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A – Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Despite his quiet demeanour Pope can be affectionate when he wants to be. He’s a loving man, driven by his connections to his family, and when you become a part of his life it’s clear you’re not going to be able to leave. It starts with the little things; him offering to carry your things to the car, texting you to check you got home safe, offering to cover the cost of things you might not need but still deserve in his eyes. Despite seeming so erratic and unpredictable at first he can be easy to understand once you get to know him, always driven by his desire to protect – and he’ll be happy to let you lean on him for whatever reason. He’s used to being the strongest, the protector of whoever he’s with, and he’ll throw hands with whatever or whoever might cause problems for you.
Yet despite his intimacy with violence, Pope’s true affection shows when he’s forced to be soft. He can make people run and bleed easily enough, but make them stay? That’s something he’s less confident with. But he realises soon enough that he can’t force you to stay out of fear, that seeing anything other than contentment or comfort in your eyes makes him feel dirty, like a man undeserving of your company. So he pushes himself to learn, and although he’s still shaky he’s learning to show affection in the more socially accepted ways, glancing at you with wide, uncertain eyes to check you’re comfortable. He’ll push his boundaries for you, trying to learn, trying to be better, and although he fails and falls back on his progress at times your approval and support mean he manages to keep going.
B – Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Although Pope is many things, his deepest positive trait is his loyalty. As a friend Pope has your back for life – you’d have to betray him deeply to have a chance of shaking his trust, and even then he’d probably forgive you. He trusts rarely, but once he does he isn’t leaving you alone. It can be a flaw of his, so desperate for approval and community that he looks past the blatant red flags he knows will bite him in the ass a couple months down the line, but with you he knows he doesn’t have to worry – you wouldn’t betray him, would you?
He’s also painfully blunt – if you’ve done something he thinks is stupid, he’s sure as hell going to say it to your face. He can keep a secret when he needs to, but why keep things from you? He values honesty deeply, and he would expect the same level of sincerity and clarity back from you. He’s never liked people who dance around the topic at hand and expect him to dive through their layers of irony or subtext.
C – Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Pope loves to cuddle. He’s hesitant at first, like a big dog in a new place, never sure where to put his legs or his arms or how to sit right in your house. Is he allowed here? Is this safe? Is he being watched? Do you expect something of him? But after a little soothing he’s happy to have you pressed up against his side or on his lap, one hand gently running over your thigh or arm, his face pressed into your shoulder and breathing in the scent of your hair. He knows he’s home.
Physical touch has always been a way he shows love, especially with his family. His skinship was strong with Julia when they were kids, and although his brothers have always been difficult to deal with he’s always been weak to a hug as an apology. Smurf is the most difficult for him to reconcile with – she manipulated and used him from birth, muddying the line between maternal and romantic love enough for him to feel a dirty kind of weight in his belly as he feels your body against his. It’s hard for him to know whether he’s crossed an unspoken line, leading to him not attempting to do anything at all, but with a little prompting from you he sinks into your arms.
He shows love through his actions more than his words, always the quiet one of the family. When he holds you against him and sighs quietly against your skin, letting his eyes flutter shut, know that he loves you. All he wants deep down is to be held and loved, to be allowed to rest and be safe for at least an hour or two, and when he’s breathing in the scent of your shampoo he knows that’s exactly what he has.
D – Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
Domesticity is a difficult topic for Pope. On one hand he’s been surrounded by his family all his life, always the protector, always the one willing to do the dirty work for the good of his mother and siblings. He’s intimately acquainted with the idea of having a family unit, of being deeply loyal to your blood and protecting what’s yours. But true domesticity, the idea of unconditional love, of taking care of each other without violence and bloodshed? It’s lost on him.
He’s constantly waiting for the penny to drop, for you to realise he isn’t worth your time, for you to up and leave. But as the months go by and you don’t, he begins to wonder whether your way of doing things really is possible. He’s always liked smaller, domestic jobs around the house, keeping his hands busy by fixing up a broken fence or cleaning out the dishwasher, and when he realises that won’t come with extra expectations from you he begins to relax. There’s no money hidden behind the washer, no gun stashed away beneath the flagstones – you have a proper, normal home. One where he’s welcome, where he gets to play the role of boyfriend, where he gets to do the normal, mundane stuff. And he finds he quite likes it.
E – Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Pope might deny it when around his brothers or Smurf, but he would be devastated if things had to end between the two of you. Your presence is a welcome invite to normality, an easy, comfortable offer of domesticity with no cruel strings attached, and the thought of cutting that connection means crawling back to his biological family. With no connection to the saner outside world he would struggle to establish his independence within the family and likely fall back into his position of protector of the family, risking his neck to earn a feeling of belonging.
He’s never liked texting or talking over the phone, always preferring to talk in person where he knows he (most likely) isn’t being spied on, so he’d probably break up with you in person too. He’d mumble out his words, awkward and uncertain, stiffening as he expected a blow. If it was Smurf who was the reason you two broke up, he’d probably deserve it in his eyes – he’d be painfully ashamed of his lack of balls, his weakened resolve.
F – Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
Pope never thought he would marry. Not even as a kid being teased about girls on the playground did he consider it a possibility for himself, that underlying dirty otherness beneath his skin making him an outsider in the world of love. He knew his mother loved him, but that was because she birthed him, and he knew Julia loved him because they were in the same fucked-up situation as each other. Why would someone else want that kind of commitment? No, Pope knew he wouldn’t ever find love the way Baz had, despite how much it made him want to scream when Catherine slept with him and then insisted there was nothing between them. Why offer him a taste of normality just to snatch it away?
But with you, the normality seemed consistent. He’s always been a committed person, eager to see things through and complete them, and when he grows to see you as part of his family he’ll sure as hell fight to keep you close. Marriage and kids still feel like a distant dream for him, his thoughts of being a father feeling less like a sweet wish and more of a dirty, shameful desire. Perhaps that’ll change with time, but for now he’s happy to take things slow.
G – Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
Despite what he might say, Pope is damn good at being gentle. He shows it quietly, never as outwardly affectionate as others, subtly lowering his voice and losing that sharper, curter tone he uses with his brothers. He uses it most with Lena, softening his words as one big hand rubs her back, soothing her after losing her toy or having an argument with someone at school.
He doesn’t use it sparingly with you, either. Once he knows he can trust you he begins to let his guard down, letting his voice quieten, not worrying about saying the right or wrong thing. Of course he still hesitates and that low raspiness never fully leaves his voice, perhaps it never will, but he’s able to be gentle when it matters.
H – Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
Pope’s never had a stable relationship before you, never really understood how a proper relationship was meant to feel, and before he mustered the courage to kiss you he hugged you instead. His hugs are warm and firm, his strong arms pulling you into his chest, his face nuzzling into your neck – he can sometimes feel guilty before kissing you, unsure of whether he’s read you wrong and unsure of whether he’s allowed to, so a hug is always a safe bet.
He loves hugs, though. As mentioned before he’s very physical, liking the sensation of you against him, the scent and tactile sensation of having you right up against him in a way he can’t argue mentally about. You’re there, right there, and if you’re the one initiating then that means you want him. He’ll wrap you up tight, holding you closer with his strong arms, keeping you safe against his chest and muttering quiet reassurances under his breath.
I – I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
Honestly, he’d probably wait for you to say it first. He’s uncertain at the best of times, waiting for you to make the first move, happy to let you lead a little if it means he knows you aren’t uncomfortable with how he moves his hands or what he says to you. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel it – your approval means a lot to him, he’s just afraid of scaring you off, of being too intense like always. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, he’s just used to the phrase being used as a threat, as a way to corner him, so he’ll appreciate a little tenderness.
There’s a very rare chance he might say it first on a quiet night inside, his head on your lap, the light dim and the streets outside quiet, your fingers in his hair. Perhaps it slips out accidentally, your nails massaging his scalp and gently coaxing the words from his lips in an unnaturally sleepy haze. He’d blink, staring up at you with an unreadable but undeniably uncertain look, but he’d calm right down if you say it back.
J – Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
Pope isn’t a severely possessive man, but that doesn’t mean he won’t get jealous if he doesn’t have you around him as often as he likes. He’s always had difficulty sharing and he’s never really understood the concept of sharing with the general public. Other people aren’t really something he thinks about, just bland swaths of bodies in his way or acting as means to an end, so he’s never cared about obeying rules or laws he considers to be stupid or irrelevant to him. He doesn’t like to kill people, to hurt people, but when anyone who fits into that category of ‘other’ gets in his way he tends to forget his manners.
That being said, he can’t stand you being far from him. You’re so weak in comparison to him, so… vulnerable. He doesn’t mean to be an asshole when he says it to you, he just worries. He’s used to watching his back, so doing the same for you comes naturally. His hand usually rests on your hip or lower back, nonverbally marking you as kept, digging in a little more if a stranger tries to talk to you. It’s not that he doesn’t allow you your independence, he’s happy to let you roam, always wanting you to return of your own accord. He just worries.
K – Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Kisses from Pope are usually gentle but intense, just like him. His favourite way to kiss you is with one hand firmly on the back of your back, holding you still and pulling you into his chest as he presses his lips against yours. His hands might grow a little passionate, roaming down your waist, but no matter how rough he might get his mouth never grows forceful.
His favourite place to kiss you is on the lips, of course – he’s a bit of a romantic deep down. When someone is looking at you in a way they shouldn’t what better way to show you’re his than to pull you in and silence you with a kiss? He’s also a sucker for hickeys, always wanting to leave little marks and bruises over your neck when you’re cooking or reading, enjoying the visual reminder of what you two have.
L – Little ones (How are they around children?
Pope’s wonderful with kids, if a little awkward once there’s adults around. Where he struggles to figure out his place among adults, he finds that kids seem to like his quiet stability and ability to keep them safe. Lena especially seemed to gravitate to his cool rigidity in the face of so much change, and he was eager to fill in the space in her life that Baz seemed all too happy to create. He’s happy to play pretend and embarrass himself if it’ll make her smile, always taking her out if she wants to go to the beach or the park, unable to say no to her. Perhaps part of it stems from his own lack of childhood, eager to relive it in a kinder way through Lena – or perhaps it’s just that desire to be needed creeping out of him again. His desire to be a father, something unspeakable, is rooted heavily in his yearning for normality and that want to be the protector of someone weaker.
Regardless of his own issues, he knows where to draw the line. He can’t stand to see Lena involved with any kind of criminal business, passively or actively, and when he’s having his weekly clean of the house he’ll clear out any kind of incriminating material he finds at head-height for her. Lena asked him about his gun a few months after Catherine’s death, curious about how shiny it was, how loud it could be – and he’d simply grinned and beared it. That night he’d shoved it away under a floorboard by the door, unable to stomach the sight of it, resigning himself to whatever fate might befall him if someone decided to break in and hurt him while unarmed. His hands had stayed palm-down on the mattress as he stared up at the ceiling, not trusting himself to look down at them. Implicating kids is a firm line he won’t ever cross.
M – Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Pope’s definitely a morning person. And an evening person, too. He just doesn’t sleep much, always up at the crack of dawn, working out or chopping wood or doing God knows what else. He likes to keep busy and keep out of your way when he’s in that restless kind of state, knowing he’ll wake you easily. Sometimes he’ll sneak back to bed when he knows you’ll be waking, though, sitting on the side of the bed and watching you for half an hour to wait for you to join him.
He isn’t a perfect cook but he has a few recipes he knows well, good enough to get by for you both. He enjoys the repetition of them, having them memorised, enjoying the therapeutic feel of completing a numbered task. Expect a perfectly portioned breakfast cooked to perfection, so long as you have the exact ingredients – otherwise you might be better off handling the food.
N – Night (How are nights spent with them?)
Some nights Pope shows up in the middle of the night, either letting himself in if he’s got a key or finding a way in otherwise. It isn’t that he doesn’t respect your personal space! He just…. doesn’t want to stay at home with Smurf and the boys some nights. He’ll happily sit on the couch in silence on nights like those, but once you caught on you insisted he slept in bed with you. He didn’t protest much, allowing you to take care of him and stroke his hair as he laid down beside you, happy to be led. Sleeping isn’t something he does often, but the sound of your gentle breathing beside him was enough to relax his racing nervous system, soothing him into getting a little rest.
Most of the time he hangs out in his apartment, a bland little space, but it’s his. He sure as hell doesn’t want to sleep back at home with Smurf and the guys, and as grey and dull as his apartment is it feels fitting. He’s used to the minimal comforts of a prison cell, to the extent that being invited to your place doesn’t feel quite right, like he’s not meant to be there. But of course, he can be coaxed into resting his head beside you with a couple soft words and a pleading look.
O – Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
Pope takes his time to open up. It can be frustrating to be close to him when he takes so long to expose his soft underbelly, but unlearning over three decades’ worth of abuse takes time. He drops hints every now and then, mentioning how his hands might be a little dirty or how Smurf might not be everything she seems, insinuating something deeper while glancing at you with those dark puppy-dog eyes to check whether you’ll run. Because that’s his fear: that he’ll scare you. He’s so used to fear being the reaction he usually elicits to the point that sometimes it’s a relief. At least he knows how to understand and deal with that kind of response. But when you react with softness? It makes his jaw tighten and his blunt nails dig into his palms, eyes dark and unblinking as he stares at you, searching for any sign of betrayal.
When none comes, his shoulders relax. Only a little the first time, but after week after week of him testing you and checking he won’t get bitten he seems to breathe a little easier, a little deeper. It’s always a work in progress with him, but he’ll promise you that he’s trying.
P – Patience (How easily angered are they?)
Pope can be patient, but only when it isn’t personal. When it comes to doing a job he can seem erratic and unreliable, but he isn’t an idiot – he knows when to take a step back and when not to rock the boat. He takes his time with planning things, having learnt his lesson about leaving the planning to others after his little three-year stint in jail, and he’s methodical and precise, hating to leave any margin for error. But he’s only human and his emotions can cloud his judgement, especially when Smurf is breathing down his neck.
However, he has no patience when it comes to something personal. Those close to him know it best – the way his teeth might just crack under the pressure of his jaw working away, his eyes narrowing slightly like a hawk staring at something that just might become its next meal. He can’t stand being wronged by those close to him, quick to fly off the handle. When it’s you he might be a little more understanding, a little more able to be reasoned with, but with thirty years of resentment for his brothers and their situation simmering away he’s quick to bite before thinking.
Q – Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Pope’s got a great memory. He always seems to see things a little differently from the other Codys, remembering the little details and the smaller aspects others might not. He can be a stickler for detail, always meticulous, always organised and filing away little tidbits of information for later.
When it comes to you, that manifests in his interest in collecting things about you. Whether it’s knowing your favourite restaurant, your favourite brand of chocolate, the way you like the car seat at just the right height or your strange distaste for the colour blue, he’ll remember. He takes pride in it, especially when his mention of something he remembered about you makes you smile. He’s a good gift-giver because of it, always eager to surprise you with something he knows you’ll love. It gives him a warm sensation of comfortable possessiveness down in his chest, a contentedness in your relationship. You see him, you see how he tries – and you’re happy with him.
R – Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)
Surprisingly enough, it’s his bad days with you that Pope remembers the most fondly. He’s got countless nice memories of you at the beach, at the park with Lena, out eating together – but it’s when he’s been at his worst that he’s seen just how dedicated you are to him. One time a few months ago speaks to him particularly, one evening after a job went wrong and he’d just escaped the house during a shouting match. Deran and Craig were arguing with Baz, J silently watching as Smurf scoffed at them all, a beer bottle thrown across the room as Pope slammed the door shut and escaped into the night. He could handle the fighting and the bullshit of his family, but the job had scared him. They’d almost been caught, just barely escaping by the skin of their teeth, still running on adrenaline alone as Pope ended up sitting on the steps of your porch with his head in his hands.
He doesn’t remember a lot of it, honestly – he doesn’t tend to remember the days when he feels that distraught and uncertain – but he certainly remembers the way you’d spoken to him. Soft and gentle like always, your hands on his rough jaw, cradling him like something forgivable, something innocent. Some primal part of his brain had screamed in terror, the way your nails grazed his cheek reminiscent of Smurf’s talons, but no slap came. No slap, no screaming, no insults or berating words, just that gentle look in your eyes as you held him gently.
He’d probably cried. He would feel ashamed if he could remember it, so perhaps forgetting was a kindness, but he knows that kind of softness makes him weep. It’s a gesture he isn’t used to, and he holds the memory of you holding him close to his heart.
S – Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
It’s no secret that Pope’s an unstable man, struggling to walk the line between too intense and too passive, too socially awkward and too aggressive. He finds that that doesn’t change when you’re around – some days he wants you all to himself, refusing to let you out of his sight, and some days he’s happy to let you wander, trusting you’ll come back to him. Part of it is insecurity, a worry deep down that you might leave him, but he’s right not to let you mess around with people bigger than you. He’s always willing to stand by your side like a loyal guard dog, keeping you safe.
Of course, sometimes his protectiveness can veer towards paranoia. His fears aren’t unfounded, but he can be overly cautious and fearful when it comes to those close to him, very black and white with how he sees threats. Others are either with him, or they aren’t – and he can be incredibly hesitant to give you your space if it scares him. He can be soothed, and with a little coaxing he’ll probably calm down a bit, but it’s a deep-rooted fear of his that you might end up disappearing.
T – Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
Pope’s a bit of a romantic at heart – or at least he’s trying to be. He can feel unsure of whether he’s doing things right, always a little self-conscious and lacking confidence in his ability to fit in with what’s expected of him as a boyfriend, but he tries damn hard to make you feel loved. If you want big bouquets and grand gestures, he’ll do it, but he’ll always prefer a quieter date at home. He likes romantic things, the idea of traditional dates and romance, the idea of doing things the socially expected way. The ‘correct’ way. It boosts his confidence when he manages to do things right, especially in your eyes, making him feel like a man.
Although he’s quiet, he puts a lot of effort into his gifts and date nights with you. It isn’t hard to see how deeply he thinks about things, silently watching you, analysing you, figuring you out; it’s obvious he’s trying to work out what you’d like most from him. He’ll ask you upfront sometimes, always very blunt, but he’s pretty good at not needing a hint and being able to take initiative.
U – Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
He’s a control freak. He likes to know what’s going to happen, what’s going to go down – and he always wants to have a backup plan. He sure as hell isn’t going back to prison again, after all. That fear of helplessness extends to you, too; he can be possessive and overly protective, worrying about threats that don’t seem to be there, paranoid and anxious.
He’s also erratic – it doesn’t come as much of a surprise, but Pope’s way of thinking doesn’t seem to match that of the general population. He isn’t stupid, he has reasons for what he does, but he’s far more willing to break laws and bones to get where he feels he needs to be. He has his own moral code, it seems, but it sure as hell isn’t easy to figure out. You’ll have to bring the stability to the relationship.
V – Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Pope isn’t a fancy guy, not really interested in flashy clothes or fast cars, but that doesn’t mean he’s a slob. He’s a bit of a neat freak, always staying clean and presentable, his nails clean and short and his hair neatly combed back, his top button always done up and his clothes always neat and tidy. He’ll buy himself a nice shirt or new pair of shoes every once in a while, liking the feeling of being clean and sharp, but he doesn’t bother with any fancy brand names or flashy colours. Blending in seems to be a priority of his, despite his demeanour, and he doesn’t care much for sticking out any more than he has to.
W – Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
After a year of having you in his life, Pope would be able to confidently say you’d made it whole. His loyalty knows no bounds now that you’re fully part of his family and letting you go would break him. He isn’t good with change or any kind of differences in his expected routine, and he’s grown used to seeing you often and expecting your warmth beside him. It’s nice not to wake up alone any more in a grey, miserable apartment – you’ve brought colour to his life in a way he hasn’t really had before.
X – Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
Pope is very insecure about his dependence on his mother. Smurf purposely made him unable to function alone, unable to trust himself and always crawling back to her for help with the smallest of things. He has a difficult enough relationship with his masculinity and identity as it is, but his lack of independence is something he’s never fully reconciled with. He resents his own lack of backbone, unsure who he really is outside the framework of the family he was raised in, and he soaks up any compliment regarding his masculinity like a sponge. The first time you called him your ‘man’ he visibly lit up, standing a little straighter, his head a little higher, just a hint of a little smile at the corner of his lips. Call him handsome and reassure him that he’s enough and he’ll be absolutely whipped for you.
He’s also an obsessive cleaner. It’s canon that he’s a bit of a germophobe, but he’s specifically excessive with cleaning his space, his things and himself. The obsession manifests itself especially after something goes wrong, after he can’t take control of a situation and he feels lost – keeping extreme order and cleanliness with his own possessions is a way for him to cope with the fear of being powerless. He sinks instantly into the ritual; going through his closet and throwing his clothes down, frustratedly ironing them until they’ll never crease again, combing his hair until his scalp is raw, taking his clothes off before a shower and holding them away from him as though they’re tainted with something vile, repeatedly shifting the shampoo bottles millimetre by millimetre until they’re just right. He prays he won’t accidentally knock them on his way out of the shower or he might end up staring at the wall until the sun comes up – cleanliness is the closest thing to Godliness that he might ever get.
Y – Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Bad hygiene is also something Pope can’t stand. He could probably learn to tolerate it if it wasn’t a conscious choice, perhaps if you were too sick to take care of yourself, but it’ll never be something he’s fully comfortable with. His time at Folsom exacerbated his fear badly, three years spent living in pain and squalor making him disturbed by any kind of dirt of grime, especially bodily fluids. He can manage taking care of you or Lena when you’re unwell for a couple days at most, able to brave the germs if needed, but on bad days he’s unable to share a bath with you or sometimes even touch you. He can’t stand the idea of being contaminated (or, more likely, contaminating you), so he struggles deeply with touch and intimacy when there’s germs around or if he’s having a bad time in general.
As much as he feels conflicted about it, Pope can’t handle you criticising his family too much. If he’s the one to bring up the topic then it’s fair game and he’ll probably agree with most of what you have to say, but if he isn’t in the right headspace for the conversation then he’ll clam right up. He knows Smurf has probably done more bad than good for him in the long run, he knows that running and leaving is probably the only way he’ll ever be able to feel free, but then what? Who is he beyond her influence? Who is he when not the eldest son, the man of the house, the sick child, the stupid boy? You seem to believe there’s more to him than that, but he isn’t ready or willing to absorb your words, and as much as it makes him uneasy it’s become a sort of elephant in the room between you both. He’ll listen to what you have to say, but you’re going to have to be gentle.
Z – Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)
Although Pope doesn’t sleep often, he still likes to curl up in bed beside you, one arm thrown over your waist to hold you close. He likes the sound of your breathing, the gentle rise and fall of your chest as you rest beside him, touched by the trust you show him.
On the odd occasion that he actually does sleep, he’s completely still, motionless and barely even seeming like he’s breathing. He’s a dead weight, heavy wherever his body meets yours, but he’s a light sleeper and will wake at any hint of a sound. He just doesn’t seem to need as much sleep as other people, always up at the crack of dawn, either heading to the kitchen to make breakfast for you both or staying frozen beside you and silently watching as you sleep.