Work Text:
There was a pterodactyl in the waiting room.
Foggy closed his eyes for a moment, opened them and looked again.
Yep. Pterodactyl. Reading a magazine.
This was why he preferred to come into the office before Matt did. Matt had a soft spot for weirdos. Foggy only had a soft spot for one weirdo.
“Oh, Matthew…” said Foggy, once he had closed the door to the waiting room.
“Dr. Karl Lykos,” Matt answered, leaning around the corner from the kitchen.
“You’re telling me he’s a doctor?” Foggy said, looking skeptically over his shoulder at the frosted glass door hiding the waiting area. “What kind of doctor? If this is a malpractice case…”
“Copyright infringement,” said Matt, “He’s being sued by the Tolkien estate for his use of the name Sauron.”
“Copyright infringement? Great, so he’s my client. …Wait, is this that guy who keeps trying to turn people into dinosaurs? Matt…” Foggy groaned and sidestepped Matt, heading for the coffee maker.
“I know,” said Matt, “he’s not an ideal client, but…”
“Not an ideal client? He’s a super villain!” Foggy snapped, nearly spilling the creamer he was pouring into his coffee.
“Not a very good one,” said Matt. “And he’s mostly an issue for the X-Men. Didn’t you want me to be more open minded about clients?”
“Yeah, but I meant… I don’t know, more rich assholes! Not dinosaur-man villains,” Foggy said.
“He’s a -“ Matt interrupted.
Foggy scowled. “Don’t say he’s not actually a dinosaur because pterodactyls weren’t dinosaurs, Matt, or I swear…”
“I was going to say he’s also a vampire. “
Foggy sighed. “Of course he is. You really don’t anticipate this guy being a problem?”
“Not one I won’t be able to deal with,” said Matt. He took a sip of his coffee, “He’s not going to turn his own lawyer into a dinosaur, Foggy.”
—
Technically speaking, Matt had been correct.
“How could you possibly think…” Foggy said, restraining his anger as best he could, given the circumstances, “that this would constitute payment for our services.”
“It is better than payment!” Dr. Lykos snapped his stupid beak at Foggy and shook the strange cannon-like device he had descended upon the office with, “I have elevated them away from mammalian weakness!”
Lykos indeed had not turned his lawyer into a dinosaur.
Unfortunately, the staff of Nelson & Murdock were not his lawyer.
Extremely unfortunately, neither was Matt.
Foggy just gave Lykos a flat look. Thankfully, the dinosaur-laser-cannon appeared to be out of battery. He wished he still had his jacket — he felt less intimidating without his whole suit on.
Behind the closed door of Matt’s office behind him, there was a distinct scrabbling and grunting of an enormous lizard trying to fit comfortably in a small room.
“Dr. Lykos. Is this really how you want to conduct yourself professionally?”
Lykos actually looked shamed for a moment.
“I won your case,” Foggy said, in his best cold, lawyer voice. It was somewhat undercut by his need to pull his briefcase away from the tiny, snapping jaws of a two-foot tall little creature that he was pretty sure was their intern. “So, you are going to pay your bill, turn everyone here back into humans, add an asterisk to your website confirming you are not associated with the Tolkien estate. And!”
Foggy held up one finger to interrupt the mutinous look of Lykos’s stupid dinosaur face.
“And. You are going to do this today. We represent way more heroes than just Daredevil, and I don’t think you want any of them involved.”
Lykos glared at Foggy for one more moment, then pulled out his phone. After a few clicks, Foggy’s phone buzzed with payment received.
“Good start,” said Foggy. “And the …”
He gestured around the half-wrecked office. The broken door to the waiting room where the ankylosaurus formerly known as Sam was trying to eat a plastic plant, and two of their clerks were chirping and fighting over a Tupperware of spaghetti.
“Er, I’ll need some time. My expertise is in turning people into dinosaurs, not turning dinosaurs into people,” said Lykos, vaguely.
Foggy grit his teeth, “Yeah? well in that case…” Foggy reached out and snatched the cannon from Lykos’s claws. “I’m keeping this until you add that to your expertise.”
Lykos squawked in anger, but then just slumped in defeat. “Fine. But don’t expect a good review on Google.”
Once Lykos had gone, Foggy took a deep breath and looked around the waiting room.
Sam was dragging the plastic plant across the carpet. Jenna was trying to burrow into the drywall. Laura and Hunter had gotten into the spaghetti and it was smeared all over the front desk, computer and carpet.
“That’s not food, Sammy,” said Foggy.
He dropped the cannon in the corner and headed to Matt’s office. He hadn’t actually seen much of the event. Just heard yelling, growling and then yelling that turned into roaring. All he saw of Matt was a lot of teeth before Foggy slammed the door and chased after Lykos.
Slowly and quietly, (not that quiet would do much to stop a Mattasaurus from hearing him) Foggy turned the knob to Matt’s office and peered in. Matt was seated on top of his destroyed office furniture and the exploded pieces of his suit, His desk was upturned and pushed aside, pens and paperclips spilling out in the floor. The remains of his Daredevil outfit was stretched around one enormous, dark red scaly leg like a sock.
Matt just snorted at Foggy when he entered, but didn’t make any move to get up.
“So, he’s not going to turn his lawyer into a dinosaur, huh, Matty?” Foggy said. “You idiot. And I’m not only saying that because your brain’s probably only about as big as a lima bean right now — if that. Actually, lima bean might be an upgrade for you.”
Matt just blinked in Foggy’s direction, then turned his head to chew at a spot on his back.
“Definitely an upgrade,” Foggy muttered. He looked Matt up and down. “What even are you? You look like a bootleg T-Rex from Dollar Tree. They accidentally put horns on and couldn’t afford the plastic to give you arms?”
Foggy chanced reaching a hand out to poke at one of Matt’s silly little arms. It was barely bigger than Foggy’s forearm. Matt twitched a little, but otherwise sat there, placidly.
“You better hope Lykos turns you back properly. You’re not going to be able to punch anyone with those…” Foggy said. He looked around the room and tried not to calculate the cost of replacing the furniture.
Speaking of furniture… “Hey, where’s my jacket? I think it was in here…” said Foggy, looking around. He’d left it draped on the back of Matt’s chair. The chair that was fully crushed under Matt.
“Aw, don’t tell me…”
Foggy peered around at what he could see under Matt. Sure enough, his jacket was there, just under Matt’s foot. Foggy grabbed a sleeve. If Matt shifted a little, Foggy could get the jacket out intact.
“C’mon, move your giant, stupid, lizard ass…” Foggy said. Matt didn’t move. In fact, when he noticed what Foggy was doing, he swung his enormous head to Foggy and snarled right in his face.
Foggy yelped and let go of the sleeve, barely avoiding falling on his own stupid ass.
“Matt, what the fuck!”
Matt grumbled and scratched at the jacket with his foot, possessively pulling it more underneath him (and shredding it with his claws as he did so) til it was completely out of Foggy’s reach. He settled down again, looking extremely satisfied.
“That was a $1500 jacket,” said Foggy, a little mournfully and a little more spitefully, “Though I guess you’re incapable of caring about anything I say… not like that’s exactly unusual.”
Matt didn’t react.
Foggy glared at Matt's giant stupid pea-brain head.
“I wish you listened to me. You know you should! Because every time you don’t, this is exactly the kind of stupid thing that happens! But no, Matt Murdock knows best. Hell, maybe I should ask Lykos to leave you like this. It’d be a hell of a lot less trouble for me.”
Foggy gestured around the room to his oblivious, saurian audience.
“It would keep you in one spot, you’re too big to leave the room! I’d always know where you are. No more running off putting yourself in danger. No more wild plans. A whole lot less idiocy in general.”
Matt just sat there, upsettingly docile.
“You — you don’t even know how much you really mean to me!” Foggy said, quietly and furiously, “and that’s … that’s probably for the best. Ha… the only track record worse than your ability to keep friends is your ability to keep… romantic partners.”
Foggy glanced at Matt again, who continued to just sit there on the remnants of an office chair. There was no reaction to anything Foggy was saying whatsoever. Foggy breathed a sigh of relief.
“… I know you’re not gay — or bi, or whatever — I’m not expecting anything. But you’re just so… oblivious! How can somebody who can hear heartbeats be such an idiot?” Foggy snapped.
Matt startled a little at his outburst and grunted loudly at him.
Foggy sighed and ran his hands through his hair, “And how pathetic can I be that I can only admit all this to you when you’re a giant lizard who doesn’t understand a word I’m saying?”
Foggy leaned against the wall and slid down til he was sitting on the ruined carpet.
“I’m being an idiot and I don’t even have the excuse of being a prehistoric monster dumb as a bag of hammers, huh?”
Matt apparently decided he was bored of Foggy and laid his enormous head on the broken desk to close his eyes.
Frankly, Foggy felt a little bored of himself too. He reached out and patted Matt’s dark red, scaly leg.
“At least Lykos’ money is going to pay to replace everything. But you’re not getting a new Eames chair. Call it an I-Told-You-So penalty.”
Matt just twitched his tail. Foggy sighed again, closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall. He wondered when Lykos would be back.
–
“I gave everyone the rest of the week off,” said Foggy, watching recently re-human-ed Matt push the destroyed furniture out of the way. “I figure they earned it. Plus, I think Sammy ate some of a plastic ficus.”
“I’m probably going to catch hell about that on our next patrol,” Matt said, brushing his hands off on the gym clothes he (along with the other transformed office mates) had been forced to change into.
“So he isn’t going to turn his own lawyer into a dinosaur, huh?” said Foggy.
“You’re really going to milk this, aren’t you?” said Matt.
“Hey, sometimes even Daredevil has to face the consequences of his actions.”
“I don’t think I should have reasonably expected to be turned into a dinosaur as a consequence, Foggy.”
“You should when that’s the whole big thing a client is known to do, but agree to disagree…” said Foggy. He eyed Matt, “So, do you… remember anything?”
Matt paused, “Hm, not really? Just Lykos bursting in and feeling … strange. But that’s about it until this morning.” Matt nudged his broken furniture. “My computer survived, but I’m going to be working on the floor for a while.”
Foggy snorted, “Well, I —“
“I know, I know,” Matt said, cutting him off, “you told me so, no-new-chair penalty…”
“I think it’s tough but fair,” said Foggy. Then he froze. When he said that, Matt had been…
“Wait, uh, wh- when did I say that?”
Matt paused and cocked his head towards Foggy’s suddenly racing heart.
“I thought you said it earlier? After Lykos left?” Matt said, slowly, looking a little perplexed.
Foggy thought quickly through his morning. Had he repeated it to Matt and just forgotten?
“Oh, right, right…” said Foggy. “Well, we better … get to work, right? Gotta … earn the money to replace everything that got eaten.”
Foggy turned sharply and fled before Matt could remember anything else.
—
“Foggy, what’s this?” said Matt, leaning into his office and holding up the shreds of fabric formerly known as Foggy’s jacket.
“Looks like another casualty of your terrible decision-making,” said Foggy, sighing and trying to not think of the $1500 Matt sent down the drain.
“Ah,” said Matt, squeezing the fabric between his fingers. His brow furrowed. “It was… comfortable. I liked the scent,” Matt said vaguely.
Shit. The last thing he needed was for Matt to remember everything Foggy said yesterday. He wasn’t prepared to discuss it sober, let alone while Matt was in a tank top and shorts.
“Well, it’s garbage now,” Foggy said, striding over quickly and taking the torn jacket from Matt’s hands.
Matt raised his eyebrows at Foggy.
“… Maybe you should go home early too, Matt,” Foggy said, slowly. “You’ve had a long day. Being a dinosaur. Stopping being a dinosaur.. Wearing shorts. You know.”
“… I am wearing shorts, yes,” said Matt, “but -“
“It’s fine, Matt. Just… go get some rest. Mammalian rest.”
Matt looked perplexed again, but before he could say anything, Foggy pushed past him and went out into the hallway to catch his breath in the men’s room.
—
Completely unsurprisingly, given Matt never did listen to Foggy, Matt did not go home. He did keep himself shut away in his office, which Foggy considered a small miracle. The more time between the present and Matt remembering what Foggy had said, the more time Foggy had to convince himself of an alternate explanation that wouldn’t immediately read as a lie to Matt’s hearing.
He hadn't noticed the day passing and jumped when Matt knocked on his door.
“Hey, it’s getting a little late,” said Matt from the door, “Do you want to get going? You’ve been here for what, 30 hours? We don’t have any more clients today.”
Foggy looked at his phone — 3pm.
“Uh… yeah, I guess so.”
Foggy should have been exhausted, but his spiking anxiety over his stupid confession had proven to be an incredible substitute for caffeine. He closed his computer and slid it into his briefcase. Matt was still lurking by the doorway and answered Foggy’s questioning hum.
“Do you think you would mind walking out with me? Things got a little … broken.” Matt held up the twisted remains of his cane.
Foggy couldn’t exactly refuse. Matt may have been comfortable leaping rooftops, but he still preferred to give himself a break when navigating the busy city sidewalks of a New York afternoon, never mind the keeping up of appearances. He would just need to make it quick.
Matt gripped Foggy’s upper arm and they made their way out to the street. He was unusually quiet for the first block, but then took a breath and spoke.
“Foggy. I’m…” Matt said, “I’m sorry. I should have listened to you.”
Foggy stared at Matt, “You’re actually apologizing?”
“Given we both know how rare it is, maybe let me finish?” said Matt, a little tiredly.
”Granted, proceed,” said Foggy.
“I should have listened to you. About Lykos. And about… a lot of other things, in general.”
Foggy just snorted.
“You said I should listen to you more…” Matt said, vaguely, “and… always knowing where I was. Is that right?”
“Um, maybe,” said Foggy, evasively. “It was a pretty crazy day. No need to force yourself to remember.”
Matt stopped walking, forcing Foggy to stop as well.
“I don’t really … remember what I remember,” said Matt.
He stood there in silence, brow furrowed.
“Matt?” Foggy said, after a few moments had passed.
“Foggy… yesterday… what else did you say?”
Matt’s hand slid down from gripping Foggy’s upper arm til it was around his forearm.
“Oh — I don’t know,” said Foggy. His pulse pounded in his ears. “Nothing important.”
“You sure?”
Matt’s hand was at his wrist now. Out of the corner of his eye, Foggy saw Matt’s expression. Concerned, guarded. He was waiting for Foggy’s reaction.
“Yep,” said Foggy.
Foggy turned his hand and let Matt entwine his fingers with his own. His palm was rough and warm.
“I’m sure.”
“… Okay,” said Matt.
Hands clasped together, they continued their walk down the street.