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Jax blinks the sleep from his eyes, looking around the common area. Pomni and Ragatha are reading some stupid AI generated book, probably filled with bizarre Caineisms and errors. Gangle is sitting next to him for some weird reason, apparently not even bothering with her mask anymore. Kinger is over in the corner playing solitaire.
And Zooble is staring directly at them.
"Hey, [jLFAEL]? You okay?"
So that's how it's going to be? Fine.
"Wow Toybox, you can't even stop cussing at me when pretending to care? Why don't you and Crybaby here--" he knocks on her forehead for emphasis "go find what she did with her happy mask? It's been a while since I gave it the old Frisbee treatment."
"[fLXXL], should we do something? Vkh'v not normally that handsy gxulqj dq hslvrgh."
A pressure builds inside his head, right behind his eyes and he scoffs at Zooble.
"Oh, you're being a white knight for your little girlfriend? Gonna stand up to the big bad bully?"
"Brx nqrz vkh'v qrw pb jluoiulhqg." Zooble says, sinking into themself.
"God, your voice is so annoying it's giving me a headache. Talk to me when you don't sound like a radio demon slurring his words with a headcold."
Before he could storm off to his room, Gangle wraps his hand in her ribbons and turns to Zooble.
"[lNIA}, L surplvh zhoo wdon derxw wklv doo wrjhwkhu zkhq [jLFAEL]'v oxflg djdlq. Jax, Caine told you about an Adventure, didn't he? What's the next one?" Jax rips his hand out of her ribbons. He feels everyone's eyes on him; even Kinger is looking at him with a focus he can't remember the older man ever having before. Why? Why are they so intent on knowing the next adventure? They're all staring they know something's wrong with her him make it stop.
"What, you're actually excited for a new adventure? Sorry to break it to you, Ribbons, but he's just gonna spawn in a traveling circus down by the carnival and have us go there. 'Go To The Circus!' if I remember right. Lame, right?" He laughs out, but nobody is joining him. They just look horrified or ashamed. Everyone is still looking at her him, but nobody is staring. Zooble and Pomni are looking through her him, Ragatha is avoiding his gaze, Gangle seems to actually see her him, and Kinger looks like he can't see anything through the haze of red. The quiet is unnatural in this unnatural digital world; Jax is surprised at who breaks it.
"What the [HRBS]!?" Kinger shouted from his table. "Kh nqrzv krz iudjloh khu phqwdo vwdwh lv uljkw qrz dqg kh sxoov wklv vklw!?" The pressure building up in Jax' head has finally exploded into a migraine, causing them to rush off.
"I don't know what got the chess piece in a fit but honestly I don't care. I've got a headache, I'm going to bed."
Jax sat in the darkness. Or maybe he stood, or even ran. Maybe all of them, at once. It was impossible to tell, as Jax wasn't in the room at all. His body was staring at the ceiling, while he was back in the control room. If he was in his room he'd be hearing his heartbeat, his pulse rushing in his ears; instead he just hears Ragatha asking "what did you just do?". He'd feel the clamminess of his hands instead of the memory of the red button. He'd feel his hands rubbing against his ears, instead of regretting how permanent he just made their bodies.
He wonders why he hasn't abstracted yet. It's been at least a year, if the empty days didn't bleed together too much. Maybe this time he will. Maybe he'll finally rest.
And just like last time, it's a knock at the door that rips him from his spiral.
"[jLFAEL?]"
Irritated silence.
"Gdlvb, are you okay?" the ringing in his ears makes Jax barely able to understand them, let alone identify who it is.
"Go away!"
"Jax, I'm coming in!" and he's expecting to see Pomni trying her [JLZX]edest to 'crack his egg' as he so eloquently put it so long ago, or maybe Ragatha with her famous charm. But the porcelain face isn't unwelcome. He could probably use someone who'd just cry with him, instead of trying to get him 'better'. "So, Bunny, want to tell me why you ran out like that?" Gangle asks while standing in the doorway.
"Bunny? Someone's getting comfortable with me. I really should tell Ragatha about your figurine" Jax deflects. Gangle murmurs something under her breath, half of it sounding like a faint static, before closing the door.
"You can, if you think it'll help. So, let me take a shot in the dark--' she says while slinking onto the bed "and say you're caught on the Escape Adventure again?" He scoffs at her in response.
"Oh, you're a therapist now? Thought that was Pomni's shtick."
"I know all your diversions Jax. You're not getting out of talking that easily."
"What! When did you of all people grow a spine?" he shoots his arms out, half laughing at the absurdity. Gangle just cracks a small smile on her tragedy mask.
"You're still avoiding the question!" she giggles. A sincerely fond smile blooms on her face. "So, are you worried about how you'll never leave the circus, worried that you'll never get to change?" she says while patting his knee. He stares at her like she's speaking French.
"What kind of buzzword filled nonsense was that? You think you're gonna get my Tragic Backstory by speaking--" Gangle places her right ribbon on his chest.
"Daisy, is that why you retreated back into Jax?" Jax'-- Daisy's-- eyes dilate and he-- she-- jerks back like Gangle's ribbon was a knife. All she can do is awkwardly chuckle, until she speaks again. "Do you trust me to help you?"
"... Why are you being so nice to me? I've done nothing but make your life miserable."
"You are really good at deflecting, aren't you?" She raises her left ribbon in he air. "How many fingers am I holding up?" Daisy actually, truly laughs at this. She smiles, before pointing out that her ribbons don't have fingers. "Now, I need you to close your eyes and try again. Please?" and Daisy listens to her, for no reason she understands. Gangle grabs her left hand, fingers interlacing. Gangle tells her to count her fingers.
Daisy starts with the pinky, feeling how bizarrely fleshy it is. The nail is cleanly filed down, and the skin is well-lotioned. "One."
She then moves over to the ring finger, nail chipped slightly. A small papercut is on the right side, right below the first joint. "Two."
Daisy grabs her middle finger, smooth and calming. The nail is well treated, and there's a simple ring near the base. Her heart stops for just a second at the touch of it, a memory she can't quite remember right now. "T-Three."
She goes faster on the index finger, something bursting forth into her mind telling her to open her eyes soon. She finds a small patch of dry skin. "Four."
Daisy gets to the second index finger. Dahlia remembers. She remembers Martha holding her back as she ran for the button. She remembers Abigail taking charge helping everyone get settled after they finally escaped. She remembers her surprise at Axel volunteering to help Adam find a way to get Caine out of the circus too. She remembers-- "Five" Dahlia cries, teary eyed.
She rubs her thumb, enough that she can be certain that there are six fingers, no more and no less. "Six."
And Hanna grabs her hand. When Dahlia opens her eyes, the first thing she sees isn't a room designed for little girls, or Hanna's face. It's the matching rings on their hands. "Dahlia?" her voice wavers. It hurts her so much every time this happens. Dahlia raises her head to look her fiancee in the eyes.
"Hi Hanna. It was a bad one this time, wasn't it?" she smiles guiltily. Instead of answering, Hanna just grabs her by the head and pulls her in for a kiss.