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Summary
She regrets all the jokes she made about Ava’s hands now. Not out of kindness, but insecurity. Sometimes, when Deborah imagines their secret being revealed, it’s the idea of someone connecting the dots that puts her the most on edge. Imagine if Marcus or Josephina or Jimmy figured out her fetish.
It was bad enough that Ava knew. She loved making Deborah squirm by joking about it around others. She always put on her most exasperated voice when she did it. “Sorry for knocking that over, it’s these ‘mannish’ hands of mine,” she would say, making eye contact. Everyone in her inner circle understood that it was a reference to Deborah’s insults. No one could know about how often she put them in her mouth before letting Ava touch her, even when the lube was next to them on the table.