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"You think that simple parkour will defeat me, the parkour god Evbo?" Evbo confidently said as he approached Seawatt's new potion parkour setup. He studied the parkour for a bit before stretching his legs to prepare to do the parkour.
Seawatt chuckles evilly and smirks. "It's not just any potion parkour. If you fail, you get slowness." He said, gesturing for Evbo to go ahead and do the parkour.
Evbo makes the first jump, and the second, but the third? Heh, well, let's just say he fails it epic style. The effect of the potion was immediate, he felt more sluggish and slow. He gasped dramatically, pointing at Seawatt. "What? I was so confident I could make it! This is rigged, you— You must've done something to make me fail it!"
Seawatt raised his hands, pretending to be innocent. "I didn't even do anything, I just built the parkour. It's not impossible." He said, smugly, "See, I'll even do it right now!"
Seawatt goes on to do the parkour perfectly, smirking smugly the whole time. He shrugged. "It's easy, you just suck." Evbo was seething at Seawatt's words, probably huffing copium in his head.
"Ok, whatever, how do I get rid of the effect?" Evbo asked, ignoring Seawatt's smugness. "I can barely do a one block jump like this!" Evbo pouted, glaring at Seawatt like he was the cause of all problems.
Seawatt stared at Evbo, thinking about the cure. "Parkour kissing."
Evbo looked even more confused. "What. What even is parkour kissing? You just made that up, you can't do that!"
Seawatt clicked his tongue, shaking his head. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. I didn't make it up, it's a real thing." Seawatt stepped back, breaking the potion parkour to begin building the Parkour Kiss. "This is the cure, we have to do it together." He said, holding his hand out for Evbo to take.
Evbo grumbled under his breath but he took Seawatt's hand, glaring at him. "If this doesn't work, I'm going to parkour murder you." He threatened, his body being sluggish and slow due to the effect of slowness. "I— Why does it look like that?"
Seawatt chose to ignore Evbo, instead choosing to pull him along towards the parkour. Using his eyes, Evbo noticed that the parkour was in the shape of a heart.
Yes, dear reader, this was in fact all a ploy for Seawatt to parkour kiss his crush.
The two held hands as they did the parkour, Seawatt was twirling his hair and kicking his feet mentally, while Evbo was struggling due to the effect of the slowness. He wanted to get this over with.
At the end of the parkour, Seawatt faced Evbo and kissed him on the lips. Evbo freaked out and pushed Seawatt away. "What the hell, Seawatt?! I— Is this why it's called Parkour Kissing?!"
"Yes, and also the effect would've gone away in 30 seconds even if we didn't do the Parkour Kissing." Seawatt confessed, chuckling at Evbo's shocked expression.
