Chapter Text
She leaned over something that would one day be a car. The prickle of the hairs on her arms alerted her to presence of someone else, but she was so immersed in rebuilding this ...thing...that she jumped at the actual touch. She realized too late that she was pinned against her project
“I want you.”
She breathed a sigh, allowing the hand to become an arm snaking around her middle. Taking a deep breath, she smelled mint and wind. She put down the tool in her hand, turning to face her lover.“Then take me.”
Talia woke with a jump, and then lay back down to slow her heartbeat. All her recent dreams were ending this way, with her waking up just as she started turning around.
“Damn it!” She needed to move, or else she would spend the rest of the night awake in bed wondering what her dream meant. She looked at her watch; it was two-thirty in the morning, really too early to get breakfast. She could either read, work out (maybe later on that one), or work on her new project, maybe start looking at engine blocks. Yes. She could do that.
The lights came on automatically when she walked into her other room. Pulling down The Idiot’s Guide to Auto Repair, she began to skim the contents, momentarily distracted by the opening line: ‘Make sure that your vehicle is turned off before attempting any type of repair. Electrical shock may occur.’ Were enough people dumb enough to need that reminder?
She finished with the intro and took a good look at the table of contents, hoping that a useful chapter would jump out at her so she could start really putting that engine together. Chapter 7, ‘Engine solutions,’ looked promising.
But just as she was starting to read, her alarm went off; she must have dozed off for a bit. Remembering her list of projects, she grabbed a pair of black slacks, black knee high boots, and her favorite red top. This was a Dauntless day. After dressing herself, she made herself approach the one place she hated in her whole apartment - the mirror above her bathroom sink. She wasn’t one who cared about appearances in general, but her own face wasn’t something she wanted to look at.
But after splashing water on her face, she looked up at her reflection anyway. As always, her eyes flicked to the right, where the scar from her lips to her cheek, the “gift” from her brother and her mother, always brought back such terrible memories. Looking away, she pulled her hair back into a band and smoothed it out of her face.
Grabbing her jacket, Talia walked out of her apartment and stood listening for any noise other than the water under the bridge. Once this great chasm was a raging river and a place that Dauntless members would test their might. Now it was a shield between her and a busy, loud world when she needed one.
She hid in the shadows of her entryway, hoping no one saw her leave her apartment. I really need to move on from that. With that thought, she stepped into the sight of anyone who might pass the bridge that separated her from the rest of the Dauntless compound.
This was her favorite time of day. No one but the overnight security detail was up, and they were few and never made any noise. Talia was the only member of Dauntless who lived on the south side of the chasm, but she felt safer there. She loved her Dauntless family, but since she was one of the first initiates to be part of two factions, there were still times that she felt like an outsider.
A few years ago, when the governing council had decided to conduct an experiment to see if someone could thrive as a member of two factions, Talia had been first on the list from Erudite. The government’s idea was to help each faction become stronger. She’d wanted nothing more than to escape that faction simply because of her mother.
She wasn’t the only one awake at this hour after all, she noticed, pulling herself out of the bad memories. Christina, one of the Dauntless leaders Talia actually liked, met her in the middle of the bridge. Christina was the type of person that one either liked or hated. Her family was Candor, and although she used some of those traits throughout her day, she was truly Dauntless; laid back, but daring and ruthless when needed.
Studying Talia with a concerned expression, she asked, “Talia, is everything ok?” As she spoke, she placed a gentle hand on Talia’s elbow to keep her from walking away.
“Yes,” Talia replied. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“I know the feeling,” Christina said with a sigh. “Too many nights, Will and I wake each other with our dreams.” Her eyes began to well up with tears. “And we just stay up after that.”
“Tris was the root of Dauntless, wasn’t she?” Talia asked.
“How did you know I was talking about Tris?” Christina asked. “I never mentioned her name.”
“Most Dauntless don’t mention her name, but if they’re talking about her, their eyes get teary. I didn’t mean any disrespect, Christina.”
“Tris was a good friend. We were in the same initiate class. She was the first jumper, and since she was from Abnegation, it was a pretty big deal. Your Dauntless name is Triage?”
“Yeah. Long story short, I can see faults or damage and fix them faster than most,” Talia replied. “Also I react first, think later.”
“I’m ready to hear that story. But back to what you were saying about Tris. She, Will, Four, and myself helped save Abnegation from Jeanine Matthews and her band of lunatics. Jeanine went into hiding, and we’ve spent years trying to find her. We were hoping that when the joint faction resolution was adopted we would have more initiates, but most twofers don’t last through training. They just can’t seem to shake the habits of the faction they came from.” Christina shrugged. “You hungry?”
“Yep, just heading to the cafeteria to grab breakfast.” Talia replied. It's nice to actually have someone talk to me besides my crew.
“I’ll join you,” Christina said as they started walking. The cafeteria was in the northwest corner of the compound and about a hundred yards from Talia’s shop.
“Most twofers?” Talia questioned. “Better than other names, I guess.”
“Do you prefer me to call you Talia or Triage?” Christina asked. “Never mind. Honestly, Triage doesn’t really suit you. So I think I’ll call you Talia.”
“Ok.” Talia shrugged. “There are only a few people who call me Talia, but if you and the leadership call me Talia, I’m cool with it.”
“In front of other Dauntless members we can call you Triage.” Christina stopped. “Like you have to have inside knowledge or something. I’m guessing most people call you Triage?”
“Yeah.” Christina’s conversation was making Talia dizzy. Pretty sure the person who gave me this name didn't exactly know what it meant. “Ok,” she repeated.
“You tensed up when I mentioned Jeanine Matthews. Why?”
“I’d like to help,” Talia said, trying to deflect the question.
“Why?” Christina asked again. “You haven’t been Dauntless that long; it’s been what, five years? And since you came from Erudite, Jeanine was your leader. Why help us find her, when you know we plan to kill her?”
“I wasn't raised Erudite. Born Erudite, given to Amity, forced to go back to Erudite at sixteen. I chose Dauntless when I was twenty. Dauntless is my faction, Dauntless is my family. Frankly, Jeanine Matthews can go to hell, and I’d like to be the one to throw her body into the chasm.”
“I’m guessing you have a good reason?” Christina asked.
“More than one,” Talia snarled.
Christina studied Talia’s scowl. “Very well, meet me at my place after lunch, and we can get to know you better.”
“We?” Talia asked. “And why do I feel like I just volunteered for something I know nothing about?”
Christina just smiled, wide, almost laughing. “Yes, we. You’ll see. I'll give you a chance to back out if you want. Just come over.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Talia said.
Distracted by their arrival in the cafeteria, Christina squealed, “Look! Eggs.”
“I hope there’s bacon,” Talia mused. She was starving. Her hope was fulfilled; the closer she got to the serving area, the more she could smell the bacon cooking. After the talk with Christina on top of the dream, Talia was hoping that a bacon sandwich or two would help clear her head and help her get ready for the day.
“Talia, I’ll see you later. I got some things I need to do.” Christina walked off eating her egg sandwich.
Talia walked out of the cafeteria a little later with three eggs, four bacon sandwiches, and a large cup of water with a wedge of lemon. With breakfast in hand in neatly stacked containers, it was time to go and talk with Tori about the tattoo idea. Juggling the containers, she scarfed the eggs and then knocked on Tori’s door.
In spite of the early hour, Tori poked her head out immediately. From the instant welcome, Talia got the feeling Tori had been awaiting both her and the food with equal enthusiasm.
“Hey, Talia, what will it be today?” Tori asked, giving her a hug.
Talia still remembered the day that she was apprenticed to Tori. She had walked into Tori’s shop and been put to work immediately. She wasn’t allowed to give anyone a tattoo yet; she was sent to clean all the equipment instead. She cleaned everything so well that Tori was astonished. Talia’s art was even more astonishing. She could draw anything a customer needed, but it was her creativity that really impressed Tori. After that day Tori was like a second mother, always making time for Talia whenever she needed a break or to talk.
“I want that Phoenix we talked about, please. But I think we need to show maybe a baby phoenix rising out of the ashes first and then later on an adult version?”
“I can do that,” Tori replied, eying the placement. “Adult version? How would you place that?”
“I was thinking we could cover the scars on my back with its feathers?”
“I like it. Let’s sit and draw it out so I know what colors we’re talking about. Also, that means you’ll have to show me the scars. But if we put the ashes down first we can go from there.” Tori was clearly excited, and just as clearly it was the art itself that excited her. “What will you offer in payment for the ashes? And are we doing the baby head or just the ashes? If we do just the ashes we can leave a small point where I can start on the head.”
“Two bacon sandwiches and two credits for payment. I think your idea of waiting on the head is a good one. I'm not sure if I want it to be done with the infuser or the standard needle.”
“Will I be getting eggs today as well?” Tori asked, knowing the response.
“Oh, Tori, I already ate them. Please just take the sandwiches and the credits.” Talia hated to beg, but she loved eggs.
“Damn. Ok, two sandwiches and two credits.” Talia could see Tori trying to hold in the smile.
“Well,” Tori continued, “since ashes are the easiest thing to do, we can use the infuser for them. For the rest we need to do the artwork to see how it should be done.”
Talia sighed with relief. “Thanks.” She handed over her payment and lay down in the chair, preparing herself for pain.
Tori started to gather her tools while Talia shifted herself into the right frame of mind. She had to remind herself, this is Tori. It’s not my mother. This is something I want.
“Talia, I need to know something,” Tori said, cleaning the area where she would place the tattoo. “How did you get your scars?”
“A lovely gift from my mother. She couldn’t do it herself, but she had my older brother do it for her.”
“Brother?” Tori’s voice sounded a little stunned. “You never told me you had a brother.”
“He was in Dauntless. He was born Erudite and was raised in the faction, but he transferred to Dauntless hoping to help my mother find the Divergents.” At least she missed one.
Talia appreciated that Tori kept her talking to keep her mind off the pain. She looked back over her shoulder in time to see Tori place the infuser on her back. Tori pressed the ink trigger and the conversation began again, switching abruptly to another topic, since Tori obviously noticed Talia’s discomfort at talking about her family.
“So, what’s on the to do list for today?” Tori asked.
“Not much. It’s a Dauntless kind of day, a couple knives, a few radios, an engine, and a meeting with Christina.”
“Good day’s work. Wait a minute. Christina? As in Dauntless Leader Christina?”
“Yeah.”
“Can’t wait to hear this one,” Tori said, rolling her eyes. “Nice work. Speaking of which, would you stay with repair or move to something different in the future?”
“Repair is really just a hobby for me, Tori. Keeps my mind busy and keeps me out of my apartment.”
“Let’s talk more about that soon,” Tori said. “I’ve told you before that your art should be first and the repair shop second.”
“Yeah I know.” After a moment of indecision,Talia faltered, “Tori, I’ve been having this dream, not every night but several nights a week.”
Again Tori seemed to realize this was an upsetting topic. Her voice was gentle. “Talia, tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s hard to explain. It’s about something that I want but am too scared to get, I guess. You remember me telling you about how I grew up, right?”
“Yeah, no emotion and stuff. Which honestly is weird since Amity are like free spirits.”
“Yep, but being in Dauntless these last few years has made me feel that I can have what I desire. Don't get me wrong, Amity allowed me to be free with my art but after the day was done I was forced to study for a while. I was never truly able to make friends or find love. Still, I’m not sure if desiring anything is good for me.”
“What do you desire?” Tori asked.
“Love?” Talia responded. “Friendship more than anything. Tori, you’re really my only friend. I love you, and I’m grateful, but I can’t keep holding things in until I see you again. I don’t know how to do that anymore. Things start to pile up and I let loose. I mean you should see the holes in the walls in the shop.”
“What about all those people who’ve been saying they want you for leadership? You’ve done some great things since becoming a member here,” Tori pointed out.
Talia just shrugged. “I turn in an application for leadership every few months and it goes nowhere. I was first in my class for cryin’ out loud.”
“We all want love and friendship, Talia, but both can be elusive. If love is your desire, wait. It’ll show itself. If it’s friendship, you have to be the one to go after that.”
“Yeah,” Talia sighed.
“Hey, why don’t we have dinner one night and we can just talk about everything that’s been going on with both of us. It’s been too long since we did that,” Tori said as she finished up today’s work and began to put her tools away.
“Of course,” Talia responded. “Thanks for the tat.”
*******
Once her new tattoo was finished, Talia headed to her shop and gathered her blow torch, welding tools, her leather coverings, and her goggles. She always meant to do a good job, but when she was doing the dangerous work on purpose she was careful. The knives, only eight, took half an hour to solder back together. She was still kicking herself for breaking her set. She would buff and polish them once they cooled, and in the meantime, the sweat pouring down her face and body from the heat was enough to warrant another shower.
However, when she went to test one of the knives, throwing it full force at her wall, it broke again. She set the whole set aside for another look later. The three radios took a good part of the morning to fix; she had to rewire one of them entirely. Her soldering tool was starting to fritz out on her too, and that would have to be fixed or replaced. After the radios were finished, Talia decided to call it a day. She washed her hands and face, and put away her tools, leathers, gloves, and goggles. As she was resetting her hair, she glanced at the time, gasped, and bolted for her meeting with Christina.
Talia hoped the meeting wouldn’t take too long, because there was an engine in her back room that she was dying to work on. She had wanted to spend her whole day on that engine, but her real work came first. New requests turned up all the time. Anything mechanical came to her, and even the occasional basic medical problem.
Just before lunchtime was over she arrived at Christina’s apartment. She was a few minutes early, but she knocked anyway.
“Yeah,” she heard through the door. Very few Dauntless said “come in.”
She opened this one and stuck her head inside. “You wanted to see me?”
“Hey, Talia. Come on in,” Christina said, waving her into the apartment. “This is Will,” she pointed to the man on her right, “And behind you is Four.”
Talia shook Will’s hand and then Four’s. Four’s handshake made her want to prove herself. She was unnerved; his eyes were deep blue and mesmerizing, but what really caught her attention was his smell. Mint and wind. Just like her dream. She reminded herself that she wasn’t here to get his attention, but Four wouldn’t let go of her hand. He stared at her intently, though she honestly wasn’t sure if he was looking at her or through her. Damn if she hadn’t crushed on him, like everyone else, she realized.
“Well,” Christina sighed, “Now that that’s all over we can begin.”
Four let go of Talia’s hand with a jump like he’d been shocked.
“As the representative for Dauntless, I need an assistant,” said Four. His eyes never wavered from Talia’s face. “Christina and Will think you would be perfect for the job.”
“If you want me to.” Talia replied, heart pounding. A job with Four. How could she get so lucky? He was not only the outside representative for Dauntless, he was the Head of Dauntless. The leaders reported to him. Oh shit! A possible job with Four? Is this really happening. Ack! Her brain was going a mile a minute.
“Christina called you Talia. Is that your name?”
“My birth name is Talia. Triage is the name given to me by Dauntless.”
“Last name.” Now he seemed annoyed. Like this whole thing was beneath him or a waste of his time.
“It’s not important.” The joy she had felt vanished, replaced by fear and anger. If they find out who I am will they send me back to Erudite? Could they possibly already know and not care?
Four shrugged and handed her some papers. “I see. Bring these back to me later. We’ll discuss your options and I’ll decide if you can have the job. Are you happy in the repair business?”
“Sometimes,” She responded. “I’ve applied for other things, but I get no response. It seems that my applications have been either overlooked or thrown away. The only other job I’ve had was working under Tori, the head tattoo artist.”
“Hmm.” He said. Then he nodded to everyone and walked out.
“My, he’s approachable,” Talia muttered. How long could she really work with and for someone who acted like that? He was cute, sure, but that would only get him so far. His attitude was crap.
Christina laughed until tears came out of her eyes, “Tris said the exact same thing our first night as initiates. I told her she had a death wish.”
“Talia,” Will said, turning toward her, “We want you at Four’s side.”
“Why?” Talia asked. “I only repair things.” I might get sick of his attitude and kill him. But something deep inside her began to wake, something she had never felt. She wanted this. Repairing things was a hobby, even a passion, but she wanted to help her Dauntless family in some really significant way. Killing Jeanine Matthews would do the trick.
“Do you like your job?” Christina asked.
“It's a job. I was Tori's apprentice until she saw me fix me one of her tools. Then I was moved to repair. I want to do more, but I haven’t had the chance so far. I’ll live. I do have some personal building and restoration projects that I want to start, but finding the time can be difficult.”
“We need to find Jeanine Matthews,” Will said flatly. “Four, Christina, and I know that with your background with Erudite, all the background checks and performance evaluations we ran, you can help us a lot. We hear rumors that you want to train as a leader, but you took repair.”
They know? Well crap! “Tori introduced me to Mac. He saw what I had fixed and a few of my drawings for things I wanted to do, and brought me on board. Before he died, he gave his shop to me.”
“I heard that he did that, but will you help us?”
“I’m all in, but there could be some things you might not like about me.” Talia replied.
*****
Talia was closing her shop when Four heard her whistling. He stopped to listen when the whistles turned to singing:
“I'm a long time travelling here below
I'm a long time travelling away from home
I'm a long time travelling here below
To lay this body down.”
He stepped in, coughing, “You never got those papers back to me.”
Talia jumped. She wasn’t used to men talking to her calmly, but then again she wasn’t used to men. She looked up to see him and couldn’t help admiring his irresistible body; she knew the stories about him and Tris but she always admired from afar. Like all the other girls in Dauntless.
“Yeah, sorry. It’s been a busy day.” She was blushing. “I got back here and had at least four Dauntless waiting, needing stuff fixed.”
All Four needed to do was look around to see that she never had a moment to breathe. Dauntless members needed things fixed all the time. Knife blades, hilts, car parts, and wires were stowed neatly in various states of repair everywhere he looked. He felt something stir in his stomach. He watched her a little longer, considering his thoughts. “Tris was an excellent partner in Dauntless matters, but as a girlfriend she lacked trust. She never let anyone in.”
“So how…” Words failed him. Talia hadn’t stopped to look at him. All she was doing was picking stuff up, but he had to admire her beauty and determination. He had to keep talking or he might regret his actions. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. “So how did you get the name Triage?” He asked, trying to be nonchalant. Christina and Will had given him her story, but he wanted to hear it from her in case Christina and Will were toying with him. He was pretty sure Talia would tell him the truth; he had already begun to trust her without really knowing her, which scared him.
“I was first jumper in my initiate class.” Her words - though maybe her friendliness had cooled somewhat - brought him back into the moment. “The next two jumpers landed safely, but I noticed that the net was starting to fray. When Trevor jumped, his first bounce was fine, but then when he came back down the net gave way and he fell through. I was able to get the net knotted back together so the rest could jump safely, and I had Trevor up on the landing with his leg set before the next jumper hit the net. That’s why when I took over mending the net I made sure that there is a second net and then a backup just in case.”
“I’m guessing that the section you repaired is hanging there on your wall,” Four said, pointing over her shoulder.
She turned around to look where he was pointing, then turned back to him with a smile. “Yeah. Along with everything I’ve built for myself.”
Four was amazed. He saw all of the things she built for herself and only knew what a few of them were. The next words that came out of his mouth scared him, though. “You look like Tris,” he blurted, and immediately regretted it.
Talia just gave a small laugh; not a really amused one, though. “Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.”
“Sorry,” he muttered, putting his hands in his pockets and looking away. “Can we get together later to talk?”
“I’m going to dinner soon. Wanna have dinner with me or meet after? We can meet at my place.”
There was nothing attached to that, even he could see that, but Four was a little angry. How could he just betray Tris by walking into Talia’s apartment? “Umm, not sure that’s a wise decision.”
“Then you pick a place,” she replied.
“Where do you live?” he asked, giving in. In the back of his mind he knew he was being stupid. It shouldn’t matter where they met. And he wanted to know her better.
“On the other side of the chasm.” Four raised his eyebrows, and Talia admonished, “Don’t look so shocked. If you want to talk, or have us get to know each other, that’ll be comfortable. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get this place clean before my boss throws a fit.”
“Who’s your boss?” he asked, bemused, watching her continue to tidy up her workshop.
She laughed, coolness easing with her amusement. “I am. But I don’t like a mess. I make a mess all day, but after I close, you’d never know.”
After she closed the workshop and they arranged the time for their meeting, they parted ways.
“Wait, Four!” she hollered, a little too loud, since he was still close enough to hear her. “You asked me earlier what my last name was. I told you it wasn’t important, but I’ve been thinking about it, and if you really don’t know, you should before you move forward with any ideas about me as your assistant.”
“Go on,” he said with a smile.
“My last name is Matthews.”
“I see.”
“So Jeanine Matthews is my mother. I’m not proud of it or what she did.”
“I’ve known that for a while, Talia, and I don’t care. If you want to help us we’ll talk after dinner.”
“Ok.” she replied. I just drop a bomb on you and you could care less. You, Mighty Four, need to be taken down a few pegs.
He heard her singing as she walked away, and worried about how reluctant he was to see her go.