Work Text:
Wei Wuxian paused. Lan Zhan looked… more? More. He wasn't sure how someone like Lan Zhan could elevate his appearance, but it was intensified with the Lan Zhanness. Lan Wangji concentrate. "You look very nice," he settled on.
"I have a date," Lan Zhan informed him, straightening the folds in his cuffs.
If Lan Zhan's look made him pause, that sentence froze him.
"Arranged by Lan Elders," he continued, as though that was an explanation.
It wasn't.
"Egghhh?" He managed to croak.
"Mn," Lan Zhan agreed with him, misinterpreting whatever sound Wei Wuxian had made as something he agreed with.
The thing was Wei Ying had no idea what sound he made. One of horror, he could identify with the small section of his brain still capable of thought.
Wei Wuxian felt queasy, his stomach cramping as he thought of Lan Zhan in his crisp white shirt sitting across from another man. He watched Lan Zhan put on his coat and thought about him kissing another man goodnight.
Oh, he realized as Lan Zhan closed the door behind him.
Oh no.
He was homophobic.
x.x.x.
wwx: do you think I'm homophobic?
jc: no? aren't you bi?
wwx: NO??
jc: ?????
jc: what the fuck is going on with you and Lan Wangji then? I thought you were living together.
wwx: he's my ROOMMATE not my ~roommate~
wwx: and yes he's gay but we're not fucking
wwx: in FACT he's going on a date tonight with someone else
wwx: so there!
That was, categorically, the least helpful Jiang Cheng had ever been. He didn't even get to outline the problem, which was that Lan Wangji was going on a date tonight and Wei Wuxian felt a pit of disgust in his stomach. When he thought about it, the idea of seeing Lan Wangji date a man made him want to puke. It was a problem. Wei Wuxian didn't want to be the kind of person who felt disgust over a man dating another man. It was unconscionable that his own brain would behave in such a cruel manner.
He'd thought better of himself. He really did. He couldn't reconcile it.
He decided to make a list. A list had to be more helpful than his brother.
Living together! pffft. Lan Zhan was the best person in the whole world, but they weren't ✨living together!✨ And maybe they wouldn't be living together as roommates for much longer if Wei Wuxian couldn't figure his shit out. Lan Zhan didn't deserve a roommate who wanted to puke at the thought of him with another man.
Reasons why I might be homophobic :(
The idea of two men together bothers me
The idea of seeing two men together in my apartment bothers me
The idea of two men fucking in my apartment while I'm in the next room bothers me
He paused. The first part of the list had been easy to think of, the ideas coming to him faster than he could write them. It hurt something deep inside him to put them in writing because he wasn't that person. He'd never been that person before. Was it that his brain saw a big difference between theoretical gay people and real gay people? He hadn't suspected anything until Lan Wangji went from being gay (passive) to being gay (active) and he hated that knowledge.
what if they get married?
What if they got married, though? It would change everything. He'd have to move out, or Lan Wangji would have to move out, and everything would be different. And awful.
He sent a picture of the list to his siblings group chat. His sister would know what to make of it and his brother would do whatever it was Jiang Cheng did when trying to be helpful.
jc: you're not homophobic you dumbass you're jealous
wwx: jealous???
wwx: of LAN ZHAN?
wwx: I don't even know the guy he's on a date with, why would I want to date him?
jc: why am i spelling this out for you?
jc: you're jealous he's not dating you!
wwx: 😂😂😂
wwx: that's hilarious.
jc: for fucksakes.
jc: i'm not your fucking therapist. and you need one, holy shit.
jc: but if i was your therapist i'd wonder if it's "two men" or "lan wangji and another man"
jc: as a thought experiment
Wei Wuxian threw his phone on his bed. He didn't know why Jiang Cheng was so fixated on this. He got up and went to pee, then stared in the fridge mindlessly. He thought about texting Lan Zhan to see how the date was going, but what if the guy had brought Lan Zhan back to his place and they were doing gay things. Together. Alone.
He was going to throw up at the thought.
Ok. Ok. He thought, rubbing his hands over his arms. Ok. He could do that.
Two men: Wen Ning and his boyfriend.
He didn't want to throw up. Objectively, they were cute together. He'd even seen them kiss and it hadn't registered as anything other than two people in a relationship kissing.
Two men: Lan Wangji and his date 🤮
He gagged a little just thinking about it.
Two men: Song Zichen and Xiao Xingchen.
They were life goals to be honest. So happy and solid in their long term relationship, he could only hope to find someone like that someday.
The thought calmed him. Ok, he wasn't broadly homophobic. He was just situationally homophobic towards Lan Zhan's date.
He said as much to his sibling group chat.
JC: you. Are. Jealous. And. Stupid.
wwx: hey!!!
So unhelpful. He didn't know why he expected any different.
He then went to go eat his feelings about it.
There wasn't any junk food in the apartment because Lan Zhan didn't eat it and Wei Wuxian commonly felt inspired by Lan Zhan's healthiness and tended to eat better in his presence (and also competitively work out because Lan Zhan's body was like whoooaa and Wei Ying wanted it for himself).
It took him 13 minutes to go buy a giant take out container of spicy noodles and get back to their apartment. It took him another 7 to inhale the food while staring mournfully at his phone willing it to light up with answers.
He probably should have gotten a double order, he thought, ignoring his indigestion. Then at least he'd have something to do with his hands and to occupy his brain.
What if, he catastrophized, Lan Zhan returned home with the date and Wei Wuxian puked all over them?
Actually.
Would that solve everything?
Surely, the date would never come back after witnessing Lan Zhan dropping everything to take care of poor sick Wei Ying. And he would drop everything. Lan Zhan was incapable of seeing Wei Ying in distress and not helping him.
He daydreamed about that scenario for a bit, enjoying all the ways he would win. The date would be covered in vomit and all of Lan Zhan's attention would be on him.
As it should be.
He smugly worked through what he would say. 'Oh I'm sorry. Lan Zhan, I don't feel good. Will you help me to bed?' And then Lan Zhan would leave his date in the hallway and take Wei Ying to bed and bring him some tea for his stomachache and ignore the date!
Brilliant!
Infallible!
And he'd never know Wei Ying was homophobic because the date would leave in an angry huff as Lan Zhan put all his focus on his poor sick roommate!!
Perfect!
But what if, he thought, the daydream slipping away from him, the date was kind? If the date was kind they might help Lan Zhan clean up and make the tea. Lan Zhan deserved someone kind so it would be a special kind of torture for Wei Wuxian, to eat crow over his failed ploy while stewing in jealousy over Lan Zhan finding someone who—
Oh.
Oh!
Oh no, Jiang Cheng was right all along.
Welp. He just wasn't going to acknowledge the sibling group chat for a while.
x.x.x
"How was your date?" He asked Lan Zhan, desperately staring into his face for a sign it went well. Lan Zhan only looked tired and maybe a little unhappy.
Yes!
Lan Zhan just looked at him instead of answering. He then looked at the empty noodle container in front of him. "What's wrong?"
"Is there going to be another date?" He asked, getting to his feet. Ooof, body language too confrontational he realized, softening his shoulders. Lan Zhan's eyebrows twitched in response. "Actually, I don't care if you did arrange something. Date me, instead."
"…!" Lan Zhan said to him, his whole face conveying surprise.
"I was so jealous I thought I hated all gay people for almost an hour!" he rushed to explain. "Me! And Jiang Cheng thought we were already together and clocked my jealousy right away. Do you know what its like to be less emotionally intelligent than Jiang Cheng?"
"Yes," Lan Zhan said in a rush.
"No, I promise he's way less emotionally intelligent than you are."
"…" Lan Zhan said again. He looked slightly more frustrated and less shocked this time. "Yes, I wish to date you. No, there wasn't a second date. She wasn't my type."
"Good!" He answered. Then his brain caught up. "She? The Elders couldn't even set you up with your preferred gender? That's awful."
"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan interrupted him, this time visibly frustrated. "Dating?"
"Hey! Yeah! Should we actually do the whole dating thing where we go out for coffee and take it slow, or do you want to make out for a bit and skip straight to the in a relationship part of it? Be gentle with me though, I did tell you about not realizing I was into guys and you specifically thing. And it was a night for me figuring that out."
"I have been aware of it for some time," Lan Zhan told him, reaching out and putting his hand on the curve of Wei Ying's waist. His eyes were intent on his face, probably judging Wei Ying's reaction and whether he'd pull away.
"You can go a little further than that," he huffed, amused. He suddenly wanted to see Lan Zhan's perfectly put together date outfit mussed by his own hands. The thought was like a jolt to his system. He'd known about the jealousy. The rest had been theoretical, but in theory Lan Zhan was very attractive and Wei Ying already loved him so it was probably fine.
If the way his blood was singing in anticipation it was more than fine.
Before Lan Zhan could answer Wei Ying's provocation, he reached out himself to grab the front of Lan Zhan's shirt and pull him in for a kiss.
It was like fireworks were going off in his chest, everything bright and bubbly. It felt good. It felt right. He had no problem with Lan Zhan making out with someone in their living room if that someone was him.
Lan Zhan pulled him closer, Wei Ying able to feel the heat of his body and all those hard muscles up against his. Mmm. He took a step backwards, careful to pull Lan Zhan with him so they kept kissing. His lips were buzzing, the nerve endings feeling every slick shift of their lips together.
It was so, so hot.
He fell backwards on to the couch in a sprawl, dragging Lan Zhan with him. They ended up with Lan Zhan over him, his knees pressing deep indents into the cushions on either side of Wei Ying's hip and his arm braced on the back of the sofa by his head.
They paused for a moment, so close they were still almost kissing, breathing each other in. Lan Zhan's eyes were focused on his, bright and deep and so intent.
Wei Ying couldn't help but laugh. He felt joyous with it, as he pulled Lan Zhan back in the last centimeter so they were kissing again.
x.x.x.
The next morning he finally checked the group chat with his siblings. His sister had finally read the messages and responded. Her answer was kinder than Jiang Cheng's but fell along the same lines.
Wei Ying couldn't help but snort as he scrolled up, seeing the image of his list. 12 hours later and it was hard to believe he'd been that foolish.
He left them on read.
"Let's go on a date later," he said to Lan Zhan, drinking his morning caffeine intake while watching Lan Zhan do stretches. He'd gotten a lingering kiss when he'd wandered into a kitchen earlier, before Lan Zhan got into his exercise routine. It had been nice. The back of his neck still felt flush from where Lan Zhan's hand had been.
His boyfriend was very, very hot. He felt a little smug about it. It was like winning the lottery on his first try, and yet nothing like that since he was starting to realize he'd already invested years of emotional connection into ending up in this moment.
"Mn," Lan Zhan agreed, easily bending his entire body into a handstand.
Wow.
"You're going to wreck me once we have sex, aren't you?"
"Yes," Lan Zhan told him in what was clearly a promise.
"Mm, great." They had, at some point last night, between making out and grinding just enough that they agreed to go finish in their own bedrooms for now, discussed the speed at which they were going to progress. Wei Ying felt he could probably be convinced to go faster and that maybe Lan Zhan was going to get him back for years of thinking he was straight and they were only living together instead of ✨living together✨ by making Wei Ying so thirsty for him he begged.
He contemplated that scenario for a bit while drinking his coffee. It was kind of sexy. Unfortunately, while Lan Zhan could be that petty towards strangers, he would never be that petty towards Wei Ying.
Unless he asked him to be…
He contemplated that. It sounded like fun. They had the rest of their lives unfolding in front of them, and it felt right. The relationship, not the denial??? kink???
He was learning so much about himself.
"Hey Lan Zhan…"