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It hadn’t been much of a fight.
More of a snap, really.
Robin and Nancy had been working together in the library. Or, at least, Nancy had been researching something and Robin had been there to ‘help.’
But she just kept talking and talking and after a while Nancy couldn’t stand it anymore.
It’s the same feeling she always gets when she spends too much time alone with Robin. Pressure in her chest. Burning, bubbling frustration just under her skin. Prickling along her fingertips.
She can’t focus.
She can’t think about anything else.
Just Robin.
Robin’s words.
Robin’s voice.
Robin’s hands flapping in the air.
The longer Robin talked, the more it built until Nancy finally just snapped. She told her to just leave. To go find Steve or someone else to pester. To just let her focus for once. And unlike last time, Robin didn’t recalibrate and come back to try and smooth out the tension.
No.
Instead…she left Nancy alone with her books and her silence.
And, somehow, the burning and bubbling in Nancy’s chest only got worse the longer it went on.
All she could focus on then was the flicker in Robin’s face when she’d snapped.
The slump in her shoulders when she left.
The silence.
Shooting monsters in the Upside Down was better than the silence that haunted her after.
Nancy didn’t get much research done at all that day.
And she hasn’t gotten anything all that productive done in the last three days either because she hasn’t seen much of Robin since.
She very suspiciously has not seen much of Robin since.
And the pressure has only gotten worse.
Sure, she saw her briefly at the video store on day one, but Robin disappeared into the breakroom as soon as Nancy got there. She didn’t come out the entire time Nancy spent making awkward smalltalk with Steve at the register before eventually giving up.
She saw her again from a distance when the group met at Steve’s house on day two. But Robin didn’t talk much, and she certainly didn’t get close to Nancy.
Nancy’s a little ashamed to admit how much of the night she spent staring at her from across the room, that pressure building and building and building.
When Steve caught her at one point, an odd expression came over his face. He stepped closer to her and lowered his voice. “She’s scared of…of losing people. You should talk to her.”
Nancy had crossed her arms and grimaced at him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Steve raised his eyebrows and shrugged. “Sure you don’t. Just…keep it in mind.”
He wandered away and Nancy kept staring.
Robin shot her a few hesitant looks, but never approached.
In the end, she slipped away without Nancy noticing, leaving her to sit with the uncomfortable weight in her chest.
She doesn’t see her at all on day three.
She caves on day four.
It’s unsustainable.
Unacceptable.
She might not know what it means, but she does know she simply cannot go another day with whatever this is between them so unbalanced.
They’re friends, right? That’s probably all it is. She doesn’t like it when she’s upset her friends.
She needs to fix it.
That’s all that matters.
But Robin hasn’t answered or returned her calls in the last two days, so Nancy has to get creative.
It’s a Wednesday and she knows Robin usually works the closing shift by herself, so she parks in the lot to confirm and then waits until the store empties.
The plan is simple. She waits for Robin to close up and go for her bike. She intercepts and asks to give her a ride instead. When she gets her in the car, she can apologize and they can talk whatever this is out.
They can fix it and Nancy will finally be able to think about something other than the way the corner of Robin’s mouth had creased.
But Robin doesn’t come outside.
Nancy sees her flip the sign. The lights dim. She waits, but Robin never emerges.
She makes it thirty more minutes before the pressure becomes too much. She’s out of the car and rushing into the store before she can talk herself out of it.
The door rattles and clangs as she yanks it open. She’s not sure what unsettles her more: the fact that it was unlocked or the eerie silence that greets her.
“Robin? You here?”
A gasp and a sniffle echoes from somewhere deeper in the store and Nancy’s stomach twists.
“Robin?” she calls again, voice a little higher.
“Uh, Nance?” Robin calls back. She sniffles again. Her voice is thick and watery.
“Yes, where are you?” Nancy moves deeper into the dim space, glancing down each aisle as she tries to find the other woman.
“Uhm, you can’t be in here! We’re closed! If you can just maybe wait outside I’ll be out in a few minutes. Okay?”
Nancy’s heart thuds a little harder and she follows the voice back and back until she gets to the far corner of the room. When she turns around the last aisle and finally finds her, a nearly audible crack resonates through her chest, leaving her hollow and aching.
Robin is sitting at the end of the row with her back pressed up against the wall. Her knees are tucked up into her chest with her elbows resting on top so she can cradle her head with her hands. She looks up at Nancy through the tops of her eyes, tears shining clearly on her face. “You can’t be in here. We’re closed.”
“Bullshit,” Nancy hisses. “I’m not leaving you like this.”
Robin closes her eyes and tips her forehead down onto her knees. “We’re not supposed to have people in here after hours. If someone finds out we get in trouble. Steve tried letting someone stay with him before a date a couple months ago and he nearly got fired.”
Nancy’s breath shudders the longer Robin talks and she approaches slowly. Even the cadence of her words is off. Too subdued. Too calm. The pressure bubbles and burns with each step, but the more she stares at Robin’s crumpled form and listens to her rambling words, the more she realizes it’s not annoyance that’s been filling her all this time. It’s not the care of a friend that’s been pulling her back, either. “I’m not leaving you like this,” Nancy says again, firmer.
Robin’s words die off and she keeps her head tucked down.
Nancy’s fingers prickle again, and this time she recognizes it for what it is: the urge to touch her.
This time she gives in.
She plops herself down next to Robin, not close enough for their shoulders to touch, but just barely. Robin’s only reaction is to curl in a little tighter, so Nancy tips over just enough to press them together and rests a hand on Robin’s closest shoulder.
Robin shudders, but whether it’s from the touch or a suppressed sob, Nancy’s not sure. “Y-you should really go. I’m fine. Just give me a minute and I’ll be out for whatever you need. Did you want a movie or something? I can grab it. Just let me know wh-”
“No, no, shhhhh I’m not here for a movie. I’m here for you.” Nancy shifts her hand down to the center of Robin’s back and rubs in soothing circles. “I’m here to see you.”
Robin shudders again and with Nancy’s hand pressed squarely over her lungs she knows without a doubt that this one is a sob. She sniffles. “O-ok. I’ll be out in a few minutes, then. Okay? Ju-jus-”
“I’m not leaving you like this.” Nancy’s hand rubs a little harder. Her shoulder presses a little tighter.
Robin crunches even more but she doesn’t protest again. For several minutes, the only sound is her occasional sniffle and the gasp of a swallowed sob.
Nancy keeps rubbing her back.
Eventually, when the time between sobs has doubled, Robin seems to regain her voice. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You really can go. I know this isn’t how you wanted to spend your night.”
Nancy shushes her again and rests her cheek on Robin’s head, feeling the tickle of her hair as Robin shakes her head slightly.
“I’m trying. I’m trying. Just give me a minute. I’ll be better. If you just wait outside, then-”
“No,” Nancy says. She reaches around Robin’s back to grab her far shoulder instead, and pulls Robin tighter into herself. “You’re fine. Don’t apologize. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Just let it out.”
Robin’s head shakes harder. “Y-you don’t have to. I c-can pull it together. I know you do-don’t li- I’m trying.”
Nancy keeps shushing her and rocks them side-to-side.
Robin finally stops asking her to leave, but the sniffles and sobs last a while longer.
Nancy holds her through it. She only stops the motion when Robin pulls in one big breath and lifts her head, tipping it back to rest against the wall. Nancy keeps her arm around her back, but pulls her head up to mimic Robin’s position instead.
The silence holds a while longer and the pressure in Nancy’s chest finally reaches a breaking point. “I’m sorry for yelling at you the other day.”
Robin shakes her head and it jostles both of them. “I was being annoying. Talking too much. Distracting you. B-being too much. I knew and I couldn’t get myself to stop. I can be better. I-I’ve be-”
“You have never been too much. I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” Nancy cuts her off again.
Robin quivers and drops her hands down to pick at the knees of her jeans. “No, I knew I was annoying you and I just kept going. I should have been able to stop. My mother always tells me I talk too much for my own good.”
“I really dislike your mother, did you know that?”
Robin’s body stiffens under Nancy’s arm. “W-what?”
Nancy sighs. “Every time you say something about her…it’s always something bad that she says about you. I hate that. There’s so much good about you. I just don’t get why anyone would say those kinds of things to you.”
Robin’s body stiffens even further. “Well, you know, I’ve put her through a lot. She’s had to deal with me for a very long time and there are things you don’t know an-”
“I don’t care what it is, nothing excuses that in my mind. There’s no reason to talk to someone that way, which is why I’m especially sorry for snapping at you. I really shouldn’t have done that.”
“W-what- Is that why you came in tonight? To a-apologize?”
“Yes, I was waiting outside for you. I’m really sorry about the other day and you’ve been avoiding me so…I was going to insist on driving you home.”
“I saw your car. I-I wasn’t sure…”
“Was that why you were crying?”
“I…I don’t know how to not be too much.”
Nancy tips her head to the side again, resting it against Robin’s. “You’re not. You’re not. I was in the wrong. I wasn’t really annoyed with you.”
Robin’s hands still. “Y-you weren’t?”
Nancy sighs. “No…I…feel things around you sometimes that scare me…frustrate me…but they’re not your fault and they’re not your problem. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
A distinct tremble picks up in Robin’s muscles and Nancy strokes her thumb along the ball of her shoulder in an attempt to calm her.
“N-Nance…before you say anything else, there’s something I think you should know a-about-”
Nancy squeezes her shoulder. “It’s ok. I know.”
Robin startles and finally pulls away, turning in place to face Nancy with her legs crossed in between them. Her face is pale and slack in a mix of shock and panic. “You know? You know what? Did Steve- What did Steve tell you?”
Nancy smiles and grabs her hands, squeezing her palms and running their fingers together. “Steve didn’t say anything. I just…I noticed.”
Robin’s jaw falls open a little more. “You noticed…what?”
Nancy meets her eyes, holding steady even while Robin’s flicker and jitter around her face. “That it’s not just Steve. That you don’t like boys at all. You’re gay, right?”
Robin’s mouth opens and closes, eyes still darting around Nancy’s face like it might hold the key to the universe. “...Would you be…ok with that? D-did I make you…uncomfortable? Is…is that what you meant earlier?”
Nancy keeps playing with her fingers. “I am definitely ok with that. You never made me uncomfortable. I thought I didn’t care about it at all…but now I’m realizing…maybe the feelings I’ve been feeling are more…feelings.”
Robin’s eyelids flutter in a series of rapid blinks. “F-feelings. For me?”
Her voice goes high at the end and Nancy can’t help but smile. She keeps playing with her fingers as her eyes flicker down to Robin’s mouth. “Yes…I was so frustrated because I couldn’t focus on anything else when you were around. Your voice. Your hands…Your lips. It all kept distracting me and I didn’t understand why. I thought it was annoyance but it’s actually…”
“Feelings,” Robin finishes for her.
Nancy shrugs, very suddenly aware of how hard her heart is pounding right at the base of her throat. “Is…is that ok?”
A minute ago, Nancy wouldn’t have thought it possible for Robin to look more shocked, but she would have been wrong. Robin’s mouth hangs open a little further and she blinks hard at Nancy as the words seem to trickle through her mind one at a time.
“Seriously?” Robin whispers.
Nancy shrugs again, heart still pounding.
“Obviously,” Robin gasps. “Holy shit, seriously?”
Nancy’s chest flutters and a bubble of laughter breaks into the air between them. “Seriously.”
Robin exhales slowly. “Wow, ok. If I were to have…feelings…too. What, uh, what do you want to do about that?”
The smile widens on Nancy’s face until her cheeks hurt and she drops her eyes down to their hands, watching for a second as her fingers twirl around one of Robin’s rings. Her chest keeps fluttering, a strange combo of exhilaration and nerves suddenly flooding her. “We, uh, we could maybe take a drive and talk?”
Robin’s fingers curl tighter around Nancy’s, pulling their hands a little deeper into her lap. “I’d really like that.”
Nancy glances up and smiles at her.
Robin smiles back.