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It has become their routine at this point. Whenever one of their colleagues finally leaves them, one by one, Yuji will disappear for 1 or 2 days, to somewhere Megumi himself, as Yuji's legitimate husband, doesn't know.
He has always been intrigued to ask, yet he knows not to. Knows that it is the moment Yuji wants to be left alone, to clear his head. Even without him knowing where Yuji hides, he already has the inklings. It could be to ojiichan's, or Gojo-sensei's, or his older brother' burial sites.
He will not ask, unless Yuji tells him himself. Unless Yuji asks to pick him up, which he never does. So all Megumi can do after they separate outside the funeral homes everytime, is to go back alone to their place and wait till Yuji comes home.
To him.
To his embrace.
Megumi always make sure, he is off duty during those days of waiting, so that Yuji will never come back to an empty house, to find himself alone again when he needs someone else the most.
It's easy for him to take a day off nowadays.
Their world and lives have become much more peaceful now.
Megumi has cut all connections tying himself as a Zenin, and opts to live as a Fushiguro, with Yuji, a sorcerer couple traveling together in and out the country to help wherever and whoever needs their assistance. Moving from one place to another and never stays too long at one town. All for the sake of attracting less attention to Yuji's forever youthful face. As his appearance hasn't aged a day since he reaches 18 years old, a stark contrast to the grey hair on top of his Megumi's head and the wrinkles forming at the corners of his mouth and eyes.
Their resting home now is right outside Toyama, a rural area where neighboring houses are few and far between. It's easier to convince their neighbors, compared to the city folks, that he is living with his young nephew who has just graduated high school, instead of being judged into participating in illegal solicitation.
'Last time it was Ieiri-san's funeral, this time it was Ijichi-san's,' as Megumi sighs to his blank smartphone screen for the umpteenth time tonight. The clock has ticked to 23.30 on the third day of Yuji's disappearance. The longest he goes into hiding in the last decade after a colleague's funeral.
Megumi knows Yuji always has a soft spot for the older man. A comrade their Sensei had trusted the most and Yuji took that to heart. Ijichi-san who was always polite and kind even when talking to the younger generations.
Ijichi-san has died of old age, peacefully in his sleep, surrounded by his loved ones. Yuji didn't cry at the funeral home. Yet, having been together for the last few decades, Megumi can already read through him.
Despite it all he can see how Yuji crumbles inside. Broken.
Yuji has always been like that for as long as he knows.
Always being hurt the most.
Always suffers the most because of his delicate heart.
Which is why, for the past three days, he hasn't taken any jobs, too worried to be held outside and can't come home on time when Yuji comes back.
He has lost count of how many times he wants to punch the speed dial button to call Yuji. Yet he knows it'd be only disturbing his privacy. His moments. Ones that Yuji needs the most, according to him.
He doesn't need to worry about Yuji's safety anymore, logically. Nothing can harm his beloved now, as he has grown to become the strongest, just like their Sensei whom Yuji respects the most.
Still, his love can't be measured through logic. His emotions going rampant as the day hits the third in a row without any hints or news from his lover, worry gnawing inside him, climbing and spreading to his whole being like a poison ivy.
He hasn't had a wink of sleep for the past few nights. Too restless and the house is too still and silent without Yuji's voice, Yuji's bright laughter, Yuji's warm smiles, Yuji's running around the house with their dogs and cats, Yuji's favorite TV shows and movies blasting their living room. Yuji's melodious voice while humming in the kitchen, singing in the shower...
It's a blessing that his head can still function normally.
He tries to busy himself, caring for their pets, cleaning their already pristine house, prepping the ingredients for Yuji to cook when he gets back...
In the end, he just climbs to bed, alone for the third nights in a row. The book opens in his lap to keep him awake, yet not a single sentence is registering inside his mind. He puts his smartphone away from the nightstand, trying to bar himself from reaching out to Yuji once again.
'He'll come home when he's ready, he will.'
He's been repeating the line like a mantra.
Finally ready to give in that he won't get any sleep for another night when the click to the front door is heard.
It's 02.00 in the morning.
He hears the soft thuds of someone approaching and the rustling of fabric, when finally the bedroom door creaks open slowly.
He can tell Yuji is trying hard to be silent with his movements.
Yuji stops at the doorway when he notices him still up on the bed.
His white hoodie almost shadows all his face under the dim light of the nightstand lamp, but he catches his stare nonetheless.
"Welcome back," he says first, then clears his throat immediately. Voice hoarse of unused for the last three days being alone with himself.
Yuji is stunned in silence, before he sighs,
"I'm home," he mumbles, hands reaching to his hood and slowly takes it off his head.
"How many times I have to tell you, Megumi, you don't need to wait for me and just go to sleep," he says in a low, sulky voice while taking off his outer and stripping until only his black inner shirt and boxer left.
"It's not like I can sleep when you're not here, anyway," he promptly follows, his hands already flipping open their comforter.
Yuji shuffles on the door for a moment, looking awkward, before closing it and climbing to their bed.
Straight to his waiting, open arms.
He feels the moment Yuji's tense body melts as the younger buries his face on his chest.
He immediately wraps himself tightly around his lover's back and waist, embracing him fully, trying to rub as much warmth to the cold skin under his arms.
"It takes longer this time, everything okay?" He asks softly, one hand finds its way to card Yuji's slightly longer pink-hair and the other caressing his back.
It takes a few seconds until he feels Yuji's hesitant nod on his chest.
"I'm sorry for being selfish, for making you wait..." He feels Yuji mutter, muffled by his shirt.
"It's alright, we've talked about this, remember...hey, Yuji," he stops carding Yuji's hair to lift his face from his chest, the longer bangs fall around the younger's eyes. Megumi sweeps them away, revealing the pretty amber gold eyes and even prettier face underneath. He smoothly kisses his beloved's forehead, just a light touch of his lips.
Yuji immediately flutters his eyes close and Megumi doesn't miss the cue. He promptly dives in and kisses Yuji on his lips.
Yuji responds slightly and hesitantly and he knows this isn't the time for passionate and burning touches. Yuji just needs reassurance that he's still there with him, breathing and alive.
Yuji breaks off the kiss first and goes back to snuggle his face on his pecs, breathing him in deeply and tightening his arms around him.
"Yuji, baby, just...let it out," he whispers, hands back to rubbing soothing circles on his lover's shivering build.
Yuji had grown taller and broader until a couple years after graduation, though admittedly, he still gains an extra inch and size over his younger lover. Yet in his arms, right now, Yuji looks so small again, like he was during his first year of high school when they first met.
Yuji's body wrapped in his arm is cold from the outside winter night, trembling and wracking with silent sobs. Megumi's sweatshirt absorbing the warm tears his lover can no longer contain.
This is his duty, his privilege, always, as Yuji's husband. To be his anchor, the chest to lean on, as everything and everyone begins to slip through their fingers one after another.
He'll hold Yuji as his figure trembling from grief and repressed sadness, longing for his loved ones that have left him, until his sobs cease and his hitched breaths even out, until his own shirt soaked with Yuji's tears.
Until Yuji falls asleep out of exhaustion. He'll pepper the younger's face and lips with his kisses while holding him tightly as Yuji cries himself to sleep, to soothe him, to ensure him that he isn't leaving him anytime soon.
Megumi does this each time there's another news of his comrades finally leaving this world.
This is their routine now.
And he himself knows his day of leaving his Yuji, his most beloved, will come one day, continue approaching as another day passes them by.
But until that day comes, he will be here to embrace Yuji in his warmth, to never let him think he'll be left alone again.
And tomorrow morning, when Yuji has calmed down and thinks in more clarity, he will embrace him under him, offer more intimacies, make love to him slowly and let Yuji feel every inch of him inside him, every warmth, every fleeting and desperate touches of his hands and lips, every friction of their skins, to convey just how much he loves him, how deep his devotion runs for him.
That it doesn't matter how long he has to wait and endure sleepless nights, as long as Yuji comes back to his arms at the end of the day.
This is their routine, and he will do his utmost to fulfill his duty as Yuji's husband, to protect his beloved's fragile heart before anyone else.
Until his own day comes...
Until his hands could no longer embrace him.
Until he has no choice but to finally leave Yuji alone...