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Language:
English
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Published:
2026-03-11
Words:
32
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
25
Kudos:
89
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[Podfic] Cold read of whether i’m gonna be your wife or gonna smash up your life, i haven’t decided yet by livinginaworldofnoise

Summary:

Wei Ying,
I will come pick you up on the auspicious date.
Lan Zhan

Lan Zhan,
What auspicious date? Why are you always speaking in riddles? And why do we still have this giant pile of gifts from your sect? Are we forming some sort of alliance, or is this an underhanded bribery tactic?
Wei Ying

To the Madam of the Yunmeng Jiang Clan,
As an elder of the Gusu Lan Clan, I consulted a matchmaker and did not learn of any auspicious days suitable for this marriage. Perhaps it is ill-fated.
Lan Qiren

To the Gusu Lan Clan Elder,
I have received your concerns.
Perhaps a matchmaker in Yunmeng could offer a different perspective. Why don’t you send me Lan-er-gongzi’s Eight Characters?
Yu Ziyuan

OR: yu ziyuan and lan qiren negotiate wangxian's marriage (but they don't exactly share a common goal)

Notes:

AUTHOR'S NOTES: hello hello here is my final prompt fic for the wangxian against ice gotcha!! thank you @DrivingMeBonkas for the prompt "YZY negotiates a marriage between WangXian"! i of course had to take an epistolary approach, for fun

the title is a modified lyric from "imgonnagetyouback" by taylor swift! the original is "whether i'm gonna be your wife or gonna smash up your bike, i haven't decided yet" but sadly no bikes appear in this story. this is the fourth (4th) fic i have titled with lyrics from this song and that's because the lyrics are really funny to me and i simply had to take this opportunity

this fic is very unserious lol as per usual and i don't have time to really proofread it bc i'm tired soooo don't take it seriously

PODFICCER'S NOTES: I'm tired and it's late so just gonna say thanks to livinginaworldofnoise as always and I hope y'all enjoy!

Work Text:

Cold read of whether i’m gonna be your wife or gonna smash up your life, i haven’t decided yet , by livinginaworldofnoise



20:06 | 16 Mb
Also available to stream or download here