Chapter Text
Hawkins is nice at night.
Steve didn’t really think about that before, back when his biggest problem was the next party he was going to throw, or whether the basketball team would win the next game. The night blanketing over the town wasn’t something he concerned himself with back then, but years later, none of that mattered, other than the fact that he was alive to see it.
He hadn’t been able to get a good night’s sleep in… well, actually, he didn’t remember the last time he woke up feeling well-rested. Probably some time before Barbara Holland disappeared, but he couldn’t be sure. That’s why he was out there, driving around the town with the music playing quietly through the Beamer’s tape deck. It was one of the tapes Robin left in his car, from that weird band she loves. He didn’t like it because it was good—rather, because it reminded him of her and the tangents she liked to go off on whenever it played.
It was late enough for the streets to be empty. Hawkins is a small town, no one was really out at three in the morning, so Steve had the road all too himself. Out of habit, his gaze darted towards the dark forest surrounding him. There was no inter-dimensional threat to look out for anymore—El made sure of that when she crushed Vecna like a can of coke and closed the gates behind her—but on these sleepless nights, he needed to make sure.
He made a turn down Cornwallis, with no real destination in mind. The headlights illuminated the empty road, and for a moment, he looked up at the sparkling sky. He remembered Robin saying something about the constellations one time, when they stayed late at Family Video because some kids wouldn’t—
He caught something out of the corner of his eye, running straight for the road in front of him. He slammed on the breaks almost instinctively, and whatever idiot just ran in front of Steve’s car was spared, his hands raised as if he was bracing for impact.
Steve threw his hands up in frustration. “Jesus—what the hell, man?!” Then, he paused, staring at the man in front of him. He rolled the window down in disbelief.
“Munson?”
Relief eased away at some of the tension in Eddie’s shoulders, and he rushed around the car, pulling the passenger-side door open.
Steve stared in disbelief as Eddie scrambled into the Beamer. “Jesus, what are you—?”
“Drive,” Eddie said breathlessly, staring out the window.
“What? Why?”
“Just drive, Harrington, go!”
Steve did as he was told, adrenaline coursing through his veins as they shot down the dimly lit street. Eddie was still facing the window, looking out for whatever he was running from. A million possibilities ran through Steve’s mind as trees blurred in the windows to his left and right. Eddie saw a monster. He watched someone die again. Maybe Vecna himself came back to try and finish what he started—shit, I can’t do this again, not for the fifth goddamn time—
After about a minute, Eddie slumped back in his seat, relieved as he dragged a hand across his face. He winced, seeming to regret a sudden movement he’d just made and balling his hands up into fists. Steve slowed down, easing his grip on the steering wheel, and built up the courage to ask.
“What was that?” He breathed, glancing at Eddie. “What were you running from?”
“Jason’s posse,” Eddie answered, rolling his eyes. “Apparently the cover story wasn't convincing enough for them.”
Steve blinked, his mind going blank for a second. “Jason’s—” he scoffed out a laugh, incredulous as he pulled onto the side of the road, slowing the car to a stop and killing the engine. “Jason’s idiot friends were after you?”
Eddie shifted in his seat, seeming to catch onto Steve’s exasperation. “… yeah.”
Steve turned to face him, and finally, he got a good look at him. He was wearing sweatpants, an old ratty t-shirt with the white logo of a band peeling and fading off the front, and a black hoodie. His sneakers and the bottom of his pants were spattered with mud, and the collar of his t-shirt was damp with sweat. His hair was a mess, strands falling out of what was probably supposed to be a ponytail, and he was still catching his breath.
Steve furrowed his eyebrows. “What are you even doing out this late?”
Eddie crossed his arms, quirking an eyebrow. “I could ask you the same question.”
“I couldn't sleep,” Steve answered immediately. “Now answer me, Munson, what are you doing out here, nearly getting yourself run over?”
Eddie sighed. “Sorry, I didn’t see you—”
“Jesus, you’re lucky it was me and not some other asshole.”
“I know, you’re right,” Eddie conceded, looking down at his rings. “I just… I couldn’t sleep either.”
Steve took pause at that. He felt a strange sense of familiarity, looking at Eddie like this. He wouldn’t meet Steve’s gaze, curling in on himself as he held something back.
“Are you having nightmares?” Steve asked carefully.
Eddie gave him a wide-eyed look, like he’d been caught. “I… it’s not a big deal, I just—I can’t sleep in there. Trust me, I’ve tried, but the last time I got a full eight hours was in the hospital bed.”
Silence lingered for a moment, then Steve nodded in understanding, turning back to face the road ahead. “So, that’s why you were out here.”
Eddie went quiet for a few seconds, shifting in his seat. “It doesn’t feel the same anymore,” he admitted.
When Steve glanced at him, he was messing with one of his rings, twisting it around his finger. “Since all that shit went down, it’s just… it changed.” Eddie paused, glancing at Steve briefly before looking down at his hands again. “That probably makes no fucking sense—”
“No, I get it,” Steve assured him, memories flashing in his mind of the weeks—no, months—after he survived his first encounter with a demogorgon. He remembered the sleepless nights, the uncertainty of what had happened to Barbara Holland clinging to the back of his mind even if he tried to pretend it didn’t bother him, trying desperately to move on and getting dragged back into the fray anyway.
“I’m sorry, man,” Eddie sounded defeated when he spoke again. “I know it was stupid. I shouldn’t have even left the trailer park in the first place.”
Another moment of silence hung between them, before Steve twisted the key in the ignition again. The engine roared to life, and he glanced at his rearview mirror. No sign of monsters, or hateful high schoolers.
“Call me next time,” Steve ordered, and Eddie gave him a look of mild shock. “You’re supposed to be taking it easy, Munson. You’re gonna fuck up your stitches or something if you keep running from these stupid jerks.”
Eddie grinned, shaking his head, “I don’t think you’d want me calling you every night, Steve.” He turned to look out the window as the BMW rolled back onto the road. “Where were you going, anyway?”
Steve shrugged. “Nowhere, I was just driving around. My house was too quiet.” He glanced at Eddie, giving him a questioning look. “Want me to take you home?”
The smile on Eddie’s face immediately dropped. “Um… yeah, it—I guess it’s pretty late, so—”
“Hey, I don’t have to take you back,” Steve assured him. It felt a little bold to say something like this, but after the things they’d been through together, he was feeling oddly determined. “I can’t drive you around all night because gas is pricey,” Eddie chuckled lightly at that, and Steve felt a small swell of pride, “but… we could go back to mine, if you want. You could stay over.”
Eddie gasped dramatically. “The Harrington house? I’m being invited into the king’s palace?”
Steve laughed lightly, “or I could just drop you off at Dustin’s and let him lecture you—”
“Jesus, no,” Eddie laughed, “take us to the castle please, your highness.”
Steve wasn’t usually fond of being referred to as the king anymore, but there was no malice in Eddie’s words. His smile was genuine, and relief seemed to wash over him as they turned back towards Steve’s neighbourhood.
It didn’t take them long to get there, but the ride was comfortably silent, Eddie watching the window on his side while Steve snuck glances at the moon above them. When Steve parked in his driveway, Eddie looked a little wary, rushing towards his porch as if he was waiting for Jason’s lackeys to jump out at him from the dark, but the moment they walked into the house, the tension in his shoulders eased away.
Neither of them were tired enough to call it a night, so Steve insisted that Eddie sit down while he picked something out from his pile of Family Video tapes—none of which were overdue, by the way. Mild embarrassment creeped up on him when he realized that his selection was… weird, to say the least, since Dustin insisted he watch a bunch more nerd movies because ‘we can’t just quote Star Wars forever, Steve, you have to keep up!’
Lucky for him, Eddie was just as much of a nerd as the rest of the kids, and his eyes lit up the moment Steve waved The Dark Crystal in the air.
Eddie was hooked. His eyes were glued to the screen, and occasionally, he’d throw out some fact about the movie that Steve didn’t quite understand, too busy studying Eddie’s smile and the glint in his eyes.
Steve hadn’t gotten to see much of this version of Eddie before. He caught glimpses; back when they were wandering in the Upside Down together, or in the times between fighting for their lives, when he was running around in the field with Dustin. It was nice seeing that side of him, now that they had no more monsters to fend off.
“Jesus, it’s hot in here,” Eddie murmured, practically tearing his hoodie off and letting it fall onto the couch’s armrest. Steve watched as the fabric slid off, and he already knew they were there, but… he hadn’t really seen them. Not from this close, and not since they’d healed.
There were scars travelling down Eddie’s arms. Raised flesh marking the parts of his body that the demobats tore off in their attempt to kill him. They were more scattered than Steve expected, the shapes of the bites melting into the rest of his skin, but still leaving their mark. Some of them caught on his tattooed skin, pulling and warping the ink, or erasing it entirely. The most obvious were the bats on his arm, half of a wing fading away while another bat was almost entirely erased—the only evidence left of it was the top of its pointy ears.
Steve’s gaze trailed upwards, past more of those scattered scars, before settling on Eddie’s neck. The bats left their mark there too. He stared, for a few seconds, his mind starting to race before he tore his eyes away, trying to focus his attention on the movie that had Eddie so enthralled. Still, Steve’s thoughts trailed back to that particular scar.
He remembered the moment he got back to the Upside Down’s trailer park with Robin and Nancy in tow. They were exhausted, wounded, but they’d done it. Steve had watched Nancy kill him, rushing downstairs after Vecna had flown out the window and practically spearing him through the heart with a pipe that had come loose in his last attempt at fighting back.
Even then, the asshole had the strength and audacity to get back up and somehow make it through the gate, but El made sure she finished the job.
The Upside Down was collapsing in on itself, and they rushed back to the gate in hopes that they’d all climb out together, finally sealing the hell dimension away for good.
Then they got to the trailer park.
They stepped over the unmoving demobats—it seemed like they’d gone dormant the second their leader was gone—and amidst the scattered monsters’ bodies, Dustin was on the ground, pleading for help as he held Eddie tight in his arms. Steve remembered running, dropping onto his knees as he took in what exactly had happened to Eddie, who for some reason was still smiling and trying to crack jokes after getting practically mauled. Steve scrambled, ignoring the shaking of the earth and ordering that someone get him whatever they could to stop the bleeding. He might’ve wrapped a piece of Nancy’s jacket around Eddie’s neck, and then Robin handed him a couple other pieces of cloth for the wounds on his arms, and his legs, and his abdomen, all while he yelled for Dustin to get back in the trailer and get the hell out.
Somehow, they got Eddie on Steve’s back, but by that point, he was starting to fade. His eyes were fluttering closed, and he was growing quiet, even as the ground beneath their feet started to split in two. Nancy insisted that Dustin go first, then Steve with Eddie, then Robin, and she barely made it out herself before the gate stitched itself shut behind her.
It didn’t feel like a victory. Not when they ran out of the trailer and laid Eddie’s body across Nancy and Robin’s laps in the backseat, the girls trying to keep him alive while Steve drove faster than he ever had in his life. He remembered rushing into the hospital when Eddie had gone silent, begging for anyone to please, fucking help him. He watched them wheel him away, holding Dustin as he sobbed into his shoulder while Robin and Nancy watched in fearful silence. He remembered sitting in the waiting room while Nancy practically waged war on the police officers that wanted to arrest Eddie if he survived the surgery. He remembered Dustin becoming too still, folding in on himself as he stared at the white tiles of the hospital floor, all while Robin took Steve’s hand and squeezed it tight, leaning against his side and anxiously tapping her foot while they waited for—
Steve tensed up when he felt something on his shoulder, dragged back into reality as the movie played softly through his T.V. He turned to his right, feeling soft curls against his cheek as he realized that Eddie was leaning on his shoulder. Steve relaxed, letting out a breath as a smile pulled at the corners of his lips.
“Eddie?” He whispered. He received no response, instead realizing that Eddie’s breaths had evened out, and he was fast asleep. Steve reached for the remote, careful not to move too much as he switched off the T.V. and relaxed back into the cushions.
He didn’t want to wake Eddie up. The guy barely got enough sleep as-is, he wasn’t gonna be the jerk that messed this up, so instead he settled into the silence, looking up at the ceiling and letting his mind wander.
It was oddly comforting, listening to his soft and even breaths, and Steve had to wonder how the hell anyone could believe this guy was at fault for what had happened in Hawkins. He understood it, to an extent—the anger, fuelled by the desperate need to find someone to blame for the losses they had all suffered—but why him? Sure, Steve’s opinion of him wasn’t great at first either, but all he had to do was talk to the guy to realize that he wasn’t the ruthless murderer that this godforsaken town made him out to be—
Eddie shifted, his hair brushing against Steve’s cheek, and he realized that he’d tensed up for a moment. He relaxed again, let himself sink into the cushions, and his mind went blank for a few seconds.
Then, he remembered when Eddie woke up.
After almost a week of uncertainty—of watching Wayne Munson and Dustin refuse to leave his side—Eddie opened his eyes, and he smiled. He made some stupid joke, called Steve his ‘knight in shining armour’ and apologized to his uncle about a dozen times.
He let Dustin hug him even though his wounds still stung a little, and he let the kid yell at him too, insisting to Steve that he probably deserved it. He got along well with the girls, thanking Nancy profusely for getting the police to back off, and later, for getting the Hawkins High to agree that Eddie could finish the rest of his year at home—though she had Robin, Joyce, and Hopper to back her up on that one. He got along with Robin very well too, cracking jokes and teasing each other in a way that Steve was definitely not feeling any jealousy over.
He let Steve linger too. Didn’t mind that he often stood behind the group, watching, standing guard. Sometimes, they caught each-other’s gazes, flashing smiles or making faces at whatever bullshit the kids had just said. When everyone else filtered out, Steve would finally step forward, his eyes trailing over the bandages hiding the scars that the demobats left behind. It made Steve feel a little better about his own—the raised flesh around his neck, the deeper bites on his arms and legs that wouldn't quite go away—it made him feel a little less alone, which was probably a little fucked up.
He’d take a seat at Eddie’s bedside, catching his gaze, and he’d ask how he was really feeling. Eddie didn’t start being fully honest with him until a couple of weeks later, when he was discharged from the hospital with plans of finishing his last year of high school from home. He was scared of the shadows that moved in the corner of his eyes, and he still felt the uncomfortable sting of his healing wounds.
Steve’s eyelids fluttered shut, and he let himself drift away into the darkness, comforted by the warmth of Eddie leaning against him.
— ✧ ✦ ✧ —
Steve was at skull rock. He was walking up to the boulder, leaves and branches crunching beneath his feet, and he was alone. A soft breeze grazed his skin, and he stopped to look up at the stone, its sharp edges worn down with time into the smoother, skull-like shape that it was known for. The sun was out, slipping past the foliage above and enveloping him in a comforting warmth. It felt different—like it hadn’t been tainted by the curse that Hawkins carried for years.
“Hey.”
Steve looked back down, watching as Eddie walked out from behind the rock with a grin on his face. “What are you doing here, Harrington?” Eddie asked, his voice soft and low. He’ was wearing his ripped black jeans, chains dangling off his belt, and a red t-shirt that Steve must’ve seen him in a few days before. Dry leaves cracked beneath his sneakers as he slowly wandered closer, his hands behind his back as he kept his gaze focused on Steve.
Steve shrugged, already smiling. “Oh, you know, just… meeting someone here.”
“Oh yeah?” Eddie stopped in front of Steve, tilting his head to the right. “Is she pretty?”
Steve reached out, setting his hand on Eddie’s shoulder for a moment before he dragged it down his bare arm, feeling the smooth skin and scattered demobat scars. Eddie let him, moving his arm forward so Steve could take hold of his hand.
“He is,” Steve answered, looking down at at their hands as he felt the cold metal of Eddie’s rings pressing against his palm.
Eddie chuckled. “You’re a charmer,” he mused, his voice growing quieter. Steve’s gaze trailed back up, and they were standing only inches away. Eddie’s eyes flicked down, and Steve took that as his cue, closing the distance between them and—
Something was ringing. It startled him a little, his vision still blurry as he opened his eyes, but he quickly realized that he was still in his living room, laying on the couch as sunlight spilled through the gaps between the curtains. Already, whatever dream he had was fading away, but he couldn’t really find it in himself to care much, he was just thankful that no monsters had crawled out of the walls as he slept.
He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment as the phone rang again. Then, he realized there was a weight on him. A pressure on his chest and legs. He furrowed his eyebrows as he opened his eyes again, and when he looked down, he was met with a head of curly hair resting against his side.
Eddie was on top of him. They were laying on the couch, and Eddie was practically draped over him.
He froze. Jesus, what was he supposed to do in this situation? He still didn’t want to wake him, but this felt so… loaded. Something was lingering, hanging over him as he scrambled to decide what he was going to do. The phone was still ringing, somehow getting louder after every pause, and Steve groaned in mild frustration.
“Eddie,” he said, his voice a little raspy. There was no response. He put a hand on his shoulder, shaking it lightly. “Hey, Eddie?”
Eddie groaned, and the sound came out a bit muffled—his face was practically buried in Steve’s shirt.
“I gotta answer the phone,” Steve said softly.
Eddie groaned in answer again.
“Could you just—” Steve tried to move, sliding out from under him, and Eddie, though peeved, shifted to let him do so. The moment Steve was free, falling backwards onto the living room floor, Eddie buried his face in the couch cushions, huffing tiredly.
Steve almost laughed incredulously, but he held it in as he shot up onto his feet, rushing towards the hallway to answer the phone just to make the ringing stop.He pulled it off the hook, leaning back onto the wall as he pressed it against his ear.
“Hello?” He was barely able to keep the annoyance out of his tone, but he managed.
“Steve?” The voice coming through on the other end was familiar, and any exasperation immediately drained from Steve’s body.
“Hi, yeah, uh—Mr. Munson?”
The older man sighed. “Yeah, son, it’s me. I’m sorry, it’s just that I went to check on Eddie earlier and he’s not in bed, and I-I’ve been calling his friends, and none of them know where he is—”
Already, Steve was mentally kicking himself. “Sir, I—He’s with me.” That stopped Wayne’s worried rambling in its tracks, so Steve tried to fill the silence with an explanation. “I’m so sorry, he uh—I told him he could come over, and we both fell asleep, but he’s safe.”
After another pause that seemed to stretch for eternity, Wayne let out a sigh of relief. Steve, though, couldn’t stop thinking about how much they must’ve scared him.
“We should’ve let you know, sir, I just—we lost track of time, and we didn’t think this would happen—”
“Is that Wayne?”
Steve nearly jumped out of his skin, realizing that Eddie was standing in the doorway, his eyes wide even as he was fighting off sleep. His hair was a little messy, sticking out at odd angles, and he was scratching absently at one of the healed scars on the side of his face.
Suddenly, Steve’s memory of his dream rushed in, flooding his mind until it was all he could think about, and his heart started to race as his eyes locked onto Eddie’s.
Why the hell would he dream that?
Steve nodded, blinking dumbly for a few seconds before he realized what he was doing—or rather, not doing—and held the phone out to Eddie. “You should, um…”
Eddie didn’t say anything, but he took the phone from Steve, taking his place while Steve stepped away to give them some privacy and rushed back towards the living room.
Steve dropped onto the couch again, staring blankly as his mind continued to race. That image of Eddie played in his mind, over and over again, and it was only making him more nervous with every passing second, anxiety coiling around his heart as he let out a shaky breath. He could hear Eddie talking to Wayne in the hall, apologizing quietly, and he didn’t want to eavesdrop, but he kept focusing on the sound of Eddie’s voice without meaning to.
What the hell, Harrington?
It was probably just a weird dream. People have those all the time, right? It didn’t have to mean anything. Back when they were still friends, Tommy told him about that nightmare he had after they watched The Shining—except the creepy twins looked like Carol, and they chased him around the hotel for what felt like hours—and that didn’t mean anything. It was just a stupid dream that they laughed about, while Carol only started finding it amusing when she realized she could tease him about it.
This was no different. It was just some dumb what if that his stupid, frequently concussed and sleep-deprived brain came up with to pass the time while he had the best sleep he’d had in a while.
“Steve?”
He snapped his head towards the doorway, feeling caught, but Eddie had an apologetic look on his face, thankfully oblivious to the absolutely insane thoughts Steve was trying to work out.
“I’m, uh—I’m sorry for falling asleep, man, I don’t know what happened.” Eddie started messing with his rings as he talked, twisting one around his finger. “Thanks. For yesterday. I should head home, though.”
“I can take you home,” Steve blurted out.
Eddie shook his head. “Steve, you don’t have to—”
“I want to,” Steve insisted, pushing himself off the couch and bracing his hands on his hips. Already, he was mentally scolding himself, but he wasn’t sure exactly why. “You just got out of the hospital, Munson, you think I’m gonna let you walk home?”
Eddie sighed. “It’s already been a week—”
“Barely a week,” Steve corrected him, “come on, man, I’m not budging on this. Plus, I have to go apologize to your uncle for scaring the shit out of him, so...” He nodded in the direction of the door, “Let’s go.”
Eddie pursed his lips, looking off to the side as he seemed to consider Steve’s words.
“Okay,” he agreed simply, and he walked with Steve to the front door.
The ride back to the trailer park was more fun than Steve expected it to be. Eddie seemed to have recovered from his initial worries, cracking jokes and poking fun at Steve because he drove ‘too responsibly,’ whatever that meant.
But he got quiet again when they rolled up to the trailer park. His happy expression fell, replaced with guilt as they spotted Wayne standing by the porch and smoking.
Steve parked in front of the Munson trailer, new and improved after the government people came by and agreed to fix their mess. It looked pretty similar to their old one, but now there were two bedrooms instead of one.
Eddie took a deep breath, and he reached for the door handle.
“Hey—” Steve stopped him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Eddie paused, giving him a quizzical look.
“Call me next time,” he offered sincerely. “I… know what it’s like,” Steve admitted, and Eddie waited silently for him to continue. “and I don’t get much sleep anyway, so… don’t risk a beating from Jason’s friends, alright? I’ll pick you up, and you can come by whenever you want.”
For a moment, Steve thought that Eddie was gonna crack a joke. It’s what he always did, easing the tension—of which there was a lot, lingering between them—with a couple of light-hearted quips.
He didn’t though. He kept his gaze locked onto Steve’s, as if he was searching for something in his eyes for a few seconds, before he nodded.
“Okay,” he agreed. “Thanks, I will.”
With nothing left to say, Steve let him go, watching as Eddie got out of the car and walked up the porch before stepping out of the BMW himself.
— ✧ ✦ ✧ —
“Hello?" Earth to Steve, are you even listening?”
Steve blinked, realizing that he’d been staring at the same name on the computer for a little too long. He cleared his throat as he looked up at Robin, noticing her quizzical stare as she leaned back against the front counter.
“Yeah, sorry, just—this thing is…” he motioned towards the computer vaguely. “Stupid.”
Robin, unconvinced, crossed her arms. “What was I talking about then?”
Steve scoffed. “You were saying the… the um… the thing with Vickie, in band.”
Robin narrowed her eyes knowingly. “Wrong,” she said, tilting her head to the right. “You’re being weird. Why are you being weird? Did something happen with that girl?”
Steve, for a second, forgot who she was even referencing. “What? No, I haven’t talked to her in a while, and I’m not being weird.”
“Yes you are!” Shit. Robin liked to claim she was bad at reading people—blind to social cues, which most of the time was true—but whenever she was with him, Steve swore she could pick up on every little movement, word, or gesture that was even slightly off. “Come on, spit it out. You’ve been quiet since our shift started and it’s freaking me out a little.”
Steve sighed, running a hand through his hair as he tried to find the words. How could he even explain this? If anyone would understand, it was Robin, but—he wasn’t sure he even wanted her to understand it.
“I… I just—I had a weird dream last night,” he confessed. He was stuttering—god, why the hell was he stuttering?
Robin quirked an eyebrow, confused. “A… weird dream?”
“Yes.”
“What, like a wet dream?”
Steve was so glad the store was empty. “Jesus, no, it—it wasn’t like that.”
Robin paused for a second, her eyes narrowing as she continued to stare Steve down. “Uh-huh… so, I’m even more confused now—”
“Well—okay, I’ll explain it, but you cannot tell anyone, Robin, I mean it!”
Robin scoffed. “Who would I even tell? The only people I’m friends with are children, your ex-girlfriend, and your ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend, I don’t even—” She stopped for a moment, realization seeming to dawn on her as her eyes widened. “Oh my god.”
Steve furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”
“I’m just like you now.”
Steve rolled his eyes. “Oh my god.”
“Besides Nancy and Jonathan,” Robin continued, “the only normal, age-appropriate friend I have is Eddie goddamn Munson—”
Panic surged through Steve at the mention of his name. “You especially can’t tell Eddie.”
That seemed to do the trick, and Robin stopped her rambling before it could even really start, staring at Steve in silence instead. “Not that I would, but… why not?”
There was a nagging feeling in the back of Steve’s mind—that he was going to regret saying this out loud—but he knew Robin wouldn’t tell anyone.
“I’m going to explain it all to you,” Steve started, his hands held up as if in surrender, “but I’m gonna need you to hold off on making any comments until I’m done, deal?”
Robin was still searching for an underlying explanation, her gaze flicking between his eyes as she tried to read him, but finally, she nodded. “Deal.”
So he explained. He told her about his late night drive. How he nearly ran Eddie over, and then later brought him back to his house. He told her that he was worried—he obviously couldn’t just leave him out there, especially in that state and when half the town still wanted him dead.
Then he told her about the movie. About Eddie falling asleep on his shoulder, and him not minding it at all. When he got to his dream, his voice grew quieter, just in case, and Robin’s eyes widened. She was trying really hard to keep a straight face—Steve could tell—but she had never been great at that. Still, she stayed quiet, pursing her lips as he told her about Wayne’s call, their drive back to the trailer park, and their sheepish apology to Wayne for scaring the absolute shit out of him.
“It isn’t like…” Steve gestured helplessly, struggling to find the right words. “I don’t have anything against gay people, you know that—”
“Yeah, I know—” Robin stopped herself, covering her mouth with her hands. “Wait, am I allowed to talk now?” She asked, her voice slightly muffled.
Steve nodded. “Yeah, you’re allowed. It’s just that… I don’t know. Everyone has weird dreams like this, right?”
Robin snorted out a laugh. “Dreams where they kiss their friends?”
“Yeah.”
“Friends that they have totally platonic feelings for?”
Suddenly, Steve was feeling like he was being put on the spot. “Well—yeah.”
Robin let silence linger between them for a second, her eyebrows furrowed as if she was considering something. “Steve, have you dreamed about kissing me?”
The question was so shocking to him that he had to take a few seconds to process it. “Oh my god, what’s wrong with you—?”
“Have you?”
“Obviously not!”
“Not even when you had a crush on me?”
“Jesus, no!”
“What other friends have you dreamt about then?!”
Steve sputtered for a second, wracking through his memory for the other dreams he knew he had. “Nancy, I guess?”
Robin gave him an incredulous look. “Your ex-girlfriend? I thought you were over her.”
“I am, that happened before we started dating.”
Robin looked like she was about to explode, but whatever she was about to say, she held it in, taking a deep breath. “Is that the only one?”
“No, it…” He couldn’t recall any other time this had happened. He took a moment to wrack his brain, and he knew he was forgetful—that had only gotten worse with every hit he’d taken to the head in the past four years—but he wouldn’t forget something like that.
“That’s the only one,” Robin concluded.
Steve sighed. “Yeah, it is.”
It felt like an admission of guilt, but he wasn’t sure what he was guilty of. Silence lingered between them, the moment stretching on for what felt like eternity, before Robin spoke again.
“Why are you so worried about this? I mean—I’ve never dreamed about kissing my totally platonic friends, but maybe it just…” Robin shrugged. “Happens to everyone, like you said.”
“Because… It’s Eddie.” It sounded so stupid when he said it like that. “I just—I like Eddie. He’s not what I expected at all, and I really like being his friend, you know? I like hanging out with him, and I can’t stop worrying about him because he’s a dumbass who likes to put himself in danger, a-and that was all it was, but now—” He threw his hands up in frustration, realizing that he was angry at himself. “Now my brain put this stupid idea in my head, and it’s all I can think about!”
“And that’s a problem because…?”
Steve let out an exasperated huff. “Because he's not into guys!”
“And you?”
“I—” he froze. He felt like he’d been caught, backed into a corner that he didn't even realize he was walking into. Something shifted in Robin’s expression, and suddenly, he felt like they were back on the sticky floors of Starcourt Mall. “I’m not…” He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t even half-heartedly deny it, not when he was talking to Robin.
“Steve,” Robin started, her voice soft. It simultaneously made him feel safer and like he needed to bolt before she said anything else. “I don’t dream about kissing anyone I feel platonic about. Especially not about guys.”
Steve’s eyebrows furrowed, and his gaze remained focused on Robin, but he wasn’t looking at her. Not really. Thoughts were rushing through his mind. Memories, fuelling a fire that Robin had lit with those words. He remembered Eddie walking by his side in the Upside Down, leaning close as he joked around. When he hot-wired the car, jokingly calling Steve big boy and leaving him to drive them away and pretend it didn’t make his heart beat a little faster. He thought of the conversations they had at the hospital, when he finally woke up, and the warmth he felt when Eddie smiled at him brightly, like he hadn’t been through hell.
He let out a soft breath. “… oh.”
The puzzle pieces in his mind were falling into place. He hadn’t been able to figure out why he felt so different around Eddie from the moment they found him in Reefer Rick’s shed. His heart was beating even faster now, hammering in his ears as he recalled the dream version of Eddie, smiling as he closed the distance between them.
The bell above the door chimed, and the two of them flinched, Robin clearing her throat as she turned around and prepared to greet the customers. Steve felt a little relieved when Dustin and Lucas walked through he door, but Dustin gave him a shit-eating grin that immediately got on his nerves.
“Are we interrupting something?” Dustin asked, and Lucas rolled his eyes, giving them a quick hello before he walked off to the right side of the store.
“Don’t start, Henderson,” Steve warned. Robin didn’t seem as peeved about what was coming as he was though, seemingly remembering the stack of tapes she abandoned earlier.
“I know, I know, platonic with a capital P,” Dustin says, narrowing his eyes like he’d been let in on a secret. He followed after Lucas, ignoring Steve when he shook his head. “We’ll be quick, I promise!”
Steve knew their conversation couldn’t continue with their new audience, so he resigned himself to standing in front of the computer again, clicking aimlessly to pass the time.
He didn’t stop thinking about it though. He couldn’t, now that it was out in the open. So his mind drifted back to last night, and the night spent at the hospital, and all the moments he and Eddie shared that left him feeling different.
I’m into guys, he thought to himself.
He repeated it in his head a few more times, and each time it got easier to grasp. The admission re-framed a lot of the interactions he’d had with other guys before, and it… it made sense.
When Robin shot him a questioning look, he realized he was smiling to himself.
I’m into Eddie, he thought, and instead of that initial confusion, excitement rushed through his veins.
They didn’t really get the chance to talk after Dustin and Lucas left Family Video. Customers flooded in during the afternoon, and once it was late enough, they tried to get the store closed as quickly as they could.
After locking the doors, Steve rushed to his car and opened the passenger side door for Robin, letting her in before he threw the door closed and got onto the driver’s seat himself. Robin was messing with one of her bracelets when he pulled his door shut, and he went to put the key in the ignition, but he stopped.
Robin shot him a look of confusion. “What?” She asked. “Did you forget something?”
Steve leaned back in his seat, staring out at the empty road in front of the small parking lot. Even with the customers distracting them, he had time to think, swinging between excitement and panic at the idea of being into Eddie. There was one thing he realized though, as he replayed Robin’s words in his head.
“Did you know?” He asked, slightly accusing.
Robin’s expression didn’t change. “Know what?”
“That I’m into Eddie.”
Her eyes widened a little at that, and she leaned back into her seat as well. She was quiet for a couple of seconds. “What makes you think that?”
Steve tilted his head, giving her an unamused sidelong glance.
“Okay—I had my suspicions.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me?!”
Robin gave him an indignant look. “I thought maybe you knew, since you’re the dating expert or whatever, but clearly I was wrong.”
Steve groaned, leaning back and smacking his head against the headrest. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I could’ve been wrong, Steven. This isn’t the kind of thing you can just spring on someone. I was waiting for you to tell me yourself!”
“That’s—” Steve paused, reconsidering what he was about to say. “Okay, fine, that makes sense.”
Robin sighed dramatically in response. “Thank you.”
Silence lingered for a moment, then Steve asked,“how long did you know?”
Robin let that silence hang between them for a few seconds longer. “A while.”
Steve glared. “Since when?”
“… Since Eddie hot-wired that trailer.”
Steve threw his hands up. “Seriously?”
Robin scoffed. “What? Should I have asked you in front of everyone why Eddie calling you big boy gave you a boner?”
Steve’s mouth dropped open in shock. “I did not get a boner.”
“No, you didn’t, but—” Robin shook her head. “Whatever. The point is, I wasn’t going to spring all that on you when we had save the world on our to-do list, followed by try not to die while doing it. It’s already difficult enough to have a revelation like that when you’re not fighting inter-dimensional monsters.”
There was another pause in the conversation as Steve really took in her words. She was speaking from experience. If anyone knew about these things, it was her.
“You’re right,” he said, and he meant it. “You did the right thing waiting, I know that. I just… I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner.”
Robin shrugged. “Like I said, we were a little busy.” She grinned at him, and he immediately felt lighter, huffing out a quiet laugh.
Another moment of silence passed.
“Are you… gonna do anything about all of this?” Robin asked.
Steve realized he still hadn’t started the car. He put the key in the ignition, switching the engine on to give himself a moment to consider Robin’s question. He put both hands on the steering wheel, looking at the road ahead. “I don’t know.”
“Do you… want to?”
A memory of Eddie flashed through his mind. That moment when they were walking through the forest together, and he leaned in close. Steve couldn’t recall what they were even talking about, but he remembered the strange pull he felt when Eddie nudged his shoulder, and up close, Steve realized just how striking his brown eyes were. Steve had felt drawn to Eddie ever since, pulled in by something he couldn't quite describe as the guy destroyed all of Steve’s preconceptions.
“Yeah,” Steve finally answered, “I want to.”