Chapter Text
Veronica and JD parked in the target parking lot while waiting for Heather Duke and Heather McNamara to come. When everyone finally arrived they entered the target."Where should we go first?" Heather asked.
"I'm going to the book section." Heather said while walking off.
"I'm going to the cleaning section." JD replied.
"Cleaning section?" Heather and Veronica asked at the same exact time.
JD didn't answer, instead he walked towards the back of the store where the cleaning supplies were located. "I'm going to get Starbucks." Heather told Veronica. Veronica nodded and followed JD to make sure he didn't do anything destructive.
"YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Veronica yelled when she saw JD stuffing the cart with drain cleaner.
"What's wrong? We can pour some big blue into their Starbucks drinks." JD suggested with a mischievous smile.
"I SAY NO!" Veronica screamed.
Meanwhile a target worker overheard the yelling and screaming and decided to check on the customers. "Hey is everything alright-" Martha began to say before noticing it was her best friend and her suspicious boyfriend. "Uhhhhhh why do you have so much drain cleaner." She asked.
"Hey Martha! The erm drain just broke at my house and we uh needed to fix it." Veronica replied with a fake smile.
"Hmmmmm, you sure you're not going to pour this into Heather McNamara and Heather Dukes Starbucks drinks." Martha questioned.
How the hell does she know my plan? JD thought to himself. "No, why would we do that?"
"Oh well, have fun shopping I suppose." Martha said as she walked away.
Veronica grabbed the drain cleaners and began to put them back on the shelf. "No killing anyone JD! We're not special, we're not different. We don't choose who lives or dies." Veronica sang until being interrupted by the loudspeaker.
~~~
"HELLO TARGET SHOPPERS." The woman on the loudspeaker yelled.
"Oh nooooo." Heather groaned since she recognized the voice.
"Deep inside of everyone, there's a hot ball of shame. Guilt, regret, anxiety, fear we dare not name, but if we show the ugly parts that we hide away. They turn out to be beautiful by the light of day. Why not shine a light!!! That's why I'm selling flashlights in the front of Target! And also therapy!" Mrs Flemings yelled.
"Someone just kill me already." Heather said as she grabbed a book off the shelf and dropped it into her cart.
Heather continued shopping until she heard three familiar voices from a nearby aisle. At first she was concerned and confused but soon decided to investigate.
"H-H-H-H-H-H-H-HEATHER?!" Heather screamed out of shock and surprise. In front of her were the ghosts of Heather, Kurt, and Ram.
"Hello Heather, long time no see." Heather said while floating over to Heather. Heather pulled the scrunchie out of Heather's hair and secured it back onto her own. "How dare you take my signature scrunchie, Heather. Red looks much better on me."
"H-H-H-H-H-H-H-How are you here?" Heather asked while stuttering... a lot.
"I don't actually know." Ram replied. "We kind of just got murdered and then we-"
"MURDERED? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?!" Heather replied looking at Heather, Kurt, and Ram.
"Nah, psycho trench coat kid and Ronica killed us." Kurt continued.
Heather was in scrambles., "WHAT!? WHY WOULD JD AND VEROMICA KILL YOU?! AM I NEXT?!"
Heather flew past Heather with a mischievous smile. "Maybe..." Heather told Heather which shocked Heather, causing Heather to faint. Then the red traffic light Heather threw up causing Heather to also faint which I'm not sure how possible considering Heather's dead.
Suddenly Heather heard all the chaos (which the dinosaurs) and ran over to the aisle with her starbies.
"Oh hi Heather! Wait, why are you passed out?!" Heather questioned Heather. Out of nowhere Heather woke up and jumped Heather.
"HEATHER! I MUST BE GOING CRAZY! I JUST SAW HEATHERKURT, AND RAMS GHOSTS AND THEY TOLD ME VERONICA AND JD KILLED THEM." Heather screamed at the top of her lungs so the whole target could hear.
"Wow, what a cool story 😄"
~~~
Meanwhile outside Regina George was going to grab some makeup for the spring fling next month. Secretly she wanted to light up the target and watch it explode. She stepped through the automatically open doors.
"HEY! DO YOU WANT FLASHLIGHTS AND THERAPY?!" A ginger haired woman screamed in her face.
"no, ew" Regina replied and skedaddled straight to the Ulta section.
When she arrived at the Ulta section she heard the voice of a panicked worker. "A woman is going insane and claiming to see ghosts." The worker said over the phone.
"Send her to Mrs Flemings." The worker on the phone replied.
"NO! Mrs Flemings sucks." The other worker said.
"Ok fine! Then do nothing about it! It isn't our problem." Regina toned out the rest of the conversation and grabbed the lipstick and drunk elephant she was looking for.
"OH NO! I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE NO DRAIN CLEANER AT HOME!" Regina thought to herself. She quickly skedaddled over to the cleaning supplies section where she saw two teenagers arguing about something probably not important. Probably not about murdering two other teenagers.
"Killing people is bad and so is burning targets." The girl in the blue blazer said in a loud whisper.
"Fine! Fine! Fine! I'll burn the school instead of the Target." Replied the boy in the mysterious trench coat.
Regina was so flabbergasted, how did they know her idea!? "I know how ill get my revenge! I'll commit arson on the Target and blame it on those two dumb teenagers.
~~~
"That story is super crazy Heather. But it's just your imagination." Heather told Heather. Heather thought Heather was acting insane, how could Heather have possibly seen the ghosts of Heather, Kurt, and Ram. Also the fact that Heather claimed that Veronica and JD killed them. Heather always thought there was something fishy about JD but Veronica? Veronica seemed pretty normal. "How about we tell someone about all this?!"
"Good idea!"
Heather and Heather searched for a worker until they saw Martha Dunstock from school.
"Martha Dumptruck in the flesh!" Heather giggled.
"Thats not nice." Heather replied. They soon approached Martha and explained what just happened.
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that's a nice story you made? But maybe he was a murder all this time, so my theory was correct! But, why would my best friend kill Heather."
"Theroy?" The Heathers questioned.
"Oh yes! I believe JD killed Heather, Ram, and Kurt since Ram kissed me in kindergarten so he can't be gay. And anyways JD always seemed sus."
"We need to tell the police!" Heather suggested.
"Theres not enough evidence but we can probably tell someone else." Martha replied. "I'm going to call someone, you two can go look around."
The Heathers agreed and went back to the section Heather originally saw the ghosts. "Whoops, we left our Starbucks cups here." Heather realized while picking up her cup off the shelf.
"Wait, these aren't our drinks. They saw the name Regina on it and I don't remember my drink being this blue...?"
BUT IT WAS TOO LATE HEATHER ALREADY DRANK THE DRAIN CLEANER AND DIED!! "HEATHER NOOOOOOOOOO!" Heather yelled at the top of her lungs.