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Naoya wasn’t a man that showed up for holidays. They often passed you by without fanfare or comment unless you planned something. If the deigned to show up, that is. His birthday was of course the exception to this, as that was a day entirely about himself. Being married to a man so self-centred was simultaneously exhausting and freeing. Every responsibility was on you if you wanted to celebrate, but there was no expectation to. Some men would expect you to handle everything and for it to be perfect, but if you truly did nothing for any given holiday, Naoya wouldn’t even flinch. Wouldn’t bat an eye that it was another normal day. For his birthday, you simply ensured that the servants were making his favourite meal, and that was considered enough. Birthday head without him asking, if you were feeling generous. On your own birthday, you generally got the same, though you suspected that wasn’t something Naoya planned or did himself. It was a quiet life you led, and while it had been strange at first and even a little disheartening, you’d become accustomed to it.
Which was why you were so confused to wake up to flowers on Valentines day, and your husband nowhere to be found.
In fact, you were concerned.
You took them and handed them to a member of the staff to be properly treated and put into a vase, because in fact the bouquet was beautifull and comprised of all your favourites so of course it deserved to be properly cared for despite your disconcertion.
You roamed the grounds of the compound looking for your husband. It was quiet, it always was since everything happened with Maki. You could still hardly believe it, that almost the entire family was gone. If you hadn’t gotten to Mai in time, you can’t imagine how much worse it could’ve been. You had always done your best with those girls. Naoya might be your husband, but that didn’t mean you followed the Zenin family ideals, of course not.
You wondered sometimes if coming back from the brink of death at his cousin’s hands had changed him. It showed in the little things sometimes, and the looks you caught. The way he’d sit on the opposite side of the room, and you could feel his eyes on you, but only as long as you weren’t looking at him - whenever you attempted to make eye contact, tried to ask what was wrong, he’d not just look away but often leave the room. If you didn’t know better, you might think it was shame.
When you did eventually find Naoya, he was knelt in the gardens beside the pond. You said nothing as you approached, nor as you knelt down beside him. A long moment passed before either of you spoke, and once again you found yourself surprised, as it was Naoya that broke first.
“Did you see the flowers?” He asked, voice soft, and you had a feeling he was fighting to keep it steady.
“I did, they’re beautiful. Thank you, Naoya.” Came your equally soft reply. Like you were both afraid of breaking this fragile moment between you. The air between you wasn’t quite awkward, wasn’t quite tense, it was just.. new. You weren’t sure if new excited or frightened you.
You could tell in the quiet that came after that Naoya was struggling. Emotional displays were another thing that he just didn’t really partake in, so the idea that he’d even tried was incredibly touching, and a part of you wanted to tell him he didn’t need to continue. But you wanted him to, so desperately. You needed to know where he was going with this, what had compelled him to have such a drastic change in heart. To anyone else it may feel like a small change, but to you, it was like the very world had changed on its axis.
“You saved my life.” Naoya finally said, and those quiet words seemed to echo around the gardens, only to settle heavily on your heart.
That wasn’t strictly true, not really. That was the doctors and Maki’s own restraint that had done that. But, you couldn’t deny your involvement. Weak and struggling, eyes brimming with desperate tears, you’d carried Mai’s barely breathing body up from the weapons vault and collapsed at Maki’s feet. You’d begged for Naoya’s life, and offered her sister in return, who you’d just revived. You hadn’t held Mai over her head, you’d offered her freely because girls so young shouldn’t have to die for their ideals, but you’d asked that please she show mercy that none of them deserved, certainly not Naoya, and let your husband live.
She’d accepted, if only for your sake. Because you’d always tried. Because for just a moment, maybe she’d seen a world where Naoya could change, with your gentle guidance.
“Naoya, I didn’t-”
“You had no reason to do what you did. I have not been a good husband,” he said, cutting you off, “you could have been free to pursue someone better, someone who would treat you with kindness. But you didn’t. You collapsed at her feet and you begged for my life.”
“I didn’t think you were conscious enough to remember that.”
“It haunts me. The vision of you weeping and pleading on my behalf.” It was like a knife in your heart, made a void open in your stomach. What were you supposed to say to that?
“So, that’s.. what’s caused this change?” You asked, hesitant in case it made him retreat from you again. You watched as he dipped the tip of his finger into the pond, the fish swimming closer to inspect before swimming away again.
“I suppose so,” he finally said with a sigh that spoke of there being a lot more on his mind, “I had a lot of time while I was healing, and I did a lot of thinking. Thought about the sort of things I usually avoid thinking about.” You remained silent, letting Naoya take his time to put his thoughts into words coherent enough to share with you.
“I developed feelings for you, at some point. I couldn’t tell you when, but it was a startling realisation. Laying there, half dead, and realising I’ve been in love with my spouse for a long time and I almost never got the chance to tell you. I almost let.. everything else get in the way.” He finally finished, and you watched his throat bob as he swallowed hard, as if he was swallowing down all the negative thoughts and harsh things his lips wanted to spit on instinct.
“I knew what I was getting into when I married you, Naoya. I knew I’d never be your number one priority, but I made you mine anyway. I was okay with that, because I knew.. somewhere inside you was a heart that cared for me, on some level.” You replied softly, just brave enough to shuffle slightly closer.
“It doesn’t bother you? That you’re married to a man who bought you flowers for the first time today, because he had to nearly die to realise what you mean?”
“I’m just interested in learning who this new version of you is, and whether I can grow to love him just as much as the old one.”
Silence followed again. You didn’t mind. Naoya took his time to process that, eyes still fixed on the pond in front of you. Time seemed to pass slowly, you looked up to watch the clouds pass by, looking for shapes in them.
“I want to do better.” Naoya finally said, looking at you for the first time since you’d knelt beside him.
“You already are.” You lowered your eyes from the blue sky above you to meet his, finding the depth of his sincerity there clear as anything.
“Be my Valentine?” He asked, and he clearly felt ridiculous for it. You almost laughed, but resisted for his sake. You wouldn’t want him to think you were rejecting him.
“Of course.” You agreed. When he kissed you, it felt like a promise, and a new start.