Chapter Text
The low rumble of summer heat thunder woke David and he glanced at the bedside clock; 3:32 am. He groaned, knowing getting up to use the bathroom would equal being awake. He could always sit in the living room and read a while before Yuna woke at 5.
Then he realized there was no one in bed next to me to him.
While this was not an abnormal thing, Yuna would occasionally be up early for a flight or if she had something on her mind, he had not expected her to have a sleepless night after their eventful afternoon the day before.
They had talked a long time together, over a bottle of wine, after Shane and Ilya left. He thought she had talked out a lot of her feelings. Of course, they both would have to let their spiraling thoughts and ongoing upswells of guilt or grief that Shane had believed he had to hide from them dissipate over time. But the overall conversation had gone really well, especially since Yuna had a heart-to-heart with Shane on her own. By the time they went to bed, tucked in with tea and a book, Yuna had seemed calm.
He padded out to the living room, not spotting her in her home office along the way.
She sat on the couch, tucked in to the throw blanket with her iPad in hand and a hockey game on the tv.
David focused.
THE game.
Boston at Montreal.
The TiVo was paused on the recording from that night. At the moment they had purposefully been avoiding re-watching.
Once they realized Shane was going to be fine, they had refused to re-watch their recordings. Yuna had always recorded as many of Shane’s games as their TiVo would hold (even purchasing a separate one just for his games) and they would rewatch them together during the offseason.
But Yuna had it paused, in the moments just as the medical staff made it to the ice.
Shane’s body, towered over by Ilya’s, was on the screen. Regardless of the pause button, he knew Shane was motionless.
He rounded the couch; she looked up from her iPad. “We had said we didn’t want to watch this.”
“He was there.” She said simply. David looked at her, uncertain what to say. “We watched him lying there, just staring at our screen, and we couldn’t get to him for two hours.”
Sitting gently next to her, he took the iPad from her hand. He could see she had been crying. “Yun….?”
She blinked, sliding her finger across the video she had on her iPad on YouTube. “Watch.”
For years they had tried to avoid social media. They didn’t need to know what at-home, armchair referees were saying about their son or his team. They didn’t want to watch ‘fan edits’ or compilations of things that they personally knew themselves. But Yuna was now on non-MLH-official YouTube.
David looked at the screen, pressing play.
A fan on the opposite side of the rink had uploaded the play that led to the hit. Shane had grabbed the puck and was skating into the offensive zone. They had known he was looking back, they had all had a good talk about how foolish he had been not to keep his focus on the play, especially as he crossed the blue line. But they had purposefully never looked on social media for any other videos of this night. They had not seen it from this angle, where you could, knowing what they knew now, clearly see Shane looking back at Ilya.
He was not angry; he was not smug at having the puck.
He was smiling.
Smiling brighter than they had seen him in years.
David looked back up to Yuna as the video ended with the hit, the phone having been dropped.
“There’s more.” She said, clicking to the next video in her watch history.
It was a video from a fan at ice level. The resolution wasn’t great, having to focus through the puck marks on the glass, but the person recording had been able to zoom some in on Ilya’s face, in a way the MLH cameras had not from the higher angles. He let the video play.
Ilya’s face was devastated. He was shouting, what had previously appeared to their eyes to be “shit” before was now clearly “Shane”.
That night they had been sure Ilya was shouting profanities and ‘kicking’ the other captain while they were down.
Now, watching with fresh eyes and knowledge, David could clearly see what Yuna had. Ilya wasn’t taunting the other captain. He wasn’t instigating anything.
He was stone-faced and terrified. Color blanched from his face.
Over and over, David could see Ilya's lips forming his son’s name. He could now see what appeared to be “open eyes”. He could see Ilya fighting his own body not to crouch and comfort, moving forward a fraction only to pull himself back. David could see Ilya looking like all his skating skills had left him, as if he was a baby deer trying to walk. The movements were so halting as he tried not to give away their dangerous secret. He realized he had seen an echo of that look at their table last night moments before comforting Shane’s anxiety attack.
Ilya very clearly cared deeply about Shane, how anyone couldn’t see that in these videos was astounding him.
As that video ended, Yuna reached over and tapped the next video. Another angle, just behind the Boston bench. As the rink had gone quiet while Shane was strapped to a board and lifted onto the gurney, the video had caught “IS HE OKAY?!? FUCKING TELL ME!!” as the ref pushed Ilya back toward the bench.
David looked to Yuna, her face somber but also showing her ‘concerned mom’ face. “He was there. Our baby was on the ice, not moving, and we were so scared that he was all alone.” She traced her finger over Ilya’s on the screen “But he wasn’t alone.”
“Yun, we…”
“I’m not upset. I watched these so many times tonight… I can see it now.” She said softly. “I am feeling more at peace, I don’t know… just, putting the pieces together. I am seeing things differently, changing my mind about memories we have had for so long.” She held his gaze a long time. “I needed to look for the things I overlooked.”
“He is a good man it seems. Despite his ferocity on the ice.”
“David…” her voice was somber “…this moment… him watching Shane lay there…” She switched her screen over to a webpage, the Boston announcement about their Captain’s return from being home to bury his father. “This was his first game back.” Mom voice softened and comforting “He had buried his father and now saw Shane laying there on the ice. He must have been so scared.”
He was never not amazed by Yuna’s ability to see emotions and experiences differently. He always just accepted things at face value. Yuna dug deeper and questioned deeply.
“And we didn’t know.” Tears quietly slipped from her eyes. “And he only had a few minutes to visit him, the appropriateness of a ‘captain visit’. He must have hidden or somehow timed it when we left for lunch. David, if we had known, we could have helped him stay… helped him visit longer.”
“Yuna, we can’t go back and change things.”
“I know…” she leaned her head on his shoulder. “I know we can’t go back and change things. But we can make things better going forward.”
He recognized her committed voice. “Absolutely we can.”
David had a feeling a third TiVo would be arriving soon to begin recording Ilya’s games as well.
She had spent the rest of the early morning looking up all she could about Ilya, reacquainting herself with him without the momma-bear energy protecting her son.
Well, that wasn’t quite true.
David knew his wife was not stupid. He knew she wouldn’t take much to see the longevity of this relationship and extend the same love to their son’s partner. He had already seen it in how Ilya had looked at Shane as they walked up the stone stairs from the lake, in the easy way Shane had moved without any of his usual anxiety and stiffness. How his body had been so relaxed even as David’s tensed in embarrassment for intruding. He could review those brief moments and see that Shane trusted this man implicitly. So he would too.
While their second pot of tea had brewed, David had listened to Yuna shouting from the dining room table at random paparazzi or tabloid writers who were using headlines to enrich themself off Ilya’s exploits. Even articles he knew she had read before in jest or sneering at the debauchery of her son’s ‘rival’. She had scrolled with renewed fervor, scrutinizing and calculating data.
She had pulled up picture after picture of the two of them in all the rivalry photos, but also searching fan pages and seeing what individual cameras caught from behind the glass. She found a couple of Tumbler pages with people speculating that they read lips and were sure they saw numbers being exchanged and these fans surmised it was taunts of points being tallied. David now wondered if these were hotel room numbers, but it would never be his place to ask.
Over breakfast they agreed, knowing what they knew now, they had no idea how no one had ever spotted the lack of genuine animosity between the two men before. Seeing how they had looked at each other over dinner, the way Shane lightened to Ilya’s touch & glances, Yuna commented that she now could clearly see the same look in her son’s eyes in any online image he looked to Ilya.
“We see what we are conditioned to see.” David said simply, reassuring his wife. “The league built up this whole rivalry thing before they were even legal adults. And Shane never tried to dissuade us from it. We saw what we were told to.”
The fire in Yuna’s eyes as she looked back at him “FUCK the MLH. They created this rivalry. They allow this machismo and homophobic shit to continue. They keep people like Scott, Shane and Ilya in closets made of steel.” At David’s shocked/amused look she continued “Shane tried to tell us, all along. He mentioned all the pressure about him being the only Asian-Canadian. We should have assumed it extended to everything not European and heterosexual. They want what they can profit most over. Fuuuck THEM. If Shane and Ilya are this good when they are wasting energy hiding and being afraid… imagine what they can do when they are freed of that. When they are ready, the MLH won’t know what hit them.” She punctuated her statement with a firm head nod.
And now he knew… Yuna’s momma-bear energy was fully expanding to extend around a new son.
Later that afternoon, once their texts had been affirmed and they were all set to arrive to dinner with food and beer at 5. David held Yuna’s hand as they turned off the road onto the gravel drive just a few minutes before.
Shane met them at the door, Ilya not far behind. Pats on the back from dad and one-arm hugs from mom as they brought the food into the kitchen. They watched the boys from the table, the way they moved around the space adding the chicken to the salads Shane had already prepared. Ilya got out a bread knife without asking where it was and sliced the crusty loaf before cleaning up behind himself.
David smirked as he saw Yuna’s eyebrow raise in approval as she sipped her wine. There was definitely a lot of unspoken communication between the two boys; casual touches that they may have been embarrassed about if they realized the island was not hiding them, nods when a task had been finished off and little moments of eye contact that made David’s heart warm.
He also knew what he and Shane had texted about earlier.
Nothing secretive, just part of their private conversations & texts, where his son had always found his calm away from the constant-planning storm that was Yuna. Shane had, of course, been buzzing with a need for reassurance at this new situation in his life. One where his secrets are out in the open. He had guessed, appropriately, that his mother would have been on a data-collecting hyperfocus after they left.
Shane needed the reminder and reassurance security that it was not from a ‘find dirt and get rid of the infiltrator’ place, so he had texted his dad.
David had steadfastly assured him it was all in love, even sending a brief audio recording of one of Yuna’s dining table rants at people commenting about Ilya’s loss to this years playoff round, her voice yelling at an unknown online commenter “OF COURSE he wasn’t focused you ASSHOLE!!!!! HE LOST HIS DAD AND HIS BOYFRIEND WAS INJURED AND CARRIED OFF THE ICE A MONTH BEFORE!!! HOW FOCUSED WOULD YOU BE???”
Shane had sent back a brief audio that sounded like he was laughing (and possibly Ilya was too) “thanks dad, I appreciate the audio, it helps.”
So by the time they were all set at the table, the conversation flowed fairly easily. Yuna called out the newness of it all, as the direct pro she was, and had loads of question prompts, largely keeping them about hockey but gently asking about how Ilya had come to the sport. She demonstrated a gentleness and kindness, sharing little tidbits about Shane at ages Ilya mentioned. David noted Yuna’s expression was wounded when Ilya shared his mother had never lived to see him play professionally.
When the dinner dishes had been cleared away and they sat on the couch around the fire pit with their after-dinner drinks, Shane had allowed for Ilya’s arm to come around behind him. This seemed like a pretty big step in the ‘our-son-does-not-like-affection’ space. Heck, you couldn’t hug him in celebration of his pee wee tournament wins either. He had never been one to allow prolonged personal-space affection. But here he was, leaning in to Ilya’s side and looking at rest.
David watched in the quiet way he usually spent evenings with Shane & Yuna; just taking in his family and enjoying a warm summer night. Yuna asked more about Ilya’s family and shared a bit about her parents. She didn’t share often, as David knew it hurt her that she was largely estranged from her mother after they married. But tonight she was echoing the same trust in Ilya that Shane was modeling.
“You did not get to make up with your mama?” Ilya asked softly, looking to Yuna. David noted his thumb on Shane’s shoulder had begun tracing a path back and forth.
“No. She died when Shane was little. Dad was not long after, since he would not allow anyone to help care for him.” Yuna’s voice was soft and sad. David could tell she was using her mom-voice, her skill for when she needed to have a heart to heart with Shane and his logic-brain needed a softening.
“My brother did not take care of our father well. We were not close, but… I did not like to be so far away and not take care.” Ilya shared.
“We are sorry to hear, we know he died recently.” David offered.
“Yes. Was hard to go and say goodbye without goodbye.” Ilya notably breathed easier when Shane leaned in a bit tighter.
“Families can be messy sometimes.” Yuna nodded. “Even when we try our best, we make mistakes.”
They sat in the quiet a little while, just the snap of the fire and crackle of wood as it burned. David loved watching Yuna as she thought. Her face could be so expressive and animated, but when she was deep in thought it was all the little expressions that he had learned over the years to look for. The ‘rip tide’ under the surface of her emotions.
Shane broke the silence. “You will love meeting my Gramma, when we can make a trip.” He raised his head and smiled at Ilya “She is where me and my dad get our boring from.”
Ilya laughed, clearly indicating this was an inside joke. His arm wrapped around Shane’s shoulder so tightly before he kissed his forehead and said “I love your boring.” David could tell this was more of a chirp than an actual fact. And if Ilya loved boring, maybe that just meant ‘steady’ and that was something they had not found in any of their internet sleuthing that morning. Ilya had not lived a life with much steadiness.
“My mother moved out to Vancouver to live near some of her friends after my dad died. She liked the activities out there better than Ottawa.” David offered. “More shuffleboard out there.” He teased.
“I would love meeting your Gramma someday. Mine were long gone. Papa was old when he had me. Mama was young, but her parents, not… not good.” Ilya offered more family talk.
Yuna had the opening David could tell she was hoping for. “Ilya, if it is okay, when did your mom die?”
“Is okay. I was 12. I miss her.” Ilya looked at the fire. “She would have enjoyed sitting here with you, even if she thought it was strange to heat the sky and not a room inside.”
“We would have loved to have her.” David said. “To tell her how happy we are to get to know her son.”
“She raised a good son.” Yuna said.
Ilya laughed a little. “I think Mama might not be happy with me for everything, but she would be happy with where I am now.”
They enjoyed the outdoors a while longer, but Shane’s yawn triggered one in David and Yuna smiled at him “I think it is time for us to head home.”
“Yeah, it has been a long couple of days for everyone.” David nodded.
Shane stretched, getting up to put the fire out “And there will be more nights to do this.” He smiled as Ilya stood to help him.
“Ilya, would you help me gather up the dishes?” Yuna asked instead.
“Of course.” Shane watched Ilya follow Yuna into the house while his dad helped him extinguish the fire.
David said softly, “I think your mom wants a few minutes alone with Ilya.”
Shane snorted “Yeah, I think we all got that.”
Inside, Ilya pulled the canvas bag up and began putting the glassware in it. Yuna reached over slowly toward his hands, not wanting to move quickly. He turned to face her.
“Can I?” She said, waiting for a nod before taking his hand. “Ilya, I just want to say thank you.” She shook her head sternly at him when he tried to speak to deflect. “No, I have to say this. We have said harsh things about you in the past; I will regret that for a while. I can’t take any of that back or change that it was said. But I can say things now. I need you to know that we see you and we welcome you in our family as Shane’s partner.”
Ilya stood there, already having had the best day of his life yesterday, uncertain what to say or if he trusted himself with English at this moment.
Yuna could see the frozen look in his eyes, recognized a similar overwhelm of emotions she had seen in her son his whole life. Instead of waiting for him to say something, she reached her other arm up and around his shoulders. She whispered softly to his large frame “I will love you and care for you like your Mama taught you to care for our son.” She held him tighter when she felt his shoulders hitch and he cried.
David and Shane couldn’t hear what was being said, but they both watched through the windows as Ilya collapsed into Yuna’s arm, his head against her shoulder. One arm around his shoulders, the other now around his waist and his encircled her easily. David patted his son on the back “We are very happy for you Shane. We will do whatever we can to support how you both want to move forward.”
Shane turned to his dad and hugged him with the same love he shared with Yuna the afternoon before. “I love you Dad.”
A short while later, David eased the SUV back to turn and head down the driveway. Yuna sighed contentedly heavily next to him. “It was a lovely night.” He commented into the dark of the car.
“It really was.” She rested her head back. “They are good together.”
He smiled to himself, as if they hadn’t had this conversation several times today. “They are.”
As they turned onto the main road, David ventured his curiosity “What did you and Ilya talk about?”
She reached over and took his hand from the center console “Letting him know we care about him and welcome him in our family.”
“Seemed like you had a really nice moment.”
“He looked so startled, like he hadn’t had an adult say anything nice to him in a long time.” Her voice softened “I know how that feels.”
David raised her hand and kissed the back “You are a good woman and an amazing mother.”
“I told him he can call me Mama Yuna... I would never take the place of his own Mama, but I thank her for him now.”
He squeezed her hand gently “We have our work cut out for us, don’t we? Two sons to protect and care for now.”