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Hitoshi Shinso had a lot of thoughts about Neito Monoma.
From the day they first met, Shinso started having thoughts. Of course, the most prominent one was ‘wow, this guy talks a lot’. Shinso didn’t mind, per se. It was interesting to hear Monoma talk.
He found that Monoma especially liked to talk about class 1-A. Well, talk was a generous word. More like complain. But Shinso found that it didn’t bother him too much. He’d heard many people grumble about how much 1-A was in the spotlight. Somehow, interesting things always ended up happening to them.
It felt a little unfair for everyone else in the school, who had to try twice as hard just to keep up with them. He too was working hard to be as great as the 1-A prodigies, so he understood having a distaste for them. Although Monoma’s distaste was much more obvious. Shinso thought it was interesting, to say the least.
That was all Shinso thought, for a while. Whenever Monoma came up in his thoughts as he was spacing out, or as he passed by him in the hall, he just thought about blonde hair, and a bright smile, and a cocky but somewhat understandable attitude.
—
Shinso didn’t know when he had started thinking differently. But he started to see and think things about Monoma that he hadn't before.
They had been hanging out more often now, since Monoma had taken a liking to him after working together, and started to hang around him more.
‘I really like you Shinso, honestly! We're so similar.’ He had said once. Shinso had never even considered that. How could they be similar? If anything they were polar opposites.
On the surface, it was easy to see Monoma and think that he was just an arrogant, cocky prince. He had all the looks and attitude of one, for sure. It was easy to just assume he was a jerk, and walk away with that thought in mind. And that’s what Shinso had thought of him, at first.
But things were not as surface level as they seemed. And Shinso found himself realizing that there was more to Monoma than he let on.
Maybe Monoma had a point, when he said they were similar. Shinso certainly seemed to notice a few similarities they had as they got closer.
The main one was that others' perceptions on their quirks were both something that they struggled with. While Shinso was looked at as if he would be the perfect villain, Monoma was often looked at as if he would be the perfect sidekick. Destined to hang around at the side of some stronger pro, drawn to the background because of the nature of his quirk.
Perhaps that was why he tried to stand out so much. Shinso had never thought of that before, but as he got to know Monoma more, it started making sense to him. He started thinking of how Monoma acted might be a direct cause and relation to him being dismissed for his quirk.
Monoma had once told him, as they were paired up in the Joint Training Battle, that he was always told ‘there’s no way you could be a superhero with a quirk like that’.
Shinso hadn’t fully taken it into account at that time, but as he started to think about it and reflect on that conversation, it really resonated with him. People had said the same thing to him many times. So learning that someone else went through the same thing, well. It changed Shinsou's perception of Monoma, a bit. Maybe he wasn’t just a kid with a bad attitude and a big ego. Maybe there was more.
It was nice to know he wasn’t alone, at least. That someone else struggled with the same things he did, even if they handled it differently.
Maybe that’s why Shinso took a liking to Monoma a bit more, and started wanting to see him more frequently. It was nice to have someone who, despite appearances, shared a similar hardship with you.
They became close friends after a while. Shinso didn’t know how or when, but he always found himself subconsciously migrating to Monoma when he had the chance. Monoma was always clinging around him, so it only made sense that Shinso found some comfort in it. He hadn’t ever thought he would, but he found that he kind of liked the company of the loud blonde.
Shinso found that he also really liked to think about Monoma. He caught himself doing it more frequently, as he zoned out in class or laid in his bed trying to sleep.
Monoma, a blonde who liked to talk, who had the confidence of a king, and the smile of a thousand suns. Monoma, with his interesting quirk and his fancy hero outfit and his soft blue eyes. Monoma, who maybe wasn’t as different as Shinso than he’d originally thought. Monoma, whose hair looked soft, something Shinso thought he’d want to run his hands through.
Okay so maybe Shinso started having some less than platonic thoughts. He wasn’t sure when they started, only that they lingered in his mind, whenever Monoma pressed close or called to him or smiled at him.
Monoma had a nice smile. No, a beautiful smile. Some might think it creepy or exaggerated, but what Shinso saw, especially directed at him, underneath the bravado, was Monoma’s soft, bright smile that lit up his face and pressed soft crinkles under his eyes. It was beautiful. Monoma was beautiful.
Shinso thought he wanted to see Monoma smile more. And he thought that he would do anything to keep him smiling.
He especially thought that after he had shown up to Monoma’s dorm room to hang out, like they usually did, only to find Monoma at the door, eyes tired and a frown on his face.
Shinso didn’t like it. It tugged on his heartstrings in a way he found he didn’t like feeling. He didn’t know what happened, but all he knew was that he wanted whoever or whatever made Monoma look like that to go away.
Monoma had opened the door to let Shinso in, and then moved to curl up in his bed, saying nothing. It was strange. It was not the Monoma that was displayed to the public, or that Shinso saw on a daily basis. It felt more raw, more true.
Shinso had sat on the bed, watching Monoma, thinking desperately of how he could bring some more light into Monoma’s sullen eyes. He remembered moving his hands to Monoma’s soft blonde hair, remembered carding through it as a gesture of comfort, remembered Monoma closing his eyes and leaning into the touch.
He thought about that moment a lot. Not just about how much he really loved to pet through Monoma’s soft blonde hair, but how precious it was. How important. Just the two of them, more vulnerable than they had ever been, trusting in each other.
Something shifted, after that day. A subtle sort of understanding, a deeper level of connection between them. And Shinso had thought that there was definitely more to Monoma, more that he would like to know.
—
As time went on, Monoma did not leave Shinso's thoughts. It had been well over a year now, that they had known each other and been friends, and Shinso found his mind wandering more and more every day about Monoma.
Every time they touched, he found himself thinking of how he wanted to hold Monoma longer. Every time Monoma walked beside him, Shinso found himself wanting to hold his hand. Every time Monoma smiled, Shinso thought about kissing him.
It went on like that for a while, Monoma consuming Shinso's thoughts. Not that he minded in the slightest.
And then one day, he couldn’t contain his thoughts anymore, and they slipped out.
“You’re pretty.” He had told Monoma, as they were sitting under a tree outside in the middle of spring. The sun had been illuminating Monoma’s gorgeous blonde hair and his stark blue eyes and Shinso couldn’t stop himself from staring. The words made their way out without intention.
In a typical Monoma fashion, he just grinned.
“Thanks Shinso, you’re not too bad yourself!” Monoma replied. Shinso was too captivated to really pay any mind to Monoma’s response, instead continuing to gaze at his beautiful eyes. They were a deep periwinkle blue that Shinso could not pull his own eyes away from.
He thought Monoma looked really cute when his cheeks started heating up, as Shinso continued to look at him in awe.
“Shinso?” Monoma asked, as Shinso didn't pull his gaze away.
Once Shinso's brain had caught up to his own actions, he felt his face get warm as well, so he looked away. He almost forgot for a second that they were just friends. Saying things like that out of the blue was not only uncommon for Shinso, but also not something they just did casually. He tried to pretend like it didn’t happen, staring forward instead.
“Do you really think so?” Monoma had asked then, as silence had stretched on. His face was still dusted pink. Shinso had thought that it only added to Monoma’s beauty.
“Yeah.” He said, again without thinking. He seemed to be unable to keep the truth from Monoma, even if he wanted to. He trusted Monoma on a very deep level, and he knew Monoma felt the same way. It was a mutual understanding, a connection that ran deeper than anyone could understand.
Shinso felt Monoma’s soft hand brush against his own, and then Monoma was linking their fingers. His hand felt warm against Shinso’s own cold one. It was really nice. Shinso thought he never wanted to let go. Monoma’s hands were slightly rough, probably from using his quirk, but Shinso found that it didn’t bother him in the slightest. He loved Monoma’s hands, and he felt they fit perfectly into his own.
He had the slightest urge to kiss the back of Monoma’s hand, then. Instead, he gave a small squeeze to their interlocked hands.
They didn’t talk about it after that, but they did start holding hands more often. Sometimes Monoma would grab his hand out of the blue and lace it with his own. Sometimes Shinso found himself craving the touch, so he held out his hand, and Monoma gave him his own. It was nice, and started becoming a sort of routine thing between them. It was a really nice feeling, one that gave Shinso butterflies each time it happened. He welcomed them each time.
—
Shinso found himself frequently thinking about how he would ask Monoma out, or if he even should. It was a thought that plagued his mind a lot. He entertained it frequently as he thought about how he should go about it, what he should say, and when he should say it.
The urge came to him every time he was around Monoma. But he held back, because he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know what Monoma thought about him, and he cherished their friendship so much, so the worry that he could mess things up ate at him. So he decided to wait it out.
They were hanging out under their favorite tree again, holding hands as Monoma yapped about everything and anything on his mind. It was sweet, really. Shinso was partially listening, more enjoying the noise and the hum of Monoma’s voice over anything. He was phasing in and out of sleep, head against the tree and eyes fluttering closed, when he was awoken by Monoma’s voice, louder and closer to him now.
“—inso? Shinso!” Monoma frowned, waving his hand in front of Shinso's face. Shinso blinked, and looked at Monoma.
“Hm? Sorry, I was falling asleep.” Shinso admitted. He always felt like he could be honest around Monoma. Monoma just huffed, frowning.
“I was asking you if you wanted to come to my place. You’ve been spacing out a lot lately, is everything okay?” Shinso found himself once again drawn to Monoma’s eyes, flickering with a hint of concern. They were so big and blue and beautiful and Shinso just wanted to stare into them forever. He had to reel himself in to answer the question.
“Oh, yeah I’m fine. Sorry. I’ve just been thinking a lot.” He admitted.
“Thinking of what?” Monoma asked.
“You.”
Shinso froze, realizing what he had just admitted. He blinked, flushing slightly. He didn’t mean to say that. Monoma also started to blush, hand coming up to cover his face. His ears also got red, Shinso thought it was really really cute.
“I— you can’t just— Shinso!” Monoma whined, but Shinso saw the smile that peeked through his hand.
Shinso smiled back, face warm, and moved to pull the hand covering Monoma’s face away. Monoma let him take it, and stared back at him, a soft smile on his face and a light in his eyes.
Before he knew it, Monoma was pressing his lips up against Shinsos, softly, a barely there touch.
Shinso hadn’t expected it, but once his brain caught up, he moved his hand to cup Monoma’s face and kissed back, equally as soft and sweet.
All he could think about was how beautiful Monoma was, how smooth and soft his lips were, how warm his face was and how good it felt to finally be able to kiss him. He thought he never wanted to stop. If he could, he would like to keep kissing him forever.
Eventually they broke apart, equally flushed and grinning.
“So.” Monoma said, leaning into the hand that caressed his face softly.
“So.” Shinso repeated back, eyes wandering over Monoma’s face.
“Can I kiss you again?” Monoma asked, and Shinso moved to push his lips against Monoma’s once again without hesitation, effectively answering the question.
After a while of kissing, they lay on the grass together, hands woven together and lips red. Shinso thought that he couldn’t have asked for anything better. As Monoma stared up into the sunset, Shinso laid looking at him. He really did love him.
“Monoma.” Shinso started, as he squeezed Monoma’s hand. Monoma turned to look over at him, a smile on his face and sunset beautifully illuminating him in a soft golden glow.
“Hm?” Monoma asked, returning the squeeze to their hands.
Shinso thought he was afraid, but over that, he thought he really wanted to be able to hold Monoma and kiss him, officially. So Shinso steals his nerves and goes for it.
“Will you go out with me?” He asks, holding his breath and rubbing a thumb over Monoma’s hand.
Monoma blinks for a second, caught off guard, and then he smiles, that beautiful happy smile that crinkles his eyes and brightens his face, and pulls Shinso in for another kiss. Curled up on the grass, hand in hand, Shinso thinks that he could be happy here forever.
Monoma smiles when they pull away, and leans his forehead against Shinsos. “I thought you’d never ask.”