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Alastor wanted to marry Lucifer Morningstar.
That was an easy choice to take. What other decision would give him power, influence, reach and almost infinite resources at the tip of his fingers? In the list he was making in his mind, the number of pros was rather large and easy to add to. He could gain a good companion for any musical he wanted to see. He would have someone to appreciate the recipes of his dear old mother. Lucifer was funny. Lucifer was a great dance partner. He even had come to respect the unbreakable naivete of his daughter, which was almost as good as actually fathering her! They were practically a family already. Almost every night they shared together in the same bed. By all means, it would barely be an inconvenience at all!
And then there was the cons list, in which there was only one major item, but it was a considerable one.
That being that it was Lucifer Morningstar the one he wanted to marry. A problem so big that he didn't have enough fingers or tentacles to count all the others that were inside. A full blown nesting doll of cons rolled up into one.
For starters, because of that stupid limitation from Heaven itself, Lucifer's powers did not work with sinners. Meaning that, as much as Alastor wanted to, Lucifer could not in fact just read his mind to know what he was planning. Alastor could stare into those golden eyes for as long as he wanted, concentrate as hard as he could (marry me, marry me, marry me, marry me) and all that would happen was that Lucifer would ask if he got something stuck in his face.
Because, of course, that would have been too easy. With that option out of the way, it came the biggest hurdle to face, meaning: if he wanted that to happen, he would have to actually ask Lucifer. As it was, he didn't have big hopes that Lucifer would do it himself.
Not because Lucifer didn't know that they were perfect for each other and he was never going to know anyone better than Alastor. Alastor could be sure of that. Mostly because he would kill and exterminate any other that would even attempt to take that place away from him, as he had assured Lucifer more than one time already.
No, it was rather because right after the divorce of Lilith, while staring at the place where his ring used to be, Lucifer looked, well, even sadder than usual. That kind of sad that doesn't shred a single tear and seems mostly stunted, unable to even understand what happened. The face of someone that had been cut a limb off all of the sudden and against all logic, was still expecting it to move.
It had taken months to get him out of there. But by whatever wicked god that there was above, they did it. On the way, Alastor realized that Lucifer was not only a good company to keep, but also the kind of company he didn't want to be without. They never called each other boyfriend or partner or put any kind of label on what they were. There wasn't really any need for it.
It seemed just enough to be around each other. Talk with each other. Learn to be comfortable with the touch of another until his whole body craves it like blood. It all had moved so seamlessly, so easy, that before Alastor knew he wasn't thinking about going to Lucifer's room, it was their room. And he was surprisingly okay with it.
If anyone was going to charm the radio demon enough to make them want to stick around, then he couldn't think of a better candidate than the devil himself. He was responsible for giving humanity, and therefore him too, the ability of rejoicing in their cruelty and violence, free from any influence from their creator. Lucifer would not like to hear it, but Alastor always deeply respected that about him.
That is why he was so soured on him at first impression. That is why he had to shove him down a peg and show him hey, we don't need you, nobody does. But once they moved past that, it was only a matter of time for Alastor to make a Lucifer shaped space in his afterlife, look at it and say "this isn't so bad." For a good while, that was enough.
He had his own unrestricted power, his reputation, a life only to be commanded by himself. He should not want for any of it to change in any way. It's not like Lucifer would deny him the usage of his own title if he ever needed to. Lucifer had already given him a special permit to be able to visit other rings as a sinner, going on a bit of a tour and enjoying the many ways in which every sin had molded hell around them. Logically speaking, there was no real reason why he should want to change any of it.
And yet.
He sighed, stopping in one corner of the room in which he had been walking around for at least the last hour. He could just let things remain as they were. Lucifer could just be his Lucifer, no other names required, and they could be together and that would be it. Easy, comfortable, nameless, as it had always been.
He had never been a man that needed tradition to validate his own life. By far, he prefers to make his own path whenever possible. He didn't need a paper or ring or ceremony or change anything to be safe, happy and fulfilled.
So why did he want to marry Lucifer? Well, that too was easy to answer unfortunately: because he couldn't imagine an afterlife in which that didn't happen. Maybe he didn't need to, but he wanted it. And if there was one thing everyone could count on, is that when the radio demon wanted something, he would get it.
The issue remained as to how to ask the question then, since Lucifer neither had the initiative or could know it from his mind without any word. Leaving him with the herculean task of actually using his words to express to his Lucifer he wanted him to be his husband.
Ew. Disgusting.
---
In the end, Alastor resolved the best course of action was to just rip off the band aid. Why put too much fanfare when nothing in their relationship had ever worked like that? Alastor never even had to ask Lucifer for a formal divorce from his wife, the man had naturally done so out of his own accord before inviting Alastor to spend the night in his bedroom. The understanding that Alastor would have never done so without the disappearance of that old golden ring was already implicit, and Lucifer had caught it, since he too wasn't the kind of man that would go around cheating on his own partner. For as oblivious as Lucifer could be about a lot of things, he just naturally was aware of the best way to handle the situation.
But not for this. It depended entirely on Alastor to take that next step. Even if he found the perfect way to implant on the king the idea, Alastor would rather die again than to be subjected to the kind of humiliation of just waiting for the day in which Lucifer decided to propose, stewing for the when to come, mad at himself because again he put himself in a situation in which only someone else could put him out of his misery. No, that was unacceptable. He had to do it.
Finding the perfect ring was absurdly easy. Once the best jeweler of the entire ring was found, it was just a matter of giving out enough threats of violence and twisting enough bones to ensure a product to his exact requirements. Platinum instead of gold, with engravings of Alastor's name in the one for Lucifer and Lucifer's one for the one destined for his finger for the interior, alongside a date. Around the ring, a fine line of ruby fused with the metal, twisted in the shape of antler around which snakes, made in gold, rested leisurely. Was that a little extra for what was supposed to be a simple question? Maybe, but it was also a work of art that Alastior would be proud to have. Literally anyone could have a boring golden ring. This was going to be a unique work of art that only the two of them would share.
After putting it on an unassuming velvety box, Alastor was ready. Lucifer had invited him to come with him to the city, running a few errands that Charlie had trusted him to. The opportunity was perfect, it felt right. They had already bought most of the cleaning supplies Niffty required, more sheets, a few new curtains when the old ones end up too flammable and a few cupcakes, because Lucifer just couldn't resist. All of which was immediately teleported to the hotel so neither of them had to look like peasants carrying bags around, God forbid. Lucifer was in an exceptionally good mood, feeling useful, like a good dad, and there was a hum behind his lips that had become endearing for Alastor, despite his best efforts. It was as good as it was going to get.
"Dearest." he called, using his rarest pet name. And in public no less! Lucifer should be so honored.
"Yeah, babe?" Lucifer had turned his head ever so slightly, the smile big and still so beautiful on his profile.
"I have something to ask..." said Alastor, searching for the little box in his pocket.
At the same time, Lucifer spoke out "Oh, look, a new chocolate store opened up!" Immediately followed by, "Yeah, honey?" And then, "Do you think that Charlie will appreciate some bombons?"
Sometimes talking to Lucifer was like trying to chase down Niffty, jumping frome one topic to another like staying in a single place could be torture of the worst caliber. The more excited or the more happy he was about something, that quirk was all the more relevant. Good thing then that Alastor had the mental capacity to catch on.
Bad thing is that, in swallowing to ease the sudden tightness in his throat, trying to force his dead heart to calm down in his chest, he failed to realize how close they were to the street or how Lucifer was speeding up his steps to try to reach the chocolate store. If anyone asked Alastor, however, he would have no issue whatsoever into saying that it was all purely Lucifer's fault. Of course, it couldn't be any other way.
In any case, the result was the same.
"Would you marry me?"
By the time he managed to get the words out, Lucifer was already crossing the road. Just as the traffic light changed into green; not that residents of Hell were really concerned about following that kind of rule. Lucifer did not notice, though.
"What?" He turned on his heels, his big golden eyes waiting, almost sure already that he had to have heard wrong.
He looked a little like a lost child, and yet, it was Alastor the one who found himself without words. Not ever, not once in his entire life on Earth, or existence in Hell, had that happened to him. He had made a decision and so he couldn't let it go now.
"I said..." he started, his pulse stuck in the middle of his throat that was rapidly failing to him.
It didn't matter anyway.
The car reached Lucifer first. Such curious things that were angels. Lucifer could withstand without blinking the falling of a building on top of his head or make his own body as light as one of the feathers on his back. It all depended entirely on his own will. In any other moment, the driver behind the wheel would be the one sent off flying while their vehicle got destroyed, as if hitting a wall. But on that one, Lucifer didn't want it to be. He was too distracted for that.
His body got thrown out into the air like a toy on a tough play by some rough child. Somehow he landed on his feet, upright. He was in the process of sending Alastor a thumbs up when a second one made collision. Then came a third. And going completely in the wrong direction, because there was always one that did, a fourth. That last one had implanted angelic steel into the front of their car, both a show that the owner could afford such details and also a threat. That was the main culprit that made it so Lucifer crashed against the new store he was eyeing. The smell of chocolate mixed in the air with the sound of crystal breaking and the screams of passerbies that didn't have the resistance of Lucifer's skin.
Somehow, the crash caused the back of the store to explode. It was a front to make drugs, of course, and someone had poured something they shouldn't at the wrong time. The flames extended surprisingly quickly all over. A few customers managed to run away, but covered in fire they didn't get that far. Even a few managed to get run over by new cars in the street in front.
Alastor slid under with his shadow to cross the road. The heat of the fire received him, gently blowing his red hair off his forehead. Oh, on any other day this would be just hilarious for him. The charring bodies that were being spread everywhere because of the constant crashing of cars, going through the windows of other stores and also setting them on fire like human size molotovs. That kind of chaotic violence was merely one of the reasons why he loved Hell.
But at the moment, his attention was on staring through the fires already in front of him. Squinting his eyes and adjusting his monocle, Alastor tried to identify a stupid top hat or a white face. Surely none of this was ever going to be enough to hurt Lucifer. Maybe disorient him for a bit or knock him out for a few minutes. If that was the case, then maybe he would have to wait until the flames slowed down enough for him to retrieve him.
"Darling?" he called, just in case. For a few seconds, nothing happened. Nothing outside of the mayhem that was already happening at least. Then, a black hand reached out from between the flames.
"I am okay!" The voice of Lucifer, blindly patting the air. "I can't see shit, though. Little help?"
"Sure."
Alastor couldn't extend his shadow in a place with too much light and he really didn't want to risk his own suit getting damaged. Luckily for them, there was a very breakable lamp post nearby that Alastor could take off the floor and extend inside. As soon he saw that tiny hand grasping the iron end, Alastor pulled him in until the rest of the devil came out of the fire and made him land in front of him. When Lucifer stood up, Alastor threw the lamp post over his shoulder. Directly into the front window of another car that went to crash into another, but by then Alastor was not paying any attention to it. Besides a few wrinkles here and there, his bowtie slightly crooked, Lucifer looked just as perfect as he did before that. Would he make him repeat the question again? Or maybe pretend that it never even happened? Alastor truly had no idea.
He had thought that waiting on Lucifer to pop the question would be nerve wrecking, but never stopped considering what it would be to actually wait for the answer. Oh god, what did that devil do to reduce him to such a pathetic state? This was humiliating.
Lucifer took one look over himself. He was gripping his tall hat over his head during the whole ordeal. Alastor sometimes truly hated that thing. He said because it was ridiculous looking and it was, but also didn't let him see Lucifer's face as much as he wanted to, or to get a read on him. When Lucifer straightened up, he took out the hat with him in order to find his gaze. Alastor registered the way that Lucifer fidgeted with the rim before he lifted it up to his face. Lucifer only did that when he could control his emotion any longer.
"Yes," said Lucifer and now Alastor did look up, blinking. It was rare the occasion in which he got to see Lucifer so seriously.
"Hmm?" He asked, stupidly, his chest pounding.
"I said yes," said Lucifer, his lips pressing against each other in a determined line. "I will marry you." He let out a chuckle, brushing his hair back as if the answer had liberated a heavy weight off his shoulders. As he took a step forward to take Alastor's hand, Alastor found himself allowing it for this time. Public displays of affection weren't his things, but there was always an exception. Lucifer always ended up being the exception. "I... I am actually so glad you... I have wanted to, but didn't know if you... want to."
Alastor grinned, squeezing his hand back.
"Wise decision," he said, his words finally coming back to him easily. "I would have made you suffer so much for it. You can't even imagine it."
Lucifer laughed. "I know," he affirmed and took another step. "I love you."
At that moment another store exploded nearby, also another front for drugs. Alastor felt the heat wave washing over his back, agitating his ears from behind, but that could wait a little longer. Sometimes there were things more important than chaos. Some order could also be fine, when it was correct. Like the one of a ring passed from one hand to another. Alastor let the one that cost a jeweler his life slide over a black finger and bend down to kiss him, among the wails of suffering and noise of massive destruction all around them.
Alastor didn't know what he was so nervous about before.
This was perfect.