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Kaelix was struggling.
Kaelix is pathetic. he really is. he admits it wholeheartedly. without a single doubt. remember the REPO streams? where he was the only one alive and was crying about it like an abandoned puppy? yeah. Kaelix couldn't help it. yes, he's the bouncer, and these things shouldn't frighten him all that much.
but he's fragile. cut him some slack.
so when Kaelix finally realized something when talking to his senpai, Yu Q. Wilson, he was totally screwed. he finally put the pieces together that he really is interested in the blond. and actually is interested in a relationship with the ex-hitman.
who wouldn't? those moments where he'd act like a total tsundere, making it clear he was only doing something because he was being forced to when in reality he just really cared about his friends. how expressive he was and how you could just hear what he's thinking even without him talking. and god, his smile. when Wilson beamed at him for the first time, Kaelix nearly ascended. those sparkling blue eyes, filled with such happiness. Kaelix just wanted to cup the little hamster man in his hands and protect him forever.
but! he's getting ahead of himself now, isn't he? he can't "keep" him. he wasn't even his to begin with! and was the man in question even aware of Kaelix's feelings? maybe, now that the bouncer thought about it. the albino could be awfully obvious, much to his dismay. if Wilson had an inkling, he didn't show it. Kaelix prayed he was oblivious.
but that would complicate the situation more, wouldn't it? ahh, he was overthinking it again.
"careful, if you think any harder your head might explode."
Kaelix's head snaps up. "what?!"
Millie, the witch she is, cackles at Kaelix's baffled response. she takes a sip of her drink. "never change, kouhai."
Kaelix pouts and the hero beside him bumps his shoulder. "don't pay her any attention. she thrives on the suffering of others."
"I'm well aware," the bouncer chuckles, scratching his neck. "I'm just too obvious sometimes."
"what has you so occupied?" Vanta asks curiously. then he puts a hand on Kaelix's shoulder, face serious. "you can tell me anything, son."
Kaelix nervously laughs again. he considers it in his mind. well, Vanta senpai is one of three people closest to Wilson. and he also gave really good advice and insight. and and he seems very serious about helping Kaelix…
"well," Kaelix starts, ducking his head shyly. "there's someone I like, a-and I want them to…know? i don't know."
Millie suddenly steps in front of Kaelix, holding her cup to the side as he stared up at the bouncer. the man looks around with wide eyes, avoiding eye contact. "you have a crush?! who is it?!"
"someone really awesome," he sighs, then shakes his head like a dog in the rain. "i don't have much experience at all, and since Vanta senpai offered, i hope he'll give me some good advice."
Vanta sniffles, wiping imaginary tears. "they grow up so fast…"
"Vanta senpai!"
"okay okay, I'll be serious." Vanta taps his chin in thought, choosing to sit down at the nearest bench. the three of them decided to reconnect with nature and touch some grass at a park. "just tell them how you feel."
"it's a lot easier than it sounds," Kaelix sighs again, sitting beside the hero with a plop. "I'm really scared."
"it's okay bro just rizz," Millie pipes up, settling beside the bouncer. she wiggles her eyebrows. "you have the kicked puppy rizz. you got that."
"jeez, thanks Millie senpai."
"are they aware at all of how you feel?" Vanta asks.
Kaelix shrugs. "I've honestly no clue. thinking about if they know and just choosing to ignore it is lowkey stressing me out."
"i think it'd stress anyone out, to be honest." Vanta furrows his eyebrows. "I mean, the best way to let someone know how you feel is by telling them directly. because if you do it indirectly, there's so many opportunities where communication can get really messed up. and I'm sure you don't want that to happen."
"i don't," Kaelix agrees with an eager nod. he groans and puts his face in his hands. "but what if they reject me? it's so scary!"
"love can be scary, but you'll never know what could've been. that'll eat at you for a while," Millie responds, patting Kaelix's shoulder. "don't worry, you can ask Zali for some tips. don't ask Vantacrow Fumblebringer how to rizz the huzz."
"seriously, Millie?!"
"what? you said it yourself! didn't Shu literally hand you the ball one time and you still fumbled it?"
"that's different. and how the hell did you know about that? matter of fact, how do you still remember that? that stream was a while ago!"
"i remember all your flaws, Vanta…"
"okay, just tell me to go fuck myself, Millie. anyway, Kaelix." Vanta turns to the albino, firmly pressing his hand onto his shoulder as Millie snickers behind him. Kaelix felt a bit jittery meeting the hero's eyes. "just be yourself. your silly, goofy, and seriously cool self. you're an awesome guy, and anyone with a good pair of eyes can see that. if you're still feeling scared, that's okay. meet them somewhere private. someplace that'll make you feel comfortable. rehearse what you want to say. hell, write it all down like some sort of love letter. just do whatever feels most like you. it'll feel more authentic that way. and I'm positive the lucky person will appreciate it."
Kaelix's mouth quivered as he blinks furiously. he sniffs loudly. "Vanta senpai…" he makes audible touched Kaelix sounds as he hides his face once more. "you're so nice to me!"
"i mean it! i just want what's best for you bro," Vanta says with a chuckle, rubbing Kaelix's shoulder reassuringly.
"it'll help you grow. no matter what happens, we'll be by your side bro," Millie adds, giving two thumbs up.
"thank you guys, it means so much to me… i just really hope i don't mess it up."
"if you do, it's fine! everyone makes mistakes, son. no one's perfect."
"i am."
"ignore her. she's like, two apples tall."
"hey!"
Kaelix bursts into laughter, rising and glancing up at the sun. "you guys are awesome. thank you both so much again. next time i see him, I'll be sure to tell him how i really feel."
and then he starts walking along the path, whistling a tune.
Millie grabs Vanta's shoulders and shakes him hard. "he said "him"!"
"holy shit, that's sick."
"i know who it is!"
"who?"
"it's Willy!"
Vanta chokes. "HUH?!"
Millie stops shaking him with a shocked expression. "are you serious right now? have you not seen the way Kaelix lights up like a tree on Christmas everytime he's around Wilson? or how he always seems to be mentioning him? do you not remember Wilson complaining about how he's always "in the spotlight" or whatever and said that Kaelix talks about him all the time?"
"dude, what are you even talking about?"
"guys! what are you waiting for?" Kaelix's voice calls.
Millie releases Vanta with a disappointed look. "you're so dumb, bro."
"what the fuck?!"
Millie hops up and runs towards Kaelix with a wave. Kaelix smiles widely as Millie rams into him. he laughs loudly and dramtically falls to the floor. Vanta finally gets up, gears turning in his head.
'holy shit, is Millie right? for once?!'
and right she was, right as rain.