Chapter Text
[Dr. Gerardys's Office]
Dr. Gerardys let out an exhausted sigh and lowered his glasses to the tip of his nose. As he looked at the two women sitting opposite him on the beige, uncomfortable-looking two-seater leather sofa, he looked as if he was questioning every diploma he had earned throughout his career. Perhaps he should have listened to his mother and become a surgeon.
Sitting on the far right corner of the sofa, looking as if she were hiding behind an invisible barrier, was Alicent. With her designer bag clutched tightly on her knees and her flawlessly ironed cream-colored blouse, she resembled a queen awaiting trial rather than a lawyer. Realizing she had started picking at her cuticles, she quickly clasped her hands together.
Sprawled out on the other end of the sofa, completely unbothered by the one-meter gap between them, was Rhaenyra. With her old but expensive-looking leather jacket and black boots, she had brought a hint of motor oil and expensive perfume into the room. In stark contrast to Alicent's tension, she wore that infuriating half-smile, ready to crack a joke at any moment.
"Alright," Dr. Gerardys said, scribbling something into the notepad in his hand. "Would you like to talk about last month's Science Fair disaster? According to the note I received from the school administration... it was eventful."
Alicent squared her shoulders, her voice ice-cold. "The word eventful is far too naive, Doctor. My ex-wife brought an illegal, possibly radioactive, and absolutely deadly tarantula to the school for our daughter's innocent project."
Rhaenyra rolled her eyes and interrupted. "It wasn't radioactive, Alicent. There was just glow-in-the-dark paint on its box! Besides, Helaena loved Mr. Fluffylegs. That bug was the most interesting thing at that boring fair."
"The Parents' Committee didn't look too loving when Mr. Fluffylegs escaped his cage and invaded the lactose-free snack table!"Alicent's voice had risen dangerously. "When I heard Jason Lannister's scream, I thought the school was burning down or something!"
"Jason always loves to exaggerate," Rhaenyra grumbled, but the smile on her lips had grown. She leaned forward a little, her voice dropping an octave as she looked directly into Alicent's eyes. "Besides... You weren't complaining at all when you fell to your knees in the dark under that table while we were looking for the bug, sweetie."
A blush immediately spread across Alicent's cheeks. She cleared her throat harshly and turned her gaze to the painting on the wall. "I just... the space was tight. And you were falling on me."
Dr. Gerardys sighed and jotted down a new note in his book: Both in denial.
"Well," said the therapist. "Let's go back to the very beginning then. What exactly happened on the day of the fair?"
[Three Months Ago - King's Landing Elementary School Gymnasium]
The gymnasium was filled with that familiar, suffocating smell of floor wax and stressed parent sweat. Alicent Hightower stood in front of Helaena's "Life Cycle of Butterflies" project, taking final measurements with the ruler in her hand to ensure the caterpillar pictures on the cardboard were perfectly symmetrical. Everything on the table was color-coded, hygienic, and—as Alicent secretly prided herself on—undeniably the neatest project in the hall.
That was until the double doors of the gymnasium swung open dramatically and Rhaenyra walked in.
Rhaenyra was wearing that infuriating leather jacket of hers, as usual. But the real problem wasn't her jacket; the real problem was the massive, wheeled glass terrarium she carried in her arms, covered with a black cloth.
Alicent's left eye twitched slightly. As Rhaenyra approached the table, she hissed in a whisper: "You're late. Also, what is that thing under the cover? I only asked you to print a few informative brochures."
"Brochures are boring, Ali, the new generation's attention span isn't that high," Rhaenyra said with a smirk. She pushed her sunglasses onto the top of her head. "I brought some liveliness for Helaena's project. You should appreciate my vision."
"Please tell me there isn't a snake in there," Alicent murmured, her hands involuntarily gripping the edge of the table.
Just then, Helaena emerged from under the table holding a juice box. Her eyes were locked directly onto the terrarium Rhaenyra had brought. "Mom! What did you bring?"
With a dramatic flourish, Rhaenyra pulled off the black cloth. "I present to you... Mr. Fluffylegs!"
Alicent's breath caught in her throat. Inside the glass box, right in the middle of a space decorated with neon green (and probably glow-in-the-dark) plastic plants, sat a giant, pitch-black, and hairy tarantula, almost the size of an apple.
"That... That is a monster!" Alicent whispered in horror. "You're loading that onto your flashy motorcycle right now and taking it back to wherever you came from, Targaryen!"
"But he's so cute!" said Helaena, pressing her nose against the glass. "How many eyes does he have? Eight? Can I touch him?"
"No!" Alicent said in panic as she pulled her daughter back. Then she turned to Rhaenyra. "Didn't you read the rules? It said 'Dangerous, poisonous, or wild animals are prohibited'! This thing could eat half the school!"
Rhaenyra shrugged, completely unfazed. "The guy at the pet shop said its venom is only as strong as a bee sting. Besides, look at him, he's very docile. He's just sitting in his corner." Rhaenyra tapped lightly on the glass with her finger. "Right, Fluffylegs?"
Alicent took a deep breath and tried to calm down. As the President of the PTA, she couldn't cause a crisis at the fair she herself had organized. "Alright. Put that cloth back over it. Until the principal tours the fair, no one will see this... thing. Understood?"
"Whatever you want, Madam President," Rhaenyra mocked. However, just as she reached to pull the cover closed, Jason Lannister's son at the next table sneezed loudly.
Whatever happened, happened right then. The flinch, the terrarium's lid not being fully closed, combined with Helaena having tampered with the lock with her tiny fingers seconds ago... The box opened.
Living up to his name, Mr. Fluffylegs lunged out of the glass with surprising agility and dove straight into the tulle-covered basket of gluten-free cookies that Alicent had carefully prepared.
Alicent's eyes widened like saucers. "Rhaenyra..." she whispered with a dangerous calmness. "Catch... that bug... right now."
As she swayed back and forth on her expensive high heels, Alicent waited for her life to flash before her eyes like a movie strip. But instead, a giant, hairy arachnid wandering among the cookies passed before her eyes.
Saying, "Okay, okay, calm down. I'll handle it," Rhaenyra rolled up the sleeves of her leather jacket and made a move toward the basket.
Just then, a tiny hand grabbed Rhaenyra's arm. Helaena had leaned into the basket with scientific curiosity, without the slightest hint of fear on her face.
"Wait, mom," Helaena said seriously. She took her small, pink-covered notebook and pen out of her pocket.
Alicent hissed through her teeth. "Helaena, sweetie, now is not the time for observation. That thing has taken our cookies hostage!"
Helaena completely ignored her mother. She narrowed her eyes and focused on the tarantula. The bug was currently standing on an oatmeal raisin cookie, twitching its antennae.
Helaena quickly scribbled something in her notebook and muttered: "Interesting. Subject 1-B, aka Mr. Fluffylegs, is showing a distinct interest in sugary foods. I wonder if he has a gluten sensitivity? Or does he just like raisins? I should add this under the heading 'Unexpected Herbivores in the Ecosystem'."
She raised her head and looked at her frozen parents with a serious expression. "I think we shouldn't disturb him. He's feeding right now. We could disrupt his digestive system."
A muffled laugh escaped Rhaenyra's mouth, but seeing Alicent's murderous glare, she quickly turned it into a cough.
"Digestive system?" whispered Alicent, her voice trembling just like her feelings. "Helaena, it's a tarantula! And Jason Lannister is looking at us right now! If that creature jumps onto Jason's perfectly combed hair, our school life is over!"
Indeed, Jason Lannister at the adjacent stand, holding "Lannister Gold: The Future of Investment" brochures in his hand, had started casting a suspicious glance their way.
"Alright, scientific observation time is over," said Rhaenyra; she had been the cool parent enough for one day. With a quick motion, she pulled the tulle over the cookie basket, but Fluffylegs had already slithered through the gap next to the basket and under the table.
Alicent held her breath in horror. "He escaped!"
"Helaena," said Rhaenyra, gripping her daughter's shoulder. "You stay right here and no matter who comes, tell them how wonderful your mother's project is. Don't move a muscle."
Helaena shrugged. "Okay. But I think Mr. Fluffylegs is just looking for a dark place. The lights stressed him out."
Alicent and Rhaenyra shared a desperate look that lasted only a second. Despite their years-long war, that old, silent agreement that kicked in during parenting crises had suddenly returned: Cooperate or face humiliation.
Both of them dropped to their knees in a synchronized movement and dove beneath the long, velvet tablecloth of the PTA table.
The space beneath the table was like a small tent—dim, dusty, and completely isolated from the chaos outside. Because the long, burgundy velvet cloth reached all the way to the floor, the only light seeping in was a thin, yellow line shining through a gap in the fabric.
When Alicent dropped to her knees, the first thing she felt was the cold, polished floor of the gymnasium, followed immediately by that familiar scent filling her nose: Rhaenyra's leather jacket, a faint breeze of motor oil, and that spicy perfume she never bothered to change even as years passed.
"Be careful, you're crushing my skirt," whispered Alicent, trying to pull back in the tight space. But there was only the iron leg of the table behind her.
Rhaenyra crawled over to her on her elbows. "If you hadn't worn that giant, puffy pile of fabric, we'd have more room right now, Ali. This is a science fair, not the Met Gala."
"The person criticizing my fashion sense shouldn't be someone who shows up to PTA meetings in a leather jacket looking like a punk!" Alicent scanned the area, trying to adjust her eyes to the darkness. "Where is that creature? Can you see it?"
"Calm down," Rhaenyra murmured, her voice sounding dangerously muffled and soft in the dark. "Just... don't make any sudden movements."
They both held their breath at the same time. From outside, right above their heads, Jason Lannister's arrogant voice was heard: "Excuse me, little lady, where might your mother be? I needed to pick up some PTA brochures."
Helaena's flat, emotionless voice echoed from above the table: "My mother is busy right now. They are observing the behavior of a new predator that has joined our ecosystem from the outside. I can give you the brochures."
Under the table, Alicent closed her eyes in horror. "She's going to humiliate us," she groaned in a whisper. She tried to sit up in panic. "If Jason lifts that cloth..."
"Shh," said Rhaenyra, and with an instinctive reflex, reached out and pulled Alicent down by her shoulders.
The movement was so sudden that Alicent lost her balance, stumbled forward, and found herself leaning directly against Rhaenyra's chest. One of Rhaenyra's hands grasped Alicent's waist, while the other rested on her back to keep her from falling.
Time suddenly stood still inside that dim, burgundy tent. The hum outside, the shouts of the children, and Jason's footsteps faded away all at once. Alicent's only remaining sense was the heartbeat pounding right beneath her ear, under Rhaenyra's leather jacket. It was fast. Very fast.
Alicent swallowed and slowly lifted her head. Just a few inches away, she met those lilac eyes shining despite the darkness. Rhaenyra's usual mocking smirk was gone. Her eyes wandered over Alicent's face, her lips, and her disheveled hair; her breath brushed against Alicent's skin.
"Rhaenyra..." Alicent whispered. She couldn't stop her voice from trembling. She needed to pull back. She needed to get out of those arms, right now. But for some reason, her body betrayed her, wanting to seek refuge in that warm, safe feeling from five years ago.
Rhaenyra swallowed hard, her gaze dropping to Alicent's lips. The hand around her waist tightened a little more. "Alicent... I..."
Just in that magical, breathtaking second, Alicent felt something light, hairy, and excessively leggy slowly climbing up her leg.
Alicent's eyes widened in horror. All the romance, nostalgia, and heart-pounding gave way to pure terror.
"Rhaenyra," Alicent said through her teeth, forgetting to even breathe. "On my left leg. Right now. Right on my knee."
Rhaenyra's eyes slowly slid downward. Mr. Fluffylegs seemed to quite like this warm, flower-scented surface he had found in the dark.
"Don't move," said Rhaenyra. That romantic expression on her face vanished instantly, replaced by a comical panic. "Do not scream, Alicent. I'll handle it."
[Dr. Gerardys's Office]
Dr. Gerardys cleared his throat softly and tapped his silver-colored pen against his notepad. The silence in the room had thickened with the weight of the story just told (a large part of which had been masterfully censored).
"So..." said the therapist, choosing his words carefully. "If I understand correctly, in that cramped and dark space, with Jason Lannister right next to the table... you managed to catch Mr. Fluffylegs without any issues?"
Alicent shifted uncomfortably on the leather sofa. She had clasped her hands in her lap so tightly that her knuckles were stark white. "Yes," she said, her voice coming out a bit too high-pitched. "We caught it. Well, she caught it. I was completely frozen."
"And during this process..." Dr. Gerardys looked at Rhaenyra over his glasses. "...there was no... intimacy or emotional moment? Because your body language suggests your heart rate accelerates when recalling that moment."
"Absolutely not!" Alicent and Rhaenyra said simultaneously, with split-second synchronization. They both quickly looked at each other, then averted their eyes as if they had seen fire.
"It was just," Rhaenyra interjected, trying to put on her usual nonchalant attitude but unable to hide the faint pink on her cheeks. "The space was tight. Very tight. We couldn't even breathe because of Alicent's giant, puffy skirt. Besides, I wasn't exactly in the mood to think about romance with a huge spider on my knee."
"It was on my leg!" hissed Alicent, getting defensive. "And when you were picking it up, your fingers..." She suddenly fell silent. To finish her sentence meant confessing how Rhaenyra's hands had roamed her leg under that dark table (and how that made her tremble more than the spider did). She swallowed and quickly turned her head the other way. "We just took the bug and got out."
Dr. Gerardys raised his eyebrows and looked at his notebook. "I see. Well, if you just took the bug and got out, why does the report sent to me by the school principal say, 'The PTA President and her ex-wife tumbled out from under the table, knocked over Jason Lannister, and then the fire alarm went off'?"
A deadly silence descended upon the room.
Rhaenyra started whistling innocently, looking at the ceiling. Alicent, on the other hand, had her eyes tightly shut, rubbing her temples with her fingers as if wishing to be erased from the world.
"Jason Lannister," said Alicent through gritted teeth, "lifted the cloth right as we were trying to get out. And Rhaenyra lost her balance and..."
"...I grabbed onto Jason's pant leg," Rhaenyra finished with a smirk. "The man screaming and running backward into the fire alarm was entirely his own clumsiness. Besides, you must admit the fair wasn't all that boring, Doctor. Helaena took three pages of notes in that chaos."
Dr. Gerardys let out a deep, very deep sigh and looked at the clock. "Your time is up, ladies. Next week... we'll be discussing the Career Day incident, correct?"
Alicent quickly grabbed her bag and stood up. "If Rhaenyra hadn't driven her motorcycle into the school hallway that day, we wouldn't have anything to discuss!" she said, heading for the door.
Rhaenyra also stood up slowly and adjusted her leather jacket. Before walking out the door, she winked at the therapist.
"See you next week, Doc. Believe me, Career Day was much more fun."