Work Text:
"Do you think this is good for now?" Parrot asks out loud as he looks over the categories he made his system logging spreadsheet. Ever since he got the news that simply plural was being shut down, he's been scrambling to look for an alternative. Unfortunately since every other plural app is either also shutting down, doesn't suit his needs, or is made by AI and probably a honeypot, he's had to resort to the classic strategy: just writing everything down in google sheets. at least until an actually good alternative shows up.
"You're missing a lot of info. Why not just copy all our custom fields?" The response Parrots get is internal, and in this instance coming from Wisteria, their co-host.
"That would take too long. I'm just trying to get something started so I can go back to editing." Parrot says.
"Fine. I guess."
Parrot takes that as a win because that is the nicest Wisteria will ever be to him, and starts filling out the sheet.
Name⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Pronouns⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Role⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ Source⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ Notes
Parrot ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ he/him⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ host⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀brainmade⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ n/a
He opens up simply plural (and can't help the pang of sadness as he realizes just how much they're going to lose by switching to using a spreadsheet) to find the next profile he needs to fill out.
Name⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Pronouns⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Role⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ Source⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ Notes
Tenka⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ he/she⠀ ⠀ ⠀gatekeeper⠀ ⠀brainmade⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀n/a
Wistera⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀he/they⠀ ⠀ ⠀co-host⠀ ⠀ ⠀ wifies - uu⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀hater
"So why are we calling me a hater" Wisteria now feels a lot closer to Parrot, like hes hovering right behind him.
"Because you are?" Parrot asks rhetorically. "Honestly I think the only reason you're a co-host is because you like to hover around me and insult me all day. Which is completely unwarranted, by the way."
Wisteria scoffs. "Unwarranted? Who killed me off in the most emotionally evil way possible again?"
"Okay bro." Parrot rolls his eyes. "It was good for the story."
"Debatable."
Parrot elects to ignore wisteria and keep working.
Which is unfortunately easier said than done.
"Okay so why did Light not write anything in his custom fields." Parrot pinches the bridge of his nose.
"He was too busy ominously threatening Zam in Japanese to worry about any simply plural stuff. Honestly, I'm surprised he even made a profile." Wisteria jokes, in a completely flat voice that only Parrot can identify as joking.
"Right. Of course." He sighs. "Well that can be his problem when he fronts next."
Name⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Pronouns⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Role⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ Source⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Notes
Light⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ he/him⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀n/a⠀ ⠀ ⠀light - death note⠀ ⠀speaks in japanese??
Macaw⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀it/its⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ n/a⠀ ⠀ ⠀ parrot - lifesteal⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ n/a
"Macaw and Parrot. You're both so creative."
"Can you please do literally anything other than just delivering sarcastic quips every 5 minutes." Parrot would glare at Wisteria if he had a physical form.
"No thank you."
Parrot contemplates arguing back, but frankly he's tired of this and would rather be editing his videos, so he calls it a day. Finishing this can be someone else's problem later— preferably Wisteria's.