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Look, Dick knew what was going on.
He had been to all of the doctors, he had all of the tests, and he did everything that he could feasibly do about it.
… Well, okay, he maybe could have, you know, told someone.
That would have been helpful.
But who could he tell?
His family? Oh hell no. Absolutely not.
His family would completely freak out! Go into their overprotective hovering mode, would never let him out of their sights, coddle him and treat him as incapable of ever being left alone again. He didn’t want that.
Not to mention, he was fucking Nightwing. The public counted on him to keep them safe. His teammates counted on him to be there, to lead, to be useful.
He had to be in peak physical condition. He couldn’t be a liability.
So, he told a grand total of… nobody.
Well, he guessed he told his dog. She counted, right?
Yeah, Haley counted. He told one human being.
That was enough.
Besides, it's not like he couldn’t deal with it. He knew how to keep himself safe during a seizure. Just, lay down on his side, make sure his head was cushioned, and wait it out. Sorted.
They were manageable, few and far between, and easy to hide from the other bat family members. The actual episodes, that is. He went to extreme lengths to hide his medical records. Tim was far too adept at hacking, so he basically created a decoy medical file to hide it. Was he proud of it? No. But it was necessary. He couldn’t tell his family. He just couldn’t.
Too many people counted on him to be strong. To be their rock. He wouldn’t let anyone down. He refused.
The first time he had a seizure, thankfully he was alone in his apartment in Bludhaven. He had no warning for it, he just felt heavy and dizzy, before he collapsed. It scared the absolute shit out of him, sure. He got himself to A&E to make sure everything was alright, and after having an appointment set up with the neurologist and being told that he wasn’t about to die, he went home.
After various tests and appointments were run, it was confirmed that they were non-epileptic seizures caused by something called functional neurological disorder. Not curable, but manageable.
And by manageable, of course, he basically had to learn to live with it.
Which was doable! Completely doable. He managed. He coped.
It was a hard thing to navigate at first. He doesn’t often get a warning before an episode. It would usually just sneak up on him. But when he did get a warning - that same heavy feeling in his limbs, vision starting to swim - he would push through it as long as he could before getting to a safe hiding place and riding it out. When it would suddenly happen, he just… went with it. He knew how to fall safely, so he wasn’t getting too banged up. It was jarring, but he figured it all out.
He just made sure to limit his contact with the other vigilantes for a while. He got the others to cover his patrols whilst he spent some time rebuilding his confidence. Learning to live in a body that could basically stop functioning at any moment. It wasn’t easy, but he did his best. He dodged questions from his family, avoided calls from his friends. Just saying he needed a little personal time. It was a good enough excuse.
When he felt good enough to get back into the fray, he learned to play off his sudden need to vanish as something silly. Abrupt falls and shaking as play acting. He didn’t know how people actually bought it. But they did. No one questioned him too heavily.
However, as it turns out, it is much harder to lie to a dog than a person.
It was a normal patrol debrief in the bat cave. He and Damian had split up earlier to deal with two separate distress calls, and they were filling each other in on what happened. Titus had quickly joined the duo, sitting loyally by Damian’s side, at first.
But then Titus barked.
Damian paused, looking at his dog, before looking back to Dick.
“Apologies, Titus doesn’t normally cause disruption. As I was saying-”
Titus barks again, now walking up to Dick. Dick looks down at the dog with a smile, offering him a pet.
“Aw, hello to you too buddy. We can play in a minute.”
Then Titus does something Dick doesn’t expect. He jumps up, continuing to bark at Dick. Dick takes a half step back.
“Woah! Easy there buddy.”
Damian has stopped talking, now scanning the interaction between Titus and Dick. Titus is yet to stop barking.
It is whilst Dick is trying to get Titus to settle down that he gets that all-too-familiar feeling that fills his stomach with dread. His limbs are turning heavy, and his vision is starting to blur a little.
“Grayson, lay down.”
Dick looks up to Damian with a raised eyebrow.
“What-?”
“On the floor. Now.”
“Dami-”
“NOW!”
Damian rushes forward, and he and Titus work together to pull Dick to the ground, turning him on his side.
“Titus, fetch Father.”
Titus barks, and darts off. Damian tears off his cape, bundling it up and tucking it under Dick’s head.
“Grayson, Titus has alerted me to a possible seizure. You need to stay…”
Damian’s voice gets quieter and quieter in Dick’s ears as he feels that heavy feeling engulf his entire body, and he squeezes his eyes shut.
Not here. Not now. He didn’t have time to hide.
He knows Damian is still saying something to him. His brother is supporting him from behind so he remains on his side as his body starts to convulse. Dick tunes out everything else and focuses on himself, letting the waves roll over him, riding out the episode as calmly as he can. He’s safe. He’s on the ground, and Damian is supporting his body so he has the least chance of hurting himself.
He isn’t sure how long the episode lasts, but when his body finally stills and he slowly opens his eyes, he can see Bruce and Titus crouched down in front of him, his father figure looking down at him with concern, and Titus waiting patiently.
He feels a pull to turn him onto his back.
“Titus, press.”
Titus barks, and moves to lay his weight on top of Dick, nuzzling his face into Dick’s neck. Dick instinctively brings his arms up around the canine, holding him close, burying his face into Tituts’ fur, not wanting to face the confrontation he knows he is about to have. The cave remains silent for some time, no one daring to say a single word.
Dick tries to keep his breathing steady, to hold back the tears beginning to fall, but he knows he isn’t hiding anything when he chokes on his breath and a sob wracks his entire body.
“It’s okay chum, I’m here. Leslie is on her way. We’ll figure this out.”
Dick shakes his head, finally laying his head on the ground and staring up at the roof of the cave.
“It’s not that.”
Damian speaks and walks around so he is sat next to Bruce, scanning over Dick carefully.
“This isn’t the first seizure Grayson has had.”
Dick catches Bruce’s sharp inhale and winces, but says nothing, focusing on the feeling of Titus’ fur in between his fingers.
“Dick?”
Dick just shakes his head, more tears rolling down his cheeks.
“Son… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Dick can’t bring himself to respond. He stays quiet, clutching to Titus like his life depends on it.
“Come on, chum, we need to move you to the medical bay.”
Damian watches as Dick looks at Titus and sees the need for comfort in Dick’s eyes.
“Titus will stay with you as long as you require, Grayson. He is trained as such. I will go inform Alfred and have him make some hot chocolate.”
Dick looks at Damian, looks at Bruce, who gives him a nod. He lets out a sigh and nods himself, moving to get up. Titus gives Dick space at Damian’s command, and Bruce offers his hand, which Dick accepts. Dick, Bruce, and Titus all make their way to the med-bay as Damian heads up to the manor. Bruce helps Dick get settled in one of the cots, and Titus quickly jumps up to comfort Dick, and Dick holds him close as he takes some deep breaths and tries to calm himself. Bruce doesn’t say anything until Dick does first.
“So… Titus is a trained service dog? Since when?”
Bruce huffs lightly.
“Damian trained him after realising Titus had a natural instinct for when people need help. He’s helped both me and Damian out before. What he’s doing now is called deep pressure therapy.”
Dick nods thoughtfully.
“I think I’ve heard of that.”
“It’s great for a multitude of purposes. I was in similar distress when Damian and Titus calmed me. Titus performed it on me too. I must confess, it certainly is… effective.”
Dick gives Bruce a weak smile.
“You just don’t want to admit you found it comforting.”
Bruce opens his mouth to respond, but Titus beats him to it with a bark, causing Dick to burst out laughing. Bruce can’t help but smile at his son.
It takes a while for Dick to calm down, but by the time he has, Leslie, Alfred, and Damian have joined the two in the med bay.
“Dick, you certainly seem to be doing better than what was described to me on the phone.”
Dick looks somewhat bashful.
“Sorry doctor, I kinda know the problem already.”
“Well, I would still like to check you over just in case. The dog can stay if you’d like.”
“His name is Titus.”
Damian grumbles, but Leslie pays it little mind, already familiar with Damian’s mannerisms.
“Titus can stay if you’d like.”
Dick nods.
“Thanks doc.”
Alfred hands out hot chocolates to everyone whilst Leslie ensures Dick hasn’t been injured during his seizure, before clearing him, and making him promise to send an accurate copy of his medical records, which she will review later. She quickly heads off, leaving the four men and Titus sitting in the med bay together.
Dick sighs and brings a hand to scratch at the back of his neck.
“I’ve… got some explaining to do, huh.”
“Don’t feel pressured, chum. You don’t have to talk about it tonight. But we all want to help you if we can. You… scared me, Dick.”
Dick looks down at his hot chocolate, unable to meet Bruce’s gaze.
“I am surprised you have not considered a service dog of your own, Grayson. They are rather beneficial for situations like yours. Titus caught on to your seizure before you did it seems.”
Dick gives Titus a scratch behind his ears.
“Yeah, I thought about it. I just… I couldn't justify it to myself.”
“I can assure you tonight is more than enough justification.”
Dick hums, and the cave falls silent once more. Bruce moves over to Dick and puts a hand on his shoulder.
“Can you look at me, please?”
Dick slowly brings his eyes to look at Bruce, and Bruce offers him a small smile.
“Whatever you need, whatever you want, we’re here for you, okay? We will figure this out. Together. You aren’t alone.”
Dick smiles and leans into his father, wrapping his arms around him.
“Thanks Bruce.”
Titus huffs, having been lightly squished between the two men, and Dick laughs.
“Yes, thank you too Titus.”
Dick looks over to Damian, who is looking at the scene before him carefully. Dick waves him over, and Damian hesitates a moment, before joining the hug. Dick whispers to him.
“Thank you too, baby bird. You really had my back.”
“Now is not the time for puns, Grayson.”
Dick snorts.
And when Dick glances at Alfred to see a camera in the man’s hand, and Alfred gestures to keep quiet, Dick offers a playful wink.