. You’re more of an idiot than I thought.”

Despite himself, Kaito couldn’t help but laugh. Ouma always had an absurd but funny way to describe things. Holy grail, huh…

“They were all waiting for you to say something. Obviously, you didn’t notice. Because you’re dumb as hell.”

It was getting annoying hearing so many insults from Ouma. But Kaito knew he was making a point.

“You got into this state because of your idiocy.” Ouma sighed. “If I knew it’d get to this point, I-“ He then stopped himself.

Kaito really wanted to hear what the supreme leader was going to say but Ouma gave him no time to react.

“Everyone in this goddamn school is worried sick over you. Hah, sick.” Ouma laughed at his own joke. Kaito couldn’t help but laugh a little too. “You made things worse by keeping quiet. Now everyone thinks you’re dying or something.”

Something in his tone made Ouma sound like he did when Kaito first woke up. There it was again, that forced distance and disinterest. As if he didn’t care if Kaito was sick or not — if he lived or died.

But the truth was obvious by now. Actions spoke louder than words, after all.

“I’m not dying.” Kaito said, trying to sound sure.

Trying to convince both of them.

It seemed he managed to convince Ouma, for once.

The supreme leader nodded. “You sure as hell won’t. I- we’ll make sure of it.”

If anyone asked, Kaito did not tear up at that. No one would know and he knew Ouma wouldn’t tell.

Kaito made himself comfortable under the sheets as Ouma gave him another cool towel. By now, his fever was barely there and the towels didn’t give the same relief.

Ouma continued speaking, as if he were describing the latest plot twist of his favorite series. “You have the world’s best and smartest studying your case as we speak!” He put his hands together in mock prayer. “Imagine, all those children in those poor countries with no one to help them… only to be second place after dear Momota-chan is cured!”

Kaito didn’t doubt for a second that the students were probably working on something. If Ouma got a syrup for him, by now the (maybe) future astronaut’s state was public knowledge. He wondered how they even got enough data to analyze ‘his case’, as Ouma said, but knowing the supreme leader, Kaito didn’t doubt anything. Maybe he used some of Iruma’s inventions or stole medical data or some shit. You never knew with Ouma.

“Even when you’re trying to help, you still suck.” Kaito said while sitting up to drink some water that Ouma offered.

“How am I trying to help?” Ouma asked, pretending he wasn’t basically caring for Kaito by his bedside for the last hours. “By making you feel better and kiss your little boo-boo?”

Kaito hated how that made him blush. He hated how any word coming from Ouma could become so weird… Why did he have to be like that?

Ouma was still too serious to play around today, it seemed. That underlying anger was definitely not gone either, Kaito could tell. It probably wouldn’t be fully gone for a long time. Still, it made Kaito happy. Knowing his rival cared this much.

“I’m not here to ‘make you feel better’, dumbass. Because that’d mean we both know everything is shit and I’m trying to pretend it isn’t for your sake. That’s what your sidekicks do. I’m not here for that.”

“Then what are you here for?” The golden question, at last.

“To tell you how it is, you jerk.” Ouma stated, matter-of-fact. “Like I said, the very best here are working on a diagnosis right now. Then a cure. You’ll get all healed up and back to your annoying self in no time.”

“Even so… NASA already removed me as a possible astronaut.” Kaito said the words he dreaded the most. It still seemed like a nightmare, but he remembered the email well enough when he didn’t show up for the latest training. He tried too hard to block that off his mind.

“What about-“

“Same for Russia and China.”

Ouma is quiet.

As always, he came up with the weirdest questions.

“What is your dream? To go to space or be an astronaut?”

It was like asking what came first, the chicken or the egg.

“Uh… Aren’t they the same?”

“No, dummy.” Ouma sighed tiredly, as if he were dealing with a child. “So, which is it?”

Kaito takes some time to think. It still seemed like the same thing but if he could only choose one…  

“Go to space.” Obviously.

His dream job was being an astronaut, though: he wanted to spend months above, explore new frontiers, help develop new medication in zero gravity, work with people all over the world… but all that came after a bunch of research.

Little five year old Kaito just wanted to go to space and see the stars up close. Grab them, even. Too bad that dream wasn’t possible, he realized when he studied physics.

So while being an astronaut was his dream profession… it obviously came after going to space.

“Then we’ll make it happen.” Ouma decides, as if they just picked out today’s dinner order.

Kaito wants to joke (and maybe pick a fight, that’s always a bit fun) but he can’t. Even in this low light, not being able to look very well at Ouma’s face, he can tell the other is dead serious.

“How?” He lets himself ask.

Ouma smiles and, so uncharacteristically, ruffles his hair. For a second, it almost seemed like the beginning of a prank. A really cruel one — but even Ouma wouldn’t pull something like that.

The leader doesn’t complain that it’s yucky when Kaito knows damn well his hair is the most disgusting and sweaty it’s ever been. He doesn’t remember when he last took a shower… god, he must be smelling right now and not even noticing.

Still, Ouma’s hand is soft and gentle. So unlike his usual self…

Kaito is the one who always ruffles Ouma’s hair. He’s the one always touching. Only now he realizes how Ouma never really touched him before, especially as a caress. Or anyone, for that matter, even Shuichi. His pranks always included physical distance, and the smaller one never initiated contact.

It’s like some weird natural phenomenon is happening right now and right here in Kaito’s dorm room.

Like any incomprehensible phenomenon, humans can only watch and stare in awe, not knowing what to do. That’s exactly Kaito right now.

“That’s for me to worry about. You just focus on getting better, Momota-chan.” Ouma’s voice was so sweet, it seemed like this was a dream.

Maybe it was a dream. It was so much better than the raw, cruel reality where his dreams were crushed unceremoniously.

Shit, Kaito noticed he’s actually tearing up… again. He tried to hide his face, even if it meant pulling a bit from Ouma’s hand.

Even at this lowest point in his life, his pride still can’t take it. He doesn’t want anyone to see him ugly cry like this. He can’t, he’s-

“The Luminary of the Stars is still a Luminary without going to space.” Ouma says languidly, like he’s reciting some old quote for class. “You already have the title, dummy. You haven’t even been there and you’re already called by the cringiest title known to man.”

He wonders if Ouma can tell he’s crying a bit. He tries to breathe slowly, normally.

“You’re just jealous of the best title ever. Anything beats ‘supreme leader’, after all.” He says it without meaning it.

Kaito always thought Ouma’s title was actually kinda cool.

He tried to reply in his usual casual tone, trying to appear like he was the same as always. But it’s off. Ouma has to know. He always knows everything about everyone — especially him.

Mercifully, he doesn’t comment on it.

“If you’re worried about your ‘utlimate title’,” Ouma says with all the sarcasm in the world, “don’t be. You’ll graduate just like everyone else. I have it on good authority.”

Kaito wants to ask who that authority is, but he doesn’t trust his voice right now. Plus, it’s probably their director, Naegi-san, who is always so kind and polite. He couldn’t imagine someone like him expelling him for this.

It all seems so silly now. Thinking through, of course, he wouldn’t be expelled right away in their last year. But after being denied by all the big cosmonaut programs, Kaito lost hope.

Ouma was having none of it and kept going, clearly distracting Kaito from his thoughts. The ability to read him so well, which always pissed him off, was actually really calming now. It was helping him get his mind back on track and far away from that dark place.

“Okay. Okay.” Kaito was repeating it to himself rather than to the other now. He remembered to be decent, like his grandparents taught him. Turning to Ouma, he added, from the heart, “Thank you, Ouma.”

His reply was Ouma turning away and hiding those bright eyes from him. Even if for a few seconds, Kaito missed them.

Ouma breathed in and continued talking as if nothing happened.

“And if you’re worried about your sidekicks and our classmates, don’t. Really. They’re all healthy and annoying, doing a-okay. If you want them to stop pestering, go back to class and be your usual annoying self. Like you always do.”

‘Like you always lie and pretend everything is fine’, is what he means. They both get it.

They do the same thing daily anyway.

It’d probably sound like the world’s worst advice, but for Kaito, it’s exactly what he needed to hear.

He was terrified of being seen through by everyone, of admitting he was a failure, of opening up and admitting his darkest fears came to pass. He tried, he imagined starting an inspirational speech that would lean into his own inspirational story, but… he just couldn’t do it. He’d prefer to break an arm over talking about how inferior he felt. How out of sorts Kaito Momota was in an academy for true ultimates and geniuses.

He was just… him.

And yet with Ouma, he didn’t feel that shame bubbling up — not anymore. This whole conversation was 90% just Ouma talking and it was… the best Kaito’s felt in months.

He realized Ouma truly got him in a way no one else did.

No one else could, maybe. Only liars could see through each other’s lies so well. And both of them lied constantly.

And the biggest relief was that Ouma’s opinion of him didn’t change because Kaito got sick. His body failing him didn’t mean loss of respect from his rival.

Ouma didn’t start to treat him like some porcelain doll and he wasn’t fussing around him as if he’d break — which Kaito knew most of his classmates would do. The usual prankster side and harsh words are still there, though with clearly a lot of effort to be a little kinder (Ouma’s brand of kind, mind you, which is a whole thing to itself).

And Kaito appreciates it so much. This feels like the best gift in the world.

To be seen and understood. To be considered the same even if your body failed.

He truly can’t be more grateful that he’s still just dumbass Momota-chan, not poor little sick, crushed ex-astronaut Momota Kaito.

No, to Ouma, he’d always be Momota-chan, the silly wannabe hero.

And nothing gave him more relief.

“Besides, more places can launch a rocket.” Ouma smiled a bit. “Who said it had to be in JAXA or NASA or whatever? If worst comes to worst, I’ll fund your little trip to space with DICE. That’s nothing for a supreme leader.”

Kaito just… didn’t know what to say. How to react to that.

It felt too good to be the truth, but it also felt like too much to be a lie. Ouma wasn’t the type to play around with dreams in a situation like this. He wasn’t that much of a bastard — of that Kaito knew since the end of their first year.

“Space travel was waaaay down on my list of plans, but for you I’ll bring it up to hmmm… number 6. Am I not nice?” Ouma’s laughter was fake, though the words rang true, somehow.

This was one of the most touching things Kaito ever heard in his life. He didn’t know what to think about the fact that it came from Ouma, of all people.

Even though he said six, Ouma’s tone made him feel like it would be the very first priority on his list. While DICE was an enigma and Kaito really didn’t know if Ouma had the ten thousand followers he swore up and down he did, one thing Kaito could trust: if Ouma made a promise, it was the real deal.

They were both the type who were willing to die to achieve their goals.

And Ouma made it his personal goal to make sure Kaito goes to space.

He really couldn’t take that many emotions in one day.

Somehow, opening up had never been this easy, even with his grandparents. It was so nice to be like this, so comfortable. Knowing whatever weakness he shows or how stupid he could be, Ouma was fine with him all the same. That he had the patience to be by his side even at his lowest point.

As Kaito was drifting closer to sleep, he realized what he wanted the most this very second wasn't even to go to space. He just wanted Ouma to stay here with him a little longer.

He started reaching out his hand to the smaller one by Ouma’s side. Sensing it, the boy immediately snatched his hand away and got up.

“Let’s get you on your feet first, sailor.” The smaller one laughed softly. “The class is going to storm out here at the end of the afternoon.”

That made Kaito wake up right away, all comfort forgotten.

“They actually wanted to come here way earlier,” Ouma explained, “But I sent them cards of dangerous fires that would start at specific times today all over the school.” He laughed.

“Dude, really?”

Ouma stalled them for him? Kaito couldn’t believe it.

“It’s just fireworks, obviously. I’m not a terrorist… unlike some ex-students.” Ouma grimaced. Ah, yes, his long distaste (and actual hatred) for Komaeda-san was never forgotten, even if the other happened to be his favorite teacher’s husband. “They got all frantic and it’ll definitely take them the whole afternoon. Saihara-chan promised it would.”

Kaito was once again floored. So Shuichi knew it all to the point that he cooperated with Ouma? These two never cooperated on anything – much to Ouma’s disappointment. For Shuichi to get into a plan and agree to stall, all that for Kaito? Now, he felt more ashamed than ever of how little he trusted his assistant.

Ouma knew very well what Kaito was thinking and chose not to comment. He’d done enough needling for one day. “Sooo, I figured you’d like to be all showered and gelled up before they do. Just imagine poor Saihara-chan and Maki-chan, seeing their big, strong hero all smelly like this. It’d break their young little hearts!" He gasped mockingly.

“But you can see me like this?” Kaito asked, already knowing the answer.

“I don’t hero-worship, Momota-chan. But I can worship other things.”

Kaito wasn’t even sure if he understood well what Ouma meant, but damn if this didn’t go straight to his dick. At a time like this, the hell?

He wanted to grab Ouma and have him by his side, not just sitting in that dam chair and looking at him in the dark like some cat. Kaito wanted Ouma lying down next to him. He wanted to feel more of that small, gentle hand on his hair. By now, he wasn’t sure it was possible to go a day without thinking about that caress. He felt like he wanted to do a lot more with Ouma, his mind supplying him with a bunch of images.

But not like this. He believed Ouma. His friends would probably storm his room with no ceremony and worry sick, especially if Ouma shared his condition.

If Kaito wanted to look good and clean up to see his classmates, then Ouma deserved to see the Luminary at his absolute best.

It was bad enough that he saw Kaito like this.

“Weeell, this was all super fun and all but I gotta go! Don’t cry too hard. Get all better and ready and go to our class when you can, before six o’clock. Everyone’s staying every day late trying to come up with ways to get hikikomori-chan to leave his room. Obviously, I won nishishi.” There was his horse-like laughter as usual. It never felt so comforting until now.

Like a hurricane, Ouma put yet another towel on Kaito’s hand, supplied him with another bottle, and ran across the room (like he knew Kaito’s room layout like the back of his hand, which maybe he did) to open the curtains.

Kaito knew the syrup and cold towels could only do so much. Ouma did the bare minimum so he could stand up and talk to everyone. He knew that as soon as he saw his classmates, he’d be immediately dragged to the nursery and have all sorts of tests drawn. Ouma was definitely betting on that.

Funny, if told that his day would go like this, Kaito would’ve stormed out of this room running and screaming. He’d never let anyone see him so weak and frail like this. But now that Ouma had not just seen him but took care of him (for hours), everything felt bearable.

It didn’t feel like the world was ending.

Maybe there was a way for him.

He knew he could trust the Ultimates here and the teachers. They’d figure something out. He prayed that NASA would ideally go back on their offer. He couldn’t let his dream end like this.

Kaito swore he wouldn’t let this defeat him. It was just another step on his long journey as a Luminary of the Stars!

And like Ouma said… his dream was to go to space first and foremost. After all he did, Kaito knew he could make it happen. And having Ouma by his side made it all feel not just possible, but real.

He knew it would happen now. It might not be the perfect way he hoped to go, as the youngest astronaut in the world, but he would go to space. Kaito would make it happen.

His body could bring all the trouble it wanted — just like Kaito beat the odds before, he would do it again.

Feeling reinvigorated, he didn’t even need Ouma’s help in getting up and walking to the bathroom. The shorter one just stared at him and was always at his side, waiting for the smallest hint of a lack of balance or fall.

But Kaito felt much better. He saw his reflection and even though he was as pale, sweaty, and sick-looking as before, his eyes shone as always.

He would take a good shower, skip the foundation, eat whatever it was that Ouma left at his table — Kaito only managed to glance but didn’t know what it was, though it looked like some broth — and go meet his friends.

Ouma made sure he was walking around and kept checking his phone. He grinned slightly and said, “It looks like you’ll have enough time to get ready after your beauty sleep, Momota-chan. And the lab nerds are working hard at it. I asked them for the results today. So let’s go with everyone after they stop dogpiling on you in their little hug and sob fest.”

Kaito laughed but true enough, that is what would happen.

Uncharacteristically, Ouma was serious again. He said softly, “Remember to thank your little sidekicks. They know more than you think.”

Surprised, Kaito just nodded. How much did they know, he wondered.

Ouma reverted to his usual casual smile and added, “Of course, not as much as me. Try all you want, Momota-chan. You’ll never be able to trick me.” Worded as a challenge, said as a fact.

For once, Kaito didn’t want to pick a fight and just agreed. If today was any indication, Ouma was right on that end.

As Kaito was getting ready to brush his teeth, Ouma was putting more water bottles and what looked like an extra vial of syrup on his table. He was setting the table for when Kaito would eat, unprompted.

It was all a little strange. Domestic, so unlike them. But so nice and warm.

Ouma opened his door and set the lock. Kaito reminded himself to ask later if he truly forgot the lock or if Ouma just lockpicked it.

From the entrance, Kaito heard a soft voice coming from the leader.

“Don’t make us wait any longer, dummy.”

He wasn’t sure he heard it right, but in his heart, it felt like he did. Ouma was always quietest when he was being honest.

Kaito just nodded, unsure of what to say. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing, with his head still a bit fuzzy and his body still tired.

As Ouma was opening the door to leave, Kaito was looking at the little vial on the table.

Only now he noticed something.

“Wait, how did you give me the syrup when I was asleep?”

In response, Ouma only smirks and winks at him before closing the door.

“Nurse’s secret, Momota-chan!”

That damn bastard, Kaito thought, trying to hide a blush that Ouma wouldn’t even see – but knew very well would be there.