Archive of Our Own

Varka doesn’t look like how Venti describes him. Nicole distinctly remembers phrases such as “a golden retriever”, “the biggest softie EVER”, and “kind, through and through.”

The man before her is ginormous in stature, bears a messy blond wolf cut, has an X-shaped scar on the right side of his face, and looks quite stern. He barely spares a glance at Nicole as he opens the passenger door for her.

“Some ground rules,” he says, keeping his gaze fixed above the car. “No eating chips or anything that drops crumbs on the carpet. No open-lid drinks, but water bottles are fine. Do not put your feet on the dashboard. No puking in the car. If you need to, roll the window and puke outside. No passing gas in the car either— if you’d like to do so, please inform me so I may let you out.”

Nicole stares. She’s never met anyone who’s a stickler for such rules. She’s so baffled she just stands there, leaving Varka waiting with the passenger door open.

Varka clears his throat. “Um. Miss?”

Nicole smiles as politely as she can and signs accordingly. I apologize. Thank you for holding the door for me. She slips into the car without another word, her brain still trying to reconcile the two versions of Varka she witnessed and was told about.

She didn’t want to carpool. But her office is far away from the nearest bus stops, and she doesn’t know how to drive, so why would she buy a car? When she rants to her friends Venti and Alice about this dilemma, they insist she carpools with Varka.

“His workplace is just one block away from yours, and he understands Teyvatian Sign Language,” Alice had said as she twirled her wine glass around the air. “Don’t you think that’s practically a match made in heaven?”

That’s an exaggeration. Nicole had frowned. I don’t know anything about this man.

“Think about it, Nicole,” Venti said. His voice is slurred, and his body bobs back and forth as he speaks. “You won’t have to worry about walking that extra mile every day in heels anymore, or having to pay the bus fee! You don’t go anywhere too far during the weekends, right? You can just stay home all day and daydream about all those stories you want to write!”

You make me sound like a loser. Nicole had glared at him so fiercely that Venti toppled off his seat. It’s telling that he would have done so even if he wasn’t drunk.

“That’s not what I was trying to say!”

“Give it a try and see how it goes,” Alice had said. “I already texted him about it. He’s willing to give you a ride this Monday!”

Nicole had to suppress the urge to pull her hair out of her head. Of course Alice had already made plans for her without prior notice. This is what she always does.

And now Nicole finds herself in the passenger seat of the fanciest car she’s ever been in her life, next to a man who looks like he could strangle people twice her size. His hands are so large they practically cover half the steering wheel, and he barely has to move his feet to press on the brakes. The seat belt is practically screaming for help from where it strains against his chest— big and buff, like a bodybuilder’s.

Nicole looks away and tries to hide her face. There’s another reason why Alice offered her this carpool arrangement. She knows Varka is exactly Nicole’s type.

Except she hadn’t accounted for his personality. After sitting through fifteen minutes of excruciating silence, Nicole pulls out her phone and her text-to-speech app.

“So… how has your day been, Mr. Varka?” The voice reverberates out of the phone crisply. Technology has improved well over the last few years; she can now pick a pleasant female voice through which she can express herself. It’s better than the generic robot voice that makes her sound uncaring and narcissistic at times.

“Good,” he replies.

Nicole waits. He doesn’t say anything else.

No matter. She continues typing.

“What’s your job, Mr. Varka?”

“I’m a software engineer.”

Nicole waits again. Varka remains silent, his eyes focused on the road. She feels herself growing mildly frustrated, but she wills herself to be patient. She types again. Before she can hit the voice button, Varka speaks.

“Your office is right across the street from Favonius Corps, correct?”

“Yes, it is,” Nicole types hurriedly, spamming the voice button like there’s no tomorrow. “It’s normally very crowded, but you should be able to drop me off near the main garden, and I’ll be able to walk to the building without a problem.”

Varka nods.

And that was the extent of their conversation. Nicole lets her body sag and she turns away to the window, her chin digging into her palm as she glares at the road.

This was going to be one long car ride.

“So? How was it?”

Nicole signs at Alice through the camera furiously. He doesn’t talk much.

“Well, I suppose he’s one of those people who wants to give you their full attention when they’re talking to you.” Alice shrugs uncommittally. Her baby daughter Klee squeals as her mother tosses her into the air. Nicole winces.

Should you really be throwing your kid up and down like that?

“I don’t see what the problem is,” Alice shrugs. “Klee likes it.”

Klee coos in confirmation.

Nicole waves them off. Whatever. The point is, I don’t think this arrangement is going to work for very long.

“Don’t lose hope! It’s just one awkward car ride. It’s not like he picked you up an hour late, did he?”

Nicole purses her lip. She can’t think of a counterargument. Varka had parked right where she requested him to, and on time, no less. There aren’t many individuals out there with that kind of efficiency and timeliness.

“Give it another try, Nikki,” Alice says, her voice more gentle. Klee had fallen asleep on her lap and was now being rocked back and forth. “If it doesn’t work out, I can look for someone else you can carpool with.”

I will, Nicole sighs. I do prefer this over the buses. But don’t call me Nikki, it’s strange.

Alice laughs. “Alright. I’ll see you later, bestie.”

The call turns off. Nicole finds herself staring at the black screen for a few moments, thinking about what would entail in the car ride tomorrow.

Nothing much changed from yesterday. Varka is still silent, his attention fully occupied by the road. Nicole decides she shouldn’t be too upset by this. After all, it beats having a careless driver. She doesn’t want to risk her neck simply for an easier ride to work.

“Near the garden again?” Varka asks.

Nicole nods.

Dead silence. If Nicole could speak, she might find herself singing, screaming, saying anything to fill the silence. She prays to the universe that Varka would try to start a conversation.

He doesn’t. They reach their street without a hassle, although there were a few more cars around today. Nicole remembers hearing rumors that a school had recently opened in the cul-de-sac far down their street, which would explain the sudden influx of cars.

“Thank you.” Nicole presses the button on her app. She realizes she hadn’t really given him her thanks. “I really appreciate the ride.”

Varka nods at her. “It’s not a problem, Miss Nicole.”

He drives off again. Nicole stares off at the receding car, already caught up in the incoming traffic, and walks into her building.

That night, she arrives home a little past seven. The traffic jam had gotten worse during the rush hour, and they’d been stuck on the highway for thirty minutes. Nicole thought this would have been a great opportunity for Varka to finally talk to her, but he remains quiet. Sometimes she wonders if he’s secretly a brick wall, with no mental acuity whatsoever.

“I think that’s a little harsh to say, don’t you think?” Venti winces.

Nicole snorts. He should know that; he’s been a victim of Nicole’s sharp jabs a few times before. She ruffles Venti’s hair, careful not to mess up his braids. I apologize. I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong when it comes to him, you know?

“I understand how it is.” Venti pulls at his braids to tighten the escaped strands. “However, I can’t really reconcile the image of Varka you’re painting for me. He just… sounds so different.”

Nicole makes a face. Maybe he doesn’t like me.

“Nah, I don’t think that’s the case. If anything, he’s probably nervous.”

Nervous? What for?

“Not sure.” Venti pats Nicole’s shoulder. “Don’t you think about it too much. You should worry about the ride tomorrow. There are predictions on the news that the traffic around those streets will be pretty bad.”

Don’t worry about me. Surely those predictions won’t come to fruition. You probably overheard them while you were drinking in the bars, did you not?

Venti turns slightly pink. “I’m not always at the bars.”

Then where did you hear it?

“The news!”

In the bar.

“That’s! That’s besides the point!”

The days went on, and then a few weeks. Varka picks Nicole up from her apartment, drops her off, picks her up, and takes her back home. The time between these points is occupied by her time in the office, sleep in her apartment, and those awkward car rides. Nicole made no more attempts at light conversation, and Varka’s attention was always occupied by the road. The only words they exchanged between them were greetings and farewells of the most formal nature.

Venti’s prediction had also come true, for better or worse: the traffic on their roads was more jam-packed than they were the first day. The clogged line of cars had begun extending way beyond the horizon, the end out of sight. Meaning that Nicole has to spend unnecessarily extra time with Varka in that accursed fancy car.

After two weeks of being stuck in the car for one extra hour every evening, Nicole has started going mad. She presses her chin against the car window and glares at the children she can see through the windows of the nearby car. They’re eating lollipops and laughing at the faces their father made. How envious she is of their freedom, to be able to be freely joyous in their car.

“I’m sorry.”

Nicole snaps out of her thoughts at Varka’s apology. It takes her a moment to scramble for her phone.

“What are you sorry for?”

“I made us stuck in traffic,” Varka says. He looks quite miserable— his blond locks are droopier today. “I went down this way because it was a shortcut. I thought people would keep to the main road. It appears I was wrong.”

Nicole can’t help but keep staring. After weeks of barely talking, it was jarring to hear him speak. She quickly types into her app before she loses this opportunity.

“There’s nothing to apologize for. It’s not like you can control traffic, can you?”

“I guess you’re right.” Varka manages a small smile, and Nicole has a sensation in her chest as if she has just been shot. He looks surprisingly adorable for a buff, older man.

Nicole clears her throat and looks away. “Still, it seems we’ll be stuck here for a while.”

“It seems so.”

More silence. Nicole can feel her previous annoyance creep back in. She squashes it. He made the effort to be cordial with her, didn’t he? It’s her responsibility to keep going. She types again.

“Varka.”

“Yes?”

“Are you a cat or dog person?”

Varka freezes. Just as Nicole thought he was going to retreat into silence once again, forcing their car rides into an awkward atmosphere forevermore, Varka turns his body towards her and regards her with a serious expression.

“My family inherited countless heirlooms depicting the Borean wolves, and I grew up with dogs. You’d think I’d like them more then, because of mere exposure. But I’ve always been curious about cats. One time while I was still in high school, I walked into a cat café by accident. The cats there were beautiful. I ended up spending my entire day there.” Varka taps his X-shaped scar. “One time I accidentally held a cat wrong, and that’s how I got this scar.” He clears his throat, his ears now pinking. “But most cats are pretty fond of me, so now… now I’m a cat person.”

Nicole stares. She snorts.

Varka frowns, though it looks a bit more like a pout. “Are you laughing at me?”

“Apologies, Mister Varka. I just didn’t think you’d have such a detailed reason for your answer.”

He scratches the back of his head. “It’s something I’ve been thinking about.”

“Me too.”

Silence settles between them like a blanket. Nicole turns her head to the window and smiles to herself. The atmosphere in the car has shifted from painful and awkward to something a little more pleasing now. Varka clears his throat.

“What about you, Miss Nicole? Do you prefer cats or dogs?”

Nicole taps her chin, then her keyboard. “I, too, very much like cats.”

Varka looks at her with a smile. It’s so gentle. “That’s what I thought.”

“So?” Alice inquires.

Nicole squints at her. “What?”

“A little birdie told me you talked to you-know-who.”

Nicole glares at Venti, who raises his hands in surrender.

“I only explained that you guys are finally talking again!”

We never stopped talking. Things were just awkward, that’s all.

“That’s still progress, bestie!” Alice claps her hands excitedly. “I’m so proud of you!”

If there’s anyone you should be proud of, it’s Varka.

“It’s unfortunate you have to be stuck in traffic for so long, though,” Venti winces. “Maybe you should move to an apartment closer to your office?”

The apartments are expensive in that area. Plus, we wouldn’t be neighbors anymore, would we?

“You love being neighbors with me?” Venti sounds like he might tear up.

If you drink less, maybe.

“You’re so cruel. I can’t give up wine.”

Alice clocks the back of Venti’s head. “No moving!” To Nicole, she stresses, “You need to make sure you end up in more traffic jams!”

Nicole and Venti look at her.

“What? It made him friendlier and open to conversation, no?”

Nicole’s hands are starting to cramp, but she endures on. That was one conversation. We were silent for the rest of the ride. If I have to deal with anymore awkwardness like that, I’d rather die.

“Trust me,” Alice says, dropping her elbow on Nicole’s shoulder. “He enjoys these sessions trapped in traffic as much as you do.”

I don’t enjoy them.

“Keep telling yourself that, Nikki.”

Much to Alice’s delight and Nicole’s chagrin, they do get stuck in traffic again. Luckily, Nicole has compiled a list of conversation topics in her notes app, in case of another situation like this. But before she can ask him whether he prefers fish over birds as pets, he asks her about her job.

“Alice mentions that your company deals with video games,” Varka says. “But what do you do specifically?”

“I’m a marketer. I’m part of the team in charge of promotion campaigns.”

“Do you like your job?”

Nicole blinks. “Well. I guess I do. Otherwise, I’d have quit long ago.”

“You guess?”

“Being a marketer has always been my backup plan.”

“What was your original plan then?”

She leans her head against the window and stares at the stars above. There are only two people in her life to whom she’s told her deepest aspirations. She’s not sure why she tells him this, but—

“I’ve always wanted to be a writer. I double majored in Marketing and Creative Writing in college. But I can’t just sell books, you know. That’s not how it works here.”

Varka tilts his head. “Do you still write, though?”

“Not as much as I used to.” Nicole’s chest throbs as the female voice. “I do on the weekends when I don’t have much work, but it’s hard to write with so many responsibilities.”

He nods. “I know what you’re saying.”

Varka bounces off her in conversations so easily now that Nicole wonders if she had imagined the last few weeks. She decides she’ll take this. She leans against the headrest and turns to him.

“Did you always want to be a software engineer?”

“I wanted to be a streamer when I was a kid. Play video games and all that.”

Nicole snorts again. “For some reason, I can’t see you as a gamer. You look too serious for that.”

“Really? You haven’t met a serious gamer?”

“Well, I’ve met a few. But I don’t know. You don’t seem silly enough to entertain your audience.”

“Hey, I can be silly.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

Varka turns to her and squints. When he does, his eyebrows press together to form a little crease in his forehead. Nicole is overwhelmed with the urge to poke it.

“What do you call a fake noodle?”

Nicole blinks.

“An impasta.”

She groans and buries her head in her palms. Varka explodes in boisterious laughter, chortling so hard the car starts shaking.

“That’s terrible.” Nicole shoots him a side glare.

“It’s brilliant, is it not? I stole it from a friend who loves puns.”

“You should return it. I think you’re getting scammed.”

Varka guffaws again. “You’re just as funny, you know, Miss Nicole?”

Nicole feels herself turn bright pink. She types again. “You don’t have to address me as ‘Miss’, you know. ‘Nicole’ is just fine. We’re not that far apart in age.”

He hums. “Alright. So, would you like to hear another pun?”

“Please don’t.”

“Why can’t the bike stand on its own?”

“Here we go again.”

“Because it was two tyred!”

“Of course it was.”

Varka spends the rest of the car ride showing off his best puns. Nicole practically runs out of the car, although she makes sure to close it tightly before she reaches her front door. A honk surprises her, and she turns to see Varka peering through the rolled-down window.

“Hey, Nicole,” Varka calls to her. “Same time tomorrow?”

Nicole finds herself a little shy. She tucks her hair behind her ear and signs, Yeah, of course.

Varka rolls up the window and drives away. Nicole ignores the fuzzy feeling in her chest and walks into her apartment.

The traffic in their street doesn’t ease up for the next few months, but it doesn’t bother Nicole as much anymore. In fact, she starts looking forward to these sessions in the car with him.

“When you were six, you what?” The automated voice didn’t express Nicole’s amusement very well, but she was sure Varka could tell from the way she was bending over and trying not to cry.

“I thought it was juice!” He exclaims. “I didn’t think my mom would leave the wine lying out there on the dining table!”

“Did you get drunk?”

“Of course I did, I drank the entire bottle.”

“How did you do that without passing out?”

“I have no idea, actually. But my dad has always been a good drinker. So maybe I inherited his genes.”

They got stuck in traffic so often that Varka had started bringing snacks and movies. Nicole remembered thinking it was a little strange, since he was so particular about spilling crumbs and keeping his eyes off the road, but sometimes their car was stagnant for so long that these breaks were a breath of fresh air. In any case, Varka was also good at maintaining situational awareness. One time, he was crying over a particular scene in Commemoration of All the Dead Children while easing the car forward slowly through the traffic. Nicole had marveled at the dexterity he possessed and had to really focus on not cracking up. The movie was quite sad after all.

Their conversations have also gotten more creative, thanks to Nicole’s ingenious list of conversation topics and Varka’s quick responses.

“If you were a condiment, what would you be?”

“Tartar sauce.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m basic.”

Nicole nudges him. “Don’t say that.”

“I’m the typical office worker, you know. There’s nothing that special about me.”

“Of course there is, don’t say that.”

Varka hums. “Well, what about you? What would you be?”

“Chili sauce.”

“Why? Because you’re hot?”

Nicole chokes over her spit. Varka clears his throat as well and looks away. His ears are so red they look like they’ve been sprayed in hot sauce.

“Sorry,” he says. “Sorry, sorry. That was uncalled for. I— I meant that as a compliment. I have no excuse. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not offended,” Nicole types madly. “I didn’t know you thought I was hot.”

Varka clears his throat. “I shouldn’t have said it like that.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, I think you’re hot too.”

He starts coughing violently. Nicole places her hand on her cheek as she looks out her window, feeling the warmth beneath her fingers.

Nicole finds herself a little lighter these days. She feels like she could just float away, like a balloon would disappear into the clouds without a rope to hold it down. Every day after work, she goes home thinking about tomorrow morning, when she will see Varka again. She repeats this process while at work, daydreaming about what they’d talk about in the traffic-trapped car. It’s becoming a problem, really.

“You’re in love!” Alice nags in a swoony tone. Her daughter, in Venti’s arms, giggles at her mother’s voice.

That’s not it. Nicole’s face is bright red. It’s too soon.

“Too soon? Haven’t you been watching movies together in the car? You’re practically going on dates!”

“You’re on track for a long and prosperous relationship,” Venti adds wisely. He bobs Klee up and down so that it looks like she’s nodding. “See? Even Klee agrees!”

It’s because we’re both bored. He’s being nice. We don’t spend time together outside of the car. Nicole finds herself a little disappointed as she comes to this realization. It’s safe to say that even if I do feel something more for him, there’s no guarantee that he does either.

“Well,” Alice says. “I suppose you must wait until something does change.”

Perhaps it was Alice’s uncanny ability to predict things, or her other uncanny ability to manifest things she wants to life, but the next time Nicole and Varka drive home, a thunderstorm hits. Nicole purses her lips as she stares at the GPS map on her phone.

“What’s wrong?” Varka asks, peering over her shoulder.

Nicole switches over to the text-to-speech app. “The road to my apartment floods easily. I don’t think it’ll be safe for me to go home right now.”

“Where will you stay?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I could ask Alice if I could stay at her place.”

“Isn’t that all the way on the other side of town?”

She nods.

“That’s not good. You should come to my place instead.”

Nicole’s phone falls out of her hands and between her feet. She doesn’t even try to find it, instead choosing to sign at top speed. Except she’s shaking, so she isn’t sure if she managed to communicate her message well.

Are you— are you sure about that? Is that not— do you— well, do you live alone? With someone else?

“Don’t worry, I live alone,” he assures her. “Plus, I have a convertible sofa. I can take that, and you can take my room.”

The thought of sleeping in Varka’s bed is making Nicole blush more than the times she thought about the things she wanted him to do to her. She coughs more emphatically to rid herself of such thoughts.

“What do you think?” Varka asks. “Do you prefer I take you all the way to Alice’s place?”

He sounds kind, patient, like he doesn’t care what answer she’ll give him. Nicole could feel her stomach tossing and turning, but perhaps…

I’ll take you up on your offer.

Varka’s apartment is much more spacious than hers. There are three large rooms, one his bedroom, another his office, and a third his personal gym. Even the bathroom was twice the size of Nicole’s own place. The kitchen is spacious too, with a pantry overlooking the living room where the convertible sofa sits in front of a large television. Controllers and gaming headphones are scattered on the coffee table, along with several documents. 

His apartment was also much closer in location to their offices than Nicole’s place was. She calculated this while looking at her digital maps: it would’ve been much easier for him to go to work directly than to take a turn to Nicole’s place. Before she could ask him about it, Varka was already shoving leftover takeout boxes into the garbage can, laughing shyly.

“Sorry about the mess. I, uh, don’t get that many visitors.”

Don’t worry about it, Nicole says. The thought of Varka not getting many visitors makes her a little sad. At least she has Alice and Venti visiting her often, despite how busy they could be. Her stomach grumbles out of the blue, and she holds it, embarrassed.

“Are you hungry?” Varka opens the fridge and frowns. “Well. Uh, I have some microwaveable ham sandwiches. And some hash brown leftovers from the breakfast place downtown. And cold pizza—”

Do you have any vegetables? Nicole frowns, shoving Varka aside and scrutinizing his fridge. How do you not have any vegetables?

“I don’t have time to cook! I’m always busy with work and stuff.”

Nicole thinks about the fancy apartment, the fancy car. Varka does seem like someone who works hard. He was so serious the first time they met, after all.

Do you have pans, at least?

“Of course I do, I’m not crazy.”

There’s a convenience store nearby, right?

“What are you planning to do?”

I’ll cook for you.

Varka shakes his head. “No, no. You’re my guest. You don’t have to cook—”

Varka. She signs out each letter carefully, so that he has to really look at her. I want to do it. Let me do it for you.

He sighs. “Fine. But I’m going down to buy the ingredients. What would you like?”

Nicole sends him a list of ingredients. He returns in under fifteen minutes, his forehead slicked with sweat. She tries very hard to ignore the way his bangs stick to his face while prepping the ingredients. Varka tries to help, but when he crushes three eggs under his fingers, she shooes him off.

Just watch, she says.

“Alright,” he says, his elbow propping his chin as he looks at her. “I’ll watch.”

Maybe she shouldn’t have suggested he do that. Her skin felt like it was on fire the entire time.

Regardless, she manages to whip up a classic Sweet Madame with a Satisfying Salad on the side. Varka brings out a bottle of Dandelion Wine to accompany their meal. They sit on his dusty dining table, which could have fit six people if Varka had more than two chairs. They watch the rain continue to pelt the city through the windows, a foggy mist shrouding the skyline before them.

“Have you ever thought about leaving Mond City?” Varka asks Nicole between mouthfuls of chicken.

Sometimes.

“Really?”

I don’t know. I get bored, as I tend to. But I don’t mind staying here. Nicole swallows her Dandelion Wine. It takes her a while to gather the courage to ask her question. What about you?

“I can’t see myself leaving,” Varka shrugs. “I’ve lived here for so long, I feel like I’ll miss this place to death if I have to go somewhere else.”

Nicole sighs. She is suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of relief.

I see.

Varka reaches for the TV remote. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

Nicole follows Varka to the sofa and signs quickly. We should have a movie marathon. It’s a Friday night. Let’s watch a bunch of rom-coms.

“Yeah? What should we start with?”

Ooh, The Matchmaking Attempts of Durin the Storybook Dragon is a classic. I always feel bad for the main character.

“Oh, that one was good. Let’s see if I have it.”

He does have it, and so they watch it together. At some point, Nicole finds herself leaning against Varka, tipsy with wine. He lets her as they move on to Press the Advantage, Defying Stars, and For You, Anything. In the midst of watching Insomnia Cure, Nicole finds herself nodding off. Her eyelids are starting to become ridiculously heavy.

“Nicole.” Varka’s voice is a soothing whisper. “You can’t fall asleep here. I’ll take you to the room.”

She lifts her arm to sign to him, but her arms are too tired. She feels Varka’s muscular arms under her body as he lifts her easily, as if she were a mere feather. Nicole feels her chest flutter at this. She covers her face as he carries her through the apartment.

“Are you alright? Are you cold?”

Curse this man. Curse this man and his stupid blond wolfcut, his long eyelashes, his horribly attractive muscles. They’re so close like this, with him carrying her against his chest.

Nicole feels the bed sink around her body. Varka’s hand brushes her hair out of her forehead.

“Sleep well, Nicole.”

She grabs his arm before he can leave. She can see him startle through her blurry vision as she yanks him so he falls on top of her. He’s bigger than she thought, and he practically shields her entire body. Varka clears his throat, his hands framing the sides of Nicole’s face.

“Nicole, what—”

She grabs his collar and kisses him.

Nicole didn’t think she was going to do it before she did it, but a part of her had known she was going to eventually, one way or another. Long before they started talking, perhaps since they first met. It’s weird, really. He was a little rude to her in the beginning, after all. That was not attractive in the slightest. She tells him this, in between the kisses. Varka’s breathless when he laughs, but he leans in and whispers, “You were so beautiful. I got nervous.”

It sends her heart flipping around in her chest. She staunches it by latching her mouth onto his neck, and then he was hissing and pulling her closer, and they were tangling in the blankets, red-faced, fueled by desire, their minds muddled—

Nicole wakes up with the worst hangover known to mankind. Eyes throbbing, feeling like they might fall out. Throat dry, scraped raw as if by sandpaper.

She stretches her arms against the headrest and accidentally punches someone’s cheek. Nicole turns to see Varka wince beside her, groaning as he turns to his side to face her. His eyes flutter open.

“Good morning,” he mumbles, his voice deeper than usual.

Nicole stares. She stares for quite a while, that it prompts Varka to sit up and pat her shoulder with concern.

“Are you okay? Do you need water?”

Nicole nods. She keeps looking at him and his bare back as he walks out the door and comes back in with a tablet and a glass of water. She tosses the tablet into her mouth like a greedy raccoon and swallows it down harshly. Varka pounds her back as she chokes.

“Take it slow,” Varka says. “You don’t want to choke over some tablets, do you?”

Nicole shakes her head in agreement. She doesn’t look at him as she passes the glass of water back. She keeps her gaze on her bare legs, on the marks left there. She can feel her face turning redder by the minute.

“Nicole?” Varka places his hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

His touch is surprisingly warm and brings back memories from the night before. She swallows and tries to push them to the back of her mind.

Yes, yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I be okay?

Varka frowns at her. He looks a little unsure now. He removes his hand from her shoulder and shifts in place.

“Did I do something wrong? I’d rather you tell me before we barrel into a misunderstanding.”

Nicole stares. A mature and communicative man? Where has this type of person been all her life?

You didn’t do anything wrong, she signs. It’s just… don’t you think we’re moving way too fast? The only time we’ve spent together was in your car during traffic jams, and the first time we visited each other’s places, we slept together. We haven’t even been on a date yet.

She is worried he can’t catch all that, but he is nodding vigorously at every point. When she finishes, he brings the glass to his knee. It’s comically small compared to his bulking physique.

“So you’re saying you want me to ask you out on a date?”

Nicole blushes and waves her hands. That’s not exactly— I wasn’t— 

“Are you free this Sunday afternoon?” Varka tilts his head and smiles at Nicole’s frantic gestures. Smirking, more like.

Yes, Nicole resigns.

“Alright.” He leans in to press a brief kiss on her forehead. “Gather your things, I’ll take you home.”

Varka leaves to shower. Nicole spends fifteen minutes wondering why a kiss to her forehead made her brain short-circuit longer than sleeping with him did.

“YOU WHAT?” Venti exclaims.

Shhhh, the neighbors! Nicole waves her hands in circles to signal the shushing. She’s been doing a lot of that in the last few minutes, but Venti is rather blind when it comes to things like that.

“I’m so glad I put Klee to sleep before I let you speak,” Alice sighs dramatically, placing her hand on her chest. Klee snores on the couch next to her. “This is hardly an appropriate topic for an eight-month-old.”

I can’t speak!

“But you can still sign,” Venti notes.

Since when can Klee understand sign language?

“Don’t underestimate my daughter,” Alice says haughtily, her chin high in the air. “She’s a lot more intelligent than you think.”

Nicole decides it’s futile to argue. Anyway, I think he’s going to take me out on a date on Sunday.

Venti starts shrieking at the top of his lungs, grabbing Nicole’s arms and jumping around the living room in a circle with her. “REALLY? That’s so exciting! I’m so happy for you! We should get my bottle of Dandelion Wine from upstairs to celebrate—”

“That’s hardly appropriate for my daughter!” Alice booms again.

“She’s asleep!” Venti roars, hostile towards anything that goes between him and his drinks.

No drinking, no partying, Nicole signs swiftly. I’m still recovering from that hangover.

“And we need to prep you for that date!” Alice claps her hands together. “It’s time to raid your closet.”

Raid my—

“We’ll help you prepare for tomorrow!” Venti abandons all prospects of drinking at the thought of helping his friend and neighbor. He loops his arm around Nicole’s right. “It’s been a while since you’ve gone on a date, right?”

Well, yes, but—

“Come on.” Alice loops hers around Nicole’s left elbow. “To the closet!”

Nicole waits at her front door, shifting on her heels. She’s fifteen minutes early, and the cold is biting at her skin. She rubs her arms as she cranes her neck for Varka’s fancy car.

Varka shows up right on time, because of course he does. When Nicole steps into the car, she is hit with the smell of powerful cologne and the sight of Varka in a crisp white button-down. The shirt stretches over Varka’s chest in a way that makes her choke up.

“Hey,” Varka’s gaze is fixed on her dress, a white-yellow knee-length summer dress with lots and lots of frills. It’s one of Nicole’s favorite dresses, and it pleases her to see Varka’s ears turn redder by the second. “You look, um. You look great. Beautiful.”

Thank you, Nicole smiles and slips into the car.

The ride is a little awkward, not so different from their first time in the car together. Varka’s eyes are fixed only on the road again. Just as Nicole is about to lose her mind, Varka tinkers with the stereo, and a gentle melody plays into the car. Nicole closes her eyes and enjoys the song.

“The roads are clear for once,” Varka notes, gesturing to the lack of congestion before them.

Nicole pulls out her phone. “Yes.”

The song fills the silence between them. Nicole shifts in her seat. They’re already reasonably friends, and they’ve even shared a bed, for goodness’s sake. Why are things weird again?

“So… what’s the plan for today?” Nicole asks.

“That’s a surprise,” Varka says, winking at her.

He doesn’t look nervous, all of a sudden. Nicole finds herself a little calm at this revelation and wills herself to relax.

They travel through the southern side of the city, a section of the city Nicole hasn’t been to often. Varka drives into a serene neighborhood, stopping at a store that reads, Mond’s Cat Café. Nicole stares at the entrance and looks at Varka.

Varka fidgets in his seat. “Since we both like cats, I just thought… well, why not spend the afternoon with them?”

Nicole coughs into her fist to hide her smile. This is perfect.

And so they walk into the café and relinquish their belongings to the short, grumpy girl with bright pink hair and calico ears at the front desk. Varka stares at her for long enough that she bares her teeth. Her canines are surprisingly vampire-like.

“What are you looking at?” She snarls.

“Nothing,” Varka says quickly, gently guiding Nicole deeper into the café.

How much time are we going to spend here? She asks.

“I was thinking two hours. I hope that’s enough.”

They spend six and a half hours in the café. The cats were in love with both of them and wouldn’t leave their laps, and by the time they managed to get them off, they had to rush for Varka’s reservation at the restaurant nearby. They arrived there on time, although with a little bit of sweat sticking on their skin. Not that Nicole minded— there was something about Varka being red-faced and out of breath that was making her heart race like she’s hunted prey.

“Greetings, esteemed guests!” A girl with bright blonde hair and purple crow clips on her head walked towards their table, her hands flourishing grandly. “Welcome to our most noble restaurant, owing its voluminous history to the great Lord Barbatos of ages long past—”

“Fischl, what did we talk about spreading misinformation to our guests?” A waitress in pigtails smacks the girl in the back of her head, all without dropping her tray of drinks. She smiles pleasantly at Nicole and Varka. “I apologize for her behavior. Mr. Varka, was it? Your table is right this way.”

“Thank you,” Varka nods, following her. Nicole stays back to pat the purple girl on her shoulder.

“Don’t be discouraged. You sound like you have a creative mind,” her automated voice says. “Keep dreaming.” She smiles at the girl before she follows Varka to the table.

The restaurant is more extravagant than Nicole is used to, but at least the menu is familiar. They ordered some Northern Smoked Chicken, Cold Cut Platter, and Sautéed Matsutake to share, with some Mint Jelly and Sparkling Berry Wine as a complement. They even managed to return to their normal dynamic— the cats had lightened their nervousness, and they were now chattering and laughing about their pasts.

“Yeah, so my mom said that when I was a kid, I found a snake in the backyard and used it as a playing rope for hours,” Varka says. “I was lucky it wasn’t venomous. My mom screamed when she saw me with it.”

My craziest story is that I wrote a murder mystery for my kindergarten class and presented it for show and tell, Nicole says. My teacher had to read it aloud for me, and half the kids were crying when it was over. They called my parents over and asked them to get me a therapist.

Varka wipes the corners of his eyes. “Why can I see this happening to you?”

I’m such a genius, that’s why.

He shakes his head. “How are you not a professional writer?”

I don’t know. The world doesn’t like my writing, I suppose.

“I’d read your writing,” Varka blurts. “I’m not very good at that… analyzing characters and stories and whatnot, but I’d try for you.”

Nicole feels her heart skip, and she places her hand on her shoulder. Varka reaches for that hand across the table and entwines their fingers together. The candles flickering between them cast shadows on their faces.

“I like you a lot, Miss Nicole,” Varka whispers. “I saw you once, you know. Across the street from work. I tried to find you and ask for your number, but you were gone. Then Alice told me you needed a ride from work, and I saw who you were, and well, here we are.”

She pulled her hand away to sign, feeling the loss of Varka’s warm hand. Why didn’t you talk to me when we first carpooled together, then?

“I told you.” Varka’s arm is so long that he can reach for her hand again, even across the table. “You made me so nervous. I like you so much. I want— I would like you to be— I would like to be your boyfriend.”

Nicole is overwhelmed with an emotion she can’t quite place. She feels a little sick in her stomach.

Could you give me a few days to think about my answer?

“Of course, of course,” Varka says, pulling back. His smile is so patient, it makes Nicole tear up. “Take all the time you need.”

“How was the date?” Alice asks where she was waiting at Nicole’s pantry.

It was… okay. Nicole avoids her eyes.

Alice tilts her head. “Did something happen?”

He asked me to be his girlfriend. Or he asked me if he could be my boyfriend. I guess.

“Isn’t what you wanted?”

Nicole feels the same weird feeling in her chest again. She glances at her phone and opens her app.

“Nicole?”

“I don’t know.” The automated voice resounds from Nicole’s phone. She purses her lip. She gestures to herself before she continues typing. “Look at me. I’m not a writer, something I’ve dreamt of doing for so long, and I need to use this stupid app to speak! He only likes me because he saw me once across the street looking pretty. What if… what if he finds someone else prettier, someone who’s working their dream job, someone who can actually say his name aloud with their own voice?”

Alice sighs, peering over the pantry. “Do you have any alcohol in here?”

Nicole glares at her, but points to the top cupboard. Alice hums to herself, pours two glasses, and passes one to Nicole. Despite having drunk earlier and the fact that she has work tomorrow, she drinks it all in one gulp.

“I forget how much of a fool someone can be when they’re in love,” Alice sighs. “You know where his house is relative to yours, right? You know how much of a trip he had to make every day for the past few months to drive to your place and to your offices?”

It takes Nicole a moment to recover from her shock and type. “I—”

“You are also aware that he’s been picking you up and dropping you on time, right? Has he ever been late once, even during high traffic hours?”

“No—”

“That’s because he’s been leaving his workplace early to get to your place on the dot.” Alice twirls her wine glass around and nods wisely. “He ranted to me about not knowing how to talk to you, you know. Kept calling himself an idiot and whatnot for making you sit through the awkwardness. He just doesn’t know how to express himself properly.”

Nicole should know this. She’s seen him finally open up. He knows what he’s truly like.

“And you like him too, don’t you? I’ve seen the way you talked about him.” Alice pokes Nicole’s cheeks. “You’re blushing right now, even.”

She swats Alice’s hand away. “Why’re you still here, anyway? Where’s Klee?”

“At home with Kleiner. I asked him to look after her, I’ve to worry about you after all. Venti would’ve stayed up too but he has an early shift tomorrow.”

Nicole feels warm. She’s sure it isn’t about the alcohol. Alice sets the empty wineglass on the pantry and squeezes Nicole into a brief hug.

“Anyway, you should give him an answer soon. That man’s been in love with you for months now.”

Nicole prepares to go to work the next day at lightning speed, her palms sweating and her heart thudding like a thunderstorm in her ears. She’s sure it’s more than the hangover that’s making her a little more antsy, making her roll on her heels.

Varka’s late, for once.

Nicole frowns and checks her watch. They’ll probably make it if he comes within the next five minutes, since they don’t experience terrible traffic until later on in the day. But still… Varka’s never late.

Then she hears the roaring screech of tires. Varka’s car flashes past her, the exhaust smoke puffing heavily. He looks out of breath himself when Nicole slips into the front seat.

“I’m so sorry,” is the first thing Varka says as he drives into the road. “I slept through my alarm… this will never happen again, I assure you.”

Nicole looks at him. His ears are so hot she’s sure she could cook an egg on them. He is breathing as heavily as the car is, and his work attire is all over the place— his tie is sticking out of his vest. She reaches over and fixes it for him.

The car swerves. Varka nearly crashes into a traffic light.

“Sorry,” he clears his throat again. “I didn’t get enough sleep last night.”

Nicole’s heart softens. Did he stay up last night thinking about their date? His face is slightly turned, as if he were trying to hide his face from her. She taps his elbow incessantly until he turns his head to her.

Pull over, she signs.

Varka frowns. “But we’re going to be late—”

Pull over.

Varka pulls over. He finally turns his entire body towards her and opens his mouth to demand why, when Nicole sends the paragraph she pre-typed into her app.

“I didn’t answer you right away because I was insecure. When you asked me why I wasn’t a writer, I felt ashamed of myself. Because I really wanted to be one since I was a kid, and it feels like I failed myself. But I don’t hate my life. I love it, I really do. Maybe I’m not working the job I love, but it pays me enough, I suppose. And then I was worried you only liked me because of how I looked, and that you’ll leave me if you find someone you like more, or someone who can actually speak and doesn’t have to rely on sign language and voice apps to communicate properly. But even then, I want to tell you that I like you so much, and it’s not because you have a nice body and a nice car and a nice apartment. It’s because you’re sweet and kind and a gentleman and you like cats and you like me.”

Nicole forces herself to keep looking at Varka, even when all she wants to do is wrench the car door open and run away. Even more so when the voice ends in silence, and Varka does nothing but keep staring at her. Nicole reopens her phone to type, to beg him, “Say something, please,” when Varka takes her face in his hands and kisses her.

She whimpers in surprise, which prompts Varka to kiss her harder, which doesn’t help the tie that has returned to sticking out of Varka’s chest haphazardly. But it’s alright, because Nicole grabs that tie and throws it into the back of the car so it’d stop poking her neck. They keep kissing until Varka sits on the car horn by accident, startling them out of their stupor.

Varka clears his throat. “Sorry. Um. That wasn’t very gentlemanly of me.”

He looks so cute. Nicole wants to eat his face off.

Well, we’re both already late for work, Nicole signs. And as much as I would like to stay stuck in traffic with you this evening, I think your bedroom is a better place for us to—

She doesn’t need to say more. He fastens his seatbelt again and books it back to his apartment.

“You’re leaving me?” Venti wails.

Varka’s letting me sublease his place, Nicole signs. He’s going to turn his gym into a second bedroom. And it’s closer to my office. It’ll be a better arrangement for both of us.

“Do you really need a second bedroom?” Alice muses.

Nicole gestures frantically to Klee, seated on top of the pantry and playing with her toys. There is a child here!

“She doesn’t understand us very well yet.”

But you said—

“I’ll miss you!” Venti throws his arms around Nicole’s shoulders. “Visit me often, please.”

We’ll still have our gossip nights, they’ll just have to be limited to the weekends, Nicole says. Maybe you can come over to our place sometimes, too. Varka would appreciate the company.

“No.” Venti shakes his head. “He’ll be too distracted by you.”

Hey, now—

Alice and Venti help Nicole transport the last of her belongings into the moving truck. Nicole glances at her apartment building one last time, just as she hears a honk from behind her. Varka steps out of the car with a beaming smile that fills Nicole’s heart with joy.

Alice nudges her back. “What are you waiting for, Nikki? Go to your man.”

Nicole rolls her eyes, but she runs into his arms anyway.