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Sharpness supposed he was to blame for wholeheartedly believing that leaving the safety of the temporary 5 by 5 hole he was staying in would be a good idea.
He was worryingly under geared, resources dwindling by what felt like the hour until he was running on a few golden apples a day accompanied by his severe lack of sleep and an oh so lovely case of paranoia. Sharpness knew he would have to leave eventually in search of an unguarded base to rob, because what else was he supposed to do? Crawl back to Jude and beg for his stuff back? Yeah, he'd rather starve.
So yeah, he was pretty desperate. Despite this, he could now admit that leaving the hole had not been one of his brightest moments (Sharpness didn't have many of those).
Maybe he could've avoided his current... situation if he hadn't been running on two hours of sleep. Maybe his hair wouldn't be matted with blood if he had dodged the axe that had swung at him while he was distracted with barely avoiding a mace from above. Maybe his entire body wouldn't be shrieking at him in vision-blurring pain if he had remembered to replace his makeshift door with dirt last night.
Maybe, just maybe, this wouldn't have happened if he had just sucked it up and went back to Jude.
Sharpness swung wildly, scrambling for the sword in his inventory as blood dripped into his vision, clouding his sight in a thick, crimson haze and oozing from whatever weapon had greeted his forehead when he made the grave mistake of stepping outside. His movements were panicked as he slashed forwards, but Sharpness was only met with more pain as the invisible player predicted his attack flawlessly and ducked, striking him with an axe to the hip. Sharpness hissed and jolted back, his hand moving on instinct to cover the wound, only to be met with his fingers slipping into the massive ravine that was now carved into his skin. Bile rose to his throat and he snatched his hand back to his chest immediately with a shaky breath, biting his tongue until he tasted blood.
Another player who seemed to come from absolutely nowhere lunged from behind, their blade missing Sharpness by pure luck as he stumbled sideways, blood fountaining from his side as his head threatened to explode. He whipped around in panic, now faced with two invisible players clad in glistening Netherite that flickered with enchantments.
You see, on any other day this probably would've been the easiest 2v1 of Sharpness's life. Today, however, as he stood there rooted to the ground like a deer in headlights, Sharpness realised he was probably going to die.
He found himself slowing by the second. Blow after blow, arrow after arrow, health pot after health pot. If he wanted to live, he needed to run now.
He had been living in a dark forest biome ever since he had respawned in Jude's base and ran like his life was on the line (it most certainly was after what he tried to pull). A week had passed, and since then Sharpness had only acquired so much. With no allies, no base, and an empty inventory, Sharpness had stolen what little items he could before seeking out a suitable biome he could dig a hole in and preferably never leave.
But, alas, it would never be that simple, because all it took was a week before he was jumped. He knew it wouldn't last, he wasn't naive. He just hadn't expected it to hurt so much, he thought as an arrow nicked his neck, leaving a waterfall of spurting blood in its wake.
Sharpness had never bled out before, but it was told to be one of the most excruciating deaths a player could experience, and Sharpness was very keen on not being one of those few unlucky players cursed with the memory of feeling your blood drained from your body.
So, he ran.
Arrows whistled past him, but he didn't look back, charging into the dense forest and slipping between the overgrown trees. It was impossible to use wind charges with such a tight canopy above, and Sharpness saw a glimmer of hope for the first time since teaming with J--
An arrow pierced his leg, and Sharpness instantly had the sickening sensation of chains bolting themselves to his legs as the arrow of slowness settled into his bloodstream. Another sharper pain shot through his system as an arrow of harming grazed his blood-sodden hip, whistling past the chunk of missing flesh.
He tore the arrow free from his leg and kept running like the coward he was, but his attackers were gaining on him fast, and Sharpness had no plan and no backup and no--
Lost in his thoughts of inescapable doom, Sharpness collided face first with something warm, something familiar, something safe--
He shook his throbbing head a little more violently than necessary and scrambled backwards to reveal a very real, very angry Judelow glaring down at him. Just his luck. He was pretty sure he'd be freaking out of his mind if he was actually in his right mind. It was almost a blessing that he wasn't.
"You bitch," Jude snarled, looming over one dazed Sharpness, who stared at him like a fish out of water. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Help me," Sharpness blurted before he could stop himself, words flowing from his mouth almost as fast as the blood pouring from his body. "There are people-- you have to help me--"
"I don't have to do shit," Jude snapped coldly, but if Sharpness hadn't been at risk of dying of blood loss he might have noticed the purple eyes flickering over his injuries.
"I'll do anything." And now he was begging, apparently. Sharpness never begged. What was so different about this one fight? (What was so different about Jude?) "Please Jude, they're gonna kill me."
A heartbeat passed as Sharpness prepared to accept his death right there and then. Maybe he could beg Jude to kill him instead, so he wouldn't be adding killing Sharpness to his attackers’ satisfaction after wounding him to the point he suspected he was probably concussed (why else would he be letting himself be so vulnerable in front of his enemy if he wasn't delirious? Right?).
What he didn't prepare for was for Judelow to mutter, "I don't know why I do this to myself," followed by a much rougher, "Stay here and don't move," before he rounded a tree and left, out of sight.
Yeah, Sharpness wasn't sure he could move even if he tried, he thought sluggishly, like his mind was a pit filled with toxic waste that he had to struggle through if he wanted to form a singular thought.
Sharpness struggled to his feet, countless injuries screeching in protest as he moved to lean against a tree, eyes closing against his will. His hand hovered uselessly over the alarmingly large graze on his hip. If the health pots from before hadn't healed it in the slightest... yeah, that was going to scar.
He wasn't sure how long he stood there, waiting for his inevitable death as he slowly bled out waiting for someone who would never return, before his communicator vibrated.
"I hate you so much, you know," snarked a threateningly close voice. Sharpness startled so bad his head slammed back against the tree from where he was standing, blinking rapidly in an attempt to identify where the voice was coming from. Stars exploded as the edges of his vision began to blur.
"Wow, you've just guaranteed yourself a concussion on top of everything else. Nice job."
Oh. Jude was right in front of him. When had he gotten back? What had happened to the invisible players? Sharpness stared up at him blankly.
"Fuck you, Sharpness," he went on, ears twitching. Sharpness had never asked if they were fake or not. "Making me help you after the shit you pulled. You're lucky I didn't leave you there to die."
"Mmm," Sharpness agreed. He was pretty sure his eyes had fluttered closed, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.
"Hey, Sharp," Jude said suddenly. "How many fingers am I holding up?"
He was calling him Sharp again... "Like... two."
"Your eyes are closed, dumbass," sighed Jude. "Hey, look at me. Sharpness. I swear to god if you die after what I just did for your ungrateful ass—"
"Not ungrateful," Sharpness murmured past the blood trickling from his lips. He coughed weakly, faintly aware of how pathetic he was being right now. But with tendrils of twisting agony spreading through every vein and blooming across his body like a flower with thorns for petals, it made it hard to focus on maintaining his composure, which was slipping by the second alongside his grasp on consciousness.
"Hey," Jude said, voice strained as a sliver of panic slipped into his tone. Suddenly a health potion was being pressed to his lips, and Sharpness swallowed despite knowing health pots became ineffective after one too many. And Sharpness had long since passed 'one too many'.
His head bowed like a ragdoll as soon as Jude removed his grip on his chin. He should probably warn Jude he was going to pass out, right? And probably die a few minutes later? Yeah... he should... do that...
The last thing he heard before his mind finally surrendered to the dark claws that had been weaving his wavering consciousness into a sticky web was Jude's voice, and Sharpness wasn't complaining.
"Ungrateful stubborn asshole," was the first thing Sharpness's hazy mind registered upon regaining an ounce of control over his awareness.
The next was the comforting feeling of warm hands grazing his skin and the not so comforting feeling of his flesh being torn open.
Sharpness flinched with a gasp, jolting forwards and reaching for his side on instinct, but not before that warm hand grabbed his wrist in a firm, almost painful hold.
"Oh my god. It's like you don't even want me to help you."
His shaky gaze darted towards the worst of his gaping, screaming wounds. Sharpness was shocked to find that his skin was in fact not being torn open (any more than it had been, at least), and was instead dressed in gauze and a set of neat, half-finished stitches. He settled on staring dumbly at Jude's hand on his, feeling sick to his stomach at the sight of his exposed flesh staring back at him. Jude withdrew his grip like it had burned as Sharpness's gaze rested on it, and he berated himself for missing the warmth.
He was pretty sure Jude was saying something, mouth moving as he adjusted his hold on the string tugging painfully at Sharpness's side, but whatever it was completely slipped Sharpness's mind as he surveyed his surroundings. There was a heavy, pulsing pressure in his head that threatened to explode at any moment, making it pretty hard to focus, but he managed to make out the familiar walls of Jude's room. But Jude's base was thousands of blocks away from the forest Sharpness had been hiding in -- had he dragged him all the way back here? Why? Was this some form of blackmail to get back at Sharpness's sad attempt at a betrayal?
That was all Sharpness's lagging brain could conjure before even more pain exploded like shots of lightning through his veins. He coughed violently, lurching forwards as blood bubbled from his lips. Hands were on him in an instant, pushing him back down
"You couldn't wait another, like, five minutes before waking up? I need to finish these, Sharp," said Jude, not unkindly. Since when did Jude speak to him 'not unkindly'?
Sharpness squinted against the blurred edges of his vision to make out the hazy outline of Jude's worried face. Wait, worried? Yeah, Sharpness was definitely concussed. Why else would he think Jude was worried about him? If anything, he was probably worried amount the concerning amount of blood that was now staining his sheets and clothes.
Yeah, that made more sense.
"You're trying to kill me!" Sharpness sputtered, swiping an arm over his mouth. It came back sticky with blood.
"Literally where did you get that idea from. You're the one that made me carry you all the way here!" Jude said, eyes wide with fury but tone laced with something Sharpness didn't dare try reading into, because that would be delusional.
(It sounded suspiciously similar to concern. Delusional indeed.)
"I didn't make you do anything! I'll leave right now, just watch me," Sharpness retorted, telling himself his words weren't slurring and his vision wasn't flickering.
"Don't--" Jude started, but was cut off as Sharpness shot from the bed with alarming speed and pushed past Jude, walking -- not limping, thank you very much -- to where he hoped the door was.
He made it about two steps before black spots swallowed his vision and his knees buckled. A new sickening wave of pain crashed over him, so overwhelming Sharpness feared he was going to pass out.
But almost just as quickly as he had stumbled, an arm was hooked under his chest, dragging him back to the bed. Sharpness thought he might throw up from the pain, if he didn't pass out first.
"Stubborn fucking princess," Jude was muttering, and as irritating as the insult was, Sharpness clung to Jude’s voice like a lifeline.
"I had that," gasped Sharpness, his deathly pale cheeks heating with shame. Top 100 players jumped by two cowards and now bleeding out in his enemy's base, concussed and rendered completely useless and at his enemy's mercy. He couldn't even make it two blocks without feeling like he was going to drop right there and then. Yeah, some deadly player he was.
Jude was saying something, and again Sharpness found his mind drifting despite his efforts at using Jude's voice as an anchor. Instead, his mind was trudging back to his previous statement. Were he and Jude really enemies now? For some reason that thought stung sharper than any blade could. Why did he care? That then begged the question that had been floating around Sharpness's head for a while: why had Jude helped him?
He let Jude ramble for a moment longer before finally voicing the question he was terrified of knowing the answer for. "Why are you doing this, Jude?"
He winced at the sound of his own voice, raspy and broken, like it had been starved of the basic necessities to live for the past week.
Jude tilted his head, and for whatever reason Sharpness's brain registered it as cute. "Doing what? Helping you? I mean, it's not like I could've just left you to die, Sharp."
"But you literally could've!" Sharpness blurted. "You have before, so what changed?"
Jude stared at him blankly, and Sharpness found himself shrinking under that narrowed violet gaze, as if Jude could dissect him piece by piece by simply looking at him.
Then, after what seemed like hours of pointlessly trying to control his facial expression and trembling body, Jude said quietly, "Did all of that really mean nothing to you?"
And despite his current questionable state of mind, Sharpness knew what Jude was talking about instantly. Of course it did, he wanted to say. You mean everything to me, Jude, he didn't say. And so he stayed silent, gaze slipping downwards as a fresh wall of guilt hit him with the force of a thousand density five maces.
"I guess not, then," Jude snarled, his voice dripping with so much venom Sharpness flinched. "I don't even know why I'm helping you."
"Jude, I--"
"Save it. Actually, give me one reason I shouldn't quick drop you right now and tell everyone you're a lost cause." Jude paused expectedly, crossing his arms as something flashed behind his eyes. A flicker of what, however, Sharpness couldn't tell, for his vision swam and wavered like a dying flame that had reached its last ember. Still, Jude deserved an answer. He owed him that much.
"Please--" he tried, before he was met with a sudden stab of pain that had him clutching at his side, feeling increasingly lightheaded. He coughed weakly, resuming his attempt at forming a coherent sentence over the scarlet river now trickling from his mouth. "I didn't--"
Ah, that was what had been flickering behind those violet eyes. Guilt. Well, it most certainly wasn't, because in what world would Jude feel guilty over something that Sharpness was at fault for? Still, that was what Sharpness's mind was pretending it was, and he was too tired to argue with it.
Jude reached forward, face twisting with an emotion that was definitely not guilt, shut up brain, and reaching for what, Sharpness wasn't sure, but it gave him a split second to recover from choking on his own blood to pour every ounce of energy that was somehow still in his heavy bones into forcing his voice to not sound so pathetic.
"It just felt too good to be true! You were gonna betray me one way or another, so what other choice did I have?" You could tell me to do anything and I would do it, he meant. You have so much power over me and I have no idea why and you would've used that against me like you are now--
"Just stop talking, please, Sharp," Jude said, the panic in his voice triggering alarm bells in Sharpness's dulled senses. "You're killing yourself. Just lie still and let me-- let me..."
Sharpness blinked. Oh yeah, he had forgotten that certain death awaited him. And suddenly the blurring was back tenfold. Sharpness struggled to even register the hand holding his in a deathly, desperate grip through the jumbled mess of hazy silhouettes. Everything was melting into unrecognisable shapes and colours, scarcely visible through the blood now dripping into his vision.
He tried, he really did, to focus on whatever Jude was saying, on the hand holding his. And even if he didn't deserve Jude's worry or touch in the slightest, Sharpness still smiled and squeezed Jude’s hand, right before red obscured his vision and caged it in silent black.
At this point, Sharpness really wasn't surprised when he blinked his heavy eyes open, chasing away the last remainders of darkness clinging to his vision, to reveal the walls of Jude's base. He had accepted his fate in his state of unconscious -- Jude was going to kill him.
Of course, not before revealing to the entire server how pathetic Sharpness had been, running from a 2v1 and begging for his enemy's help. But Sharpness could worry about that later. What he needed to worry about now was getting out of here.
He forced himself into a sitting position, refusing to acknowledge what the pull of fresh bandages and stitches could mean. Ignoring the pulsing pressure already building in the depths of his skull, alongside his bandaged, itching wounds, Sharpness heaved his battered body to the floor, rising stiffly from the too-soft sheets of Jude's bed. The world spun as Sharpness dragged himself to the closest exit, beads of sweat pricking at his forehead as he bit down on his tongue to stop any pained, embarrassing noises from escaping his throat--
--Before promptly tripping over his own feet and crashing to the ground. He landed knees first before falling to the side, pushing himself up against the wall and breathing heavily. He was sure Jude had left, probably in search of players he could expose Sharpness's patheticness to, but he should still be careful--
"Sharpness, sit the fuck down."
Oh no.
There, ears brushing against the doorframe, arms crossed and eyes glaring, was one furious Judelow.
"I am sitting down," Sharpness said smartly, raising his chin like his words weren't slurring and his pride wasn't already damaged beyond repair.
"Get back on the bed," Jude said, and Sharpness actually would have rather liked that (he told himself the constant sting of his wounds was making him delusional again) if his body didn't literally betray him by rooting him to the ground.
Oh no.
Why wasn't he moving? Why did his limbs feel like they were being weighed down by a thousand stacks of iron blocks? How could someone on the top 100 players leader board possibly be so weak?
(Maybe the blood leaking through his bandages and the trembling of his limbs had something to do with it, both so intense he feared he could fall over or even pass out again at any moment. Probably not though.)
Sharpness pondered this for what was probably a while because suddenly there were arms slipping under his legs and back and the world had resumed in doing its sickening lurching thing again.
"Hey!" Sharpness squawked, flailing in Jude's arms. In Jude's arms. Why exactly was he allowing himself to be in Jude's arms? "I can walk two blocks by myself, you know!"
Jude snorted, not even sparing the man currently cradled against his chest so much as a glance in his direction. "Whatever you say, princess."
Sharpness told himself the reddening of his cheeks was a side effect of blood loss and decidedly not a result of the weird fluffy feeling currently brewing in his stomach.
He was then dumped -- well no, he was actually laid across the sheets with a gentleness so unlike Jude that it scared Sharpness, who stiffened at once when he hit the soft wool as if bracing for a blow that would never come -- back onto Jude's bed.
"I don't even know how you managed to get up," Jude was muttering from where he was digging through a chest. Probably to find a sword to kill Sharpness. Because that had to be it. Because if Jude wasn't planning on killing Sharpness what else was he supposed to think? That Jude cared about him? Sharpness almost scoffed at the idea before remembering Jude was probably expecting a reply.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sharpness protested weakly. "It's not like I was just gonna sit around waiting to die."
The glare Jude shot Sharpness's way was so fierce Sharpness actually flinched. "For the last time, Sharp, I'm not going to kill you. Why would I go through all this trouble if I wanted to kill you?"
That was a good question. Why was Jude putting all this effort into saving Sharpness's life? Why had he killed those invis players? Why had he dragged him all the way back to his own base to patch him up? Why had he allowed Sharpness to pass out twice in his own bed, to stain the sheets and walls and floors with blood?
He realised Jude had been looking at him expectedly from the chest. "Uhh," said Sharpness. "Blackmail?"
Jude blinked once, twice. Then he turned back to gathering an assortment of items into his arms after muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, "This guy bro."
Sharpness frowned but kept quiet, instead choosing to try and identify whatever Jude was currently gathering.
He lasted about five seconds before everything drifted out of focus and suddenly Jude was dumping a medkit alongside a fresh roll of bandages onto the bed.
"Stay still," Jude said. "I think you pulled some of your stitches."
"Not possible," Sharpness huffed, but locked his body into place from where he was propped up against the wall anyway. He was only listening to Jude because it'd be very embarrassing if he passed out again, Sharpness told himself.
He glanced down at whatever Jude had been doing at his side just in time to see the hybrid reaching for the torn stitches jutting out of the ravine of flesh, which had started bleeding again, albeit sluggishly.
"Hey!" Sharpness yelped, jolting out of the way and colliding with the cold, solid wall. He inhaled sharply but forced a straight face (he hoped) despite the pain that crackled through his battered body at the sudden movement.
"Oh my god, Sharp," said Jude, his tone that of someone on their last straw. Which was unfair because it wasn't like Sharpness had asked Jude to help him.
(Yeah, who was he kidding. He had pretty much begged for Jude's help, and the latter was likely going to hold that over his head for a long, long time.)
"Trying to kill me!" accused Sharpness, tossing him a dull glare as if his several bleeding injuries weren't currently prickling like an army of tiny cave spiders that slowly ate away at your flesh. As if he hadn't just failed to produce a fully coherent sentence.
"I'm seriously considering it," Jude muttered. There was a pause as the two stared at each other. Sharpness, eyes wide (with what, Sharpness didn't want to acknowledge, but it felt awfully similar to fear) and somewhat dazed. Jude, expression unreadable as his eyes narrowed again, clearly deep in thought.
The staring (which was somewhat one-sided, considering Sharpness's brain had now drifted elsewhere, his gaze slipping right through Jude) lasted for about ten seconds before Jude suddenly snapped to life. He grabbed Sharpness's wrist before he even realised what was happening and leaned impossibly closer to hiss into Sharpness's ear, "Stay still or I tell everyone you're a pathetic excuse for a player. Move an inch or breathe a word and I leave you here to bleed out alone."
Sharpness flinched so hard he almost fell over, his breath hitching as his eyes flickered across Jude's face. He nodded silently, breaths shallow as Jude's words scraped rawly against his pride. Pathetic.
Maybe if he wasn't so busy replaying those words over and over again he would've seen the intense flash of guilt that overwhelmed Jude's entire body.
Jude worked just as silently, weaving stitch after stitch through the wound as Sharpness tried not to pass out from the pain. Instead he tried to focus on the metallic tang of blood in his mouth from clamping down on his tongue too hard in a desperate attempt to distract himself from the forceful tugs at his skin. They seared with agony no matter how careful Jude was being.
Which didn't really make sense. Had Jude not just threatened Sharpness's life, just like Sharpness knew he would? And worse, had he not just confirmed Sharpness's fears of the server soon discovering his weakness, all because he had made the grave mistake of being vulnerable in front of an enemy? In front of Jude?
A pain-ridden breath escaped his throat against his will as Jude tied off the stitches, and Sharpness squeezed his eyes shut on instinct. Jude paused, and Sharpness knew this was the end, that the ground would open up and he’d be dropped into a--
"Sharp," Jude said, voice so soft Sharpness’s eyes flew open in immediate shock. "I'm--" He watched as Jude seemed to consider his words. "Just-- did us really mean nothing to you? I just-- I need to know."
"Of course not," Sharpness said, voice raw and head clouded from pain. "It meant everything."
Wow. He really liked to dig his own grave, didn't he?
Silence. Cold, illegible silence that settled over the room like a sheet of suffocating, unforgiving powdered snow, so thick Sharpness feared he might drown in it. The longer the silence stretched with Jude frozen at his side, the more time Sharpness had to try and accept his death and the embarrassing rumours that would follow--
"You have to stay here."
Uh. Huh? Was Jude feeling okay? Maybe he was the concussed one. Sharpness could practically feel the confusion pouring into his expression even before Jude hurried to explain himself.
"If -- and yes, if, I never planned on telling anyone -- word gets out that you're injured, the entire server will be after you," Jude reasoned. "You'd be a walking, bleeding target. People don't just recover the next day from nearly dying of blood loss, Sharp."
Sharpness blinked. "You were never gonna tell anyone? Then why'd you say all that?"
"That's all you got from that?" Jude huffed, but his tone was tinged with affection which unfortunately flew right over Sharpness's head like usual. "And maybe because you're a stubborn asshole."
"You didn't have to be mean," Sharpness whined, but he was grinning like an idiot. Was there really a chance Jude didn’t think he was pathetic?
"Well, it worked, didn't it? You're not bleeding out anymore."
Sharpness looked down at his exposed chest and arms, now completely draped in stark white bandages. His legs too had a firm roll of cloth wrapped around each wound where the arrows had pierced him.
“Huh, I guess so,” he said simply, because what else was he supposed to do with that information? “So, uh, you’re not gonna tell anyone?”
“I’m not a monster, Sharp,” Jude said. He paused again, mulling over his words, before his tone dropped, uncharacteristically so as he glanced away. “And for what it’s worth, we were a badass duo.”
Sharpness stared. Was the Judelow blushing over him? “Awww. Thanks, Jude.”
“Shut up,” Jude snapped, but there was no bite to his tone and the reddish hue dusting his cheeks brightened. The giddy grin returned to Sharpness’s face tenfold. “You’re changing the topic. Stay here and I won’t kill you. Probably. Deal?”
“I’m not that dumb, Jude,” Sharpness complained, smile slipping from his face into definitely not a pout. “Why should I trust you?”
“You shouldn’t,” Jude answered. “But it’s not like you have a choice.”
Sharpness scoffed in an attempt to mask the flicker of fear that shot through his body. “You underestimate me. I can leave right now!” he protested.
. “You say that like you weren’t about to start crying because you couldn’t stand up on your own.”
“What?” Sharpness shrieked. “No I wasn’t! You’re literally lying to yourself.”
“Maybe you’re just stubborn.”
“Like you can talk! You’d be doing the exact same thing if you were in my position!”
“Deflecting again!” Jude accused. This again? Sharpness frowned. “You’re staying here until you’re healed.”
Why was Jude so consistent on keeping him here? Shouldn’t he want Sharpness to leave and make a fool of himself when he inevitably respawned in Jude’s bed? All these questions were hurting his brain, which hurt regardless, he thought wryly. He reached up to let his fingers drift along the soft bandage wrapped firmly around his forehead. Jude really had gone to a lot of trouble to ensure Sharpness’s survival. But still. It would be in Jude’s best interest to let Sharpness leave.
He was running in circles. Maybe he should just ask Jude why he wanted to keep Sharpness here, in the comfort of his own base. And yeah, Jude’s base was comforting. Jude was comforting, despite everything Sharpness had been telling himself to try to convince his traitorous brain otherwise.
But he couldn’t. Couldn’t ask Jude, couldn’t stay here, couldn’t let his guard down, couldn’t be vulnerable.
That traitorous side of his brain was telling himself he was overthinking. That maybe he really could team up with Jude again, that he could apologise and finally have a home. A teammate. A friend. Someone he wouldn’t betray, someone he could trust, someone who’d—
That was definitely the concussed side, Sharpness decided after hearing that side out for no longer than two seconds.
“Helloooo? Earth to Sharpness?” Oh, right. Sharpness angled his head to glare at Jude.
“No,” he said, despite his aching body and exhausted mind screaming at him to just give in and say yes. And he wanted to, he really did, but he just… couldn’t. That’s not how Sharpness worked. He was a solo player, and would remain a solo player, even if he was desperate and bleeding for a break. It was safer that way.
Jude blinked, jaw actually dropping before he shook himself and forced out a laugh.
“No? You’re really not in any position to say no, Sharp,” Jude said with another strained chuckle.
“I don’t wanna.”
“You don’t wanna? Why?”
“Um.” Because I’m afraid that as soon as I get comfortable you’ll pull a lever or push a button and drop me into my ultimate demise while you tell me and everyone else that I’m a gullible idiot? It wasn’t like he could just say that, though. “Uhhhhh--”
“That’s what I thought,” Jude said in a tone all too smug, but his smile was soft and the glint in his eyes could even pass as affectionate. “Go back to sleep, Sharp.”
As if on cue, a week’s worth of fatigue slammed into Sharpness, his eyes growing heavy and body slipping further into the comfort of Jude’s woollen sheets.
“You’ll be here when I wake up?” Sharpness asked, voice small, almost like he was afraid of the answer. Was he?
“I’m not going anywhere, Sharp,” Jude answered. “Unless you want me to?”
“I don’t.”
And if Jude threaded his fingers through Sharpness’s, a delicate smile gracing Sharpness’s lips before he drifted off into the first proper sleep he’d had in a week, the thought of Jude by his side with his hand in his stilling his restless mind…
Well, Sharpness supposed it wasn’t the end of the world after all.