Chapter Text
From : <[email protected]>
To : <[email protected]>
Subject : Exterminator coming to The Archives
Hello Jon,
as you know, there are still quite a few worms left over from Prentiss' attack. So, I have taken the liberty of hiring an exterminator to clear out all the worms in The Archives. He'll be arriving at around lunch time, giving you and your team time to exit The Archives for lunch before coming back to a clean Archive. If you have any questions on the matter, do let me know.
Kind Regards,
Elias Bouchard
Head of The Magnus Institute
Jon types out a quick response before pushing away from his desk, causing the floorboard below to creak uncomfortably. His eyes wander his own office, following a trail of discarded statements before settling upon the clock. It's 11:01, an hour before lunch and an hour before the exterminator arrives. Jon sighs, closing his eyes and doing the least Jon thing he could do, take a break. Next week he'll have a rehearsal with the band for an upcoming tour. He knows he should lay off staying late in preparation for it but the workaholic in him wins the fight. He'll also have to figure out an excuse for why he can't come to work for a week. Telling Elias he's going to go be a travelling space pirate would be the farthest thing from ideal.
As Jon sighs again, he hears a knock on his door. "Come in." he says flatly, in comes Martin, carrying a cup of tea that is slightly too full. He steps around the statements on the floor before arriving at Jon's desk and placing the cup on the only empty spot on the table. Jon moved closer to his table and took the cup by the handle. "Thank you, Martin," he smiled at Martin before turning away back to his laptop, completely failing to notice the blush creep up onto on Martin's cheeks. "O-oh uh, yes! Uhm. If you need.. or uh. No.. If you want uh.. more tea.. you can just....let me.....know...." he trailed off before suddenly piping up again. "Oh! Uh. I just remembered. Tim- Tim wanted me to uh.. ask you if you had- if you had.. Discord..?"
"What?"
archival ASSistants
11:05
TeaBoy : ajshjagdhjsagdhjahjsdajj
BiBoy : u good marto?
TeaBoy : hhhhhhh ye
TeaBoy : ashdghag jon smiled at me ajshdhjsad
HotBoy : 👀👀👀
CoolGal : 👀👀👀
TeaBoy : STOPASIASHjash
TeaBoy : also
TeaBoy : i got jons discord (surprised he even had one)
TeaBoy : urhumblecapt
HotBoy : what is hea pirare??
CoolGal : pirare
TeaBoy : pirare
HotBoy : oh so u all hate me. i see how it is.
CoolGal : yes we do
CoolGal : anyway im gonna make a new group for us and jon
teaeveryday and stokingtheflamez reacted with "👍"
saucysasha created "the archival squad"
saucysasha added teaeveryday, stokingtheflamez, and urhumblecapt
11:06
saucysasha : there we go
saucysasha : wait.
saucysasha changed their nickname to sasha
saucysasha changed teaeveryday's nickname to martin
saucysasha changed stokingtheflamez's nickname to tim
saucysasha changed urhumblecapt's nickname to jon
sasha : there
tim : boringgg 🍅🍅🍅
martin : tim !!! dont tomato sasha :((
jon : No tomato'ing anyone, actually.
jon : Anyway, even though this isn't really a "professional" work chat, I still expect you all to behave.
tim : booo idont wannaa 🍅🍅🍅
jon : Do not tomato me.
tim : whastverrr
tim : do u guys wanna go have luynch togethr
sasha : sure
martin : yeah!
tim : jonnn do u wanna goo
jon : I have work to do.
tim : you always have work to do !!!
sasha : pleaasee jonn
sasha : we'll work extra hard once we get back
jon : Hm.
jon : I'll go once Tim can spell "lunch" correctly.
tim : lunch
tim : there i did it now come with us
tim : waut hang on
tim : whio are uou and what did you do with jon
jon : :/
tim : dont ever use emoticons thats cursed
martin : so uh
martin : where r we eating..
jon : You lot can figure that out later, first, get back to work.
tim : yes boss 😔
sasha : yes boss 😔
martin : yes boss 😔
Jon sighed, pocketing his phone. What the hell did he agree to? How was he gonna get enough work done before the next concert? Jon instead chose to further engross himself in his work to distract from the fact that deep deep down, he was actually kind of excited to go out with his employees. Pushing the feeling deeper down, he swept away some statements on his desk to clear some space.
Somehow, an hour has passed already. He'd only managed to sort 20 statements. As Jon shoved a couple more statements into the "Discredited" section in his office, he heard a knock on his door before it opened halfway.
"Hey Jon!" It was Sasha, behind her he could see Tim and Martin. Tim pushed past Sasha to talk, "You're not gonna skip out on lunch right? You promised."
Jon scoffed but a smile tugged at his lips, "I didn't promise anything but no, I won't be skipping out."
Tim whooped and began skipping over to the bullpen to gather some of his things, shortly followed by Sasha and Martin. Jon couldn't help but feel a growing warmth in his heart. Maybe softening up wasn't that bad.
The gang had stopped in front of a small diner. Tim was the one who found the spot, well, found is an understatement. They'd nearly gotten lost because Tim swore he knew his way around London.
Despite the gloomy day, the diner was a welcome source of warmth as they all stepped in and sat at a nearby booth. Tim and Sasha sat on one side and much to both the disdain and delight of Martin, him and Jon on the other side. Eventually, after a couple minutes of semi awkward chatter, their food arrived. They talked for a bit, they being everyone but Jon until a certain topic came up.
"So," Tim said, food still in his mouth, "have you any of you heard of The Mechanisms?" Jon nearly choked on his sandwich. "What's that?" Martin said, making sure to swallow his food before speaking.
"It's this indie band I just discovered. Their concept is like they're a crew of immortal storytelling space pirates, and they sing about violence and stuff."
Sasha put her utensils down and looked up from her plate, "Okay I'm sorry Tim, but what?"
"It's so good I swear! Personally, my favorite member is Gunpowder Tim, cause you know, Tim Twins."
Jon had to use the willpower of a thousand suns not to react. It got harder as Tim began talking about the other members. "...and lastly there's the main singer Jonny D'Ville, he's-"
Jon cleared his throat, "That sounds like a very interesting band but our lunch break is almost over so we should get back right about," he glances at his watch "now."
"I was almost done!"
"Tim. We are going to be late."
"Urgh fine.."
As they walked towards the institute Jon's phone buzzed and he risks taking a look at it.
Xsplosion
11:48
Xsplosion : jon
Xsplosion : jon
Xsplosion : jonny
Xsplosion : jonny
Xsplosion : first mate
Xsplosion : dville
THEcaptain : omfg what
Xsplosion : youll never guess where i am
Xsplosion : [image : It's a selfie. Jordan is on the right of the photo and he's wearing his exterminator uniform. His free hand is making a peace sign and he has a big grin on his face. Behind him is a freshly cleaned Archive.]
THEcaptain : i'm actually gonna kill you
Xsplosion : good luck were immortal remember
THEcaptain : [gif : A transparent gif of word art that says "KYS <3", the text is made of fire and is actively burning.]