Chapter Text
Usually, when characters transmigrate, it's into a fantastical world in the medieval times, and our shining protagonist takes the place of a villain, or maybe a supporting character—or, God forbid, the main character theirself (though that seems to be considered a bit cringe nowadays)!
Not you, though. The only thing you shared with those crazy ‘morally gray’ but actually morally pure white geniuses was the tried and true truck method.
It was some time in the afternoon during your baby cousin's birthday party, and you'd been asked to go buy ice at a nearby store. It wasn't a long walk, really, you wouldn't have taken any more than 10 minutes to get there, buy the drinks, and head back—how were you supposed to predict that in that short time, a driver-less truck would suddenly crash straight into you?!
Well, actually, you don't remember it crashing into you: all you remember is the sight of the damn truck, the thought of your baby cousin in her cute little Cinderella dress, and the realization that you'd ruined her special day.
You woke up in bed. Not a hospital bed, and not even your bed at home. Just a bed in general. Neat, light blue sheets with two pillows next to each other. The room was perfectly clean when you looked around, all light colors and round edges. The outlets were covered, the corners of the drawers were covered, the floor was carpeted—it felt baby-proofed.
You were heaving hard, desperately trying to catch your breath after the startle that was the single second you had to prepare for your imminent death. Sweat dripped down the back of your shirt as you scanned the room, looking for a note perhaps left by whatever bystander you assumed saw what happened and let you stay in their guest room.
Of course, the room was empty.
DING!
Your head snaps to the sound.
DING! DING!
[Host! Good morningヽ(・∀・)ﾉ]
.. No. No way.
[This system is the WIDELY lauded, lovely little genius, SYSTEM 69-420!]
There's no way—wait, what the hell is up with those numbers?
[Host, it's time for work! Together, we will face this day and its challenges with gusto and spirit! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧]
Fuck—
“Can I get a single minute to compose myself..?”
DING!
This time, the strange opaque purple screen is on the other side of the bed, and you have to whip your head around again to read the words on it.
[Host, you seem a bit carefree.. This system thinks we're already late.. (￣ω￣) But.. this system supposes one (1) minute wouldn't hurt!]
“Uhm. Maybe five minutes?”
After all, you've been isekai'd—you need to get your bearings together, you don't even know what could be happening outside.
[FIVE (5) minutes?! Host! ㅠㅠ How am I supposed to explain that to the customers?! Well.. Eek, you're really putting this system in a tight spot!! Fine, take it, take it!]
Customers? Oh, you must be some sort of herbalist! Like, an apothecary.. person.. or something. Or maybe a blacksmith?
Following the system's suggestion, you take the time to orient yourself with your situation and surroundings. First, you confirm that your body is still.. well, your body, and thankfully you don't find any changes whatsoever.
You find your phone and charger in the deep pockets of your hoodie, but your phone won't turn on. You can't quite remember if you charged your phone or not before leaving the house, and you were too preoccupied with the party to even conceptualize touching your phone, so you truly have no idea if it broke from being transported through worlds or if it was just dead the whole time.
(Yes, you ignore the tissues and candy wrappers at the bottom of your pockets, too, and.. is that a popcorn kernel? Uh, maybe you're more unhygienic than you thought..)
Your shoes, socks, clothes, even the hair tie on your wrist, were all perfectly intact. So, with great excitement and wonder, you open the curtains of the window, and—
A dude passes by on the street, wearing a vaguely British-looking school uniform (blazer and slacks and waistcoat and all), phone in hand.
Uhm. This isn't medieval.
A group of teenage boys pass by, too, looking completely and totally average (save for the boy with dyed green hair) and wearing the same uniform as the first dude, all with their phones in hand.
Is there no hope?
‘..!’
The hope for your amazing, fantastical isekai life rekindles when a guy with wolf ears and a wolf tail passes by, the non-human appendages moving and looking perfectly real.
Beastpeople!
Then a guy with tiger features (in a different, more princely uniform than the other boys, but a uniform nonetheless—is your new home near schools?) passes by, walking alongside someone with long, dark braided hair, tied with a blue ribbon.
.. Hey, that feels kind of familiar.
DING!
[Host, welcome to TWISTED WONDERLAND!]
.. Erm. Is that all?
“Sixty-nine four-hundred-twenty, are you going to explain any further, or..?”
[Hehe, Host! Just call this system ‘SYSTEM’!]
Ahem, this system will graciously.. hehe.. GRACIOUSLY explain your situation! For this system is gracious! Cacaw!]
Why did the system suddenly turn into a crow there at the end?
[TWISTED WONDERLAND is.. a twisted wonderland! Wonderland, but TWISTED! That's TWISTED WONDERLAND for you!]
“Oh, you mean ‘wonderland’, as in Alice's ‘wonderland’?”
[Hm? Host?]
“Yyyyeeeess..?”
[This system didn't quite catch what you said! Repeat yourself, if you'd be so kind!]
“Oh, I asked if this wonderland is the same as Alice's wonderland, like, in ALICE IN WONDERLAND?”
DING!
The purple screen appears directly in front of your face, so you have to crane your head back to read the words.
[!!!!!!! Host!!!! Goodness, oh goodness, Host!! Do you not remember the manual, your training in the COMPANY?]
What is this system talking about this time? Why is it so vague, anyways? Manual? Training? Why is what you said such a problem?
[Host, as stated in page 67 of the COMPANY's employee manual, transmigrated hosts must not mention the source material of the world they are in!]
What company..??? Source material? So ‘Twisted Wonderland' really is Alice In Wonderland?
[.. Host? Did you read the manual?]
“Not really?”
[..! Host O_O! Don't tell me THEY let a rookie go into a world like this!]
‘They?’ Actually, you feel like you've been parroting the system's words this whole time. Will you start saying kaomojis out loud too or something?
[THEY, as in, your esteemed seniors! Which squad are you in, Host?! This system will help you submit a complaint!]
“I'm not in the company.”
[? Host?]
…
[HOST???!??!?!?!?!?!? Not.. You. You're not? But you got here through the designated means, didn't you, Host?! You got hit by a moving vehicle, that's the proper entrance to TWISTED WONDERLAND for outsider entities!]
“You mean the truck?”
[HOOOOST!!! The CARRIAGE! Oh no, I can't believe this, Host—you're not actually a seasoned transmigrator..? Or even one who knows what they're doing at all..? Well.. Give this system a moment to ask for help!
Host, in the meantime, go freshen up! Even if we're having a bit of trouble, you still have work to do!]
Uh, okay. You suppose the system will ask.. the other systems or the ‘company’ for advice or something, and your hair is feeling a bit greasy, so you look around the room.
DING!
There's an opaque, purple arrow pointing at the door.
Er, this feels like a video game. The system mentioned transmigrating and source material and whatnot, so maybe this is a video game? But isn't it based off of Alice In Wonderland? A Disney game, then.
You go towards it and open the door. You're in the hallway of a very normal, average-looking house. There are potted plants and about three doors other than the one you just came out of, and there's a staircase leading down. Another purple arrow appears with a DING!, pointing at the door directly across your room. Probably the bathroom.
Well.. whatever. In another situation, maybe you'd be like, AHHHHH I NEED TO GO TRAIN OR SOMETHING I JUST GOT ISEKAI'D, but the world outside is so painfully average that you can't find the situation to be pressing. You just take a nice shower and grab a towel from under the sink.
The house is nice, but it looks relatively unused, like a hotel room. You assume you didn't take a specific character's spot or anything (well, if you did, your body wouldn't be as it was before the truck, would it?). You're glad, because it would've brought some guilt to steal some poor sod's house, family, and body.
The clock on the wall, next to an empty picture frame, reads 6:44. Pretty early. Considering your body is the same as it always was, you assume you have to get ready for sch—
Oh!!! Are you a student at the same school as either of the groups that passed by?
“System?”
Instantly, DING!
[Hooooost… ( ͒˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ͒) You're so sweet and cheerful, but.. Huhuhu, Host…!! You're not a student, at EITHER of those schools!]
‘… But isn't that the most obvious path for an isekai'd person like myself?’
[That's right, Host! But, you see, this job was prepared for a rookie's introduction to the COMPANY, alongside a senior from their team! But TWISTED WONDERLAND is pretty dangerous, and it seems the rookie's senior had some trouble getting in.. This cute system]—
?
—[asked the bosses, and the situation is like this.. Ah, do you want to sit down, Host? This system can explain while you're getting changed!]
Actually, that's weirdly thoughtful.
“Sure.”
So, you go to the room—well, it's probably your room now—and open the closet, sighing in relief at the clean clothes inside. Sweatpants, oversized t-shirts, sweaters, and jackets. You spot multiple pairs of socks, too, and a few band t-shirts that seem to play on actual bands you remember from reality (shirts that read Buns ‘N Poses, Negative Neurotics, Pex Sistols.. They never end). Or is it better to say your original world?
DING!
[Host, get ready for the exposition dump!]
How unapologetic.
[The rookie was originally supposed to claim the spot that you have right now, Host, but after their senior had trouble—ah, their senior had the role of the central character who deals with all the troublesome parts of the story, while the rookie just got to enjoy the experience of being in a new world with different rules and magic and all—, they were forbidden from coming because it'd be dangerous.
Host, the bosses said that if this rookie hadn't been called back, you would probably be minced meat! But since your situation fitted the entry to TWISTED WONDERLAND, it seems the world just let you fill in this spot!]
You sit on the corner of your neat bed, reading the words on the screen carefully. Twisted Wonderland.. It rings a bell, but the bell is so quiet it might as well be ringing from your basement, while you're sitting in the attic. You still have no idea what the underlined, all-caps company is, but it actually sounds decent, considering the higher-ups assigned the newbie a babysitter and called the newbie back when the situation took a turn for the worse.
Hey, wait a minute.
“System, the senior from.. the company.. isn't here, so who's handling the troublesome things you mentioned?”
…
[(″ロ゛)...]
“System?”
[This.. This system.. THIS SYSTEM COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THAT!!!! EEK, HOST, WHAT DO WE DO?!?!?!]
“That's what I want to know!”
You raise your voice, panicked now that the only being that can help is panicking too. You wish you knew the source material, but ‘Twisted Wonderland’ didn't actually seem similar to Alice In Wonderland at all.
You sigh, squeezing the blanket under you. “What happens in Twisted Wonderland, anyways? You said it was dangerous, troublesome, and the name doesn't sound promising at all, now that I think about it.”
[... We don't have time for that, Host.. Don't you remember what this system said earlier? WE! HAVE! WORK!]
“? Okay? Then let's go..? But will it really be sa—”
A surge of dizziness hits you, and you cradle your head in your hands, squinting at the pressure behind your eyes and the lurch in your stomach. As the pain slowly abates, you gain back the brainpower to wonder what work will look like in this world.
You blink a few times to get rid of the few tears in your eyes, not wanting to risk shaking your head in case it'll make the pain come back. And when you properly come to, you're standing behind a counter, a quaint café in front of you.
DING!
[Welcome to work, Host!]
The purple screen displays, under the text and sparkles, what you easily infer to be the front of the store, a cozy-looking wooden sign hanging over the door, with your surname followed by ‘café’ written on it. That's straightforward—and also unexpected, the system never referred to you as anything but ‘Host’, so you assumed it didn't know your name, let alone your surname.
Oh, wait a minute.. This is work?
You got isekai'd to a world with beastpeople and magic (according to the system), and you have a system, and you just.. work at a café.
Fuck your fucking chungus life.