Work Text:
Server name: Polycule Wars Episode V: The Chungpire Strikes Back
Zam:
heyyyy guys
Minute:
What’s up?
Minute:
It’s getting kind of late over there, right? Did you have a good day?
Minute:
You’ve still got three days left before you fly home so hopefully you can go see everything you wanted to.
Bacon:
Bro Zam Minute is so fucking whipped he set the clock in his room to match the timezone in Budapest
Bacon:
Like the actual clock not the digital one so he put in more than four seconds of effort and everything
Bacon:
I think if youre gone for too much longer hes gonna install a sundial
Mapicc:
Lets all think really hard about how the sun works and if you can set it to different time zones
Minute:
Bro has a masters degree in sundial
Minute:
And you're gonna ruin my cool nonchalant branding.
Minute:
Actually wait no I’m allowed to miss my girlfriend dude.
Bacon:
Lol sucks to be you my girlfriend isn’t on a trip so I can’t relate even a little bit
Mapicc:
Dude
Mapicc:
So you fucking hateme
Bacon:
Well you’re not my girlfriend we were talking about girlfriends
Mapicc:
Sure
Mapicc:
Just tell me to die next time
Bacon:
Wahhh my name is maby im mapicc but a baby
Bacon:
Anyway what did you guys do today
Mapicc:
Zam do we tell him
Zam:
Anything for baconnwaffles0!
Mapicc:
Okay fine
Mapicc:
We went to an art museum
Zam:
The big one mhm
Mapicc:
Yeah like the national one
Mapicc:
They had a cool exhibit it was art nouvaou
Zam:
So theres no way thats correct
Mapicc:
I dont speak french
Zam:
You dont speak a lot of things
Bacon:
I think I know which one ur talking about
Bacon:
Do you mean art nouveau?
Mapicc:
Ya
Mapicc:
Oh also before we even got inside the dumbest thing happened
Mapicc:
So theres these metal detectors you have to walk through which is whatever
Mapicc:
But zam had her prosthetic on so we were like hey thats like gonna set it off can she go around it
Mapicc:
Except idk how to say that in hungarian so I was just like uh bocsánat dude and then pointed at zams prosthetic
Zam:
I was also pointing at it ftr
Zam:
Ftr means for the record btw in case you didnt know
Zam:
But I wasnt gonna like take my arm off in the middle of a museum lobby like thats such a fucking pain
Zam:
Also what the fuck would I even be hiding in there like its my fucking arm hello?
Mapicc:
And then the prosthetic set off the metal detector which like no shit you can see that one of her arms has metal joints???
Mapicc:
But they still had her walk through it and then were like okay buster why is that metal made out of metal
Zam:
And then after I set it off they just looked at it for a second and were like whoah metal in there
Zam:
Which no shit
Zam:
And then they just let me through anyway so like what was the point exactly
Zam:
The things I do for art…….
Mapicc:
The art was cool though you gotta admit
Zam:
Yeah!
Mapicc:
We found one that had a black cat in it
Zam:
Like Jolyne!
Zam:
Give her chin scratches for me btw
Bacon:
Jolyne left one of minutes doordash receipts on my pillow this morning
Bacon:
And of course she shredded it into little pieces first
Zam:
Well of course
Mapicc:
Zam youre forgetting the best part
Mapicc:
We had her do the same pose as in the painting and I got a pic of her in front of it
Mapicc:
Fuck what was that paintnig called again
Mapicc:
Wait the brochure has it okay it was the Tungsram Poster by Faragó Géza
Minute:
That sounds cool. Can you send the pic?
Zam:
Well about that…
Mapicc:
She’s jealous of my cool camera
Zam:
It’s literally my camera what the hell
Mapicc:
Yeah well I appreciate it more
Mapicc:
But its film though so I have to get it developed first
Mapicc:
Dont worry mr minutetech you will be the first person to know when the pictures are ready
Zam:
I dont wanna waiiiiiit
Zam:
my life is so fucking hard
Zam:
and im sick too >_<
Minute:
You’re sick?
Mapicc:
She ate her body weight in palacsinta after the museum shes not gonna die
Mapicc:
She’s been in the bathroom for like an hour but when I opened the door to check on her she was just lying on the floor like a little shrimp
Zam:
You dont have to share all my business bro it’s okay
Zam:
Let me digest in peace
Mapicc:
The good people of the Chungpire want to know
Mapicc:
Well the good people and also Brandon
Minute:
What the fuck?
Zam:
Actually the doctor just called she said im gonna die if a cute guy doesnt come play with my hair to distractg me……..
Bacon:
What do you want me to wear to the funeral?
Bacon:
Um…guys? It’s been five minutes why is no one laughing at my joke
Bacon:
Or I mean my serious
(Mapicc to PrinceZam)
Mapicc:
Zam if youre not actually dead in there I have an idea
Mapicc:
Lets go silent and see if bacon and minute notice
Zam:
Omg yes
Mapicc:
I’ll text hannah too in case she gets online
(Mapicc to Hannah)
Mapicc:
Hey hannah
Hannah:
Hey Mapicc! How is your trip going? ^-^
Hannah:
Sorry if you already said something in the group chat about it, I haven’t caught up on all the messages yet.
Hannah:
I just got out of work and there’s like ten million messages in there
Mapicc:
Lol yeah sorry
Mapicc:
Hannah this is of vital importance I need you to not talk in the group chat for a bit
Hannah:
Um. What?
Mapicc:
We’re gonna watch and see what Bacon and Minute do
Mapicc:
Like what they talk about if theyre left alone
Hannah:
Oh my god
Mapicc:
If youre in a gambling mood I have ten bucks on Bacon cracking first and Zam has twenty on Minute cracking
Hannah:
Put me down for thirty on Bacon cracking
(Bacon to Hannah)
Bacon:
Hannah
Bacon:
Its urgent
Bacon:
Emergency emergency emergency
Hannah:
…?
Bacon:
How do I talk to minute
Hannah:
What do you mean lol
Bacon:
Like….
Bacon:
Fuck, I dunno! I thought you might have some like
Bacon:
Insight
Bacon:
Since ur dating both of us
Hannah:
Don’t worry Bacon, I’m sure you’ll be fine!
Hannah:
Just pick something interesting and talk about it :)
(general chat)
Bacon:
You ever think about how weird the & is
Bacon:
And why the fuck is it called an ampersand anyway like
Bacon:
What’s its deal
Minute:
I really don’t ever think about that no
Bacon:
Are you sure you dont ever think about it
Bacon:
Like it could be the coolest new thing
Bacon:
Do you think I could trademark it and make a ton of money on royalties if it was like part of my brand
Bacon:
I could open a business and call it B&con or something
Bacon:
Could be huge
Bacon:
Those curves hide a certain mystery
(gc w hannah zam mapicc)
Mapicc:
BRO THE CURVES HIDE A CERTAIN WHAT?
Zam:
We have to save him
Zam:
It’s getting scary
Hannah:
No I think Bacon can still dig his grave deeper than this let him keep going
(general chat)
Bacon:
Looking it up and apparently it comes from roman cursive or something
Minute:
This guy is studying for a symbols test and it’s not looking good.
Bacon:
Dude
Bacon:
Careful with the sass im the admin of this server I could ban you
Minute:
Bro we live in the same apartment I could just walk over to your computer and unban myself?
Bacon:
Okay tough guy
Bacon:
Actually wait you are stronger than me hm
Bacon:
This is a real predicament
Bacon:
Um…
Bacon:
Why is no one else saying anything????
Mapicc:
We’re busy bro
Mapicc:
Eating popcorn and watching u guys scuttle around like bugs in a jar
Zam:
Yeah, keep it up!
Hannah:
Stop we should let them sweat a little bit more
Hannah:
SHIT
Hannah:
Wrong server haha!
Bacon:
Et tu, Hannah?
Hannah:
Don’t worry Bacon we can split the winnings
Bacon:
THE FUCKING WINNINGS?