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English
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Lexicona's Song Parodies
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Published:
2026-03-01
Words:
240
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
1
Kudos:
9
Hits:
67

Do You Want to Shoot a Na'vi? (It Doesn't Have to Be a Na'vi!)

Summary:

A song parody emulating (of all things) "Do you want to Build a Snowman?" from Disney's Frozen (2013), written by Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez. The first verse takes place in 2154 (when the two are still humans and features an oblique cameo from baby Spider), the second verse takes place during Way of Water, and the final verse takes place immediately after, when the two are trying to establish contact with other so they can rendezvous with each other.

Notes:

I was Watching TFS's "Do You Want to Kill a Planet?" song parody and this came to mind since Quaritch seems well on his way to emulating Vegeta's character development. The "I Grapple With Thee" bit is a reference to Moby Dick, chapter 135 (I could never get through the damn novel myself, but supposedly it's what Ahab says to the titular whale), while the "Dark" is a reference to the Joseph Conrad Novella "Heart of Darkness", which features a character named Kurtz who parallels Quaritch in many ways; here being used to refer to the jungle outside Hell's Gate and how the Sec-Ops team view it as a threat.

Work Text:

Human!Lyle: [Rhythmic knocking on a door]

Human!Lyle [Spoken]: Colonel?

Human!Lyle: Do you wanna shoot a Na'vi?

Let's go out there today!

You never go into the dark, no guts no spark!

It’s like it's here you wanna stay!

We don’t really know each other (and that’s OK), I don’t think that’s gonna change…

Human!Lyle: Do you wanna shoot a Na'vi?

It doesn't have to be a Na'vi!

Human!Quaritch [Spoken, muffled through the walls, trying to awkwardly hold his infant son]:

Dismissed, Corporal!

Human!Lyle: Okay, bye…

[Fifteen Years pass. They’re Now Recoms]

Recom!Lyle: Do you wanna shoot a Na'vi?

Or fly our banshees ‘round the skies?

I think a murder spree is overdue,

we’ve started killing all the Tulkuns that go by!

Recom!Lyle [Spoken, to a Tulkun]: “I grapple with thee”, ya filthy space whale!

Recom!Lyle: I’m starting to feel lonely,

since you’ve got your kid;

Scoresby’s watching the quotas rise…

Recom!Lyle: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Ten!

[Instrumental Break]

Recom!Lyle [Spoken, over his comms]: Colonel?

Recom!Lyle: I know you hear me…Deja Blu’s gone, but we’re still here.

I wanna know what our next move should be,

It’s only you and me, not that traitor Jake Sully…

Recom!Lyle: We’re the only two remaining, just the both of us.

I don’t want to lose you, too…

Recom!Lyle [Shakily]: …Do you wanna shoot a Na'vi?

[Forlorn Music]