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I could’ve recognized the swingset from miles away, its framework burned into my mind and my eyes dilating at the mere thought of it. My brain told me to stay away from it, but my heart soared at its sight. My body felt as though it moved on its own, motioning towards the swinging seats. As soon as I had reached it, something seemed off. A lump started to form in my throat, cutting off my airpipe. I started to cough aggressively, my eyes widening. My head turned towards the cursed seats. The mood, the weather, even the color of the swings was wrong. That’s when it hit me.
The seats were green, not black. Looking away from the playground, I saw that the lady walking her dog had disappeared. Vanished into thin air. My head sharply turned to a different direction, the realization slowly sinking in. There was no longer anyone else. No cars, no people, no animals– no one was there. I was utterly alone in this world. I should’ve known this would happen. I don’t deserve to have anyone else, especially not after.. Who was I thinking about? It doesn’t matter anyway.
Just as I began to sink in my suffering, I lifted my head and closed my eyes. I prayed to whatever God that was out there to save me from this pain. I opened my eyes to see the last person I would’ve expected to. My dearest friend. A small smile grew on my face, the relief filling into my soul. He looked at me and opened his mouth to say something. I didn’t expect him to say such a thing. “Why haven’t you accepted it yet?’
I was frozen in place from my shock. The memories came flooding back in, he had been dead for seven years. He had died, and it was my fault. No one else to blame, but me. His eyes lingered on my face, the black of his pupils slowly covering his face until his entire body was midnight black. This darkness spread around the swingset, consuming it entirely. The void surrounded me and I couldn’t do anything but stand there hopelessly. I began to beg for forgiveness, the tears streaming down my face rapidly. That’s right, I remember it now. It was seemingly removed from my memory. He sacrificed himself for me, and I couldn’t accept it. I purposely blocked it out so I didn’t have to confront such horrible things. These swings were my last way to have a memory of his pure, yet haunting, soul.
It’s time that I grow up and finally learn to welcome my faults with open arms.