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"All I'm saying is you're kind of obsessed with Buck," Hen said, taking a swig of her beer. Eddie frowned, affronted.
"I am not," he said, drumming his fingers against the table in an attempt to calm his racing heart. Whether it was because of the alcohol or this conversation was unclear. "Where is Buck anyway?"
Everyone at the table threw their hands in the air and collectively groaned. Eddie took offence at that.
"See?" Hen sighed. "I'm just saying that maybe you need to relax a little. He's not going anywhere and, if you're not going to do anything about being obsessed with him, then you need to retract the claws. It's not fair to him."
"Do something? What would I even do? I'm not obsessed with him!" Eddie spluttered. "You're blowing this whole thing way out of proportion."
"You shoved Blue."
"He shoved Buck!"
"According to Buck, you shoved him back way harder."
Eddie was losing his mind. "That's not… We're not keeping score!"
"I am," Chimney chimed in. "I vote that you should just do something."
"Do what?" Eddie shook his head, his grip on his beer bottle tightening.
"You could tell him you're in love with him for a start," Ravi muttered, yelping when Harry elbowed him.
Eddie's heart stopped. "What?"
"Ravi!" Harry hissed. "We were supposed to ease him into it."
No. No, Eddie wasn't in love with Buck. That was ridiculous. Eddie was straight, for God's sake. He was as straight as a ruler! He loved Shannon. He couldn't be gay. Sure, he'd check out a hot guy's ass every once in a while but that didn't make him gay. It couldn't, otherwise everyone would be gay.
"I'm not…" Eddie started. He couldn't even get the words out. That's how goddamn straight he was. "I'm not, okay? I should really go find him. He's been gone for a while."
He got up, taking his beer with him and ignoring the calls of "Eddie, we're sorry" that came after him from the 118.
It shouldn't have been hard to spot Buck in the bar. He was freakishly tall and lit up a room so it wasn't hard to find him amongst the crowds but Eddie couldn't see him. He headed out for the back of the bar — the place where the sketchy people hung out to drink so much that more than the occasional bar fight would break out.
Eddie didn't know why Buck would be back there but he hadn't seen him anywhere else.
Grimacing, he tapped on the shoulder of a man who was dancing in a very publicly indecent fashion and said, "I'm looking for my friend."
The man spun around, a glazed over look in his eyes. He smiled at Eddie, all sharp teeth.
"Aren't you handsome?" he said.
"Thanks," Eddie deadpanned. "Have you seen my friend? He's six foot something, blond-ish hair, birthmark above his eye. His name's Buck."
"Oh! I thought he'd been punched in the face but a birthmark makes way more sense," the man said, laughing. "Yeah. He's a good-looking guy. Saw him go outside with my friend, Johnny."
"Johnny?" Eddie repeated, scowling. He'd never met a nice Johnny. Besides, what would Buck be doing with a Johnny when Eddie and the 118 were right there?
"Yeah," the man said. "Figured they were heading off. Why? He's not yours, is he?"
Eddie's scowl might have become permanently etched into his face. "He's not anyone's and I'm not gay."
He turned around and walked for the exit without sparing the man another glance. Whoever Johnny was, Buck didn't belong to him. Buck was his own person and anyone would be lucky to spend time with him (he was handsome and funny and a great friend) but that didn't make him anyone's to have. If anyone would come close to that impossibility, it would be Eddie because he was his best friend of nine years.
It wasn't in a gay way or anything. It was just that Eddie knew him better than almost anyone. If Buck should be anyone's, he should be the person who knew him the best's, the person who treated him the best's. That was just common sense.
He found the backdoor and shoved it open, heading out into a cold alleyway. The sting of the temperature made him shudder and pull his sleeves down.
He spotted Buck a little way towards the street, talking to a man with a ratty goatee. Eddie's nose wrinkled. They didn't look like they were having a comfortable conversation. Goatee Man — probably Johnny — kept reaching for Buck's arm and Buck kept pulling away, frowning and saying something that Eddie couldn't quite make out.
Whatever was going on, all Eddie could think was that Johnny didn't get to touch Buck. He didn't get to be with him, to spend even a second with him, not when Eddie was right there. Not when Eddie had been right there for nine years by Buck's side, knowing him, caring for him, loving him.
Before he could even process that last thought,Johnny was reaching for Buck again and he was talking louder and louder and Eddie was marching forward and taking a swing.
Johnny was on the ground in an instant, shouting his head off as Eddie kept holding him down, pinning his arms to the dirt.
"What the fuck, man?" the guy yelled.
Eddie barely registered Buck's hands on his shoulders trying to pull him up and away.
"Don't fucking raise your voice at him," Eddie snapped, pressing harder on Johnny's arms. "We've been through too much shit this week and you do not want to piss me off."
"What the fuck?" Johnny repeated. "You're insane! I was barely talking to him!"
"Eddie," Buck said, his voice suddenly firmer than Eddie had heard it before. "Get off."
Reluctantly and with one last shove, Eddie did, standing up and breathing heavily.
Johnny scrambled to his feet, nearly tripping over in his haste to run away.
Fury still boiled in Eddie's gut. He vaguely registered Buck saying his name but didn't process it until Buck placed a hand on his shoulder, spinning him around so Eddie had to look at him.
"Eddie," Buck said, "what… what the hell was that?"
All the wind in Eddie's sails suddenly deflated. He spoke in a voice that sounded feeble even to his own ears, "I was just… I didn't like him talking to you like that, trying to grab you."
"I was handling it," Buck said, crossing his arms. "Besides, aren't you the one who was trying to keep the peace with Blue before he shoved me?"
"Yeah, well, I'm not a fan of the trend of people touching you lately."
Buck blinked. "What does that mean?"
Eddie was at a bit of a loss for words. As he stared at Buck, all he could think was that he wanted to keep Buck safe, wanted to keep him happy and cared for and with everything he could ever need.
So, it really wasn't his fault when he blurted out, "I think Hen was right that I'm in love with you."
Buck's eyes widened. "Hen said that?"
"Is that really what you're focusing on right now?" Eddie felt more vulnerable than he had in a long time. It was as though his beating heart had been ripped from his chest and laid bare before Buck.
"Eddie," Buck said, his voice unbelievably soft. "Are you sure?"
"Well, I keep beating up people for you so probably."
Buck laughed. "Yeah, maybe stop doing that."
"They're just all so punch-able!" Eddie defended himself.
Buck shook his head fondly, reaching out a dragging Eddie into a kiss.
Eddie wasn't sure how he'd ever thought he was straight and Hen had been right about one other thing: he was definitely obsessed with Buck.