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“His name is Alex,” J.J. says as they walk to their cars. “He’s a data analyst. I know he might not be your type but my friend says he’s really nice. And he’s gay.”
To be honest, he’s kind of grasping for straws here. J.J. doesn’t even know what Shane’s type is because Shane never gives him a clear answer.
“Do you like tall guys? Short guys? Athletic guys?” he had asked Shane once shortly after he came out because he was so damn curious.
Shane was never the type to talk much about his love life. Even when he was with the Rose Landry, he always seemed kind of uncomfortable discussing it. Now, J.J. understands why; it must have been pretty fucking annoying having to talk about dating women all the time when you’re not actually attracted to them.
He sort of assumed that with coming out, Shane would become more open to talking about it, but he still seemed just as hesitant. In response to J.J.’s question, Shane had just rolled his eyes and muttered, “Drop it, J.J.”
Obviously, this means that Shane doesn’t actually know what his own type is - how could he? He probably hasn’t had many people to talk about this stuff with and J.J is nothing but a supportive friend so he is determined to help Shane figure this out.
So far, it’s not going very well. The last time he tried to set Shane up with someone, the guy had the same name as Shane’s dad and Shane was understandably reluctant. J.J could barely believe he had made a mistake like that. Since then, he has been extra careful to make sure that doesn’t happen again. From now on, perfect candidates only!
J.J. even googled the different types of gay men so he could ask Shane about it. Apparently, there’s a whole pyramid of gay men, ranging from varying animal descriptions to words J.J. has never heard before. Like, what does ‘twink’ mean? And what the fuck is an otter in this context?
Even after his research, he was still lost. He tried to identify what type Shane would fit into but had little success. Shane was definitely too masculine and buff to be a twink, but he wasn’t big enough to be a bear either. In the end, J.J gave up, deeming the challenge impossible.
“Right,” Shane says dryly. “He’s gay, so that automatically means I’ll like him.”
J.J flushes. “I’m just saying! It would be good for you to get out there, you know? You deserve a nice man.”
Shane softens but doesn’t seem to take his guard down. He’ll need a little more convincing. “Thanks, man. But I’m not really looking for anyone right now.”
“Alright, Capitaine. If you say so. But you know if you ever change your mind, if you need someone to take you out, be your wingman or whatever… I’m right here.”
Shane smiles tightly, nods, and opens his car door, leaving J.J. alone to ponder.
Does Shane really not want a relationship? He recalls Hayden going on about a particular ‘Lily’ that Shane would see from time to time and they were certain that she he would eventually turn into a long term partner. But recently, Hayden’s been pretty quiet about Lily so J.J. assumes they broke things off.
That would be a shame, J.J. thinks. Shane is a great guy who deserves a loving relationship; he’s a good captain, funny when he wants to be, and a fucking amazing player. Who wouldn’t be into that?
Unless there’s someone Shane already has an eye for…
No, of course not. J.J. shakes his head at himself, feeling stupid for even considering that. Shane would have told him if there was. Right?
The next day is the second day of the summer camp and J.J. is finding himself enjoying it more than he thought he would.
Part of that is because of a certain someone leading the camp: Ilya Rozanov. J.J was initially surprised to learn that Shane was actually friends with the man, even after a decade-long rivalry, but he has mostly gotten over it now.
Well, he still thinks Rozanov is a fucking asshole but if Shane, of all people, can become friends with him, then he can’t be all bad. Plus, the kids enjoy his teaching and children are generally pretty good judges of character, so…
They’re running through drills and Rozanov is talking to the kids when J.J. takes the opportunity to properly look at his friend. It seems like today Shane has taken the backseat as a coach in terms of giving instructions, following his little difficulty from yesterday. Hollander might be an amazing player, but he’s unfortunately not an amazing coach.
Rozanov is clearly in his element, enjoying getting the children hyped and excited. They’re all hanging on to his every word, huddled around in a horse-shoe shape around him.
“Now, this is important,” Rozanov says, wearing a faux-serious expression. “When you skate back to the blue line, I want you to each do it five times more. You got that?”
“Yes!” the chorus of children exclaim.
“Because, why?”
“Practice makes perfect!” several of the kids repeat back the practiced phrase.
“Exactly!”
Rozanov is wearing a Montreal Voyageurs Stanley Cup Champions cap today which… was interesting at first. J.J. couldn’t originally tell what the overall motive was, to wear a cap of your rival’s success written all over it. Although, he had to hold back a laugh when Hayden arrived wearing an identical one and promptly took it off when he realised he would be matching with Rozanov. Then it became pretty clear that the aim was to piss Hayden off. That was something Rozanov did very well.
“Wow, Anna, your backhand is looking great,” Rozanov yells, doing a thumbs up. “You’re already better than Hollander!”
Anna giggles at the same time that Shane rolls his eyes.
“Stop saying that,” Shane grumbles. “My backhand is fine.”
“Just ignore him. He’s in denial. Is terrible,” Roz stage-whispers to the girl.
J.J. glances at his friend to gauge his reaction to a comment like that only to find that he actually doesn’t look bothered at all. In fact, if J.J. weren’t referring to Rozanov, he would confidently call Shane’s gaze fond. His lips are quirked up and his eyes are focused and warm, in a way that J.J. has never seen before. It feels oddly intimate and so fucking weird that he finds himself starting to look away.
It’s only when Shane turns around and chuckles quietly that J.J. fully notices the flush on his cheeks and the soft smile gracing his lips.
He can’t help but come to the horrific realisation—
Shane has a crush on Ilya Rozanov.
Holy shit.
***
For the rest of the day, J.J. stews with this information and considers his next steps.
On one hand, he is super surprised and kind of weirded out by Shane’s crush, not because Shane is in love with a man, obviously. J.J. would never be that bigoted but… seriously. Did it have to be Rozanov? Of all people? Shane could do so much better!
Not to mention, they haven’t even been friends for that long. To J.J.’s knowledge, Shane and Roz have been rivals for at least, like, 80% of their careers. How could Shane have developed feelings for someone he hated for so long? Unless he already had feelings for Rozanov in the past, which—
Wait a minute. That… kind of makes sense.
No wonder Shane was super hesitant to talk about his love life. J.J. would also keep it to himself if he had a fucking crush on Ilya Rozanov. And it’s not like they could date or anything anyway. He can’t even imagine; dating your rival? What a fucking scandal.
Plus even past his obvious beef, J.J. can admit that Rozanov isn’t entirely terrible. He’s objectively pretty handsome and (as much as J.J. hates to admit it) is extremely talented at hockey. It probably felt good for Shane to play against someone at his own level. J.J. grimaces. That’s kind of fucked up.
Across the ice, Shane catches his eye and smiles at him, immediately squashing any kind of thought he was having. J.J. grins and waves back, feeling a pit of guilt form in his stomach.
If this has been going on for a while, Shane must have been struggling through it all. It’s one thing to crush on your arch rival, and another thing completely for it to be a straight guy, someone who can’t love you back at all.
“Hey,” says Shane, skating over to J.J.’s side gracefully.
“Hey,” J.J. says back, trying to not think about Shane’s broken heart.
His face must betray him because Shane shoots him a concerned look. “You alright, man?”
Sweet, sweet Shane. He’s suffering from an unrequited love and instead of sulking about it he’s checking on J.J.? What a man, seriously.
J.J. wants to say something to Shane, something comforting, but then he suddenly catches the eye of a certain Russian across the ice.
Rozanov is glaring at them, looking weirdly disturbed by something in their direction. J.J. stalls. Has he done anything to offend the other man? He looks around to see if it could be anything near them but nope. Only Shane and J.J. are standing here.
He doesn’t think it’s directed at Shane, given he and Rozanov just helped a couple of kids improve their backhand passes for, like, thirty minutes together. J.J. and Shane are standing off to the side alone while Max and Leah work with a group at center ice and Wyatt and Price do.. something with a smaller group. And J.J. hasn’t done anything to piss Rozanov off, apart from talking to Shane and that usually wouldn’t—hold on.
Wait a fucking minute.
For some dumb fucking reason, J.J. feels the urge to try something. Just to check.
He reaches up behind Shane’s helmet and caresses the back of his neck and bottom hairs. To anyone watching, it could be a totally platonic and normal thing for two friends to do. Rozanov isn’t just anyone, though. And he definitely confirms it when, instead of looking away and continuing whatever he was doing, he skates over quickly with a fiery gaze and immediately tries to get Shane’s attention, breaking him and J.J. apart in seconds.
And then once Shane and Roz are chatting away, Rozanov extends his hand to the curve of Shane’s back, brushing against it briefly. Shane probably doesn’t feel anything through his gear and nobody probably sees the gesture but J.J. is sure it did the trick.
He examines the clear scene of possessiveness with wide eyes and a fast-beating heart.
Holy fucking SHIT.
Ilya Rozanov also has a crush. A crush on Shane Hollander.
***
It shouldn’t come as such a shock, really. Because suddenly everything about Rozanov and Shane’s dynamic makes so much sense. Every time Rozanov annoys Shane or says something stupid, he’s actually just trying to get Shane’s attention. Rozanov pulls on Shane’s pigtails until Shane relents and chirps at him back. Damn.
On one hand, it’s kinda cute. And it means that Shane won’t have to be so sad after all. But at the same time, it makes everything more complicated.
God, how could they even date? They’ve been rivals for almost a decade and friends for much less than that. No fucking wonder they’ve been quiet about it all this time. Jesus.
J.J. sighs. He wants Shane to be happy, so he impulsively decides something very dangerous and irresponsible:
He’s going to set Shane and Rozanov up.
When he gets home, he immediately turns to the internet for advice. Somehow, he falls onto several subreddits about crushes, deeming them all useless and making his own post. He has no trouble talking to people in real life, surely connecting with people online is the same, right?
r/Crushes • 1s ago
vinpour_jacquesHOW DO I SET UP MY FRIEND WITH HIS CRUSH?
So, one of my friends is gay. Recently I’ve noticed that he has a crush on a guy we both work with who I initially thought was straight but now I think he likes him back too ‘cause I’ve been watching them interact a lot. But it’s so fucking frustrating! All my friend says is things like “fuck off” or “asshole” and, like, I get that he’s kinda reserved and probably unlikely to take the lead. But we’ve all known each for many years and I’m starting to lose hope in his seduction abilities…
I’m hesitant to talk to him about it because he’s prone to spiraling and I’m afraid it might scare him. Also I wouldn’t talk to the other guy ‘cause we’re not super close and I don’t really like him that much, lol.
So I was wondering if there is any way I can try to get him to take charge or maybe get them to realize their feelings for each other?
↑ 246 ↓ 3 🗨 57
After posting his question, J.J. heats up some leftovers and catches up on his favorite show. Then, after nearly half an hour, he returns to his laptop.
He reads the top comment first.
SoobinsBigToe • 25 min ago
honestly it’s really hard to say cos idk ur friend but i would say maybe start off with some small steps? like try to get them to talk to each other more or get some time alone together?MaSirene_Satoru • 21 min ago
I was thinking the same! If the friend is reserved as you say then he probably needs to get more comfortable with his crush to do anything yet tbh
“That’s probably true,” J.J. says, as if they can hear him from behind his laptop. He keeps the advice in mind while he keeps scrolling.
Im_the_baddest • 24 min ago
dude ur friend is gay and has known this guy for years and theyre still not fucking? i dont think he actually likes him lolYa0ifreak • 22 min ago
thats what i was gonna say lmaoo either theyre already cracking on the dl or just genuinely arent gayDontevenASk • 12 min ago
I was thinking the same thing like wtf.MegTheeLesbian • 9 min ago
These replies are actually leaving me speechless… You guys know that not all gay guys are the same, right? Just because he’s gay doesn’t mean that he sleeps with guys immediately after meeting them. And if he’s reserved like op said, then obviously he’s going to be hesitant. Stop enforcing negative stereotypes about gay men omfg
J.J. blows out a breath, equally as astounded and grateful for the recent commenter. “Exactly.”
How could they talk about Shane like that? Those stereotypes are disgraceful. Plus it’s not Shane’s fault he has no game!
lucaismybae • 22 min ago
If you don’t like your friend’s crush then why are you even trying to get them together? Just set him up with someone elseRozdefender12 • 5 min ago
tbf i hate my brother in law but somehow he makes my sister really happy so i still support their relationship. hes not like abusive or anything, just really annoying. so yeah. it happens lol
He furrows his brow. As much as J.J. has disliked Rozanov over the years, he doesn’t actually harbor any genuine hatred for the man. And he does want Shane to be happy so if Rozanov is what it takes, then tant pis.
BabywithPear • 19 min ago
I agree with the comment about baby steps. If your friend can’t do it himself, try to make them in contact with each other subtly. You can always make them sit next to each other at restaurants or do funny games that make them hold hands or something, haha.twcemina • 14 min ago
Omg heavy on the hand thing!! My friend used to get me and my crush to compare hand sizes just so we’d have to hold hands. It was so stupid but it actually worked >.<
“Huh.” J.J. leans back in his seat.
The hand thing could work. He needs to get Shane and Rozanov to actually touch each other other than just clapping each other on the back or touching each other as a joke.
He chooses to reply to the last reply.
twcemina • 15 min ago
Omg heavy on the hand thing!! My friend used to get me and my crush to compare hand sizes just so we’d have to hold hands. It was so stupid but it actually worked >.<vinpour_jacques • 1 min ago
It worked?? How? What happened after you two held hands?twcemina • 1 sec ago
Nothing much happened but we both sort of realised that we enjoyed the contact and started seeking it out in other ways. But you can also make them do other stuff. Like driving each other home, buying each other food/drink, giving each other compliments, etc. Up to you!
Wow. Reddit is actually much more helpful than he originally thought it would be.
Before J.J. falls asleep, he mentally jots down all of the things he needs to get Ilya and Shane to do:
— Hold hands
— Be alone together
— Buy each other a drink
— Drive each other home
— Give each other compliments
Shouldn’t be too hard, right?
The next day after camp, J.J. finds an opening.
J.J. and the other players are walking down the sidewalk, Wyatt to his left and Hayden to his right. The other three are following closely behind. He takes out his phone and calls Shane, who picks up on the third ring.
“Hollander, what the fuck are you doing right now?” He feels a strange sense of déjà vu for some reason.
A pause, then some rustling. “Oh…Um… I’m uh… rearranging my pillows.”
Weird.
“Well, stop fucking doing that and get your ass down here!”
On the other line, he can hear Shane huff. More rustling. “I.. J.J., what—”
“We’re all in Montréal together, baby! It’s time to fucking celebrate. Drinks on me! You remember that restaurant of my buddy François?”
“I think I do?”
“Fantastic. We’re all heading there now so hurry the fuck up!” He pauses and glances around, counting only five other coaches other than himself. “Well, apart from Rozanov. I can’t get a hold of him. But I think Wyatt is gonna call him.”
“Oh, that’s great, but J.J…”
J.J. cuts him off before he can properly decline. “Alright, see you there, friend!” It’s been fucking ages since they hung out properly, he’s not gonna let Shane stay home this time. Especially when he has a mission to carry out.
***
As expected, the restaurant is still as beautiful as it was the last time he was here.
The bar is lively as ever, with couples occupying the stools and patrons engaged in various conversations in the booths. Pretty orange lamps surround the tables and sparkly yellow lights glisten against the walls.
Ryan Price and Wyatt Hayes are sitting across from him on one of the tables near the entrance after having been cornered along with everyone else into a lively conversation about the loss of proper menus at restaurants.
“I mean, I guess? QR codes are more practical.” Ryan shrugs. “I dunno, I haven’t thought about it much.”
Wyatt nods. “I can’t say I’ve thought about it either,” he says, “but yeah, like if my phone works fine and the website makes sense, I don’t really mind.”
“Dude, if you had kids you would not be saying that.” Hayden sighs. “QR codes in restaurants are the worst invention for parents since parent Whatsapp groups were invented.”
J.J. raises his eyebrows.
Hayden continues, gesturing wildly at the table. “With kids menus, all they would do for thirty minutes was draw on them, fold them, scrunch them, whatever the fuck. Ruby fucking loved playing with those menus. Now there’s nothing for them to do until the food gets there. It’s a fucking nightmare.”
“Can’t you just give them iPads?”
Hayden locks eyes with J.J. and gives him a long, withering look. “You know how Jackie feels about screen time. When hell freezes over, maybe.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Shane’s voice filters in from the entrance and J.J. looks up. Shane walks towards their table, his hands in his pockets, wearing a pale blue shirt and black pants. Rozanov follows closely behind, wearing a black tank top and some cuffed jeans.
“Hey, Hollander.”
“Hey, guys!”
“Hey, Roz!”
“Welcome!”
Wyatt smiles at them. “We’re talking about QR codes at restaurants.”
Roz immediately smiles knowingly and slides in next to Wyatt. “Ah, this will be good.”
Shane’s face scrunches up and he pulls a chair next to J.J. He begins to speak with certainty, as if he has already had this conversation before. “I just don’t get the need for them. Like, if normal menus were working fine before, why change them?”
J.J. nods. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
“Exactly. Also not every restaurant uses QR codes so you don’t even know when you’re gonna be able to have a peaceful dinner or have to use your phone for half of it. It’s awful.”
“Wow.”
“I didn’t know you were so opinionated about this,” Wyatt teases.
Rozanov grins. “Shane has many opinions.”
“It’s not even that, it’s just… I don’t know.”
“What do you think, Ilya?” Max asks.
He hums. “This QR code drama has not affected me much. I don’t really go to restaurants.”
“You don’t? Why?”
He shrugs. “I am too busy being best hockey player in the league, of course. And I would rather support my local chains with cheap prices.”
Shane rolls his eyes. “He’s talking about fast food.”
Rozanov looks at Shane and smiles. “As long as bars stay the same, I am good.”
J.J. brightens. “Speaking of bars, who wants another drink?”
A chorus of voices pipe up.
“I might have another beer.”
“I’m good, thanks!”
“Can you get me a gin & tonic?”
Rozanov makes eye contact with J.J. and, seemingly registering the overwhelming array of demands, says, “I’ll come with you.”
It’s kinda weird, J.J. thinks, as they walk towards the bar together, to be alone with Rozanov. Usually, Shane or Hayden are there to act as a mediating force so it never feels too awkward. But now that he is by himself with Rozanov with the knowledge that Shane has feelings for him and that he has those feelings back, the silence between them is unbearable. Luckily, J.J. is an expert at filling silence.
Next to him, Rozanov looks completely comfortable in J.J.’s presence. He is slightly slumped forward in his seat with his elbows on the table in front of him, wearing a soft smile. The bartender approaches them wearing a name tag with ‘Steve’ on it.
“What can I get for you guys?”
“Can we get four beers, a vodka coke, a gin & tonic and uh…”
“A ginger ale, please,” Rozanov says.
“Coming right up.” Steve smiles.
J.J. turns to Rozanov, stunned.
“You drink ginger ale too?” If he did, J.J. would be really surprised. That’s basically all Shane drinks. They would be confirmed soulmates if that was the case.
Rozanov blinks. Then he promptly bursts out laughing. “God, no! Who do you think I am?”
Ah.
“It’s for Shane, obviously.”
“Right,” J.J. huffs, a smile slowly stretching across his face. “I should have guessed. That’s his signature drink.” It doesn’t miss J.J.’s notice that Roz is ordering Shane a drink without asking. Cute.
Roz’s under eyes crease from how much he’s smiling. “His signature drink. Yes.”
“And I guess,” J.J. turns to face the other man, “your signature drink would be, what? Vodka?”
“Hah, you know me so well, Boiziau.” Rozanov taps his fingers along the edge of the wooden table top. “But not just any vodka.”
“Really fucking expensive Russian vodka?”
“Of course.”
J.J. hums and says, unprompted, “I don’t have a signature drink myself. I’m actually not too picky with drinks, you know? My first drink was probably rum or some type of cider. But then I kind of experimented as I got older. It’s good to be adventurous, right?”
The other man nods, regarding him with vague amusement.
“Boiziau,” Rozanov says, looking serious. “Has anyone ever told you that you talk a lot?”
J.J. barks out a laugh. “Once or twice.” More than that, actually. Especially after drinking. He always becomes a talking machine when he has alcohol. “But… you know. It’s my charm.”
“Ah well, we all need our charm.”
“Oh yeah? What’s your charm?”
Rozanov smirks. “Being an asshole, probably.”
He nods sagely. “Makes sense. Shane always calls you an asshole.”
For a second, Rozanov stares at him with a strange look that J.J. can’t decipher. “Yeah. He does.”
Before J.J. can open his mouth and say something next, Steve hands them both a tray of drinks that they carry back to their table. They walk back in silence and J.J. can’t help but wonder if he said the right thing.
He’s not usually the type to overthink much but this is a serious mission and if he manages to fuck up Shane’s love life by somehow spooking Rozanov, he will never forgive himself.
Just as they approach the table, he can hear the distant conversation. He’s too far to identify the speakers.
“What are you even fiddling with?” One speaker asks.
“Uh, I dunno. It’s just some piece of paper I found,” someone responds.
“Is it a receipt?” A third speaker joins.
“Maybe. Oh, look. It says it’s for IGR.” Max’s face scrunches up in confusion. “What’s that?”
“Ah, that would be mine,” Rozanov says, sliding into the booth, next to Shane this time. Hm.
“Oh, shit, your initials are IGR?” Hayden hands the paper back to its owner.
Rozanov raises one eyebrow. “You are surprised?”
“I don’t know, I guess I thought your initials would be something used everyday like ‘IKR’ or ‘IDC’.”
Shane’s face contorts into a frown. “Why would it be ‘IDC’? ‘Rozanov’ begins with an R. It doesn’t even have a C in it.”
“Sorry to disappoint, Pike.” Roz grins cheerfully.
“What’s your middle name, then?” Wyatt asks.
“What do you think?”
The question lulls the group into pensive silence. They sit for a couple of seconds in thought. Then Hayden places his beer in front of him on the table and offers the first (and last) suggestion.
“What about ‘Ilya… Gerald Rozanov’?”
“Now why the fuck would his middle name be Gerald?”
“I don’t know!” Hayden squeaks, holding his hands up in défense. “It was the first name I could think of!”
Ilya laughs loudly into his hand, enjoying the sudden attention to his name even if some of the suggestions are a little dense.
Shane rolls his eyes. “This is so stupid. Ilya doesn’t even really have a middle name.”
The whole table turns in his direction, J.J. included. Rozanov lifts an eyebrow at him and Shane then seems to realise what he just said, immediately flushing red like a tomato.
Shane stammers, wide-eyed. “I mean—well—”
“Is true.” Ilya confirms, nodding. “My middle name is actually Grigoryevich, from my father’s first name.”
Wyatt huffs good-naturely. “Yeah, I definitely wouldn’t have guessed that.”
Several voices chuckle in agreement, seemingly quelling the very obvious panic written across poor Shane’s face.
“But I did not know that our Hollander is so knowledgeable with Russian middle names.” Roz teases.
Aaand Shane’s blush is back.
“Oh. Um. Well, I’m not, really. I just know that because I read a lot about Russian middle names because…uh… they’re interesting and I don’t know… They’re quite different from western last names, especially traditional ones…” It kind of feels like J.J. is witnessing one of Shane’s worst fears firsthand; he’s tripping over his words, in a desperate attempt to hide his past secret internet venture in front of everyone. “And, it’s good to, like, research that stuff.”
J.J. holds in a scoff at the blatantly obvious excuse. Like. Sure, man. It’s totally normal to research the naming system of your competitor’s home country because it’s ‘interesting’.
Jeez, Shane is not subtle at all.
Neither is Rozanov, actually. He’s staring intently at his rival, watching him stutter with a soft smile on his face and his chin in his fist. J.J. guffaws. How have neither of these fools realised yet? Tut tut tut. It’s a good thing he’s here to get them together.
“And that’s why you’re the fucking best, Capitaine.” J.J. smacks the table space in front of where Shane is sitting. “Very interested in names. You know he asked me once which one of my parents named me when I told him my full name?”
“I was just curious!”
J.J. cackles. “He also wanted to know where my name was from. So full of questions.”
“Mhm.” Roz smirks. “Mr. Journalist.”
Shane smacks Rozanov’s arm in response.
“So,” Leah says, “what is the story behind your name?”
He shrugs. “I mean, Jean Jacques is pretty common in France and Haiti. But I have not met many Jean-Jacques in Quebec.” He smiles lazily. “It is a mystery still, I guess.”
After that, the conversation moves on to various topics. At some point, Ryan leaves early to go spend time with his boyfriend, which no one could protest because, honestly, good for him. J.J. hasn’t personally met his boyfriend but from what he has heard, Fabian is pretty cool. Rozanov and Shane talk a little bit together but mostly keep a relatively normal distance, which J.J. finds disappointing. He tries to get them closer in several ways — he forces them to collect more drinks together, he encourages them to bring up mutual memories, and even makes them compare hand sizes — with little success. They don’t even blush when he makes them touch hands. Even though the internet insisted that it would work!
Several hours and at least five beers later, J.J. knows he only has one more chance to make this work.
He’s halfway slumped over the table when Shane stands in front of him, appearing like a guardian angel, offering to help him get back.
“Hey, I’ll drive you back to your house.”
Honestly, being dropped off sounds great. He’s several beers in and can’t be bothered to find himself a cab or walk back himself. But he has an important plan to complete, so he resists the temptation to accept the offer.
J.J. lifts his head off the table and shakes his head. “No! You drive Rozanov.”
Shane lifts one eyebrow, chuckling slightly. “I can drive you both.”
No, he can’t, because for this whole thing to work, Shane needs to be completely alone with Rozanov. He can’t intrude on that. Plus, J.J. doesn’t really want to be in the same car with Roz if he can help it.
“Nan… Nan! Il faut que tu conduise Roz…”“Nooo... No! You need to drive Roz...”
Shane looks at him with an amused expression and laughs at him again. “Wow, you are so fucking drunk.”
He’s right. As well as slurring his speech, J.J. always manages to slip into French when he is properly wasted.
“Come on, man. We’re taking you back.”
So, his attempts last night failed.
J.J. drags his hands down his face and groans.
Fuck, why did he get so drunk? He can’t even remember if he asked Shane and Rozanov any good questions. That was the whole fucking point! And unfortunately it doesn’t seem like anything romantic happened last night; they’re behaving the exact same as before.
Since arriving at the rink (within ten minutes of each other) Shane and Rozanov have kept at least two meters between them at all times, only speaking in little quips or tiny chirps. It’s fucking infuriating to watch.
Now they’re getting ready for their fourth day of coaching and J.J. is anxiously awaiting the end of the Montréal camp. When will he get another opportunity like this? He needs to make the most of his time. It’s a shame that Shane and Rozanov are intent on making this as difficult as possible for him.
“You know,” Wyatt cuts in through their bickering, shrugging one shoulder, “if you guys can’t keep your rivalry at bay in front of the kids, you can always just keep some distance from each other. You don’t have to do this.”
“I am not doing anything.” Rozanov blinks, the exact image of innocence. “It is Hollander, he is antagonising me.”
Shane’s head whips around. “Fuck off, I am not antagonising you. And who even taught you that word?”
Rozanov opens his mouth to bark back but Wyatt holds out a hand between them, chuckling slightly. “Alright, alright. Come on, guys. Let’s set up.”
J.J.’s ears stir and he strolls over quickly. This is his opening!
“Uh… Why don’t Hollander and Rozanov collect the gear out of storage today? Give ourselves a little break, eh?”
Shane’s eyebrows are burrowed and Wyatt is less than convinced. “It’s fine, I don’t actually mind—”
“Eh, eh, Hollander, why don’t you get the mini-nets and those little black stickhandling trainer thingies with Rozanov?” He winks at the pair. “We will do the rest.”
J.J. widens his eyes manically at Shane and hopes his expression can convey his message telepathically. Come on, man. Just do it. I’m helping you here.
Whether Shane gets the message or not, he and Rozanov head to the equipment room, leaving some of the other coaches behind.
Hayden appears next to J.J., tilting his head in the direction they went in.
“What was that all about?”
J.J. blinks. “Oh, just you know. Shane and Roz went to the storage room. Maybe they will bond over training equipment. Will fix their rivalry.”
Hayden huffs and shakes his head. He mumbles, “Like they need any more bonding.”
J.J.’s eyebrows shoot to the roof. Was that a sly comment hinting at Rozanov and Shane having feelings for each other? Woah. Hayden sure is perceptive!
“You know as well?”
“Huh?” Hayden glances at him. “Know about what?”
“You know… Hollander and Rozanov like each other.” J.J. wiggles his eyebrows.
“Uh—”
“I know about them as well. I am trying to set them up, actually.” He figures that Hayden can be trusted with this, especially if he also noticed Shane and Roz’s feelings.
Hayden shares at J.J. like he’s just admitted to committing murder. “By ‘set them up’, you mean…”
Clearly Hayden is trying to be subtle about it but J.J. has actually been aching to talk to someone about this. It feels like a dam has burst within him, letting all of the words out.
“I know what you are thinking, ‘how could they ever be together?’ But, brother, trust me. Shane and Rozanov make so much sense. Especially since he moved to Ottawa, when we all thought ‘whaaat??’ but it’s actually perfect! They live so close to each other now!”
“Right, uh,” Hayden coughs awkwardly, “the thing is—”
“And Shane deserves a nice relationship, you know? Sometimes I worry about him. He is so rigid, always staying home, not partying. I was so happy when he came out to drinks last night. You know he drove Rozanov home too? What a gentleman.”
Hayden nods, wide-eyed. “Yeah. Totally.”
J.J. smiles, pleased to see that another one of Shane’s friends is looking out for him. “So how long have you known?”
“Uh… Not—not that long, um. I guess.”
“Hm.” He nods. “Same as me, then.”
J.J. leaves that conversation feeling a little lighter, even if Hayden looked oddly awkward throughout it all. Whatever. He’ll come around.
***
Later, J.J. doesn’t even get to isolate Shane and Rozanov again because Shane is already narrowing his eyes and dragging J.J. to one of the storage cupboards himself.
“Hey, J.J. Can you come check something with me real quick?” His voice is clipped and his mouth is drawn into a hardened line.
“Eh? What is it?”
“Doesn’t matter. Come with me.”
J.J. is tense the whole way there. It sort of feels like he’s in trouble.
“What are you doing,” Shane hisses, closing the door behind him.
“Euh… Heh, whatever do you mean?”
“This,” Shane says, waving a hand between them, gesturing at J.J. “Your weird scheming. I mean, did you not think I saw you trying to get us to hold hands, making me drive Ilya home, then whatever today was—trying to stuff us into a storage cupboard?”
J.J. stills. Shane had noticed all of that?
“Like, is this a prank or something? I thought you didn’t even like him, so I don’t know why you suddenly want me to be so buddy-buddy with Ilya—”
“‘Buddy-buddy’!?” J.J. cries. “It was supposed to be romantic!”
“What are you talking about?”
J.J. sighs. He supposes the cat is out of the bag now. “Listen, I know about… everything.”
“Everything…” Shane says slowly.
He clarifies, in French: “I know you have feelings for Rozanov.”
Shane’s eyes widen. “I — what—”
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. I’m not judging you or anything—I mean, well… I am judging a little. I can’t pretend I was particularly happy about it, obviously. You could do way better—”
Shane interrupts him in a small voice, looking a little panicked. “Is it… is it obvious?”
J.J. blinks, registering the anxiety on Shane’s face. It hadn’t been his intention to stress Shane out or make him worry about this. He chooses his next words very carefully. “Uh… well, I’m not saying that anyone else has noticed but not much gets past me, you know? I’ve seen the way you look at him. There’s nothing platonic about that gaze, my friend.”
Shane says nothing and turns his gaze to the floor.
“But you know.” He shrugs. “Not everyone is as observant as me.”
Shane hums and glances back at J.J. “You really won’t tell anyone?”
“Nobody, I promise. Personne. T’inquiète.”“Nobody, I promise. No one. Don’t worry.”
That seems to placate Shane and he smiles. “You’re weirdly collected about this. It must have all been a bit of a shock.”
Understatement of the fucking year.
“A bit of a shock? I couldn’t fucking believe it!” J.J. shakes his head. “Like, I get that he’s attractive, but come on! That guy is annoying as fuck.”
Shane finally laughs and J.J. grins.
It’s time to tell him the full truth. “But the good news is, I think Rozanov likes you too.”
Shane’s head whips back up at him, stunned. “What?”
“You have not noticed? Dude is fucking whipped.”
Hollander is completely speechless, staring at him blankly so J.J. feels the need to continue.
“Like, I got that you guys like each other but he is super fucking possessive. I kid you not, when I was hugging you earlier I thought he was gonna rip my head off!”
“Oh, my God.”
“And even Hayden could see it! He can’t even keep track of where all of his kids are but he still noticed the massive boner Rozanov has for you. And I think he was pretty impressed by my amazing plan to get you two together, like—”
“Wait,” Shane holds his palm up in front of him, “all the weird stuff you’ve been doing, that was you trying to set me and Ilya up?”
“Yeah.”
“Like, as a couple?”
“…Yeah.”
“Christ.” Shane drags a hand down his face.
J.J. waits a few seconds, until he notices Shane’s shoulders bouncing up and down.
“Wait, fuck! Mon dieu, are you crying?” J.J. rushes over to Shane, who still has his face covered. “Shit, man, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I wasn’t trying to be weird, I promise. I know it hurts to love someone who doesn’t love you back, I wanted to help—”
“Fucking relax,” Shane says, lifting his head to reveal his smile. Oh, he was laughing, not crying. Thank fuck. “I’m not crying, I’m just… Wow, fuck. That’s… wow. I can’t believe this.”
J.J. winces. “Yeah, my bad—”
“No, no,” Shane waves a hand between them. “Don’t apologise. Just.. um.”
He stares at J.J. for a few seconds, as if he’s debating on a really difficult decision.
“Wait here,” Shane instructs, swiftly leaving J.J. alone, bewildered.
He doesn’t even get long enough to process it all before Shane is back, having brought Rozanov with him.
“So,” Shane says, glancing back and forth between J.J. and Rozanov, “I have something to say. Or, well, technically me and Ilya have something to say. Or, actually me and J.J. have to tell you. But it’s really kind of to do with us as a cou—”
“Just get to the point, Hollander,” Rozanov interrupts.
J.J. nods. Someone had to say it.
“Uh, that’s fair, okay.” Shane exhales and glances up at Rozanov. “So… J.J. sort of discovered that um… I like you.”
J.J. splutters, panicked. “Dude, what the fuck!? Don’t do this in front of me!”
Shane just ignores his comment and clears his throat, grimacing. “And he also thinks that you like me too.”
J.J.’s eyes grow as wide as saucers. Is he seriously doing this now? Right here??
There are so many different ways and places he could be doing this confession. At a bar, at a candle-lit restaurant, at one of their respective homes, literally anywhere else. J.J. could list at least twenty better spots. He could even enlist Reddit to help him again, for fucks sake.
Rozanov looks shocked too but not as surprised as J.J. would have expected.
“And, uh…” Shane glances at J.J.
“Can’t help you with this, buddy,” he tells him in French.
“Right.” Shane nods. “I think we should maybe tell each other the truth now?”
What an odd way to phrase it, J.J. thinks. Shane is so awkward.
For some reason, Rozanov makes his eyes go really wide, a perfect picture of innocence. “Well, this is news to me.”
“Fuck off,” Shane grumbles. “This isn’t funny.”
“Is kind of funny.”
J.J. is officially lost. “Uh… what’s happening?”
Rozanov smirks and raises his eyebrows at Shane. “Hollander, you want to do the honours?”
Shane rolls his eyes and huffs. “I have to say everything in this relationship.”
J.J. frowns. “What do you—”
“J.J.,” Shane sighs, “me and Ilya are together. We’re actually a couple.”
“What.”
“I’m sorry for not telling you. It’s a really big secret, as you can imagine. And I did not want to tell you this way—”
“Sorry,” J.J. interrupts, hitting his ear with his palm. “I think I just had an auditory hallucination. You’re a what?”
Rozanov glances between them, looking like he’s having the time of his life. Shane just looks mildly apologetic.
“You’re together? Like, for real? You’re not fucking with me?”
“Yes,” Roz huffs, starting to look annoyed. “Do we need to say it five more times so you understand?”
“I got the internet to help me with this,” J.J. says, staring wide-eyed at the couple—couple!!—in front of him. “I went on Reddit for you. What the fuck.”
“Boiziau, nobody asked you to do that.”
“Well, I did it because I cared, what the hell!” J.J. flings his arms up in anger. “I can’t believe you. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because he knew you would react so well, clearly,” Rozanov says dryly.
“Ilya,” Shane scolds.
“Alright,” J.J. sighs. There’s no point in having this conversation if he can’t calm himself down. Shane is still his best friend, and best friends are there for each other. “I don’t want to be mad with you, Hollander. But just tell me… how long has this been going on?”
Shane and Rozanov exchange a glance. There’s a long silence. Then, the faint sound of Shane mumbling something.
J.J. leans closer. “Hein ? I didn’t hear you.”
“Si’s ruk’ sizn.”
“What?”
“…Since rookie season.” Shane ducks his head bashfully, his cheeks the couleur of raspberries.
J.J. gasps. “Tabarnak, since rookie season!?” That’s longer than he’s known Shane!
“Hey!” Roz pipes up, affronted. “Since summer before.”
Shane glares at him, gradually turning more and more into a tomato each second. “Do you seriously have to say that every time? The details don’t matter.”
“It matters to me,” Ilya says, pouting. “It is important for dear J.J. to know I have loved you for a long time.”
A soft smile breaks across Shane’s face at that.
J.J. feels like his brain is about to fizzle into a pile of dust.
Then, Rozanov leans in and kisses Shane on the cheek. Now J.J. really feels like he’s gonna combust.
“Holy fuck,” he swears, looking at the pair, “this is so weird.”
Roz turns to him, his eyebrows furrowing and jaw hardening into a frown. If he was a dog, he’d be baring his teeth, for sure. “Boiziau, I swear, if you—”
“Fucking relax, man.” A laugh bubbles up J.J.’s throat. He holds his hands up in surrender. “I just spent the whole week trying to set you two up. It is not a problem with me, promise.”
“I still can’t believe you did that,” Shane says.
The leash around Rozanov’s neck loosens and he nods, partially agreeable. “Okay, but if you do anything to Hollander, I’ll—”
“You will kill me, got it.”
“No, I was going to say I will take your hockey stick, impale you and then hang you from rink banner using the hockey stick.”
J.J. scrunches his face up in a disgusted grimace. That was way gorier than he thought it would be. Fucking hell.
Shane has a similar reaction. He huffs, looking every bit disappointed as he sounds. “Jesus, Ilya. Seriously.”
“What?” Roz protests, sounding genuinely confused by their reactions. “It’s my responsibility to protect what’s mine, no?”
Shane rolls his eyes in a show of annoyance but his expression is entirely fond.
***
Later, J.J. sees them catch each other’s eyes across the ice, exchanging thousands of words in one look. He sees them rush excitedly from the rink, hopping into the same car like a pair of impatient teenagers. He sees them arrive the next morning, with flushed cheeks and effusive smiles, bickering like an old married couple.
He sees them, happily in love, and thinks, Ah, I get it now.